


Prat Prince of Camelot High

by KrystalM



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: All are taking A levels, Alternate Universe - High School, Angst with a Happy Ending, Arthur Being an Asshole, Attempt at Humor, Bisexual Merlin, Creepy Cenred, Eventual Arthur/Merlin - Freeform, Eventual Romance, Fluff and Humor, Football Captain Arthur, Football | Soccer, Good morgana, Hurt Merlin, Implied Gwaine/Percival - Freeform, Implied Lancelot/Gwen - Freeform, Implied Morgana/Will - Freeform, Implied Relationships, Implied Will/Leon, M/M, Mutual Pining, Pining Merlin, Private School, Protective Arthur, Requited Unrequited Love, Sexuality Crisis, Slow Build, Slow Burn Arthur Pendragon/Merlin, Slow Romance, Straight Arthur, Teen Angst, Teen Romance, Unrequited Morgana/Will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-10
Updated: 2017-12-10
Packaged: 2018-11-30 07:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 25
Words: 153,286
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11458521
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/KrystalM/pseuds/KrystalM
Summary: Merlin Emrys is the new kid in Camelot High who just simply wanted to blend in. But of course, not everything's easy for this boy. To keep his mother happy, he decided to try out for the school's football team only to endure his football captain, Arthur Pendragon, who seemingly found picking on Merlin somewhat amusing.And Merlin learns, as time goes by, that there's a fine line between hate and love.





	1. Merlin Emrys's Beginning

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot.
> 
> A/N: Hello! So, yes, I decided to post a new story even though I still have He Who Is King on-going. I just thought to manage these two fan fics side by side so when one story updates, the other is in progress of writing and vice-versa. Well, that's my plan anyway. 
> 
> This is a rewrite from the original which was posted in fanfiction.net by the way. The general plot is the same, for those who had read the original but I did major edits to this, such as the characterisations, dialogues, grammar and spelling as well as fixing the plot flow so it flowed more realistically. 
> 
> The rating _might_ change. I'm not sure yet and as for other warnings, if there is any later on, I'll make sure to place it at the beginning of the chapter and add it in the tags as I post. Maybe. I don't think there's any trigger warning at all in my story, because I never do write stories with trigger warnings--but just in case, I'll put it out there.
> 
> I cringed at my original and just had to rewrite it. I did. And I'm very much happy with the rewrite. So, here's the first chapter! I hope it's as enjoyed as He Who Is King. Let me know what you guys thought and let me know if you want more chapters! Until next time! -Krystal

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story is being translated/translated in [คนไทย](https://writer.dek-d.com/dek-d/writer/view.php?id=1728549) by [PymEmrys](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PymEmrys/pseuds/PymEmrys)

 

 

 

I was getting tired of hearing the same lecture over and over. It was the same speech every single time, ever since I had gotten the scholarship to help me pursue my studies in Camelot High. It wasn’t that I didn’t understand the significance of this to my life, I did. I just wished my mum would stop worrying. 

 

It was touching and unnerving at the same time. 

 

"So, you must understand, Merlin, this could be a new start for you, okay?" Hunith, my mum stated as she looked at me through the rear view mirror. 

 

Of course I understood! I gave her a wry smile at that. It was by sheer miracle I managed to get into Camelot High in the first place. After the disaster that it was my last high school, my mum persuaded me to try out for Camelot High, especially their scholarship. For it being a private school and with my pretty good marks, I managed to get in. 

 

But it didn’t mean I was happy about it. I had heard rumours about the school and the last thing I wanted was to be in a school filled with rich brats. But I did and it eased my mum’s burden, so I didn’t show obvious distaste for the school and sucked it up. 

 

"Merlin, are you even listening?" my mum asked, her voice lit in annoyance. I looked at her, blinking before giving her another smile, sheepish. She sighed as she slowed down the car and stopped right in front of the school. I took in a deep breath and clutched on the bag that was on my lap tighter.

 

“Sorry, mum,” I said. She rolled her eyes before she waved at the door. “Right,” I said as I felt my heart thundering against my chest. My palms started to sweat, realising quickly that this was it—this was my first day. 

 

“Have fun,” she said, her eyes coloured a bit worriedly. I nodded at her and then flashed her another smile to assure her that I would be fine and then got out of the car. 

 

I sighed, this was it. My first day of—hell.

 

I glanced at my mum who only waved at me with a cautious smile on her face. With that, she drove away, leaving me to stare at the school. Biting my inner cheek and swallowing down the anxiety, I walked to the school, passing by the huge lawn on my left and right. 

 

There were many students loitering the lawn, some were simply talking with their cliques while others were doing their own things like reading or studying. Immediately, I felt out of place. No matter what, these students here all had prestigious backgrounds that I didn’t have. 

 

It was the aura around the school that screamed royalty that had me feeling so awkward. I didn’t like the feeling at all. I tried to talk to myself, trying to keep the anxiety from taking over but the more I walked towards the school, the more stressed out I became. 

 

Walking to the doors of the big school, I pushed open the glass door and walked inside. The hall was busy, that was the first thought that ran through my mind. Lockers and the halls; they were all so different from my school. 

 

Classier, cleaner—was it possible for the snobbishness to ooze out from inanimate objects? Because I swore it felt like that.

 

_Obviously, I travelled almost half way through Britain to get here. Of course it would be different_ , I ranted in my head.

 

I continued to walk down the hallway, cautiously avoiding everyone and navigating through the crowd. It wasn’t pleasant and the anxiety only wracked through me even more. I took in another shaky breath as I looked around the place, feeling dread washing into me as I realised that I was indeed way out of my place. 

 

My uniform didn’t feel like they fit me well, and my hair felt messy. Even though I knew that I looked fine, I couldn’t help but to feel like I wasn’t. The people here made me feel that way and I hated it. Shaking the thoughts from my head, I decided to head to the office. I should get myself known that I was here and get things settled before my first class started. 

 

It didn't seem like a complete maze to find the office even though it did look like it was in one short glance. They had these directions already planted on the walls of the school, enough direction to allow the students to get to where they wanted to go, though. I guess that was one of the great things about this place.

 

Navigating signs, I snorted. 

 

I reached the office a little less than twenty minutes at the third floor. Even the hallway where the office was located was quite classy looking, with pristine white walls and golden stripes running down the centre of the walls, the school emblem painted on it. 

 

When I reached the office, a woman greeted me, a soft smile on her face."Your registration sheet?" the woman asked as she fixed her glasses and looked at me. I could only nod at the receptionist before I dug my bag for the piece of paper which had my full profile on it. I gave it to the lady with a copy of my picture along the way. She quickly took the paper and my picture before she turned her attention towards the computer screen. "Merlin Emrys, am I right?" 

 

"Yeap," I said with a small smile. She nodded a bit before she began to type furiously. She looked at me again after a few minutes before she handed me a piece of paper in return.

 

"Your timetable and locker number and password. Please get your books from the borrowed books department now," she said. I took the piece of paper without much hassle. With a short smile, I was out of there. 

 

I looked through the directions before I finally made it to the department. 

 

It didn’t take much talking before I was given the books I needed for my classes. I struggled to carry the books a bit, most of the books stuffed into my bag. 

 

With my heavy bag and a huff, I finally reached my locker. It was situated at the second floor where my classes would take place. Opening the locker combination with a few swift turns, I placed all my books into the locker and only grabbed what I needed for now. 

 

Glancing at my timetable, I bit back a groan when I realised it was Chemistry. Sighing, I plucked the textbook and slammed my locker shut, walking to the Chemistry Lab. Walking inside, I stopped to stare at the students in the lab. 

 

There it was, the same feeling of awkwardness that I hated. I scanned the room, ignoring the silent whispers I could hear from one or two of the students in the classroom and found a seat at one of the unoccupied seats in the lab. It was a bit weird why nobody sat on this lab desk, considering it was the second lab desk on the left row. 

 

Maybe it was closer to the teacher than they would have liked, I thought. I took my seat and placed my book on the desk, clearing my throat. The school bell rung afterwards and everyone shuffled to their seats when the teacher walked in, a smile on his face. 

 

“Welcome back to school," the teacher said. “I hope everyone is ready to get back to studying.” 

 

I heard some of my classmates groaning and personally, I found it amusing. I bit back a smile at that and continued to stare at the teacher, wanting to pay attention. After all, it wasn’t easy getting the scholarship and I had to maintain the grades if I wanted to continue be supported financially. Plus, Chemistry wasn’t my strongest subject; it would do good if I concentrated in class.

 

Just then, someone settled into the seat next to me. Ah, I guess I was wrong. Maybe this table was occupied after all. I chewed my bottom lip, wondering if I would be asked to change my seat. I waited for a few seconds but then the class went on like normal and nobody was kicking me out from my seat. I sighed in relief and chanced a glance at who my desk partner was. 

 

My eyes caught a glimpse of blue eyes. His hair was in a pretty shade of gold and he looked—strong. I didn’t know why I continued to stare at him, but I did. He seemed to notice I was staring at me and his blue eyes landed on me. I was taken aback at how blue his eyes were. 

 

It made me wonder if the sky had borrowed him those colours. He furrowed his eyebrows and a look of irritation passed on his face. 

 

"Can I—help you?" he asked, his voice tight. That snapped me out from my staring and my cheeks reddened when I realised he caught me. I could mentally—no, physically slap myself with my shoe right now for acting like a retard on the very first day. I immediately shook my head and turned my attention to the teacher, hearing a scoff coming from him. "Weirdo," I heard him whisper in irritation. 

 

I flinched at that and looked down to my desk, feeling my cheeks heating up even more. God, why must I be so weird? Why couldn’t I have just stared at him for a bit and went back to the board? I chewed my inner cheek and shook my head a bit, trying to quench this sudden feeling of embarrassment. 

 

"Merlin?" the teacher called my name, jolting me away from my thoughts. I looked at him, eyes wide and wary. He then pointed to the stuff he had written on the board and said, “Are you okay?”

 

I felt even worse than before, my whole face felt like it was on fire and I heard some people snickering at the back. Swallowing, I said, “Yeah.”

 

The teacher nodded at that and continued on with the class while I zoned out a bit. I didn’t like this school. I hated how it made me feel. I wanted to go home and just slump on my bed. I bit back a sigh and returned my attention to the lessons. Before I knew it, class was over and everyone began to leave. 

 

I quickly gathered my stuff, simply shoving them into my bag. With that done, I made my way out of the lab. As I was about to just simply run out of the door, my eyes trained on the floor, my face collided with the back of someone. 

 

Scrambling to catch myself and trying to process just what happened, I fell on my bum on the floor. My nose throbbed a bit and I reached out to touch it, wincing when my fingers touched the tip of my nose. 

 

"What the hell?" a voice said, confused, as I slowly looked up at which idiot had actually stopped walking at the entrance. My eyes immediately glued on the familiar blue ones before I sighed. "Aren't you going to apologise?" he asked as his eyes narrowed.

 

I slowly got up, rubbing my nose and refraining myself from touching my bum from the pain before I looked at him. He could’ve had the decency to ask if I was alright, I muttered in my head. But I didn’t voice that out, not wanting to make an enemy on my first day of school, so I swallowed my words and nodded at him.

 

"Yeah, sorry," I said. 

 

He seemed unsatisfied though and my heart thundered against my chest at the thought of being pushed down by him. The boy looked tough, his shoulders broad and eyes sharp and cold. I knew that if he wanted it, he could beat me up and that was the last thing I wanted. 

 

I looked away from him and spotted a small gap for me to escape at the door. With a deep breath, I slipped past him and ran off. 

I heard him yelling but I didn’t bother to stop. I just continued to run, feeling a bit scared that the boy would chase after me. But when I reached my locker and stopped to look over my shoulders, I realised with relief that the boy hadn’t chased after me. 

 

Good. 

 

I didn’t like the boy at all, I mused. He was a prat. That one thing about him was the truth. I didn’t like judging someone quickly based on their first impression, but something about the boy grated my nerves. Shuddering a bit, I pushed the thoughts away from my mind and opened my locker door. 

 

Time to head to the next class. 

 

 

***

 

 

Sitting in this class wasn't so bad. I didn't see that blond boy so I was happy about that. I found an empty seat near the middle of the room, again, weird empty spaces in this class too, but I simply took my seat after confirming that nobody else sat here. 

 

I felt myself relaxing a bit when I realised for good that there was a new set of people here, no blond boy here. Good. If I could avoid the boy for the rest of the day, that would be splendid. I, then, turned to place my books on my desk before someone sat next to me. 

 

I turned my attention towards whoever my desk mate was and my eyes snapped wide in shock when I realised who was sitting next to me. My throat immediately had gone dry. I continued to stare at her for a while, my mouth gaping for a second before I closed it.

 

"Morgana?" I croaked, unsure if it was really her or if my eyes were playing tricks on me. The girl then looked at me, her green misty eyes covered in slight confusion before she froze when our eyes met. I did too when I realised—it was her.

 

"Merlin?" she questioned as I could only nod. Without warning, I was dragged to my feet and into a hug. I stiffened for a while, letting her to hold me before I laughed, hugging her back, tight. 

 

Suddenly, I sensed that the whole room had gone silent. I pulled away from her and looked around the room, realising that some of the students were whispering while staring at us. Furrowing my eyebrows in slight confusion, I looked at her only for her to smile brightly at me.

 

"What are you doing here?" she asked as she gripped both of my shoulders. I could only smile at her as I decided to ignore the stares that were burning through me. Morgana had always been popular ever since we were little. It made sense that anyone near her got sucked into the spotlight too. 

 

"I—school here now, apparently," I murmured as she beamed up at me. 

 

"That's great news, Merlin!" she exclaimed as she hugged me once again. "I never thought I would live to see the day my childhood friend, Merlin, actually schooling in a school for rich brats," she said with a small giggle.

 

“Well,” I said. “Scholarship helped. And my mum’s persuasion.”

 

"I missed you so much! The last time we saw each other was when? Since I moved away? How have you been?" she spoke, her questions firing away without a break. I could only smile at her back.

 

"I've been doing fine, thanks. You? Have you met the prince you declared you would meet?” I joked as she just smacked at my shoulder playfully, a small smile still playing on her lips. 

 

“I’m doing fine too. And hah! I decided to give up on that. Independent woman and all that,” she said, a grin on her face. I chuckled and nodded before taking a step away from her. 

 

“I missed you,” I told her. Her cheeks tinted in slight pink before she nodded, a look of sadness washed over her eyes. “You never contacted me again.”

 

“I missed you too, Merlin,” she said as she sighed. “And I’m sorry I couldn’t contact you. Before I knew it—time got out of my hand and it was too awkward for me to talk to you.”

 

“I guess,” I said, feeling slightly dejected. She touched my shoulder and squeezed tight. 

 

“I’m here now,” she said and then smiled, warmly. “Forgive me?”

 

“Depends,” I said and then smiled at her to show that I was teasing her. “You’ll keep in touch with me now I’m here?”

 

“As if I’m letting you slip through my fingers again,” she said, her voice stern and her eyes flashed determined. I felt my breath catching in my throat as I tried to blink away the slight tears in my eyes. I really did miss her. She noticed the look on my face before she huffed, affectionately and pulled me into another hug. I clung onto her, breathing her scent in that always calmed me down. “I’m so sorry, Merlin.”

 

“It’s fine,” I whispered against her. “You’re here now.”

 

“I am,” she said before she pulled away, her hands against my cheeks, caressing them. I felt my face redden a bit before I cleared my throat. “We’ll be best friends forever! Mind you, you have to share that spot now.”

 

I chuckled and nodded at her. “Of course.”

 

“You’re hanging out with me during lunch break,” she added after a second of silence. I opened my mouth only for her to shake her head, her eyes flashing, once more determined. I knew her long enough that I wouldn’t be able to escape her grasp once she was determined for it. I nodded at last and gave her a wry smile. 

 

“Fine,” I said and she nodded. 

 

Morgana Le Fay had always been my best friend since I was in pre-school.

 

We've been practically inseparable. She was always there for me and vice versa. When I was thirteen, she moved away. I never met her family, but she had met mine on several occasions when she would come over to my place. I missed her a lot and we did try to keep in touch for a while before we lost complete touch with each other. 

 

It was nice to see her again, I noted in my head.

 

 

***

 

 

I followed Morgana to the cafeteria. She looked amused when my eyes widened at how big this place was. It wasn’t anything like the cafeteria I had in my old school. It was clean, for one, I thought. She chuckled as she placed her hand on my shoulder, squeezing tight. 

 

“It is pretty big,” she said as if she had read my mind. “It’s supposed to be with the amount of money the school gets.”

 

“My school didn’t even have this much room for a cafeteria,” I said, slightly overwhelmed. 

 

“This is a pricey school, Merlin,” she chided. I glanced at her and rolled my eyes, grinning. My day slowly started to get better, my shoulders relaxing. 

 

“My school’s a dump,” I agreed with her. She winked at me before she pointed to one of the tables. 

 

“There,” she said as she walked over to the table. I followed her from behind, taking in the cafeteria and wondering for a while if I would ever fit in. It wasn’t as if I couldn’t, now that I had Morgana by my side, but it was still a worry. Even though I didn’t want to be in the spotlight, I would still like it if I wasn’t standing out like a sore thumb.

 

When I reached the table, my eyes landed on a girl with curly hair and dark skin. She looked at me, her hazel eyes shimmering in slight confusion before she looked at Morgana, furrowing her eyebrows. I fidgeted behind Morgana, biting my inner cheek as nervousness washed into me. 

 

“Hey,” Morgana said as she took a seat next to girl. “Look who’s here!”

 

“Hi,” I said, voice meek. 

 

The girl smiled before she waved a bit, glancing at Morgana with raised eyebrows. “I’m Guinevere,” she said, still smiling. “You can call me Gwen.”

 

“Merlin,” I said. “Merlin Emrys. Ah, you can call me Merlin.”

 

Gwen grinned then before she waved at the empty seats in front of her. “Come on and sit down.”

 

I nodded at her and sat down at one of the empty chairs, feeling a bit relaxed now that she seemed nice. “This is my childhood friend actually, Gwen,” Morgana said. “I told you about him remember?”

 

Gwen’s eyes lit up in recognition. “Oh! Yes, I recall you talking about him. It’s nice to meet you, Merlin.”

 

I rubbed the back of my neck, face reddening a bit as my chest warmed at that. “It’s nice to meet you too, Gwen,” I said. 

 

“She’s my best friend,” Morgana said, looping her arm around one of Gwen’s own. “She’s the first friend I ever made when I moved.”

 

Gwen rolled her eyes but her cheeks reddened as well. “Morgana was quiet and awkward so I went to say hi.”

 

“Awkward?” I asked, lips twitching to smile. “Quiet?”

 

Morgana rolled her eyes, giving me a sneer. I almost laughed at that, realising that she hadn’t changed one bit. “Yes, that’s what everyone tends to do, you know, when they move far away from everything they know about.”

 

She sounded slightly bitter at the end but I didn’t dare to comment. I wasn’t even sure why she moved away and when I tried to ask before she left, she only gave me a vague answer. I knew better than to pry the answers out of her, so I simply gave her a weak smile. 

 

“I get it,” I said before I jokingly pointed at myself. “New student here, see?”

 

“Welcome to Camelot High,” Gwen said and Morgana chuckled. 

 

“Thanks,” I said, even though I didn’t sound completely happy about it. 

 

“Don’t worry, Gwen’s here under scholarship too,” Morgana said as she patted Gwen’s arm. “You’re not alone.”

 

Gwen bit her bottom lip and worried it, looking a bit uneasy at the fact. I frowned a bit at that and Morgana sighed, looking at me in the face and shrugged. “It’s a school filled with rich brats, Merlin. What did you expect when poor kids joins them?”

 

I didn’t take offence to that, knowing exactly what she meant. The carefully disguised warning under her tone made me wonder just what would happen if those ‘rich brats’ found out we were under financial aids. It wasn’t as if it was uncommon. 

 

Maybe we weren’t vain enough for them, I supposed. I nodded at her before I looked over my shoulders to the front of the cafeteria where the lunch ladies sold food. Gwen noticed me looking and she stood up, patting down her skirt. 

 

“Come on, let’s get you something to eat,” she said. I smiled gratefully at her and stood up, waving at Morgana once before we headed to the front. Gwen hummed a bit under her breath and I quietly followed her, the anxiousness died away at the back of my mind. 

 

“I missed her,” I said, almost suddenly. I froze for a second, realising what I had said. Gwen glanced at me before she smiled. 

 

“She missed you too,” Gwen said as we walked directly to where they served fruits. “She sometimes wonders what you’re doing or how you’re doing. Why did you guys lose contact, anyway?”

 

I shrugged at her as I looked through the selection of fruits, my eyes landed on the last apple in the tray. “One day, it just stopped,” I said, feeling a pang in my chest at that. 

 

Reaching my hand out, I picked the apple from the tray and held it in my hands. Then—it was gone. 

 

I blinked, realising my hand was empty. One second the apple was in my hand and the next, it was gone. 

 

“Thanks,” a voice said. I tensed up at the voice, recognising it. I slowly looked at who it was standing next to me and met with the same cold blue eyes from hours ago. I bit back a groan as I took a step back, handing out my empty palm at him. His eyes landed on my palm before he looked at my face, raising the apple that was in his grip and shaking it a bit. 

 

“Hand it over,” I said, trying to sound patient. 

 

“This?” he asked. “Nah, I think I’ll keep it.”

 

“Why?” I asked, eyebrows furrowing. “I had it first.”

 

“Then I took it,” he said, shrugging. “That’s life.”

 

I felt irritation bubbling in my chest as I clenched my hands into fists. “I took it first,” I repeated. The blond-haired boy simply raised his eyebrows at me, taking a menacing step forward. I felt Gwen taking in a sharp breath from behind me and I was aware that the cafeteria had gone silent. 

 

The blue eyes narrowed at me before a cruel smirk crawled on his lips. “And I took it from you,” he said. “What are you going to do about it?”

 

I knew that I couldn’t actually do anything about it. I might be as tall as him but my body was at the smaller side, thinner and scrawny meanwhile he was built like a tank, strong arms and chest and broad shoulders. I feared a bit that he would actually punch me in the face. 

 

There was something in me that told me to take a step back, move away and that it wasn’t worth getting into trouble on the first day of school. 

 

But he irked me. 

 

“Stop being a prat and hand me over the apple!” I said, words blurting out from my mouth without filter. When I realised what I had said, my eyes widened and this time—I swore I was about to die. I could even hear whispers of astonishment from around me. I felt a hand wrapping around my arm, trying to tug me away form the red-faced blond boy.

 

“What,” the blue-eyed boy said as he took another menacing step forward, causing me to flinch. “Did you call me?”

 

I held back my breath, trying to stop myself but then I recalled what he did and—I felt done. I had been bullied before and I never once stood up for myself. “A. Prat,” I hissed. “That’s what I called you. Give me back my apple!”

 

The smirk on his face became twisted, crueler, especially when he grabbed my collar and started to tug me closer to him. My heart went on overdrive as fear wrapped itself around my heart. The hand on my arm tightened. 

 

“You must be new,” the blond hissed. “You must not know who I am.”

 

Oh God. I hate people like him, people who thought their existence meant more than mine or anyone else for that mattered. I glared at him, grabbing the hand that held my collar. He seemed to be slightly taken aback at the glare. 

 

“I don’t care,” I said. “I just want my goddamn apple!”

 

“You’re the one who started this, you scrawny thing,” he spat out. 

 

“When?” I asked, confused. 

 

“When you bumped into me and refused to even apologise!”

 

“I did!” I yelled at him. His jaw tightened and the slight courage I had moments ago faded when I realised he had tightened his grip around my collar. Great, I was going to die on the very first day here. I started to regret standing up to him. Maybe it would have been better if I ignored him and let him take the apple after all. 

 

“Let him go,” Morgana’s voice sounded from behind me. The boy looked over my shoulders before he frowned. 

 

“He started it first—”

 

“Now,” Morgana stressed out, her voice deadly cold. The blond boy hesitated for a moment before he scoffed and pushed me away. I stumbled backwards and Gwen caught me, looking at me worriedly. 

 

“Take the stupid apple,” the blond huffed out as he threw the apple at me. I clumsily caught it, panting for air that I lost from the fear. He eyed me one last time, contempt in his eyes before he glanced at Morgana and walked out, his friends following him. I stood there, staring at his retreating back, feeling my face burn when I realised everyone was looking at me. 

 

“What the hell are you lot looking at?” I heard Morgana yelling. Everyone looked away then, the silence broken and nobody else bothered us anymore. Still, my body trembled as I took in a shuddering breath, clutching the apple like my life depended on it. If the blond boy came another inch closer, I would have gotten a panic attack. 

 

Then, I felt a hand slapping the back of my head. I groaned in pain and rubbed the abused place, turning around to glare at Morgana, who had her arms crossed against her chest. 

 

“You’re a fucking idiot,” she said, her voice tight. 

 

“It isn’t my fault!” I said. “He took my apple, Morgana. And for the record, I did apologise to him.”

 

She shook her head and then dropped her hands to her sides. “Did you know who you just pissed off?” she asked. I narrowed my eyes at her but there was that familiar thump of fear in my chest. The feeling that had always left me feeling horrible back at home. Now—I was going to go through the same thing, it seemed. 

 

Even Gwen looked uncomfortable. 

 

“Who?” I asked. 

 

“A Pendragon,” Morgana said, her voice bitter. “Arthur Pendragon.”

 

My heart stopped beating against my chest and suddenly, my blood ran cold. No. A—Pendragon? “You don’t mean…,” I trailed off, weakly. 

 

“Yeah,” Gwen said, trying to comfort me with a weak smile but I only felt faint. I clenched on the apple tighter. 

 

“That’s,” I started and then I laughed bitterly. “Of course. Of course I would make an enemy on my first day here and hey! The enemy is none other than Arthur bloody Pendragon.”

 

Morgana sighed before she took a few steps forward, placing her hands on my shoulders and squeezing. “It’s alright, I’ll protect you.” 

 

I didn’t know if I should be thankful at her for that or not. “I didn’t know it was him,” I said. “If I knew, I would have kept my mouth shut. I wanted to stand up for myself for once—and I stood up to the one person who’s practically related to the Queen of England.”

 

“Not that closely related,” Morgana corrected me. “But that’s about right.”

 

I scowled at her. 

 

“Arthur won’t hurt you,” Morgana said, seriously when she saw the look on my face. “I promise.”

 

“But have you seen him? He’s…,” I said as I gestured to my right arm. “Strong.”

 

“He won’t touch you,” Morgana said, her eyes flashed determinedly, as if she had some sort of dirt on Arthur that could make him back off. I peered at her curiously and her face flushed, looking away as she took away her hands. 

 

“Okay,” I said, at last. I knew then Morgana was hiding something from me but I decided not to pry, not yet. Gwen took in a deep breath before she gestured to the cashier. 

 

“Let’s go and pay for our food,” Gwen said and then she patted my shoulder as well. I felt a bit better for that as I followed her, even though I was already wishing I had a time turner to turn back time and restart my day. I paid for the apple but I didn’t feel like eating it, instead, I saved it for later. 

 

I was still reeling from what had happened. Just what the hell had I gotten myself into now?

 

 

***

 

 

My mum looked at me from her rear-view mirror. “So,” she said as I sighed and glanced at her, giving her a fake smile. “Made any friends?”

 

I peaked up at that as my fake smile transformed into a genuine one. “I met Morgana, mum,” she said. My mum took a second to understand before her eyes brightened. 

 

“Oh my!” she said. “Really?”

 

“Yeah,” I said and then grinned. “She’s still the same. Nothing changed.”

 

My mum’s eyebrows raised. “Nothing changed?”

 

I looked at her for a while, wondering why she sounded like that before I felt my cheeks flushing at what she implied. “Mum!” I said, making a disgusted look on my face. “Yeah, okay, so she did change,” I mumbled, feeling the back of my neck burning. 

 

“She must be beautiful,” my mum said. “She had always been a looker since young.”

 

I couldn’t help but to smile at that. “Yeah, she is beautiful,” I said as I looked out of the window. “But she’s just a friend, mum.”  


My mum wisely didn’t comment on that and I sighed in relief. “What about the club activities then?” she asked, changing the subject. 

 

I furrowed my eyebrows at that and bit my inner cheek. “There was a book club,” I said, trying to avoid the disapproval look my mum gave me. 

 

“Merlin,” she started. “You promised you would try something new this time.”

 

I ran my fingers through my hair and then looked at her, pleading. “But mum,” I said. “Their pride is this football team—Noble Knights, I think. And you know how much I hate sports.”

 

She seemed to contemplate that answer before she shrugged. “Can’t you at least…try?” she asked. “I mean, maybe you’ll like it, Merlin. You never try anything new and you always spend your time at home—isn’t it time you start exploring?”

 

“I know,” I said, under my breath. My mum was right. I never tried to do anything else besides the same old routine. I was an introvert but it wouldn’t hurt to try and explore more things outside. Maybe I would discover something new about myself that I never knew about. Maybe I would be—more acceptable of who I was instead of always criticising myself. 

 

I heard my mum humming, sounding happy. And I wanted to keep her happy, all the time. I never want to see her cry again. And if it would make her happy that I was going to try something new, then so be it. 

 

“Fine,” I said, taking in a deep breath. “I’ll try out for the football team. I don’t think I’ll get in, but who knows. There’s a tryout this Friday.”

 

She beamed up at me from the rear-view mirror, a smile so bright it could blind my eyes. But all I felt was this sense of accomplishment that I made her happy by just saying that. I smiled back at her before I looked outside of the window again. 

 

I guessed I would be trying out for the football team after all.

 

 


	2. The Try-Outs

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine!
> 
> A/N: Here you guys go, the next chapter! I didn't think this story would be read or liked since I know, cliche and what not. But as long as people are reading it, I'll continue to update! Thank you to those who have read, kudos, bookmarked, subscribed and commented! Enjoy the next chapter! 
> 
> Let me know what you guys thought! Until the next chapter~ -Krystal

 

"You're going to what?" Morgana simply looked at me as if I had just lost my mind.

 

I blinked at her, unsure as to why she was looking at me like that. 

 

“I’m going to try out for the football team?” I said. Morgana looked stricken at that and Gwen was looking worried, chewing her bottom lip. I blinked again, wondering if I had said something wrong. 

 

“But…,” Gwen said, her voice careful. “It’s the football team.”

 

I sighed as I leaned against a tree, letting the breeze caress my face. It was currently recess time and Morgana had shown me this large apple tree at the school backyard. Besides, after what had happened yesterday during recess, I wasn’t going to go back in there anytime soon. I didn’t want to see Arthur.

 

"I don't think you should do it, Merlin," Morgana said after a pause.

 

“Okay, look, I’m going to try-out for the team,” I said, confused as to why they were behaving this way. “It’s not like I could even make it in the team! Have you seen me?”

 

Morgana eyed me for a second before she shook her head, looking apprehensive at my decision. Gwen, meanwhile, had simply looked away but it was clear she looked worried. I ran my fingers through my hair before I crossed them against my chest. 

 

“Okay, mind telling me why I shouldn’t try-out for the football team?” I asked, looking at them both with narrowed eyes. Morgana sighed before she rubbed her temples, clearly distressed. 

 

"Merlin, why not you just try-out for the book club? That sounds fun.” Morgana said.

 

“Oh, wow,” I deadpanned. “I see how it is. You think I’m not good enough for the football team!”

 

“That’s not what I said,” Morgana countered. “Look, the things is, you do better in a book club. You told me yourself your grades were excellent. You’ll do well in that club!”

 

“Morgana,” I said. “I’m…I’m trying out for my mum, Morgana.”

 

Morgana’s face immediately softened. She bit her bottom lip before she shrugged, eyebrows furrowed. “Does it have to be the football team?”

 

“She wants me to go out and explore,” I said. “I think it’s worth a try if it’ll make her happy.” 

 

"Then how about the Helper's Club? That's an outdoor activity," Morgana said. “You get to explore too!” She pointed a finger at me to drive in the point. I could only slap her finger away from my face, exasperated. 

 

“Morgana,” I said, voice coming out whiny. “What is the big deal with me wanting to try-out for the team? Why is it so hard for you to be supportive of my decision? Have our friendship changed that much?”

 

Morgana looked hurt for a second. “How dare you claim that I’m not supportive?” she hissed. 

 

“Well,” I said and then spread my hands out as if to indicate the situation we were currently in. Morgana huffed before she rolled her eyes. 

 

“It’s not that I don’t support you, Merlin,” she said and then she stopped. “It’s just…”

 

I raised my eyebrows. “It’s just…what?”

 

"It's just that…you have to get into the captain of the football team’s good side first," Gwen said. I looked at her as confusion washed over my face.

 

“Okay,” I said, carefully. “So, I have to like make friends with him or something because I can do that? Like, what? I don’t understand what you’re trying to say.”

 

Morgana groaned under her breath. “Merlin,” she said. “Merlin, the captain of the football team—it’s Arthur, Merlin.”

 

My eyes widened as what she said registered in my head. “No,” I breathed out. 

 

“Yes,” Gwen said. “I’m sorry.”

 

“What the hell!” I exclaimed. I should have expected this. I should have. This was the perfect cherry cliché on top of my life. Really, of course the very person who I had insulted yesterday would be the captain of the only team I was willing to try-out for. 

 

Morgana simply stared at me, eyebrows raised as if to say ‘You see why I’m asking you to not try out?’. 

 

“Great,” I murmured. “Just…great.”

 

“The Helper’s Club,” Morgana said as she placed a hand on my shoulder. “It’s basically the same thing—only without the sweat and gross boys’ lockers.”

 

My nose twitched at that. Well, Morgana did have a point. “How am I going to tell my mum that I chose Helper’s Club?”

 

“Say,” Morgana said. “Say you didn’t get into the team.”

 

I groaned under my breath. This was just great. “She is going to be so disappointed,” I mourned. Morgana gave me a pat on my shoulder. 

 

“Talk to your mum, then,” she said, her voice soft. “Just, Merlin, I promise you, it’s not safe for you if you try-out for the team. Arthur seems to think you’re irritating.”

 

I looked at her and then huffed. “Like he isn’t as irritating,” I bit out. “I mean—did Barbie lose her boyfriend or something because he looks like Ken.”

 

Gwen chuckled and shook her head. “He’s the perfect blond,” she said and I rolled my eyes.

 

“Yeah, sure,” I snorted, earning amused looks from the girls. 

 

After a while, I finally nodded. “Fine, I’ll just join the Helper’s Club,” I said, earning a relieved sigh from Morgana. 

 

“Good,” she said.

 

 

***

 

 

I walked into my classroom, keeping my head low and my eyes trained on the floor. I decided after what happened yesterday that I would keep to myself. I didn’t come here to be bullied or to be known. I liked my personal space and I intend to keep all my limbs attached to my body. I stood in the middle of the classroom and lifted my eyes to scan for empty places. 

 

Just as I took a step forward, the entire classroom went dead silent. I looked around and noticed that they were staring at me. I fidgeted where I stood before my eyes landed on the familiar blue eyes. Biting back a groan, I looked away from him and found an empty seat. My heart sank to the pit of my stomach when I realised who my seat mate was. 

 

Glancing once more at the blue eyes, I quickly walked to the empty seat, trying to subconsciously drag my chair away from him, as far as I could. Those blue eyes trained on me, like a predator who had spotted its prey and that thought alone had my chest tightening in dread. 

 

If I had the permission to sit on the floor at the back of the classroom just so I didn’t have to sit next to Arthur, I would have. Alas, taking in a shaky breath, I placed my books on my desk and sat down. 

 

With every move I made, the silence became overbearing until at last, the silence broke away and everyone returned to what they were doing before I walked in. I sighed in slight relief that I was no longer in the middle of attention and opened my textbook, wanting to distract myself from the blond pain in the arse next to me. 

 

But the longer I tried to ignore him, the more aware I was of the sharp cold blue eyes. Sneaking a glance at him, I averted my eyes back on the book when I realised that yes, he was still staring at me. Finally, after a minute of nothing but this tenseness, I snapped my head to look at him, eyes narrowed as irritation bubbled in my chest when I saw a smirk on his lips. 

 

Fucking arsehole. 

 

“Can I help you?” I asked, trying not to let my irritation show in my voice. Remember Merlin, trying to keep a low profile here, I thought to myself. 

 

Arthur’s smirk twisted into an annoyed smile. 

 

"Can I help you, he says. Yes, Merlin, you can," he said. I blinked at him, waiting for him to elaborate. He rolled his eyes before he leaned towards me, causing me to scramble backwards just to keep a healthy distance from each other.“You can help me by apologising for your behaviour yesterday."

 

"Apologise?" I asked.

 

"Yes, you idiot. I’m giving you a chance out. You didn’t know me. That’s fine. Just apologise and I’ll let you go,” he said as I could only stare at him like he just grew two heads. Apologise? For yesterday? For what I had said to him yesterday? 

 

Oh, my life just gotten better.

 

What—so Arthur could act like a total prat and nobody else was supposed to say anything about it? And if they did, they had to apologise? All because Arthur was a bloody Pendragon? 

 

I felt the irritation that was stringing in my chest bloom. I had been treated like someone insignificant too many times in my life and I promised myself that I wouldn’t tolerate it anymore. With a new sense of confidence, forgetting for a moment that I didn’t want any altercations, I stared Arthur down. 

 

"No," was my simple reply. Arthur looked at me, shocked, his eyes wide. The classroom once again hushed into whispers as eyes fell back on me. I almost shrunk under the gazes—but because I wanted to keep the promise I made myself, I didn’t. 

 

Arthur shouldn’t have expected any kind of apology from me. I wasn’t like his minions or fangirls. I didn’t want to bow down to him and kiss his feet. If anything, Arthur was insignificant to me. 

 

"Excuse me?" he asked in disbelief.

 

"I said, no. Arthur—"

 

"Oh, so you do know me. Then I suggest you better apologise before I make your life a living hell,” he cut me off, anger plain on his face. His voice was tight and they were dripping off venom as his eyes narrowed into mine. 

 

It was kind of sad to be honest that Arthur’s threat didn’t faze me even a little. Especially since I had gone through hell before and I knew that no matter what Arthur did to me, it wouldn’t be anything worse than that.

 

I took in a deep breath and spoke slowly as if I was talking to a toddler,"Arthur, I won't apologise for what I said. In all honesty, you deserved it. You’re the one who started it. That's the end of it.” 

 

With that said, I looked back to my book, feigning interest in a paragraph on the page. I heard him growling under his breath and that sound sent shivers down my spine, my blood running cold. I clenched my fingers into fists, not wanting to show that I feared him and continued to look at my book. 

 

Just then the teacher walked in and I sighed in relief. Before I could completely forget what happened, he slammed a hand on my desk, startling me. I held my breath when he leaned close to me, his breath fanning my ear. I flinched when he spoke, his voice deadly and cruel. 

 

"Just watch your back," he said before he pulled away. I gulped and took in a few shaky breaths, strings of anxiety threatened to flood my veins. I knew I was in trouble but I didn’t care much about him. I was sure that I would be fine. I had survived my last high school. 

 

Arthur was just like the rest of them. 

 

 

 

***

 

 

Closing my gym locker door after I shoved my uniform inside, I turned around to leave only to come face to face with a boy, who was as tall as me with brown hair and hazel eyes. He was looking at me with a wry smile and standing a bit too close to my liking. I took a step back and cursed inside when my back slammed against the locker door. 

 

“Uhm…,” was all I could say as I took in a deep breath. “Could you like step back from me?” I asked. He blinked as if he was surprised at the close proximity and quickly took a step back, grinning sheepishly at me. I blinked at the smile and then frowned. He rubbed the back of his neck before he cleared his throat.

 

"You should've just apologised," he suddenly said.

 

I rolled my eyes and sighed, running a hand down my face. 

 

"Look, if you're here to advice about how I should've just apologised to that prat, it would be best if you got lost," I said as I walked past him and head towards the changing room door. Arthur's minion followed me, frowning a bit, eyebrows furrowed. 

 

"I'm not trying to annoy you," he said slowly as he walked beside of me. "It's just that this is the first time anyone did that to him. He thinks you’re mouthing off too much.”

 

"Well, if it would make you all feel any better, I'm actually already living in hell," I simply stated as I continued on walking, trying to walk away from him, only for him to match my stride easily. Irritation swarmed inside me. 

 

"Look, Merlin—"

 

“No, you look here,” I said as I abruptly stopped to turn and look at him, who was startled and took a few steps back. “Go back to your mafia boss and leave me alone, okay? I won’t apologise.”

 

The boy looked ready to argue when someone stopped him. "Lancelot! What are you doing talking to him? Arthur wants you in the gym!" 

 

Lancelot looked at me before he shook his head and looked at the boy who called him. “Coming!” he said before he jogged towards him, following the boy to the gym. I rolled my eyes again, put off at the fact that I was already getting ambushed by Arthur's minions.

 

I walked into the gym and I was immediately in awe at how big the indoor gym was.

 

I should have gotten used to the luxury that was this school but every time I was stunned into silence. I walked into the gym further and continued to look around the place until I stopped when I heard people laughing from near the bleachers. I looked at them and before I could realise what was happening, a ball slammed into my face. It hit me square on the forehead and caused me to topple flat on the cold floor on my back.

 

I groaned in pain as I placed a hand on my forehead, trying to rub the pain away. I slowly sat down, blinking away the fuzziness in my eyes. I heard Arthur laughing and I gritted my teeth. I stood up slowly, determined not to fuel him. 

 

I looked at him and he grinned, waving his hand mockingly at me. 

 

“Hey, Merlin!” he said with a mock niceness. “Didn’t see you there!”

 

His minions only chuckled. “Ignore him,” I said to myself. “Just ignore him.”

 

“I mean,” Arthur said, voice drawling annoyingly. “I really didn’t see you there but I should have with how big your ears are.”

 

I frowned and glared at him, feeling the anger bubbling in my chest. “Aww, he’s glaring,” Arthur mocked. “You look as cute as a puppy—and I hate puppies.”

 

Of course he hated puppies, I snorted in my head. “Of course you do,” I blurted out. “Heartless bastard like you won’t like puppies.”

 

His eyes narrowed as he took a leisure step forward. “Funny,” Arthur said, though his voice was deadpanned. “Hilarious. Maybe you can be a stand-up comedian in a bar, Merlin. I’m sure you’ll make it.” He flicked a finger against my ears, causing me to stiffen. “Your ears certainly will help you.”

 

“Oh, piss off!” I snapped as I slapped his hand away. His mock innocence dropped quickly as he glared at me, his eyes went cold and I felt dread once more washing into me. 

 

“No, I don’t think I will,” he said as he squared his shoulders. “What are you going to do about it?”

 

“Don’t tempt me,” I gritted out. “And you wonder why I refused to apologise for calling you a prat!”

 

“Fuck you, Merlin,” Arthur spat. “Snap out of your delusional dreams. You mean nothing here.”

 

“No,” I said as I stood close to him before I jabbed a finger against his chest. “You’re the insignificant one here, Arthur. You’re the one acting like a blond satan here.”

 

Before I knew it, I was pushed flat on my back and Arthur towering me, his hands a fist at his sides, glaring down on me with so much venom that I was sure I would have been dead. I took in a breath, realising that pain had bloomed at the back of my head. 

 

Arthur pushed me!

 

That fucking prat pushed me!

 

"Know your place, Merlin and watch your tongue," Arthur said heatedly before he walked away from the scene. Embarrassment washed into me as I struggled to stand up. Anger clouded my senses and all I wanted right now was to get my revenge. I didn’t know what I was doing but I found a football that was used against me just now and placed it on the floor. 

 

“Maybe you should watch yours,” I bit out under my breath and before I could stop myself and think just what the bloody hell I was doing, I kicked the ball with as much power as I could muster. What I didn’t expect was for the ball to fly across the room and hit Arthur at the back of his head, causing the blond to topple on the floor, slamming with a loud thud. 

 

The entire gym had gone silent. I paled when Arthur struggled to get up. When he turned around, his eyes flashed and I knew I was dead. I took a step back, ready to run and fear coiled at the pit of my stomach. 

 

“Why you—” Arthur said but was cut off when the gym teacher walked in, glaring at Arthur.

 

“Arthur!” the teacher yelled. “What is going on here?”

 

Arthur paled as well, dropping his fists to his sides as he looked at the teacher. “S—sir.”

 

The teacher marched towards us and then sighed loudly, glaring at the both of us. I shrunk under his gaze. God, I hoped this didn’t end up in my record. It would cause my scholarship to be revoked. I felt fear increasing at that. If that happened, my mum will be so disappointed and that was the last thing I wanted. 

 

Unknowingly, tears started to gather in my eyes. God, why couldn’t have I thought first before I acted?

 

"Merlin Emrys and Arthur Pendragon, I expected more from you two. Especially you, Arthur," the teacher scolded as he looked at the both of us. I felt my cheeks rose a bit from the embarrassment. I slowly looked at Arthur whose jaws were clenched tightly. “This is not abrawling arena. This is a school!”

 

I gulped and looked down to the ground, looking at my feet. 

 

Then, the teacher sighed. "But—Merlin," he said and smiled. I looked at him confused. I quickly wiped my eyes, looking away for a second, waiting for him to speak."I have never seen anyone besides Arthur kicking that ball with that much power before."

 

"What?" Arthur immediately exclaimed as he looked at both of us meanwhile I snapped my eyes wide open in shock. That was the most ridiculous thing I had ever heard!

 

“S—sir?” I said, unsure if he was joking or not. The teacher however continued to smile, his eyes twinkled as if he had found his treasure and that look aimed at me made me uncomfortable. Arthur glanced at me before he looked back at the teacher. I was as confused as Arthur. 

 

"Merlin, I believe you have some hidden talent," the teacher continued on as I stood there looking at him shocked. "And we could use your talent in the football team."

 

"This must be a joke!" Arthur said. “He’s—He doesn’t—what are you talking about?”

 

“S—sir,” I started but the teacher cut me off, glaring at Arthur.

 

"Arthur, as the captain of the football team, I expected you to actually act like one. I didn’t think you would act so irresponsibly,” he said, causing Arthur to flinch and his jaw tightened a fraction more. “Merlin has talent. I would like it if you could accept him in your team.”

 

“But,” I began, weakly. “I’m not…I never played football before.”

 

“Look, here’s the deal,” the teacher said. “I’ll let this little altercation go if you joined the team and Arthur—you treat him like your teammate. Meaning, no bullying, no fighting. If I catch another altercation between you two, that’s it, Arthur’s out as captain and Merlin…I expect you know what this means.”

 

My breath hitched. 

 

“Sir, you can’t do that!” Arthur said. “He’s a menace!”

 

“Arthur!” the teacher said. “Do we have a deal?”

 

I opened and closed my mouth, unsure of what to say but then Arthur had sighed, shoulders sagging and he nodded. “Fine,” he said and glanced at me for a second before he rolled his eyes and looked at the teacher. “Fine, coach. Fine. He’s in. I’ll behave.”

 

“Good,” the teacher said before he looked at me. “You?”

 

“I,” I started. Arthur glanced at me again, this time his eyes narrowed. “Fine,” I blurted out at last. “Fine, okay.”

 

“Good,” the teacher said before he clapped his hands together once. “Now, let’s get this class started. Merlin, welcome to the team.”

 

Arthur had walked away after that and I watched him for a second, shaking my head. This was surreal. What the hell happened? I joined the team? That—was unexpected, I thought but I would take that to having my record scratched. I was grateful the teacher let it slide. I sighed and started to run the laps. 

 

One look at Arthur and I knew that my life was going to change—for better or maybe for the worse. At least my mum would be happy. 

 

 

***

 

 

"Oh god, no," Morgana exclaimed as I told her what had happened in gym class. We were now both walking out of school after the final bell rang for today. Her eyebrows furrowed deep and her face was plastered with worry as she looked at me.

 

"I know, Morgana. But I swear, I thought the ball would only fly a few inches from me," I said. "I didn't know it would fly off that far!"

 

"I'm never going to hear the end of it," she slowly mumbled under her breath as I looked at her in confusion. Hear what from whom? This was the fifth time I heard her talk to herself today. Something smelt fishy but I just didn't know what. And with how Morgana was acting, I could only be even more curious about it.

 

“Huh?" I said.

 

"What?" she asked as I looked at her.

 

"What do you mean 'I'm never going to hear the end of it'?" I asked as we slowed down our walk. Silence filled the air for a moment before she sighed out loud.

 

"No one. Anyway, Merlin, can't you just talk to the coach and get out of it?" she quickly switched the topic, causing me to be even more suspicious of her. I let her go at the end though and didn’t pry.

 

"I tried. But he wouldn't let me finish. Easy said, I'm stuck," I replied, playing along as she seemed troubled with that answer. I guess I was troubled as well. “But hey, at least it won’t affect my records.”

 

Morgana glanced at me before she shrugged, looking half-hearted. “Maybe,” she mumbled. I frowned at her but I kept quiet. I knew my mum would be happy. She would be smiling so wide and just that thought was enough for now for me to accept my fate.

 

Thing could have been a lot worse. 

 


	3. Secrets

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Hiiiiii. It's been quite a while, yes, but here I am! Here's the next chapter and no promises made but I'm gonna try and update the next as soon as I can. Hopefully, it won't take another three more months. I'm useless at this updating business haha. Anyways, hope you guys enjoy this chapter~ Thanks for those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and until next time~! -Krystal

 

I sighed as I opened the door to my house, walking inside and taking off my bag from my shoulders. The only thing I could think of the entire time riding the bus home was that I was in the football team—unintentionally and that Morgana was freaking out about it. She seemed genuinely worried for me and even suggested that she would tag along for the first practise session. 

I had protested but one look at her worried face and I relented. It sent flutters of dread in my chest. Was Arthur really going to ruin my life just because of one mishap? I snorted. My life had always been unpredictable, I shouldn’t be so surprised. 

I walked to the kitchen, putting my bag on the kitchen counter, humming under my breath as I opened the refrigerator. Mum was running late today so I should probably make something to eat. With that thought in my head, I made myself two slices of sandwich and carried the plate to my bedroom, slamming the door shut. I placed the plate of sandwiches on my study desk and slammed face first on my bed. 

Arthur’s face came up in my mind and I held back a groan. Just how bad was this going to be? It was clear I was on his hit list. Now that I was in his team—things were going to be ten times harder. I gnawed my lips as I turned my head to the side, huffing against my pillow. 

 

***

 

My mum looked at me from across the table, smile bright on her lips and her eyes shimmered with hope. I felt guilty that I ever thought I was going to lie to her. “So, Merlin, anything happened today?” she asked. 

I cleared my throat, looking down on my plate for a second before steeling in every fibre in my body to say the next following words, “I got into the team.”

It took less than five seconds before Mum slammed her fork down on the table, startling me. I looked at her, eyes wide and felt my heart floating in my chest when she got misty eyed. “Mum,” I started, about to assure her that it wasn’t a big deal but she got up from her chair and rushed to my side, hauling me up to my feet before crushing me in a hug. 

I immediately hugged her back, sighing a bit before smiling, feeling warm inside. 

“Oh, Merlin!” she said as she pulled away, her hands on my shoulders, squeezing them. “I’m so happy for you!” Then, she paused, a small frown fitted on her face. “But wait, I thought the try-out is on Friday?”

“Yeah, well,” I said and tried my best not to fidget where I stood. “I, uh, the coach, is my gym teacher and uh,” I stopped before I took in a deep breath, hoping my watered down version of what happened would appease her. “I was kicking around this ball…and he saw me and told me I had talent or something. Told me to join the team.”

She raised her eyebrows, disbelief crawling on her face. I knew exactly how she felt. “You have a talent in sports?” she asked and then smiled. “Honey, you never told me you had talent in football!”

“I didn’t know I had talent in playing footie either,” I said with a shrug. She laughed before she dragged me into another bone-crushing hug. 

“I’m so proud of you,” she said. I couldn’t help but to feel like I was at the top of the world right now. That was all I ever wanted from my mum. For her to be proud of me—for her to always smile. Even if it meant I was now in a team full of sharks ready to bite my limbs off the minute I get there. But it was worth it if she was smiling this widely. She pulled away once more before she touched my hair and ran her fingers through them. “Good luck,” she said and I gave her a smile back. 

“Thanks, mum,” I whispered. I was going to need that luck, I thought to myself. 

 

***

 

I walked down the school hallway, holding my bag close to my chest. I still felt awkward trying to move around the people, even if they weren’t paying attention to me. I took a chance to look at them, noticing that some people were busy talking to their cliques while others were just walking past me, rushing to their classes. I got to my locker and heaved out a breath of relief when I saw no one standing near there. 

Unlocking the door, I shoved my bag into the locker and grabbed what I needed. Just as I was about to close the door, someone tapped me on my shoulder. Surprised, I slammed the door closed and turned around, immediately frowning when I realised who it was. I pushed my back against the locker, once again aware that we were way to close. 

Lancelot blinked before he gave out an embarrassed smile and took a step back, rubbing the back of his neck. “Sorry,” he apologised. I sighed and shook my head, looking at him with a blank look on my face. 

“Is there something I can do for you?” I asked. 

Lancelot nodded and then hesitated to speak, opening his mouth for a second before closing it. Then, he took in a deep breath. “I just…wanted to talk to you.”

I frowned at him, wondering what Lancelot was doing here in front of me. I cleared my throat when I felt my cheeks flush, the way he was looking at me was making me uncomfortable. His stares were sharp and penetrating and I disliked the feeling. He dropped his eyes to the floor as if he sensed my uncomfortableness. 

“Look, if you want to say something, then please do,” I said, trying to keep my voice calm even though I really wanted to get to my Biology laboratory. At least I had somewhere to sit and let my brain catch up to this weirdness. “I have a class to get to.”

“Right, right,” Lancelot said as he glanced up at me. “I just…wanted to apologise.”

I raised my eyebrows, taking in a sharp breath at the apology as confusion waded into my mind. “Apologise?”

“Yeah,” Lancelot said, looking less timid the more he spoke. “It wasn’t fair what Arthur did to you yesterday. He isn’t always a jerk, I swear. But yesterday was uncalled for and I wanted to apologise on behalf of him.”

I stood there and stared as I let the words sink into my brain. I didn’t know how to react to that apology, especially coming from someone who had previously told me to just apologise to Arthur instead. 

“Are you kidding me?” I couldn’t help but to snap at him, voice tight. Lancelot winced and for a second, I felt guilty because he looked like a goddamn kicked puppy. “I mean, you told me yesterday that I was the one who should’ve apologised. Me. Now, you’re—what the hell?”

Lancelot nodded before he frowned, the look of guilt clear on his face. “I didn’t think he would do it,” he said, his voice now back to being timid. I held back a sigh, exasperated at what was happening. Why was I suddenly being treated like the bully? “I’m sorry.”

I nodded at him, realising that he was being sincere. His shoulders were hunched and he looked ashamed as well. “Your friend is a prick though,” I said. Lancelot looked at me and smiled a bit warily when I smiled at him. 

“He kinda is on his off days,” Lancelot agreed, his smile widening when I chuckled. 

“You shouldn’t have to apologise for what he did,” I said but before Lancelot could protest, I added, “But apology accepted anyway.”

“If it’s any consolation,” Lancelot said. “I apologise for not doing anything either when I watched Arthur jeer at you. And telling you that you should apologise.”

“Thanks, Lancelot,” I said. “You’re forgiven. Just…don’t do it again, please?” 

Lancelot nodded, his eyes shimmering a bit as the guilt left his face. “I guess I’ll see you around? Maybe we can even hang out?”

I felt light in my chest even if I was wary of trusting him. But he just looked so hopeful that I nodded, making him grin. “I’ll see you around too, Lancelot.” 

With a nod, Lancelot walked away. I took in a deep breath, my mind racing at what just happened as I shook my head and walked to the lab. 

Entering the lab, the first thing I saw was the familiar annoying blond hair. I stopped walking and stared, realising that he was in this class as well. He was surrounded by his friends, his laugh rang obnoxiously throughout the room. I took a small step back, pondering if I should leave instead and then stopped myself from doing just that when I spotted an empty seat at the back of the class, away from the blond Satan. 

Nodding to myself, I took the route furthest from him and his friends and walked to the empty seat, plopping down on the stool with a sigh. I rubbed the back of my neck as I placed my books on the table, opening up to the chapter we were going to learn today, scanning through so I could get a rough idea of what was going to be taught. Just then, the teacher walked in, clapping her hands once as everyone scrambled to their respective seats. 

Someone sat next to me, plopping down on their own stool with a loud sigh, books slammed on the desk. I glanced at my lab partner and froze when I realised who it was. Holding back the urge to scream, I scooted my stool a few inches away from the blond prat, eyes glaring into my book. I could feel his gaze on me and it was heavy with hate. 

When I glanced at him, I caught his cold blue eyes and I knew that what I felt was true. I scowled and looked at the teacher, who had a smile on her face as she scanned the lab. 

“Alright everyone, so before we begin our class,” she said. “As usual, the person who sits next to you will be your lab partner for the semester. I, of course, hope that you do not sit with someone you have sat next to last year and take the challenge to try being friends with someone new.”

My mind blanked as her words sunk into my mind. Oh no, I thought to myself. Arthur snorted under his breath, muttering something. I looked at him from the corner of my eyes and noticed that he was glaring at me, his jaw set straight. Feeling annoyed at the look of accusation on his face, I rolled my eyes and looked away, only to look back at him with a glare when he didn’t stop looking at me.

“What?” I snapped. 

“Out of all people,” Arthur said, his voice low as he finally looked away from me. Anger bubbled in me as I gritted my teeth. 

“It wasn’t me who decided to sit next to me,” I said, even though I felt like my sentence didn’t make much sense. But Arthur snorted, shaking his head as if he understood what I was trying to say anyway. He glared at me, his blue eyes a tad colder than before and I would be lying if it didn’t send chills down my spine. He didn’t say anything but it was clear in his eyes that he wasn’t in the mood to tolerate my mouthiness today. 

Something in me urged me to shut up, so I glared at him right back and looked back at the teacher, even though I felt like I didn’t look that intimidating. We didn’t speak to each other after that and when the bell rung, Arthur was the first one to scoop his stuff up and leave, jogging out to meet with his friends who were waiting for him at the front door. 

I held back a sigh and shook my head, wondering why these things always happened to me. Collecting my books, I walked out of the classroom, not looking at where I was going until I bumped into someone, causing both of us to lose our things to the floor and fall flat on our arses. 

“You couldn’t even look where you’re going?” a female voice snapped. I quickly scrambled to stand, looking down at the person who I pushed. She stood up as well, glaring at me for a second. Embarrassed, I helped her pick her books up and she helped pick mine as well. We exchanged the books and stood there as I tried to apologise to her. 

“Sorry,” I finally said, blurting the words out. “I’m really sorry. I should have been watching where I was going.”

Something on my face must have told her that I was sincere because she dropped her glare and she sighed, smiling a bit warily. “No, it’s fine,” she said as she pushed a strand of hair to the back of her ears. “I should’ve looked where I was walking too.”

I bit my bottom lip, still looking at her worriedly. “Still,” I said but she just shook her head with a bigger smile, her cheeks warming. “I’m still sorry.”

“Well, you’re forgiven then,” she said with a nod. I smiled at her in relief before I realised we were looking at each other without saying anything else. I felt my face heating up and cleared my throat. She then held out her hand, her eyes shinning in mirth. 

“I’m Freya,” she said. 

“Merlin,” I said as I shook her hand. “Merlin Emrys.”

“Well, what a name!” she said, making me to crack a grin at her. 

“My mum,” I said with a shrug. “She has some fascination with Arthurian Legends.”

“Hey,” she said as she took a step forward. “What a coincidence that I’m named Freya and we met!”

I blinked at her for a second before my entire face flamed. She seemed to realise what she had said and she stuttered as well, taking a step back. 

“I mean,” she began but I couldn’t help but to chuckle a bit at her fluster. She rolled her eyes and smiled at me. “Yes, yes, go on, laugh at me.”

“I’m sorry,” I said, the smile still big on my face. 

She just shrugged at me but it was clear she was joking. “Anyway, I have to go now but—it was nice meeting you, Merlin. Maybe we can hang out sometime?”

I didn’t hesitate to nod at her. “Absolutely. It was nice meeting you too, Freya. Hopefully, we don’t keep meeting up like this.”

She laughed, the corner of her eyes crinkled in humour. “Indeed,” she said and with a wave, she walked away. I watched her walk and then looked away, running a hand through my hair as my face felt hot. She was pretty and she seemed nice. I frowned and shook my head at the thoughts. 

With a deep breath, I headed for my next class. It wouldn’t do to have a crush on someone I just met.

 

***

 

Morgana eyed me as I sat in front of her. She was munching on some salad she most probably brought from home judging from the fact she was eating it out of her tupperware. “What?” I asked her as I placed my tray of food on the cafeteria table. 

“Nothing,” she said and then smiled at me. “How was your day so far?”

I hummed under my breath for a second before I shrugged. “It was fine.” Then, I scowled when I remembered Arthur and what had happened during Biology class. “Almost fine,” I added. Gwen looked at me from her book at that, her eyes wide as she tilted her head to the side, confused. 

“What happened?” Gwen asked. 

I sighed as I licked my lips, feeling irritated at just the thought of Arthur. “I got paired up with him in Biology class for the rest of the semester.”

Morgana immediately stopped eating, eyes wide. “Oh my God,” she breathed out. I rolled my eyes and huffed my breath, nodding at her. 

“I know,” I said, trying to keep myself from whining. Judging from the pitiful look Gwen was giving me, I most probably failed. 

“What is with you and Arthur meeting up like this lately?” Morgana asked, her voice almost accusatory. I looked at her and frowned. 

“What does that supposed to mean?” I asked, miffed. She rolled her eyes before she shoved another forkful of salad into her mouth. 

“Well,” she said as she swallowed her food. “It seems to me that ever since you started here, you and Arthur are always bumping into each other somehow, connected.”

“Look,” I said. “It’s not like I wanted to be— ‘connected’ to Arthur,” I continued with grimace. Gwen nodded at me, seeming to understand me. I eyed her and then looked at Morgana, nudging my chin at her. “She gets me.”

Morgana once more rolled her eyes but there was a fond smile on her lips. “Well,” she said. “Just, be careful around him, alright? It’s enough he has an ego the size of a mountain.” I blinked at her before I nodded, suspiciously. 

Something had been nagging at me ever since I realised Morgana got weird around Arthur. It was as if she knew Arthur personally, often mumbling things about Arthur that she thought I wouldn’t hear. I shifted on my chair, uncomfortable as my mind raced to put the puzzle pieces together. The conclusion I was drawing from this had me paling but what else could this be?

I cleared my throat, biting my lips as I looked at her. “Morgana,” I said. She looked at me from her salad, nodding once. “Don’t get me wrong but—…are you and Arthur dating?”

Morgana choked. 

Gwen scrambled to slap her back while I watched horrified as Morgana started to choke on her salad. “Water!” I exclaimed as I tried to look for the water bottle I bought. Before I could twist open the cap and hand the bottle to her, someone else had walked up to our table and slammed a water bottle in front of her. She didn’t hesitate to grab the opened bottle and swallowed the water, all the while Gwen was making sure she was fine. 

It was a few minutes before Morgana calmed down, breathing deeply as she coughed a bit. Her eyes were watery and I felt—guilty that I caused that. She then snapped her eyes to look at me, wide. 

“Seriously,” a voice said from where he stood next to Morgana. I looked at him and scooted my chairs backwards, realising that it was Arthur. My eyebrows raised when his blue eyes dug into mine, as if he was trying to burn me alive from inside. “Couldn’t you keep your stupidity to yourself for once and not try and kill her?”

“W—what?” I squawked, taken aback at his harshness. Morgana stood up, touching Arthur’s arm. 

“Really, like really, Morgana?” Arthur exclaimed, turning to look at her as he wretched his arm from her grasp. He was now glaring at her while Morgana glared at him back. “Him?”

“Thanks for the water, Arthur,” Morgana said. “But try not to act like a prat in front of him, can you?”

“Not you too,” Arthur mumbled, a pout almost formed on his lips. I just stood there, staring at their interaction, feeling lost and confused. Morgana rolled her eyes before she slapped her hand on Arthur’s arm and then—I saw the strangest thing happening, Morgana smiled at Arthur, a warm large smile. Arthur snorted but there was something—kind in his eyes too. 

It was obviously gone when he looked at me, replaced with coldness but I knew I saw it. “You better watch out. One more mistake with Morgana and I will make your life more miserable than it already is.”

“Arthur!” Morgana exclaimed, frowning. “Stop that, right now. Apologise.” 

Arthur didn’t listen to her, instead, he glared at me one last time and walked away, to where his friends were staring at our table from theirs. Arthur joined them and I watched him speak to them before they looked away, resuming whatever it was they did before they looked at our way. Morgana then looked at me, her shoulders slumped in defeat. 

“Sorry about him, Merlin,” she said. I opened my mouth and then closed, still stunned at what had happened. 

“So,” I started, voice cracking. Her eyes widened again before she shook her head, sitting down on her chair with a plop. 

“God, no!” she exclaimed, her voice loud. I was startled by her sudden admission. Gwen sighed, putting a hand on her shoulder and squeezed. “I should have told you this,” Morgana said after a while, a sad smile on her face. 

I frowned. 

“Told me…what?” I asked. 

Morgana then stood up, looking at me with a guilty look on her face. 

“Merlin, let’s go somewhere quiet. I have some things to tell you.”

I bit my inner cheek as I looked at her, confused and slightly irritated. With a slow nod, I stood up, my appetite long gone.

 

***

 

We were at the library, hidden in between shelves labeled X and Y. Nobody ever comes around these shelves, Morgana suggested, so here we were, sitting on the carpeted floor as I waited for Morgana to finish twiddling her thumb and look at me from her hands. 

After a minute, she took a deep breath and looked at me. “Okay, so,” she said. “Arthur—isn’t my boyfriend. Or—we don’t have any ties of that sort of manner—at all.” 

I nodded at her, accepting it without questioning. 

“Arthur is…,” she started and then stopped. “He’s my brother.”

My mind blanked at that. My breath hitched and my eyes widened. She looked away from me to her lap at that. 

“What?” I asked, even more confused. “Wait—what?”

“Arthur’s my brother,” Morgana repeated, this time, she sounded less scared. “Step-brother, if I’m being honest.”

“Step…brother,” I said, testing the words in my mouth. Then, I stared at her. 

“H—how?” I asked. “As far as I’m concerned…you’re not a Pendragon.”

“I’m not,” she agreed. “I’m still a Fay. Or a Le Fay. I’m adopted, Merlin. Uther—Arthur’s father—was close to my parents. When they died when I was little, he adopted me.”

I quietened, listening to her as she explained. “I’ve known you for so long,” I said, voice cracking as my heart ached. “You never once thought to tell me about it?”

“I was going to,” she said as her voice cracked. “When I moved away, that was when—”

“Your parents died and you got taken in by Uther,” I breathed out, realisation dawned on me. “Oh my God, Morgana.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, her eyes shimmering from the unshed tears. I shook my head as I gave her a weak smile. 

“You idiot,” I told her and got on my knees, scooting to her before enveloping her in a big hug. She immediately hugged me back, her face buried in my shoulder. “You idiot, you should have told me about this. Why didn’t you tell me about this? I’m your best friend, Morgana. Childhood musketeers and all that. What happened to that?”

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I was going to tell you. I was going to tell you this time too. I just never had the right chance. I’m sorry. I won’t keep anymore promises from you, I swear. This is the last one.”

I hugged her tighter. “You idiot,” I said. “I forgive you. Don’t do this again. I’m here now.”

“I know,” she said, her body shook a bit as she pulled herself away from me. I sighed as I stared her face, tears on her cheeks. I rubbed them away with my thumbs.

“It’s fine now, okay? Hey, look at this, now I can ask some blackmail on your—brother.” I made a face at that to which she laughed, touching my hands and squeezing them. 

“Thanks, Merlin,” she said and then gave a devilish wink. “Oh, I have tons of blackmail about Arthur.”

I laughed with her at that and we sat together in silence for a second. “Thanks for understanding, Merlin,” she said. I smiled at her. 

“I’m always here for you, Morgana.”

She smiled brightly at that. “Me too.”


	4. Football Practise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: So, here's the next chapter! It was fun writing this~ Or--rewriting this. I think I did a decent job. Not my best, but it was alright. Anyways, thanks to those who have commented, read, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Hope you guys like this chapter and let me know what you guys thought! Until next time~ -Krystal

 

 

The school bell rang once again as I stepped into my classroom with a sigh. I placed my book on one of the available desks and sat down on the chair carelessly. No one decided to pay attention to me—busy with their own stuff. I looked around the classroom as the students went on chattering. I suddenly felt lonely. 

It wasn’t like I wanted anyone to notice me, I was quite content like this. And yet—maybe I wanted to make friends after all. Biting my lips, I looked down on my book, staring at the cover. Just then, someone sat in front of me, placing their palms on my desk, startling me from my thoughts. 

It was Lancelot, smiling at me. I leaned back on my chair and smiled back at him. 

“Hey,” he said. I nodded at him and gave him a small wave. “We’re in the same class.”

“Yeah, I know,” I said, amused. His cheeks reddened and he gave me a sheepish smile. “I also noticed Arthur isn’t in this class.”

Lancelot sat on his own chair that was turned towards my desk. “Yeah,” he said. “But even if he’s here, I promise to keep him in check.”

I laughed, causing him to grin. “Thanks, Lancelot,” I said.

“No problem, mate,” he said. The teacher then walked into the classroom, effectively ending our short talk. “I’ll talk to you after class, okay?”

I nodded at him and he turned to face his own desk. We didn’t speak again until class ended. Lancelot hovered around me until I gathered my things and was ready to leave the classroom. “Are you—well—excited about being on our team?” Lancelot asked. I glanced at him and then gave him a humourless laugh.

“Lancelot,” I said. “I can’t kick a ball to save my life. What happened that day was just a fluke.”

Lancelot raised his eyebrows, following me out of the classroom. “You kicked that ball and hit Arthur, Merlin,” Lancelot said, his lips twitching into a smile. “That’s—that’s pretty cool.”

“Cool?” I said and then nodded once. “I guess. But talented? I suck, Lancelot. Seriously, you should have seen me when I was in my old school. I got last place. In everything sports related.”

Lancelot chuckled a bit and I rolled my eyes, even though I didn’t feel offended by him. “Mate, I think you’re going to be fine,” he said, placing a hand on my shoulder, squeezing tight. I relaxed under his assurance. “Besides, Coach is pretty understanding. He can train you too.”

“Really?” I asked. “Lancelot, just you wait and see. He’s going to kick me out the minute he sees me on the field.”

“Merlin,” Lancelot said and stopped walking, urging me to stop as well. I looked at him with a loud sigh. He smiled at me, warm and bright before he placed another hand on my other shoulder. “You’re going to be fine.”

I stared at him for a while before I smiled back, feeling the nervousness I didn’t know I was experiencing until now, leaving me. “Thanks, Lancelot,” I said and he took a step back, pulling his hands away from my shoulders. 

“I have to get to my next class,” Lancelot said. “I’ll see you soon, yeah?”

I couldn’t help but to smile wider at him for the obvious effort to become friends with me. “Sure,” I said and he beamed, looking happy. He waved and left as I watched him, amused. Shaking my head, I walked to my locker, exchanging my current textbooks for the books I needed for my next class. 

Just as I closed my locker door, I looked to my right and was startled to see Freya, leaning casually on her side to stare at me with wide eyes. “Boo,” she said, and then laughed when I continued to stare at her. 

“Freya,” I said, my brain caught up on the fact that there was someone here. I gave her a quick smile and rolled my eyes when she continued to giggle. “It wasn’t that funny.”

She took in a deep breath. “Sorry, I just saw you here and thought to come over and say hi.”

“Hi, Freya,” I said, smiling. “So, what class do you have now?”

“Physics,” she said as she raised her book to show me the cover. 

“Same,” I said and raised my own book. Her eyes brightened and she stood straighter. 

“We have the same class!” she said, a grin fitting on her face. I could feel my cheeks reddening when I realised how that smile made her look even prettier. It softened her features, showing off her lovely eyes. 

I cleared my throat, obviously embarrassed as I shyly nodded at her. “Let’s walk to class together,” I told her and she grinned wider at me. Before we knew it, we were walking to class, side by side, occasionally her fingers would brush against my palm. I felt my heart skip a beat and I didn’t know what to do beside the fact that when I glanced at her, she seemed to be looking right at me, as if she knew what I was feeling. 

I still listened to what she was talking about. How she was from this small town in England and she liked it a lot here. And she wished to be my friend and I—felt even shier. “Me too,” I told her. “I’d like to be your friend too, Freya.”

Her smile afterwards was dazzling and it took my breath away. When we entered the class together, I knew that my heart was beating fast. I touched my chest and tried to shake the thoughts away. Was I getting a crush on her? Someone I just met? 

I didn’t know but I didn’t like the idea very much. I haven’t even properly settled in this school yet. I pushed myself to take a deep breath and calm myself down, smiling when Freya patted an empty seat next to her, her eyes shimmering in happiness.

 

***

 

Recess rolled around quickly and I was walking to the school’s backyard where Morgana wanted me to meet her. Out of nowhere though, a hand touched my shoulder and stopped me from walking any further. Surprised, I turned around, sighing when I saw Lancelot, looking flushed in embarrassment. 

“Oops,” he said and scratched the back of his neck. I rolled my eyes, smiling at him. 

“Someone’s happy to see me,” I teased. Lancelot laughed and shrugged. 

“What can I say, mate?” he said. “You’re a pretty cool lad.”

“Pulling out all stops, eh?” I asked but Lancelot only smirked. 

“Anyway, that isn’t why I’m here though,” he said and then frowned a little. “It’s about the football practise. It starts today. Arthur and Coach decided on it just a few hours ago.”

I blinked at the news. “What? Wait—isn’t that too sudden? I thought it starts next week?”

Lancelot nodded. “But Arthur thought it’ll be a good idea to start training early for the first match,” Lancelot said before he grinned. “Let’s just say our first match isn’t going to be a pretty one if we don’t start now.”

Confused, I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“We’re up against our arch-nemesis for our first match,” Lancelot explained. I chuckled as realisation dawned on me. “We gotta boost up our game.”

“ _Right_ ,” I drawled. “What time does practise start?”

“After school,” Lancelot said. “Do you want me to show you where to go?”

I hesitated to answer him, scrunching my nose when I recalled of Morgana. “Nah,” I said. “I think Morgana is going to follow me to practise.”

“Ah,” Lancelot said and then smiled. “Alright then, Merlin. I’ll see you around, eh?”

“See ya,” I said and watched him jog away. 

I sighed as I walked to the backyard, immediately spotting Gwen and Morgana already sitting under one of the large trees. I walked towards them and slumped on the ground in front of Morgana. 

“Hey,” Morgana said. 

“Hi,” I said and looked over to what Morgana had brought in her tupperware today. It looked like sandwiches, finger sandwiches to be exact. “Very British,” I said and Morgana snorted. 

“Here, I made some for you,” Morgana said as she handed her tupperware to me. 

“Morgana,” I said, cooing at her. She rolled her eyes and shoved the box against my chest. Wincing at the slight pain, I took one of the sandwiches and shoved it into my mouth, eyes widening as I tasted it. “This tastes so good!”

Morgana preened under the compliment, smiling widely before she nudged Gwen to take some too. “Thanks,” she said. “It’s my speciality.”

“It tastes wonderful,” I said. Her cheeks reddened but it was obvious she was proud of her sandwiches. I indulged in a few more sandwiches before I got full and patted my stomach. Gwen giggled and smiled at Morgana, thanking her for the sandwiches. “Oh, yeah, have you heard?”

“Heard what?” Morgana asked as she finished up the last remaining sandwich and closed her tupperware. 

“The football practise, it starts today,” I said. Morgana stopped moving before she looked at me, her eyebrows furrowing. 

“Huh,” she said. “Why? I thought it’ll start next week?”

“Thought so too but Lancelot said that Arthur wanted to start training early,” I said, frowning. “Something about our first match is against the ‘arch-nemesis’?”

Morgana’s eyes widened and she bit her bottom lip, almost as if she was trying not to laugh as realisation dawned on her. “Ah, I know what they’re talking about,” she said. I raised my eyebrows at her but she only shook her head, chuckling a bit. “Trust me, you don’t want to know… _yet_.”

I glanced at Gwen, who only shrugged at me. “You’ll see,” she said. I gave them a flat look. 

“Great,” I said. Morgana huffed, amused. 

“So, I guess I’ll show you the field after class,” she said and I nodded. 

“I have to call Mum later and tell her I’ll be home late,” I said. 

“How did she take the news about you going to be a football player?” Gwen asked. 

“Ecstatic,” I said and Morgana smiled, her eyes shimmering in mirth. 

“You’re not going to last even a day out in the field,” Morgana said as she mock sighed, touching her chest and shaking her head. “I’ll let your Mum know that you love her.”

“Piss off,” I told her and earned giggles from the girls. I cracked a smile at them.

 

***

 

Morgana walked beside me as we headed to the football field. I was actually nervous now that school was over and practise was about to start. I bit my bottom lip, glancing at Morgana once in a while. She noticed my staring and gave me a smile, bemused. 

“I’m right here,” she said as she nudged me. “You got nothing to fear about.”

“My shining knight in armour,” I joked and she slapped my arm. “That hurts!”

“Stop being cheeky,” she said as she showed her tongue. I chuckled and showed her my tongue as well, feeling like we were back to when we were kids. 

“But seriously,” I said as I frowned. She raised her eyebrows, nodding once, encouraging me to continue talking. “I’m gonna suck.”

“Well,” she said and then shrugged. “Sorry, can’t really comfort you there, Merlin.”

I laughed, feeling less nervous when she cracked a grin at me, waggling her eyebrows the only way Morgana could do. “You’re such a dork,” I said and she chuckled. 

“You love me anyway,” she said and I scrunched my nose. 

“Do I?” I asked, feigning surprise. She frowned and stopped walking to look at me, hands on her hips. I stopped as well, raisingboth of my hands in the air. 

“You better say you love me, Merlin,” she said, letting her voice fall in a way that it was clear she had athreat behind her words. But she wasn’t serious about it, not when her eyes shimmered in amusement. I cleared my throat and dropped my hands to my sides, looking away and then glancing at her. She furrowed her eyebrows when I took a small step forward. “What…what are you doing?”

“Hey,” I said, making my voice go breathless. She stared at me, a blank look on her face, unaffected by the small distance between us. I held back a grin at that and said, “I love you.”

Her cheeks reddened and then she slapped my shoulder before she pushed me away, causing me to stumble backwards. I laughed when she scowled at me. “That’s mean of you, Merlin,” she said. “You looked like a toad acting like that.”

I stopped laughing immediately and looked at her, a blank look on my face this time. “Fuck you,” I said and she snorted, a silly smile on her face, causing me to smile back at her. 

“Come on,” she said as she shook her head. “Let’s go.”

With a deep breath, I nodded and we continued walking to where the field was. When we arrived in front of two large doors, Morgana pushed open one of the doors open and walked inside, followed by me. Immediately, I was in awe as I took in how big the field was. 

“Woah,” I said. She stopped walking down the stairs heading to the field and turned to look at me, winking at me when I pointed at the field. 

“A wet dream for footie players,” she said and shrugged. With that said, she jabbed a thumb over her shoulders, cocking her hips to one side. “And speaking of them, there they are.”

I walked to where she was standing and looked at the field where the players were gathered, wearing their football shorts and jersey. I sighed as I glanced at Morgana and back at the field. “Here I go,” I said. Morgana placed a hand on my arm and squeezed, giving me an encouraging smile. 

“You can do this,” she said. I was thankful for her at the moment and nodded once. With that, I walked down the steps until I reached the field, unsure of who to talk to first before I decided I should tell Arthur that I was here. He was my Captain after all. 

The thought made me grimace. 

It was easy to spot the blond prat, especially when he was in the centre of a crowd. I glanced at Morgana and she was sitting at the bleachers, elbows on her legs and face framed on her hands. I looked back at the crowd and then began to walk through them, trying to get to Arthur. 

I hesitated when I reached him, his back facing me as he was talking to someone. With a deep breath, I poked his shoulder, taking a small step backwards when he turned around to look at me, irritation immediately covered his face. 

“Oh, you came,” he said, his voice flippant. 

I rolled my eyes and nodded. “Here I am,” I said, just as unhappy. He huffed his breath and ran his fingers through his messy blond hair. His blue eyes dragged down from my face to the bottom of my feet, causing me to shift my weight from one foot to the other, embarrassed—for reasons unknown. “What?” I snapped. 

“Why are you in your school uniform?” he asked, sounding a bit confused. I furrowed my eyebrows. 

“I won’t be getting my—whatever outfit you lot are wearing—until next week,” I said, miffed. “You know, when practise is _supposed_ to start?”

Arthur frowned, crossing his arms against his chest. He then looked around the small crowd that was staring at us and waved. “Go on, stretch before Coach gets here.”

The crowd dispersed easily, leaving Arthur and I alone. I took another step backwards, just to give some distance between us. Arthur noticed that and narrowed his eyes. “Right, but you’re still training,” Arthur said, his voice full of authority. 

It made me irritated even more. I didn’t like how Arthur was ordering me around even if I knew he had every right. 

“ _Right_ ,” I scoffed. Arthur raised his eyebrows, dropping his hands to his sides. He took a step forward, his shoulders straight as if he was trying to tower me. And with the way he was built, I knew he would if he was given the chance. 

“Don’t take a tone with me, Mer _lin_ ,” he said, mocking me at the same time. 

I knew I was being a bit childish when I glared at him, but I couldn’t help it. Arthur, no matter what he did, hackled my chains. I crossed my arms against my chest and looked away. “Whatever,” I muttered. Arthur sighed then and took a step back. I glanced at him and bit my inner cheek in confusion when his eyes were no longer on me, but on Morgana who was busy looking around the field from where she sat. 

“Morgana brought you here?” Arthur asked, eyes flitting back on me. I stared at him for a while before I nodded, cautious. Arthur scowled, his eyebrows furrowed deep and a look of displeasure crossed his face. “What does she even see in you? _You_!”

“W—what?” I asked. Then, the tone settled into my mind and I scoffed. “ _Excuse_ me?”

“Oh, don’t look at me like that,” Arthur said as he waved his hand at my face. “Just _look_ at you.”

“Arthur,” I growled and Arthur took a step back, eyes flashing as he raised his hands in the air, waving them mockingly. 

“I’m _so_ scared,” he said and then barked out a harsh laugh. “Go and put your stuff on the bleachers and run some laps.”

Before I could retort back, Arthur glared at me. 

“ _Go_ ,” he ordered me, his tone sharp and cold, filled with authority that it sent shivers down my spine. My cheeks reddened, feeling flustered. In effort to hide the sudden weirdness I was feeling, I rolled my eyes and stormed away to the bleachers. Morgana eyed me and gave me a tentative smile when I sighed, dropping my bag next to her. 

“He’s a royal pain in the arse,” I bit out and Morgana chuckled. 

“I’ll keep an eye out,” she said, assuring me. 

I smiled at her before I pulled off my jacket and placed it next to her as well. With that, I unbuttoned my sleeves and rolled them to my elbows. 

“I gotta go do some laps,” I said, feeling sick at just the thought of running. Morgana laughed a bit before she gave me two thumbs up. 

I walked back to the field and was about to start running when a girl came up to me, followed by two boys. They didn’t wear the football jersey or pants, instead they were wearing what I recognised as cheerleading clothes. I had seen some of the students wore this uniform to class before. 

“You must be Morgana’s new play thing,” she said, rudely. She swished her dirty blond hair that was tied in a pony tail around. I gave her a deadpanned look as the words registered in my mind. She smirked, her lips quirked smugly like she was ready to see me cry. I raised my eyebrows, unaffected. 

“Sorry, do I know you?” I asked. 

“Ah, no,” she said. “But I know Morgana—and I know you’re her new toy.”

I frowned at her blatant display of rudeness. 

“Look at him acting all clueless and shit,” a voice said from behind me. I turned to look and came face to face to a tall boy. His lips were stretched wide, showing off his almost sharp teeth. His eyes glinted in an uncomfortable way, his gaze dragging down my body. It made me feel slimy, nothing like how Arthur had made me feel when he looked at me like that just moments ago.Judging from what he wore, he seemed to be on the team as well. _Great_. I took a cautious step backwards, defensive at them. “Can’t say I don’t get why Morgana chose him though. Besides the horrific ears, he’s tolerable to look at.”

“E—Excuse me?” I said, stunned at his words. “What the hell?”

“Ah, a potty mouth too,” the girl said. 

“You know what, I’m gonna leave. So, if you guys are done,” I said and was about to walk away when the boy grabbed my shoulder, his grip tight and spun me around to look at him. I stumbled a bit and immediately glared at him, pulling my shoulder away from his hands. “Don’t touch me,” I growled. 

The boy took a step closer. “Easily pissed off, eh?” he said and then he touched my ears, flicking his fingers on it. I flinched and slapped his hands away from them. His smirk dropped and before I knew it, he grabbed my collar and dragged me close. My breath hitched when our faces were close. “Look here, we have a fighter.”

“Cenred,” I heard the girl speak. 

“What the fuck is going on here?” Morgana said as she stormed over, pushing the girl away a bit. “What—Cenred, put him down!”

“Nah,” Cenred said as he tightened his grip on my collar, almost choking me. “It seems that your new boyfriend doesn’t have any manners.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think manners apply for arseholes like yourself,” I choked back, my mouth running off before I could even think about it. Before I knew it, I was pushed back and a punch landed on my face, causing me to stumble backwards and land on my back on the grass. 

I heard a scream but I couldn’t look at who it was that screamed, not when my face hurt like hell and I was groaning in pain on the ground. I didn’t have to touch my lips to know that I have a busted lip. Tears gathered in my eyes as the pain was now accompanied by a headache. There was a short ringing noise in my head before it disappeared. 

Just then I felt hands touching my shoulders and slowly making me sit down. I chocked back a whimper when a hand touched my cheek. I winced and opened my eyes, taking in a sharp breath when I saw Lancelot crouching in front of me, worried, his hand in the air to touch my face again. 

I slapped his hand away, frowning. “Hurts,” I whispered. 

“What the _hell_ are you doing?” I heard Arthur yelling. I looked away from Lancelot and the rest who stayed surrounding me to where Arthur was standing in front of Cenred, his face red, his hands bawled into fists at his sides, jaw clenched, anger rolling off him like waves. “What the _fuck_ do you think you’re doing assaulting a member of this team?”

Cenred paled for a second before he scoffed. “ _What_? That big ears is the new member I heard so much about?” he asked, almost laughing but then stopped when Arthur glared at him. “Are you fucking kidding me? You let that scrawny thing on the team?”

“Back down, Cenred,” Arthur said, his voice low, menacing. “He didn’t do anything to you.”

“No? You know what, Arthur? Fuck you,” Cenred hissed. “You’re a fucking lousy Captain, allowing useless members on the team. We’re going to lose because of you!”

“Enough!” Arthur said, silencing him. “Leave. You’re dismissed for today. I’ll let Coach know what you did when he gets here.”

“Are you,” Cenred started and then glared right back at Arthur before his eyes left him and landed on me. I squirmed under his hateful gaze and then growled. “You’re picking him over me?”

“You assaulted him, Cenred,” Arthur said. “I don’t tolerate bullies. _Leave_. You’re done for today. Don’t come back until Coach decided what to do with you.”

“Fuck you, all of you!” Cenred yelled and stormed off. Morgana was glaring at Cenred as well before her eyes landed on the girl, who only rolled her eyes and followed Cenred, her team following behind her. Morgana sighed before she looked at me and then rushed towards where I was, crouching down next to Lancelot. 

“Merlin,” she breathed out. “God, that looks bad.”

I winced when her fingers grazed the spot where I got hit. “Don’t,” I told her and she dropped her hand. Arthur walked towards us and then pushed Lancelot and Morgana away with a soft nudge on their shoulders. He then crouched in front of me, this time, his eyes weren't filled with anger or hate. It was just curious and maybe— _worried_?

“Go to the nurse’s office,” Arthur said, his voice soft. 

My immediate response was a shake of my head. It was an automatic response, from the times when I was bullied back in my old school. Arthur frowned. “Don’t be stupid, Merlin,” he said. “Come on, Morgana will bring you to the office.”

“No,” I said as I pushed myself to stand up, balancing myself before I took a deep breath. “I’m fine.”

Arthur looked at me like I lost my marbles. “What the fuck are you doing?” he asked as he slowly stood up, small traces of frustration creeping into his eyes. “Merlin, there’s going to be a huge bruise on your face and you don’t want to get it checked out?”

I knew I shouldn’t be acting so defensive, but I was tired. I was sick of being targeted all the time. Why was it always me who got beat up and bullied? I was confused as well with Arthur. He was another bully, just like Cenred. “Oh, shut up!” I yelled, startling Arthur. “I’m fine. Don’t act like you care all of a sudden!”

He took a step forward, his jaw clenched tight. “You’re my teammate, you bloody idiot,” he hissed, his eyes flashing. “I take care of my teammates no matter how much of an idiot they are. Go to the nurse’s office.”

“Like I will!” I said, clenching my fingers into a ball. “I don’t have to listen to you!”

“You will,” he said, menacingly. “Or else I’m going to suspend you off the team.”

I stared at him, mouth hanging open in shock. “You can’t do that!” I said. 

He rolled his eyes, his patience obviously running out.

“Arthur,” Lancelot said. 

“No, he’s going to the nurse’s office to get that bloody checked out and he’s not coming back until he does. In fact, consider this your first warning. Should I tell the Coach you picked a fight?”

“Fuck you,” I breathed out. “You big prat!”

“Me?” he asked, bitter. “I wasn’t the one who got punched in the face, Merlin!”

“And I wasn’t the one who asked for it, either. It’s my face!” I said. 

“Back off,” he growled. I didn’t back off, instead, I took a step forward and got into his face. His blue eyes grew sharper. “I said, back off, Merlin.”

“Or what?” I snapped. 

Before I knew it, I was on the ground, Arthur straddling my legs and pinning me down, a hand wrapping around my collar. Fear immediately coiled at the pit of my stomach and it made me struggle as I flailed my hands around, trying to hit him, scratch him, do anything. Arthur looked even more irritated before he growled again and caught my wrists, slamming them down on the ground over my head. 

I felt weak, vulnerable, laid out like that underneath Arthur and my breath hitched when Arthur pushed his body against mine, immobilising me. He leaned down, his face inches away from mine. “Listen,” he started, voice harsh. “I’m the Captain here. When I tell you something, you do it. I’m not asking you to jump off a bridge, I’m asking you to get it checked out, you idiot.”

“You don’t care,” I said, my voice trembled a bit and I bit my bottom lip. 

Arthur went quiet at that as he stared at me, his eyes searching my face before he sighed, loosening his grip on my wrists and yet, I didn’t dare to move it out of his grip, the fear still alive in my chest. 

“I care for my teammates,” Arthur said. “Whether or not we get along outside of this, that’s a different matter to me. In here, I care for you just as I care for everyone else.”

I looked away from him and Arthur got off of me. He rubbed the back of his neck, taking in a few deep breaths. “So, get up and get that checked out. You’re dismissed from this practise. I’ll see you tomorrow.”

This time, I didn’t fight back, not when Morgana came to my side and helped me to stand up, looking at me with her worried green eyes. Arthur didn’t look at me anymore as he ushered his teammates to continue their workout, joining them a second later when he looked at Morgana and shared an eye contact with her. 

I looked at Arthur’s retreating back, feeling the fear leaving and my heart racing against my chest when what had happened slammed into my brain, with how I was underneath his heavy weight, how warm he felt and how blue Arthur’s eyes were, clouded with worry and irritation. My face flushed red and I looked at Morgana, who nudged me to start walking. 

“God, Cenred is a dick,” Morgana breathed out. “Thank God Arthur was around.”

“He does that often?” I asked Morgana. She seemed to think I was taking about Cenred and she nodded, frowning. A second later, Morgana patted my shoulder. 

“Arthur isn’t bad actually,” Morgana said. “He’s just emotionally constipated. But he cares. If he doesn’t care, he wouldn’t have helped.”

I didn’t acknowledge her but I felt my face flushing even more. “Thanks, Morgana,” I said. “Tell Arthur thanks to—for…doing that. I shouldn’t have fought back. He’s right.”

Morgana smiled at me. 

I grabbed my things and followed her out of the field, feeling weird in my chest. It was a strong feeling but it wasn’t bad. I didn’t know what to think about it, so I didn’t. Maybe Arthur wasn’t that bad after all. Maybe when they were practising, Arthur could be a decent prat. 

Guilt gnawed at the back of my mind. I shouldn’t have talked back. I promised to myself then that I would try a bit harder to not let Arthur rile me up easily next time, not when he was doing it for my own good. The short moment I experience with Arthur looking at me worriedly, I realised that Arthur could be a different person underneath that horrible first meeting and arrogance. 

Just—maybe. 


	5. Like? Love?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Here you guys go~ I had so much fun re-writing this chapter. It's actually one of my favourite chapters throughout the story. There's like two more chapters that I really liked writing so I'm a bit excited to re-write those chapters when the time comes. Also, this chapter does contain weirdcreepy!Cenred acting all weird and creepy. Still a bully but there's like one two lines of him being a creeper. Does that warrant a warning or something? I'm not sure, but if it does, do let me know and I'll add it as a warning at the beginning of this chapter. 
> 
> Otherwise, thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, gave this story kudos and bookmarked this story! I hope you guys like this chapter and let me know what you guys thought! Until next chapter~ -Krystal

 

When my mum picked me up after the disaster that was the first practise, she was startled to see the bruise on my face. She had gotten upset when I told her what happened but then sighed when she heard that Morgana, Arthur and everyone else had defended me. 

“You tell me if he ever does this again,” my mum said, stern. “I will not tolerate bullies, Merlin. No more of this nonsense.”

“I promise, Mum,” I told her, trying to assure her that I was fine. 

Now, sitting on my seat for the first class of the day to start, my face was numb. I didn’t feel like smiling or talking. I was sure the bruise had gotten worse instead of better. 

A boy then stood in front of my table. He was tall and had broad shoulders. When I looked at him, he had a soft smile on his face. I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. 

“Hey,” the boy said as he took the desk in front of me. “How’s your cheek?”

I shrugged at him. “Bad,” I said. 

“It looks a bit better though,” the boy said. He seemed to notice my confusion before he chuckled. “I’m Percival. I’m your teammate.”

“Oh,” I said, surprised. “Nice to meet you, Percival.”

Percival beamed. “Cenred is just like that,” Percival said. “He’s always been a pain in the neck. No one really likes him.”

“Well,” I said. “I can see why.”

Percival gave me a pitiful look. “Don’t worry, he won’t come near you again.”

I raised my eyebrows at him. Percival nodded at me. 

“Arthur will make sure it won’t happen again,” Percival said in a mean of explanation. I furrowed my eyebrows again. 

“Sure, he stopped the fight yesterday,” I said, words pronounced slowly so I didn’t hurt my cheek even more. “But we still don’t like each other.”

Percival hummed under his breath. “Arthur never disliked anyone before,” Percival said. He looked at me before he smiled, brightly. “Maybe he’ll come around with you.”

I snorted. “Sure,” I said in a tone that it was clear I was humouring him. Percival looked amused instead ofbeing offended. 

“Lance would vouch he’s a good guy,” Percival said. 

“Lancelot,” I said. “seems like the type of guy who sees good in everything and everyone.”

“He is,” Percival said. And from the way in which happy this boy was, it seemed like Lancelot wasn’t the only one who saw everything positively. “He’s the optimist in our team.”

“What about you?” I asked. “The secret weapon?”

Percival tossed his head back and laughed. I found myself smiling at that, at how innocent Percival seemed, so child-like. It was refreshing to see that in a teenager our age. 

“Nah,” Percival said with a shrug of his own. 

“Don’t believe anything he says,” a voice said as a hand slapped on Percival’s shoulder. Lancelot appeared behind Percival, a charming grin on his face before he moved to stand next to the boy. “He’s one of the best goal keepers we have.”

Percival blushed, looking flustered. “No, I mean,” Percival began and then stopped when Lancelot laughed. 

“He is,” Lancelot said before he looked at me properly. He winced when he took in how I looked. “That looks quite…bad.”

“Lancelot,” Percival said, almost looking scandalised. I felt myself smiling again at that. 

“What?” Lancelot said, looking chastised, his cheeks flushing. I laughed a bit and shook my head, gritting my teeth when I felt pain on my cheek. 

“I know,” I said, giving Lancelot a tight smile from the pain. “Sorry, boys. I think I would like to keep silent now. And not move my face. It hurts.”

Percival nodded, understandingly meanwhile Lancelot gave Merlin a sad look. “God, Cenred’s a wanker,” Lancelot said. It startled a choked laugh from Percival and I couldn’t help but to bite my inner cheek from smiling as well. 

“You don’t say,” Percival said. 

They continued to talk for a few more minutes, occasionally looking at me to include me in the conversation. My heart warmed at how friendly they were being. It made me feel less lonely the more they talked and laughed, nudging me at times. When the teacher had walked in, they went to their desks but kept close by me and by the time class was over, we walked out of the classroom together. For the first time in a while, it felt good to be friends with someone. 

With an arm slung on my shoulder by Lancelot, and Percival on my other side, we continued on to our next class.

 

***

 

I spotted Morgana and Gwen easily at the cafeteria. I walked towards them and took a seat in front of them. Morgana looked at me, beaming widely before she bit her bottom lip when her green eyes landed on the bruise on my face. I sighed, shrugging at her. Gwen had even looked at me, her eyes widened in horror. 

“Morgana wasn’t kidding,” Gwen breathed out, shock in her voice. 

I nodded once before taking the tupperware of food that Morgana had made for me. 

“It’s all Cenred’s fault,” Morgana bit out, bitterly. She took a large chomp of an apple. I flinched at how big the bite was. The apple looked mangled already. 

“Morgouse is such a bully,” Gwen said, annoyed. “She and her friends. Can’t they stop picking on people they deem less than them?”

“That’s not coded in their DNAs apparently,” Morgana said as she waved her hand at me. “Just look what they did to the new kid. Merlin didn’t even do anything!”

“I might’ve mouthed off a bit,” I said. 

“You’ve always had a mouth on you,” Morgana said, her eyebrows furrowing as she pinned me with a serious stare. “You do realise that this isn’t your fault, right? That you didn’t deserve that bruise on your face?”

“Yes, of course I know that!” I said, alarmed that she came to that conclusion. “I’m not a martyr.”

Morgana stared at me for a second longer before she nodded and went back to eating her apple. “Morgouse thinks she owns this school just because she’s popular and head of the cheerleading team.”

I frowned a bit. “She’s the girl from yesterday?” I asked, recalling of the girl with dirty blond hair tied in a ponytail. Morgana nodded with a disgusted look on her face. 

“For some reason,” Gwen said as she chewed on her pasta. “She hates Morgana.”

“She thought I stole her boy toy,” Morgana said. “Not my fault her boy fell for me. Hell, I didn’t even know the boy existed until he came up to me and said he wants to go out with me.”

“That was like what—three years ago?” Gwen said, furrowing her eyebrows. 

“So, I’m dragged into this mess because of you then?” I joked. Morgana only scoffed. 

“Just ignore her, Merlin,” Morgana said. “Meanwhile, I’ll make sure Arthur knows that if anything happens to you because of Cenred, he will have hell to pay.”

I felt my heart swelling at the obvious protectiveness in her voice. “Morgana,” I said and she looked at me, her face softening. 

“You’re my best friend, Merlin,” she said. “You mean a lot to me.”

“You too,” I croaked out, feeling touched.

Just then, Gwen looked behind me, her eyebrows furrowing before a small frown on her face. “Merlin,” she said, catching my attention. “Do you know her? She looks like she’s trying to get your attention.”

I immediately looked over my shoulder and felt a smile creeping on my face when I realised it was Freya. She seemed hesitant but when our eyes locked, she relaxed and a bright smile appeared on her face. With a wave, she walked towards my table, hands gripping her tray of food. 

“Hey,” I said as I stood up. Freya grinned as she stood in front of me. 

“Hi,” she said. Her eyes left my face to look at Morgana and Gwen, her cheeks reddening before she looked back at me. She bit her bottom lip, shuffling her weight from one foot to the other. “I just thought to come over and say hi.”

Her cheeks reddened a bit more and I almost melted at how cute she was being. My own face started to pink as I looked at her. Morgana cleared her throat and slammed a hand on the table, jolting me out from my thoughts. Freya had even looked at her shocked, her eyes wide. 

“Hello,” Morgana said, her voice sweet and her eyes kind. “Sit down! You a friend of Merlin’s?”

“Ah,” Freya said as she took Morgana’s invitation and sat down. I sat down next to her, looking a bit worried when I saw the look on Gwen and Morgana’s faces.“Yes, I am.”

“Well, a friend of Merlin’s is a friend of ours,” Morgana said. 

“I didn’t know you made a new friend, Merlin,” Gwen said, smiling. Her eyes twinkled as well as she shared a look with Morgana. I squinted my eyes at them, trying to figure out just what they were trying to do. Freya looked a bit nervous and I felt bad for her for a second. 

“Guys,” I said, disapproval dripping from my tone. 

“Oh, come on!” Morgana finally exclaimed. “You met a girl and you didn’t even tell us?”

“ _Morgana_!” I said, mortified, as my face reddened. Freya though, stared at Morgana for a second before she laughed, a small giggle to be exact. My heart stuttered in my chest as her laughter rang in my ears. It was such a nice laugh. Gwen threw me knowing looks from across the table and I rolled my eyes at her. 

“That’s one way to break the ice,” Freya quipped, earning amused looks from Gwen and Morgana. 

“How did you meet Merlin?” Gwen asked, deciding to start a conversation with her. 

“Oh, I knocked him down by accident,” Freya said. 

“Not really, I was the one who ran into her,” I said, defending her. 

Morgana raised her eyebrows at me, a cheeky smile on her face when she looked back at Freya. My cheeks flushed again, flustered. 

“Still, it was partially my fault too,” Freya said as she glanced at me. 

“I still take responsibility for it,” I said. Freya chuckled. 

“I never seen you before though,” Gwen said. 

Freya nodded. “I’m a new student,” she said. 

“Oh,” Morgana said. “Well, welcome to Camelot High then!”

Freya beamed at Morgana. “Thank you. Uh,” she started and then stopped when she stared at Morgana and looked at Gwen. “I don’t know your names though.”

“Oops,” Morgana said with a laugh. “I’m Morgana and this is Gwen.” 

Gwen waved small at Freya. 

“I’m Freya,” Freya said. 

“It’s nice to meet you,” Gwen said. I smiled a bit and continued to eat when Morgana started to talk to Freya, Gwen joining in the conversation and before I knew it, the girls had begun planning on hanging out together. When they finally dragged me into the conversation, I was giddy from feeling like I had the best friends on the planet. And judging from how happy Freya looked, I felt like she might be feeling the same way too. 

Freya glanced at me once and gave me a secret smile, her cheeks flushing and her eyes twinkling and my heart skipped a beat at that. At the end, I smiled back at her and looked down to the now empty tupperware.

 

***

 

“Your friends are really nice,” Freya said as we walked together. I smiled at that. 

“They are,” I agreed. “Morgana especially. We’re childhood friends.”

“Oh,” Freya said, nodding. “She has a strong personality. I like her. And Gwen too.”

“I’m glad,” I said. “I didn’t think I would find them here, but I’m lucky to have them as my friends.”

Freya gave me a soft smile. After that, it was just comfortable silence between us and I didn’t start up a new conversation to break it.

“Merlin!” A voice called out from behind me just then. I stopped walking, shoulders tensing when I recognised that voice immediately. Taking in a deep breath, I turned around, shooting a glance at Freya who looked back at me with a confused look on her face. 

There he was, Arthur, jogging towards us before he stopped in front of me. 

“You’re bloody hard to find when I need you,” Arthur said. I frowned, tilting my head to the side a bit. 

“Why?” I asked, confused. Arthur though continued to stare at me for a while before he frowned. He took a step forward and squinted his eyes. I felt a bit uncomfortable under his gaze and shifted my weight from one foot to the next, looking away from him. “Arthur?”

“Did you even go to the nurse’s office?” Arthur asked, sounding annoyed. I furrowed my eyebrows and looked back at him. I almost took a step back from how intense the blue eyes were, filled with traces of anger and—was that _worry_? 

“Yeah, I did,” I said, trying to keep my tone neutral. He didn’t look pleased like I expected, instead, he looked downright upset. “Uh, is there a reason you’re looking for me?”

Arthur managed to pry his eyes away from the bruise on my face to look at me in the eyes. He then sighed and said, “You’re coming to the football practise today, aren’t you?”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “Thought I was not allowed to?” I asked, sarcasm dripping off my tone. His eyes narrowed and he took a small step forward. 

“You _will_ be if you don’t show up today, Merlin,” he sneered. Then, his eyes landed on Freya, freezing for a second as if he hadn’t realised that someone else was here the entire time. Freya, on the other hand, had taken a step backwards. 

“I think I should leave,” Freya said. I nodded at her and with a wave, she left. I watched her leave before I turned to look at Arthur, and stilled when I saw Arthur glaring at me. His eyes were filled with anger, and they were aimed at me. His jaw tightened and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. 

“Don’t tell me you were cheating on Morgana, Merlin?” Arthur said, his voice low. I took a step back just in case as I stared at him.

The words slowly registered in my mind and when they did, I screeched, loud and high-pitched in shock. I slapped a hand on my mouth, eyes wide. Arthur frowned and took a step back, staring at me like I had gone crazy. 

“Are you out of your _bloody mind_?” I exclaimed. “I’m not—I’m _not_ dating _Morgana_!” I spluttered for a bit. “I mean, she’s like my sister. Oh _eww_ , no, oh God. What the hell?” 

I didn’t think people thought I was really her boyfriend. I thought they were just saying it jokingly or as an insult, like what Morgouse had said yesterday. Just the thought of it made me slightly ill. I had only seen her as my sister. I shuddered at the thought of being anything more with her. 

Arthur frowned even more. Then, his eyes widened and his cheeks flushed red as he realised what I said. 

“You’re…not?” Arthur said. I shook my head, embarrassment seeping into my veins at this misunderstanding. Was that why Arthur was especially annoying whenever Morgana was around me? We just stood there and continued to look at each other until Arthur cleared his throat, running a hand through his hair. He fidgeted for a second and nodded once. “Right. Well, whatever. Make sure you’re at practise.”

“I thought you would be happy if I didn’t come,” I murmured, still too flustered at this revelation, not expecting Arthur to hear it. 

“I will _end you_ if you don’t show up,” Arthur said, startling me. “Don’t be a girl and show up.” 

Before I could retort, he had turned around and walked away. I scoffed in disbelief at what just happened. First, he seemingly had gone on a hunting trip to find me just to tell me to show up to practise. Which by the way, was weird itself and then next, he got angry that I was ‘cheating’ on Morgana even though we weren’t even dating. 

Was Arthur always like this? One minute he looked like he cared, and the next he turned it around and became my enemy. What happened to ‘I care for all my teammates’ bullshit? I bit my bottom lip and crossed my arms against my chest. 

Arthur was confusing as heck.

 

***

 

Football practise was like Hell created for me. _Just for me._

I sighed as I hesitated to change into my jersey shirt and shorts that Coach had given to me earlier today. Apparently, I didn’t have to wait until next week for them. I could only smile at my Coach, hoping I didn’t look like I was about keel over and die. 

I bit my lip as I stared at the mirror located against the inner door of my changing locker. I had my shirt off but I wasn’t ready to pull my trousers off and change yet. I frowned at how small I looked. Huh, I should gain some weight. I looked like a skeleton. With a deeper frown, I wore my jersey, cringing at how I looked smaller than before in them. 

Lancelot and Percival as well as some of the team members had long left me alone in the changing room, patting my back with an assuring smile. I felt a bit relaxed as I remembered their happy supportive faces. It would be fine, I told myself. There were still two or three more members of the team changing into their shirts and shorts, waving at me once they were done before they left as well, leaving me all alone in the room.

Just as I changed into my shorts and folding my clothes up to be placed into the locker, someone spoke, startling me. 

“How did you end up on the team anyway?” a familiar voice said, sneering at me. I turned around to look at Cenred, who was leaning against the locker opposite of me, arms crossed. 

I opened my mouth and then closed it, deciding that it would be for the best if I ignored him. So, I turned my back facing him and continued folding my clothes. 

“Are you listening, big ears?” Cenred said, mocking me. I rolled my eyes and kept my mouth shut, not wanting the repeat of yesterday. Before I could comprehend what was happening, Cenred grabbed my shoulder and turned me around, slamming me against the lockers next to mine. I grunted as pain shot down my spine, my shoulders digging against the metal knobs. 

I glared at Cenred, who only grinned, maliciously and stepped closer, the grip on my shoulders tightening. How was he even here? I thought he was suspended until further notice?

“What do you want?” I bit out, annoyed and in pain. Cenred grinned wider, shark-like and dark. It sent cold shivers down my spine and made me feel very uncomfortable. I tried to wriggle out of his grasp but stopped when he slammed my back against the lockers once more. 

I bit my bottom lip from gasping as the back of my head thumped against the locker harshly. 

“Did you think just because you got people defending you, you’d be safe?” Cenred asked. “Listen here, big ears. I know about your scholarship and I know how you're sucking it up to Coach so you don’t lose your place here. But guess what? People like you, who have no class and couldn't afford this school, shouldn’t even be here in the first place.”

I knew I shouldn’t listen to what he was saying. He wasn’t the first person to look down on me just because I wasn’t rich. But they still hurt though. I held myself back from flinching, from giving Cenred the satisfaction that he could verbally hurt me. I frowned at him and tried to push his hands off my shoulders. 

“I don’t care, I honestly don’t,” I bit out. “You can take your pompous views about social classes and shove it where the sun don’t shine.”

He seemed to like that I was talking back, judging from the mean gleam in his eyes. I was getting a bit terrified when Cenred touched my chin, pushing my head back a bit as he leaned in close. His body was almost touching mine. My eyes widened as he smirked. 

“What the—” I started but stopped when the grip on my chin tightened like a warning. 

“I would watch what I say if I were you,” Cenred said. “You wouldn’t want to mess up your pretty face, now would you?”

I was a bit dumbfounded at what Cenred had said before disgust wormed into my veins when I noticed the weird look in his eyes. 

Okay, that was it. Before I got the chance to knee him in the balls so I could watch him writhe in pain, Cenred was pulled away harshly from me, stumbling backwards until I saw his back slamming against the lockers opposite of mine. 

“What the hell are you doing, Cenred?” Lancelot said, chest heaving, anger on his face. 

“Oh, shut it, Lancelot,” Cenred spit out as he stood straight. “He was asking for it! A punch in the face will set him right.”

“Oh my God,” Lancelot said, irritated. “What are you even doing back here? Coach suspended you for one week!”

Cenred only glared at him. “Why do you defend him anyway? He’s not supposed to be on our team. Not someone like him!”

“He’s our teammate,” Lancelot said. “Whether you like it or not, he’s our teammate.”

“Not mine,” Cenred said. “I bet Coach only let him on the team for laughs. Look at him! He’s a scrawny idiot!”

“You better leave, Cenred,” Lancelot said as he took a step towards Cenred. Cenred though only scoffed. 

“When I’m Captain, the first person I’m gonna boot out of the team is you and all of Arthur’s dumb minions,” Cenred sneered. “Then, I’m gonna show big ears here that he doesn’t belong here.”

I flinched at that. I was also beginning to get irritated. How big of an ego does Cenred have? From what I have seen of Arthur yesterday, the boy had more leadership skills than Cenred did. 

“You can keep dreaming,” I muttered. Cenred seemed to have caught what I said and raised his fist.

“What the fuck did you say?” Cenred asked. Lancelot took a step in front of me, almost like he was shielding me. 

Thankfully, before anything could happen, someone interrupted him. 

“I thought you were suspended, Cenred,” Arthur drawled, walking into the changing room, his hands in his trousers pockets. His tie was loose on his neck and his hair was a mess. I found myself staring at Arthur, feeling my cheeks reddening. My heart started to beat loudly in my chest and I looked away, feeling a bit too aware of Arthur’s presence. 

“I see you’ve decided to betray your teammates and jump in that boy’s bandwagon,” Cenred said. I furrowed my eyebrows, almost shaking my head at how ridiculous Cenred sounded. Was he even listening to himself?

Arthur frowned though, his shoulders tensed and I could see the ‘Captain’ power he was wielding at the moment. 

“He _is_ in the team,” Arthur said, as if he had said this a million times. “Deal with it.”

Cenred snarled. “Once I’m Captain, you will regret this!”

Arthur only stared at Cenred with a blank look on his face. “If you end up as Captain, Cenred.” He then took a step towards Cenred. “Until then, you follow _my_ principals and _my_ rules and you _respect_ my teammates.”

His voice was grave and deadly, venom clearly dripping with every word and the sheer authority in his voice was—mesmerising. I had shuddered at the voice and took a step back myself, feeling intimidated and flushed at the same time. 

There was some silence afterwards, both boys staring at each other before Cenred scoffed and pushed past Arthur and stormed off. The door to the changing room slammed closed, echoing off the walls. Lancelot sighed, running a hand down his face before he turned to look at me. 

“Are you alright?” he asked, genuine worry in his eyes. “You were taking quite some time in here so I thought to check on you.”

“I’m fine, thanks,” I said, smiling at Lancelot before patting on his shoulder. 

“Alright, get going, Lancelot,” Arthur said as he walked to his locker door, opening it and grabbing his own football uniform. Lancelot glanced at Arthur before he nodded. With one last look at my direction, he walked away. I cleared my throat and closed my locker, ready to leave as well when Arthur said, “Not you, Merlin. You’re staying here.”

I stopped moving and looked at him, confused as what he said settled into my mind. “But…,” I said but he only shook his head. 

“You’re staying here,” he said, his voice sharp as he glared at me. I closed my mouth shut, feeling intimidated all over again. He looked upset. I didn’t know why but I really didn’t want to find out the reason. Arthur was in a bad mood and I could feel the dark clouds hanging over his head from all the way where I was standing. 

I watched as Arthur started to strip himself from his jacket and folded it neatly before shoving it into the locker with such violence that I was almost terrified to be in the same room as he was. I spotted a bench in between lockers and sat down, glancing at him a few times, nervous. 

Arthur then untied his tie and unbuttoned his white shirt, leaving his chest bare. I didn’t know why but when my eyes caught on the almost tan skin of his chest, I couldn’t look away. My cheeks flushed red and heat crawled up my spine. My heart pounded in my chest as I felt flustered. 

It made me slightly dizzy as I continued to stare at the abs on his body and the muscles on his arms. The way he was slim and lean and yet had so much power from the way his body was moving. I couldn’t tear my eyes away until I realised that Arthur was unbuckling his pants and I caught the sharp V lines pointing—

I stopped. 

I closed my eyes and held my breath, clutching my fingers into tight fists by my side. 

Did I— _What_ the hell was that? 

The only sound of Arthur changing his clothes was becoming unbearable, not when my heart was beating like crazy and I had stared at his body like I hadn’t seen another boy’s body before. 

“Why are you keeping me here anyway?” I asked, my voice coming out high-pitched and probably strangled. I blushed even more as I opened my eyes to peek at Arthur, relieved that he was now wearing his jersey and shorts. I bit my bottom lip and looked away, eyes wide as I stared at the floor. When I looked back at him, I was almost startled to see him leaning against the lockers on his side, arms crossed against his chest with a smirk on his face. His eyes flashed in what seemed like mischief. 

My heart went crazy a bit more. Even though I didn’t know why. 

Instead of getting up and leaving, I went defensive. I frowned. “What?” I snapped.

Arthur’s smirk only got wider. “I didn’t want what happened yesterday to happen again. The cheerleading team is sharing the same practise time as we do.”

I stared at him for a while before I looked away, feeling shy. What the hell was going on with me?

I squirmed on my seat before I nodded. I felt Arthur looking at me a few more seconds before he sighed and I heard the locker door closing. Then, he settled next to me, toeing off his shoes and wearing his football shoes instead. I looked at my feet and frowned a bit, noticing I was only wearing jogging shoes. 

“Your cheek really does look bad, Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice low but I heard it anyway. I shrugged, not looking up from my feet. 

“It’ll heal,” I said, my tone neutral. 

There was silence and then Arthur sighed again. “So, you’re the one Morgana talks about a lot,” Arthur said as he leaned on his knees, looking at me. I glanced at him but not really looking at him back. I kept my head ducked and shoulders hunched. 

“Does she?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said and there was something genuine in his voice. “You make her happy. She was sad when she had to leave. But she never forgot about you.”

I felt my heart warm at that. “I never forgot about her, either.”

“At least, you were good to her,” Arthur said. I snapped my head to look at him and felt my breath hitching in my throat when I realised that we were sitting way too close—and our noses were almost brushing. I froze there, just staring at Arthur in the eyes while the blond stared at me right back, eyes wide. I didn’t know why I didn’t scramble away. In fact, it confused the hell out of me when Arthur pulled away a bit, a strange look on his face—and I was _disappointed_. 

“What are you doing?” Arthur asked, confused and wary. 

I took in a deep breath, looking away as I rubbed the back of my neck, deciding it would be best if I stood up. “Sorry,” I said, nervously. “Error.”

Arthur stood up as well, clearing his throat before he clapped his hands together once, jolting me from my thoughts. “Right, let’s head to the field.”

“Right,” I echoed him and watched him leave first, scurrying out of the room while I stood there, wondering what happened. I almost…I almost kissed him. I started to freak out a bit. “I almost kissed him!”

The door banged open and Arthur yelled for him. “Merlin!”

“Coming!” Merlin yelled back and shoved the panic to the back of his head for now and jogged out of the room. 

***

At the field, we started practise with some warm ups. Arthur asked us to jog around the field, ten laps. The image of what almost happened in the locker room managed to distract my focus. Why was it bothering me so much? I almost tripped over some rock on the field and lost my footing because of it!

“Watch your step, Merlin,” Percival said, suddenly by my side. I smiled and nodded at him before we continued on jogging. To be honest, I was struggling to continue the jog after the first three laps. Once we were finished, we were given twenty minutes to rest. I walked to one of the benches and sat down, snatching my water bottle. I opened the cap and gulped down the drink. My muscles ached and my shoulders started to become sore. 

Just as I was about to stand up, a high-pitched voice came from behind me. I winced at the voice. Who was that?

“Arthur, darling!” 

I saw a flash of red hair—maybe orange I wasn’t entirely sure—rushing down from the stairs of the auditorium to greet Arthur, who was looking at her with wide eyes. I could only stare at them when she suddenly launched at him, her legs wrapping around his waist and kissed him full on his lips.

Arthur immediately held onto her and kissed her back. 

I couldn’t help but to continue staring at them before I looked away, frowning when I felt this zap of irritation in my chest. 

“Sophia!” Arthur exclaimed, loud enough for everyone to hear, after releasing her on her feet. “W—what are you doing here?”

“I came to see you, love,” she said with a giggle.

I felt like gagging. I caught Lancelot rolling his eyes and jogged towards me before he sat down, sighing. 

“I couldn’t stand the sight,” Lancelot joked, even though there was annoyance clear in his eyes. 

“Who is she?” I asked. 

“His girlfriend,” Lancelot replied. I blinked at the response before going back to look at ‘Sophia’ who was talking to Arthur and looping her hands around his neck while Arthur had his hands on her waist, smiling. It would have been a cute sight if it were anyone else but all it ever did to me was grate my nerves. 

Something about the girl was just radiating fake and the fact Lancelot and some of the other team members shaking their heads and rolling their eyes at the girl made me think that nobody really liked Sophia. I sucked in my bottom lip. I didn’t like her either. She rubbed me the wrong way even if we never talked or I never met her before. 

Lancelot shared a look with me and I hid a smile at that. Just as I was about to continue on giggling like an idiot with Lancelot making non-verbal pokes at Sophia and her red hair, Arthur called for me. 

“Merlin! Get your lazy arse down here!” Arthur yelled. I gave Arthur a sceptical look before I got up and walked towards him while drinking the rest of the water from my bottle. 

“Yeah?” I asked, almost in a bored tone which was rewarded with a glare. Not from Arthur—but from Sophia. 

“Is he a new member on the team or something?” Sophia asked, sounding deadly sweet. I saw Arthur squeezing her hip with one hand and I looked away, holding back the urge to sigh. 

“Yeah, he is,” Arthur said before he focused his attention on me. I looked at Arthur before I pointedly looked at Sophia. Sophia narrowed her eyes at me before she scoffed, crossing her arms against her chest, pushing against her breasts. I just looked at her for a while. 

“Hi?” I said, almost as a question. 

“This is Sophia,” Arthur said, introducing her. “And this is my new teammate, Merlin.”

“Uh,” I said, furrowing my eyebrows a bit as I tried to shake off the stare she was throwing at me. “Nice to meet you. So…what brings you around here?” I asked, almost hopelessly. 

“I’m his girlfriend, you dimwit,” she said rudely. “I can come here whenever I like.” 

I decided to stay silent as I looked at Arthur, who seemed a bit amused at our exchange. I rolled my eyes and pointed to the benches. 

“Arthur, if you have nothing else to say, can I please get back to my seat so I can continue my perfect peace with Lancelot?” I tried to excuse myself.

“You came here to _practice_ , Merlin,” he said through his gritted teeth, glaring at me like I had done some kind of offence to him. “Not to slack off with Lancelot!”

“Who said I was?” I protested.

“Just get back to running,” he sneered. 

“But twenty minutes is not yet up!” I denied.

“ _Now._ ”

It was clear Arthur wasn’t playing around. His voice was stern and filled with power, just like it had been in the changing room. I took a small step back and glared at him. I stomped back to my seat and slammed my water bottle on the bench, sighing loudly. Lancelot stood up with me with raised eyebrows. 

“I think we have to start running now,” I groused. Lancelot frowned and looked over my shoulder before he shook his head and patted my arm. 

“Come on,” Lancelot said. With that, I started running with him, doing sprints. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Sophia leaning up to kiss Arthur before she sauntered to one of the benches, sitting down there with one of her legs across the other. Arthur was back to running as well, keeping an eye on the rest of his teammates. 

I rolled my eyes even though I felt uneasy whenever I looked over at her and found her staring at me, watching me like a hawk. Arthur was back to being a prat again too, ordering everyone around and yelling whenever we made a mistake, especially at me. When the practise was over, I was exhausted to my bones, upset and wanted nothing more but to get back home so I could sleep. Arthur hadn’t even glanced at me as he dismissed today’s practise, everyone trudging back to the changing room. 

Sophia had jogged up to Arthur by then and I looked away, rushing to get to the changing room so I didn't have to see whatever it was that was going to happen. I felt even more upset than before even though I didn’t know why. Arthur was nobody to me. It wasn’t like he owed me anything. 

Sighing, I walked into the changing room and went to sit on the bench, deciding to wait until everyone left so I could change. Maybe even grab a shower.

 

***

 

I did take a shower and I managed to change into my school trousers and was now in the process of wearing my white shirt on when the changing room door slammed open. I was the only one here at the moment, so I was startled at the sound until I saw Arthur, storming inside with a scowl on his face. 

Already, I knew that Arthur was in a bad mood and I sighed under my breath. One-second he was fine, and the next, he was a royal pain in the arse. I continued to button up my shirt, halfway done when I jolted from the slam of the locker door. I touched my chest and took in a deep breath, feeling irritated that Arthur was just slamming things about.

“You and your mood swings,” I muttered, annoyed. 

“What?” Arthur asked, his voice sharp as he looked at me. I stopped buttoning to look at him and rolled my eyes, continuing on buttoning my shirt up. That seemed to make Arthur even madder as he slammed a hand on my own locker door, making me yelp in surprise. “Don’t you dare ignore me, Merlin!”

“What the,” I said, eyes wide as I stared at his angry face. I felt irritation flare inside of me as I frowned. “What the hell is your problem, you prat? You could have taken my face off with that slam!”

“Repeat what you said,” Arthur seethed. I clenched my jaw tight, not giving in to Arthur and his glare. 

“I said, your mood swings are horrible and frankly childish,” I snapped. 

“You take that back,” Arthur said, his shoulders tensing. He really looked upset. And some parts of me started to get scared that Arthur might punch me. But the other, mouthier part of me just wanted to slap some sense into this boy. He was so annoying! 

“Or what?” I sneered. “You’re going to be a big bully and punch me in the face? Did you think just because you’re throwing a tantrum, I’m going to cower and say I’m sorry? Get your head out of your arse, prat.”

“You don’t even know what you’re talking about,” Arthur said as he took a step towards me. “And I suggest you keep your mouth shut. You don’t know me or what I’m going through. So, shut the fuck up, Merlin.”

I knew that I should heed to the warningbut anger and confusion was coursing through my veins enough to make me think irrationally. So, I did what I was best at doing. I provoked him. “Try me,” I said. 

Before I knew it, I was slammed against the locker doors for the second time today. The pain from before when Cenred did the same thing, made almost gasp. I immediately touched Arthur’s shoulders and gripped on them tight, closing my eyes tight when the pain went down my spine like acid. 

“Oh God,” I whimpered, feeling tears gathering in my eyes. The pressure on my shoulders immediately lessened. 

“Merlin?” Arthur said, his voice no longer tense, instead, filled with worry. “Merlin? Hey, look at me.”

A hand touched my face and I shook it off, taking in deep breaths as I tried to think the pain away. “Merlin,” Arthur said and then touched my face once more, both of his hands cradling my jaw. “Open your eyes, hey. Are you alright?”

Annoyed and in pain, I opened my eyes and pushed his hands away from me. “No!” I yelled at him, touching my right shoulder and biting my bottom lip when I realised it really hurt. 

“Merlin,” Arthur began. “Why are your shoulders hurting? Let me see.” Arthur tried to touch me again and I pushed him away once more. 

“Don’t,” I said, my voice cracking. “It hurts.”

“Okay, okay,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “Come on, maybe we should go to the nurse’s office again then. Get that checked out.”

I shook my head as I clenched my eyes tight. I felt Arthur touching my right hand, tugging me a bit so I would walk but I only cowered away from him. I opened my eyes a bit, tears still in my eyes, and saw Arthur looking at me, guilt clear on his face.

“I didn’t hurt you, did I?” Arthur asked, almost in a whisper. I looked away from him to the floor. 

“Cenred did,” I said, voice low. I heard Arthur taking in a sharp breath. 

“Okay,” Arthur said, his voice suddenly tight. “Come on, we’re going to the nurse’s office.”

“I’ll go home instead,” I said and tried to move but Arthur stopped me with a pointed look on his face. 

“No, we’re going to the nurses office. And I will carry you if I have to.” 

I scoffed at him. I didn’t think he was serious enough to do that. I simply rolled my eyes and tried to finish buttoning up my shirt. “Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice held a warning to it. I ignored it and struggled to button up my shirt with the pain flaring on my shoulders. After the third time of unsuccessfully buttoning my shirt, I heard Arthur sigh really loudly. 

“You asked for this,” Arthur murmured loud enough for me to hear. Then, I felt him grabbing the back of my knees and one arm on my shoulders before he lifted me up. I was in shock. I stared at Arthur for a while before I realised I was in his arms—literally and felt my face burn up. 

“What the,” I started and he grinned, teasing and mischievously. “Arthur!” I said, not really admitting to the fact I sounded like a girl at the moment. 

“I did warn you,” Arthur said with a shrug before he jolted me in his arms. I closed my eyes when I felt my shoulders hurting again and he apologised a bit. “Come on, hold my neck or something so I can carry you properly.”

“Put me down,” I gritted out as I opened my eyes to glare at his chest, not daring to look at him in the eyes. I refused to acknowledge how warm Arthur was against me like this. No. This was humiliating. 

“No,” Arthur said. “So, I suggest you cooperate.”

“Arthur!” I exclaimed but I knew it was futile when Arthur began walking. “Someone could see us!”

“No one’s around,” Arthur said. “Stop acting like a girl, Merlin.”

“You prat,” I sneered at him but for the first time ever, Arthur only laughed. I could feel his chest vibrating from against me and my cheeks reddened. My heart started to beat loudly against my chest and I felt warm inside. 

Arthur looked down at me as he continued to carry me, meanwhile, I was trying my best not to fidget so much and fall flat on my arse. “Stop looking at me,” I groused, knowing that my cheeks were flushed. 

“I like you like this,” Arthur said as he laughed again. “Docile, quiet. It suits you.”

I felt my eyebrow twitch at that. “Shut up,” I said, but it came out almost as a whisper. 

“Is that any way to thank your prince charming?” Arthur asked, almost amused. I scowled as I glared at his chest. 

“You’re not my prince charming,” I mumbled. “More like a pest.”

“I will drop you,” Arthur said, playfully. I finally looked at him, tilting my head backwards. I stilled a bit when I realised that he had been staring at me all this while. I took in a sharp breath and looked away again. 

“Whatever,” I said. Arthur didn’t drop me, instead, he gripped on me tighter and my heart thumped again, loud and clear. There was this warm feeling that threatened to envelope me in it and I liked that feeling even if I was so confused as to why I was feeling this way. It felt like I was safe in his arms. Which was ridiculous because Arthur hadn’t acted in any way to make me feel like this. Besides holding Cenred away from me for the past two days. 

“Thank you,” I whispered. Arthur hummed under his breath in a question. “For, uh, you know, with Cenred.”

“Just doing my job, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I told you, didn’t I? I care for my teammates.”

Right. 

I nodded once and quietened down, unsure to why it disappointed me to hear that. I was so confused. 

When we got to the nurse’s office, I began struggling again to get down but Arthur only tightened his grip on me and was adamant to set me on a bed. The nurse looked amused while I was sat on the bed, blushing red to the tips of my ears, glaring at Arthur, who only smiled at me with an amused look on his face. 

He lingered around when the nurse peeled the shirt off my shoulder. 

“That’s a bruise, love,” the nurse said as she sighed. “You boys shouldn’t practise so hard.”

I cringed when she touched the bruise before she applied some cream on it. Arthur meanwhile had gone deadly still, his jaw clenched tight as he stared at the bruise. I didn’t know what possessed me to do this, but I found myself touching Arthur’s clenched hands. Arthur looked at me in the eyes and I smiled at him, a bit warily. 

“I’m fine,” I told him. 

Arthur relaxed a bit at that even if he wasn’t completely at ease . He scoffed and pulled his hands away from my touch. “Yeah, whatever,” I heard him mutter. I rolled my eyes and waited until the nurse was done with my shoulder. With a smile, the nurse patted me on my back and buttoned my shirt up. 

“All done,” she said. “Just take it easy, okay?”

“Thanks,” I said and hoped down from the bed. 

“Don’t work him too hard, Arthur,” the nurse said with a disapproving look on her face. Arthur looked chastised and nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Will do,” Arthur said. “Thanks.”

We walked out of the nurse’s office after that. Arthur was quiet by my side and I was more than ready to go back home. “So,” I said as I turned to look at him. “Thanks.”

“You’ve said that already,” Arthur said with a huff, even though he looked a bit shy. He looked at me before he looked away and then shrugged. “No need to keep thanking me. I know I’m kind.”

I scoffed and rolled my eyes, more amused than irritated. “You’re really something,” I said. 

Arthur seemed to smile a bit at that before he cleared his throat. “Just don’t be such a weakling, Merlin,” Arthur said with a smirk on his face. 

I scowled at him. “And here I thought we were past this,” I said. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said as he mock sighed. “We’re never going to be past this.”

It would have irked me if this was said in any other situation, but now? Now, it felt like we were bickering…like friends. It made me smile. Arthur blinked at me in surprise before he took a step back. 

“This is great and all but I have to get back and shower and get home,” Arthur said. “And you have to finish dressing. Can we go?”

I raised my eyebrows at him. “What makes you think I want to follow you? I might be going home straight away now.”

Arthur narrowed his eyes and stared at me before he said, “Right,” Arthur drawled. “Or—you’re just making excuses so I’ll carry you again.”

My eyes widened and my face flared in red as I saw the mischievous look on his face. “No,” I said. “Don’t. I will kick you.”

“Big words for a little man,” Arthur mocked as he took a step forward. “Get going or I will carry you. You’re quite light, you know.”

I bit my bottom lip and I knew Arthur wasn’t kidding when he took another step forward, his hands reaching towards me. “Fine!” I said and before Arthur could do anything about it, I pushed past him and dashed off to the changing room. “Catch me if you can!” I yelled. 

And I felt Arthur cursing under his breath before chasing after me. I was the first one to get into the changing room and I raised my hands in the air when Arthur burst into the room the next minute. We were both panting and had wide smiles on our faces.

“I won,” I said between gasps. My legs ached as I held on my knees. Arthur shook his head and straightened, taking in a few more deep breaths. 

“Only because you cheated,” Arthur said, with what seemed like a friendly tone. I stared at him for a while before I smiled at him. Arthur rolled his eyes again as he walked to his locker. “Anyway, I’m going to shower. Get home safe. Or whatever.”

With one last look at my direction, he had walked to one of the unoccupied shower stalls with his uniform and towel in his hands. I shook my head and sighed, feeling my heart racing against my chest and not just from running either. I felt different.

I quickly gathered my things and looked at the direction of the shower stalls. I opened my mouth to say goodbye and then stopped myself. Arthur and I weren’t really friends. We just had a friendly moment, that was all. Frowning at how much I suddenly disliked that thought, I walked out of the changing room, confused with my feelings for Arthur. 

Confused about who Arthur truly was. 

Confused about us in general.

 


	6. Will's Back!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Thank you guys for reading! Here's a new chapter~ It was a short chapter but it was lots of fun to rewrite. Hope you guys like it and let me know what you guys thought! Thank you to those who have read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave this story a kudos~ Until next chapter~ -Krystal

 

 

I yawned and held back a groan when I heard my alarm went off. Without opening my eyes, I slammed my hand on the bedside table and grabbed my phone. After fumbling on the screen, I managed to close the alarm and toss the phone back on the table. With a sigh at the silence, I burrowed deeper into my pillows, curling into my blanket, knowing full well it was the weekends. 

Just as I was about to nod off to sleep, my bedroom door slammed open. I snapped my eyes open, heart thumping loudly against my chest as I scrambled to sit up, a short scream escaped my lips. I took in deep breaths as I stared at my door where someone stood there, arms wide and legs apart, a grin on his face. 

“Look who has arrived!” a familiar voice said, loud. I squinted my eyes at the person until he took a few steps into my bedroom. When I recognised who it was, I quickly got out of bed and rushed to him, throwing my hands over him. He laughed before he hugged me back, tight. “Did you miss me?”

“Will!” I said as I pulled back, my hands on his shoulders. “You’re…How? Will!”

“Merlin!” Will said back. “I asked you a question, mate!”

“Of course I missed you, you idiot,” I said, slapping a hand on his arm. He winced and rubbed his arm, grinning at me. 

“Ouch, okay, I get it, no need to be so violent,” he said. I rolled my eyes and chuckled, a grin on my face so wide that my cheeks started to hurt. 

“How?” I asked again, staring at him. Will’s grin widened until he looked a bit creepy, a giddy look in his eyes. 

“Guess what?” he said, cupping a hand over his mouth like he was whispering. I raised my eyebrows at him. 

“What?” I asked when he looked at me pointedly. “What? I don’t know.”

He mocked sighed before he placed his hands on my shoulders and squeezed. “I got in, Merlin. I got into the school after all. I barely made it, but I got in. A student changed school and I got their place.”

My eyes widened as I stared at him. “No,” I breathed out. “Oh my God, are you serious?” 

“Dead serious,” he said. 

“Will!” I said, feeling this happiness inside me bloom. I couldn’t believe this was happening! I was getting my best mate by my side again. When I had gotten into the school, Will had caved in and applied to the same school. I didn’t think he would get in, I didn’t want to get my hopes up. But now, he was here. “Did you move here?”

“It was about time,” Will said with a shrug. “Dad got a job opportunity here and Mum thought it would be a great change. Me getting into the school is just a bonus. Besides, I can’t leave you behind now, can I?”

“Gosh,” I said. “Where do you live?”

“A bus ride away from here,” Will said. 

I beamed at him. When I had to move away from him, I was sad. He had always been there for me and it felt like I had left behind a hand or a leg. But now he was back. “Have you explored Camelot yet?” I asked as I went back to my bed, cleaning it up. 

“Not yet,” Will said. “I literally arrived yesterday.”

I frowned a bit and Will sighed noticing the look on my face. “I didn’t tell you because I wanted to surprise you. So, surprise!”

Rolling my eyes, I looked at him fondly. “I’m glad you’re back Will.”

Will’s smile dimmed into a genuine one. “Me too, Merlin.” After a second, he pointed to my cupboard. “Get changed. I wanna hang out with my best bud.”

I chuckled and gave him a thumbs up. 

“Meanwhile,” Will said as he trailed off, looking over his shoulders. “I’m gonna go and see if your Mum is making her famous pancakes.” 

“Oh God,” I whispered under my breath. “Don’t bully her to do it for you, jerk.”

Will laughed, loud and bright. “Merlin, your Mum loves me.”

I scowled even though I wasn’t serious. “Yeah, yeah,” I said as I waved him off. With a laugh and a harsh pat at my back, he walked away, closing my bedroom door. 

I sighed and smiled, holding back the urge to giggle like an idiot. I couldn’t contain my excitement as I rushed to the cupboard and grabbed the first pair of clothes I saw. Will was back and for the first time since I arrived here, I felt like I could be properly happy again.

 

***

 

Walking around Camelot was harder than it seemed, since it was a huge city and it would take at least three days to fully explore everything Camelot had to offer. By lunch time, Will and I had decided to grab eat at a nearby restaurant. 

“So,” Will began as he slumped on his seat. “Football, huh?”

I groaned and gave him a glare. “Don’t get me started on that.”

“Come on,” Will said, a teasing smile on his face. “You told me you were in the team and then nothing else.”

I gave him a shrug which was met with a patient look. Defeated, I said, “Remember the blond prat prince I told you about?”

Will frowned a bit, nodding. “Yeah, what about him?” After a second, he sat straighter, narrowing his eyes at me. “He isn’t bullying you, is he?”

“No,” I told him, shaking my head. “But he is a prat.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows, looking confused as he slumped back. “Okay…what do you mean by that?”

I bit my bottom lip before I sighed. “He’s my Captain.”

It took three-seconds for Will to understand what I had said before he started laughing a bit. I scowled at him, raising my eyebrows as I crossed my hands against my chest. 

“Sorry,” Will said as he bit his lip from smiling. “Just…what luck, mate.”

“Tell me about it,” I muttered, unimpressed with his failure at holding back a smile. 

“But seriously,” Will said as he cleared his throat. “He isn’t bullying you, right?”

I shook my head again. “No,” I said with a smile. “I mean, he acts like a prat, like sarcastic remarks or retorts or sceptical looks thrown in my way, but he doesn’t bully me. In fact…he actually keeps me safe.”

Will’s eyebrows raised at that, a look of curiosity crawled into his eyes. He gestured his right hand, nodding at me to continue speaking. I slinked down my chair a bit, feeling my cheeks heating up as I recalled what happened a few days ago. With how Arthur had carried me all the way to the nurse’s office to the little detail that we almost kissed. 

“Uh,” I said. “Well…there’s this guy. His name is Cenred and he…hates me. I’m not exactly sure why? Just, he thinks I’m too poor or something for the school and okay, no, it’s fine, Will. Don’t look like that!”

Will’s curiosity had died a bit and it turned into fierce anger the more I rattled on. 

“Merlin,” he began. “You’re getting bullied, aren’t you?”

“Not really,” I said. Will opened his mouth, looking ready to argue but stopped when I shook my head. “No, listen!”

Will hesitated before he sighed and nodded. 

“Okay, so, uh, the other guys on the team protected me,” I said. “And Arthur, even though he’s a prat, kept me safe. From Cenred. And uh…even…helped me to the nurse’s office when I got…bruised.”

“Bruised,” Will said, voice flat. 

“Don’t worry!” I said, hands in the air. “I’m fine. Arthur really took care of me, okay? Like, he was so fierce and angry at Cenred and managed to suspend him for one week and he makes sure I’m always next to him often and—”

Will’s anger melted away a bit, even if he still looked wary. “So, Arthur is your friend now, is that what you're trying to say?”

I felt my face flush. “No,” I bit out, flustered. “He’s not my friend. He’s just being a good Captain. Hence, it’s complicated. He’s not a bully. He’s…alright sometimes. But it doesn’t mean I like him. He’s just…”

I stopped, unsure on how to continue. Will only stared at me, amused. I scowled and looked at my table, knowing that the tips of my ears were red. Will chuckled and I glared at him from under my eyelashes, ready to snap at him when my phone rang. 

With a loud sigh and a pointed look at Will, I answered the call—only to get yelled at by none other than Arthur. 

“Merlin!” his voice boomed. “Where the hell are you?”

I blinked a few times, confused. I pulled my phone away from my ears and stared at the caller ID. It was an unknown number. I placed the phone back against my ears, furrowing my eyebrows. That had garnered Will’s attention as he eyed me, tilting his head to the side a bit. I shrugged at him when I saw the question in his eyes. 

“Hello?” I asked. 

“Merlin? Hello? Are you listening?” Arthur snapped, sounding even more irritable. “Where the hell are you? Have you gone deaf?”

I frowned. “Hello, Arthur,” I snapped. “I’m fine, thanks for asking. How the hell did you get my number?” I asked once I realised that I wasn’t imagining Arthur’s voice. 

“I got it from Morgana,” Arthur said. “Who by the way is here. Where are you?”

“Look,” I said, resisting the urge to rub my forehead at the impending headache. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“What…what I’m talking about?” Arthur asked, sounding even more crossed. I groaned. “Merlin, you’re supposed to be here for practise, you idiot.”

I went silent, more confused than before. “Uh, no, I’m not,” I said. “Arthur, isn’t it the weekends? Why…?”

Arthur remained quite himself for a while before I heard him sigh. “Merlin…,” he started and then I heard him yelling at someone at the background. “Didn’t anyone tell Merlin we have practise? I told you to tell him!”

I couldn’t hear any of the replies but then Arthur had came back on the phone, grumbling. “Just get here,” he snapped. “I’m giving you twenty minutes.”

“W—What?” I exclaimed as I stood up. “Arthur.”

“ _Now_ ,” Arthur said and ended the call without another word. I pulled the phone away from my ear, glaring at it. I clenched on it tight, frowning. 

“What’s wrong?” Will asked, a worried look on his face. 

“Arthur,” I said. “He said I got practise today. He asked me to come.”

Will hummed, looking thoughtful. “Let’s go then,” he said. 

“Will,” I said, almost in a whine. “I wanted to spend my entire day with you.”

“Well, we are!” Will said as he grinned, standing up. “Only we’re spending our time at the field. I get to watch you in action, mate!” Then, he laughed a bit. “You and football. Oh, that’s definitely a sight to see!”

I shoved my phone into my jeans pocket. “What if I don’t want you to come, huh?” I asked. Will simply stared at me before he scoffed. 

“Yeah, right,” he said. “I’m gonna go pay for our food and we can go.”

“Oi,” I said. “I’ll pay too.”

“Nah, it’s on me,” Will said with a wink. I rolled my eyes but I let him pay. If Will wanted to pay for our food, I wasn’t going to stop him. I saved a few pounds. My thoughts went back to the football training that I was supposed to attend and winced. I really hated football. I almost died a few times while practising this entire week. I almost tripped and fell flat on my face a few times. If it wasn’t for Percival and Lancelot, I would have had fractured my face. 

With a sigh, I waited for Will to come back. 

At least Will would have some amusement, I thought with a smile.

 

***

 

I rushed down the hallway, dragging Will with a hand on his wrist. We got sidetracked when we stopped by a store filled with weird antiques. What was supposed to be only one minute turned into ten minutes and before I knew it, Arthur was calling again, yelling at me to hurry up. 

“I’m gonna die,” I whimpered as we finally reached the big doors to the field. Will huffed and panted as he finally stood next to me, pulling his wrist from my grasp. He was sweating and so was I. He then slapped my back and grinned. 

“Good luck,” he said and I rolled my eyes. With a deep breath, I stood straight and pushed open the doors. The first person I saw was Morgana, looking over her shoulders before her green eyes landed on me. She grinned big and waved as she stood up. Then, she froze when her eyes landed on Will who stood next to me. She looked confused and I chuckled, walking down the stairs to stand in front of her with Will following me. 

“Who’s this?” Morgana asked as she raised an eyebrow at me. 

“Morgana, this is Will,” I said. “My best mate.”

Morgana pursed her lips for a second as she looked at Will. “I thought I was your best mate,” she said. Will laughed, startling Morgana a bit. 

“You are,” Will said. “I’m his best male mate.”

Morgana tilted her head to the side. “Well, if that’s the case,” she said, a cheeky smile on her face as she handed her hand. “I’m Morgana.”

“I’m Will,” Will said as he shook her hand. “You’re even beautiful than I heard.”

I blinked at that. Morgana chuckled, her cheeks rosy as she pulled her hand away. “Why, thank you,” she said. I bit my bottom lip and then pointed at the field where my teammates were practising. 

“I think I should go and see Arthur,” I said. Morgana looked at me before she sighed. 

“He’s hates tardy people,” Morgana said. “But it’s not your fault. So, don’t worry.”

I smiled at her before I decided to get to the field to report my presence. I stood at the edge of the field and stared at my teammates for a second before I saw Arthur looking at me. He had stopped kicking the ball and stared at me for a while before he shook his head, jogging towards me. 

He had a scowl on his face as he stood in front of me, panting a bit. His face was flushed and sweat was pooling at his temples. “What the hell are you wearing?” he asked. 

“Oh,” I said as I looked at my clothes. “I just wanted to tell you I’m here.”

Arthur gave me a twisted smirk. “Great, thanks. Now, get lost and don’t come back until you’ve changed. God, you’re hopeless.”

I frowned. “Hey,” I said. “No need to be a prat. I’m sorry I was late. I got distracted on the way—”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, cutting me off with an irritated look in his eyes. “I don’t care.”

“I,” I started and then stopped talking, crossing my arms against my chest, glaring at him a bit. “Does football twist your knickers or something?”

Arthur’s jaw clenched tight at that. “Go and get changed. Not only are you late, you’re talking back at me. Don’t be a smartarse right now, okay?”

With a glare at my direction, he stormed off. I watched him leave and sighed, running a hand down my face. “Fine,” I muttered angrily and left the field, climbing back up the stairs. Morgana looked at me, breaking away from the conversation she was having with Will, a question on her face. 

“I’m gonna go change,” I said, bitterly. “What crawled up in his arse and died?” 

Morgana gave me a smile. “Arthur is Arthur,” she said with a shrug. “Don’t take it personally. He’s been a right tit since this morning. Go along then.”

Will seemed amused, waggling his eyebrows. I gave him a pointed look which was met with a gleeful smile. “This is going to be entertaining.”

“Why am I friends with you?” I asked, humour in my voice. 

“Because…you’d suck without me?” Will said almost in a bored tone. He yelped when Morgana nudged me at his ribs, hard. “Without us?” Will mended and sighed when Morgana gave me a beaming smile. 

“I think I’m starting to regret introducing you both,” I murmured. It earned a few chuckles from both Morgana and Will. 

With a wave at them, I jogged out of the auditorium and head to the changing rooms. 

 

***

 

The training went on like normal. With the same amount of nonsense from Arthur as usual. It was even more brutal than normal. I was starting to think Arthur wanted to murder us where we stood, or me in general since he kept eyeing me up and down with a raised eyebrow every time I messed up. 

In retaliation, I might have tried to kick the ball at his face again. And failed miserably, karma giving me back ten times worse with me almost falling flat on my face again. Arthur had sighed but there was a twinkle of humour in his eyes as Percival looked at me with worry. 

“If you’re any clumsier,” Arthur said. “I’d have to keep an appointment with the nurse every time we have practise.” 

I felt my cheeks burning as I recalled Arthur carrying me to the nurse’s office. I avoided his eyes and gave him a frown and a scoff. Arthur had only laughed. 

Finally, we were finally given at least twenty minutes to rest. I tiredly walked back to the seats and sat down. Morgana didn’t seem to notice me as she was busy talking to Will but Will did, nudging at Morgana. I smiled back at them before someone sat next to me. I turned my head to the right and saw Lancelot. He was drinking his energy drink. 

Will and Morgana trudged over to where we were, smiling. 

“Hey,” Lancelot said as he looked at Morgana and then at Will. Lancelot gave Will a soft smile. “I’m Lancelot.” 

Will had went to give Lancelot a handshake and nodded. “Will. Merlin’s mate from Ealdor.”

“Ah,” Lancelot said and grinned. “We don’t usually have outsiders as spectators. Don’t think we’re allowed to bring guests, actually.”

“Will’s going to school here starting this Monday,” Morgana piped in. 

Lancelot nodded, congratulating Will. “That’s great, mate,” he said. “This is a great school, if we ignore the social bias that goes around here.”

“Yeah,” Will said, a frown on his face. “I heard about Cenred.”

I looked at Will and shook my head but Will silenced me with a look. I pouted and looked away, listening to Lancelot sighing. 

“Cenred has always been mean,” Lancelot said. “Not to say that excuses his behaviour, of course. Nobody ever liked him. Except for Morgouse.”

I saw Morgana gagging. “Of course he would be liked by that rat face,” Morgana groused. 

“Who’s Morgouse?” Will asked, confused. 

“She’s this head of cheerleader girl who hates my guts too,” I said. “Because she thinks I’m dating Morgana.”

“What?” Will asked, looking at Morgana before he looked at me. “Are you two dating?”

Morgana spluttered. “No offence to you, Merlin,” she said. “But no, we’re not dating. I…don’t think I’ll ever see Merlin as anything more than a brother.”

I grinned at Morgana. “No offence taken because I feel the same way.”

“So, this Morgouse chick hates you because of Morgana?” Will asked. 

“Long story,” Morgana said with a sigh. “I’ll fill you in with the details later. But you know, Merlin’s safe here.”

“The guys are warming up to him,” Lancelot said. “Gwaine had started to get curious of you, Merlin.”

“Gwaine,” I said, testing the name out. “Which one is he?”

“The one who is currently trying to tackle Percival to the ground,” Lancelot said. I looked at where Lancelot was pointing and found myself looking at a boy, not as tall as Percival, but as muscled as Arthur, maybe a bit more, laughing and pushing at Percival, roughhousing with him. 

“Huh,” I said. “Maybe we can be friends if we ever say hi to each other.”

Lancelot’s eyes twinkled. “Maybe,” he said. “But yeah, even Arthur is worried for him, you know. I heard he even brought you to the infirmary the other day.”

Morgana raised her eyebrows at that. “Again?” she asked. “What for?”

I pointed to my shoulder. “Remember the shoulder bruise?”

“Merlin!” Morgana said. “You didn’t tell me Arthur took you there.”

“Well,” I said, looking away to stare at my feet, cheeks reddening. 

“Are you blushing?” Will asked, amused. 

I scowled. “No!” I said as I glared at him. “Why would I blush?”

Morgana hummed under her breath, looking at me with an assessing look on her face that I didn’t like. Will grinned, taking a seat next to me as he looped a hand around my neck and dragging me close. “Because you might have a crush on Arthur after he saved you a few times?”

I heard Morgana gasp and Lancelot choking on his water. I turned even redder as I pushed Will away, glaring at him. 

“No, I don’t,” I said. “He only ‘saved’ me because he had to.”

“I was just joking,” Will said as he raised his hands in the air. “You’re still as cold as a dead fish when it comes to romance.”

“Hey,” I said. “That makes no sense. And—what does that supposed to mean?”

Will looked at Lancelot over my shoulders and then at Morgana to make sure he got their attention. “This guy here, not once, have ever liked anyone in our old school.”

“That’s because our old school was filled with jerks,” I muttered. 

“The girls were nice, Merlin,” Will said. “There was even one girl that really liked him but he turned her down!”

“I was fifteen!” I said. “I was too young!”

Will only rolled his eyes. “Mate,” he said. “I’m starting to think you might be into lads.”

I froze for a second as the sentence registered in my head. I opened my mouth before I closed it. “What…the hell, Will?” I exclaimed. Morgana gave a high-pitched snort meanwhile Lancelot hummed under his breath. 

“Yeah, I think that’s it!” Will said as he poked my chest with a joking grin. “Maybe you don’t like anyone is because you’re into lads and…it’s all because of me.”

I slapped Will on his shoulder, hard. “I’m not into lads,” I said, rolling my eyes. “I’m straight, thanks. I just haven’t found the right girl yet.”

“Hm,” Morgana said. “Maybe you have.”

I looked at her and frowned. “Who?”

“Freya?” Morgana said. I felt my heart skip a beat at her name as I looked away, giving her a shrug. 

“No,” I said. I frowned realising that didn’t feel like a lie like I thought it would be. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair. 

“You know,” Lancelot said. “Even if you’re into lads, we don’t mind. Heck, I think our teammates, a few of them aren’t even straight, one or two have even came out of the closet and it’s still the same. We’re still a family, friends. We don’t mind.”

I smiled warmly at that accepting nature before I shook my head. “That’s really nice, Lancelot. I don’t care about who likes who either. But I’m straight, so there’s that.”

Lancelot hummed again before he gave me a smile. “No problem, mate.” With a slap on my shoulder, he stood up. “Well, I’m gonna go back to the field. See you in a bit, Merlin.”

I could only nod at Lancelot before the doors to the stadium burst opened revealing a girl; with her mini-skirt and her white blouse, rushing down the stairs. I looked at her for a while before her face clicked into my mind. It was—

“Sophia!” Arthur exclaimed as he saw his girlfriend running down to the field to greet him—a kiss flat on his lips. I could only roll my eyes at them. 

Then, there it was, that sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach as something acidic gurgling in my chest. That feeling where something in you just dropped to a pit hole. I squirmed on my seat as I stared at the couple, frowning. She had her arms around his neck as she giggled meanwhile Arthur was smiling and laughing. 

He seemed to genuinely like her. 

I couldn’t fathom as to why but I stopped myself before I could conjure up anymore weird thoughts like that. For a moment, I felt—upset. I looked away from them to my feet, biting my bottom lip as I took in a deep breath. Seeing Sophia was irritating, and when she went to Arthur, wrapping her body around his, it was a bit sickening to watch even if I didn’t know why. 

“Wow,” Will said. “She’s beautiful.”

“She’s annoying,” Morgana quipped, making another fake gagging noise. “I don’t see what Arthur sees in her.”

“If all the girls here are as hot as her,” Will breathed out, looking a bit dazed. Morgana only rolled her eyes as she crossed her arms against her chest. 

“Good job out there, Merlin,” Morgana said, changing the subject. That seemed to get Will’s attention back as he looked at me, nodding. 

“Mate, you ran across the field like a pro!” he said. “Never thought I’d see the day. I’m so proud of you, my child.”

“I’m not completely hopeless!” I said with an amused laugh. 

“Just never seen you out in the field like that,” Will said with a shrug. “How did it feel?”

“Tiring,” I said. 

“Atta’ boy!” Will said with a grin. “That’s my friend.”

“You’re seriously weird, Will,” I said and Morgana chuckled with me. 

“The best kind, Merlin,” Will said with a sigh. “The best kind.”

I relaxed next to him for a second before I saw Arthur talking to Percival, Lancelot, and Gwaine. Sophia was next to him and she had a huge frown on her face. She didn’t interrupt the boys speaking though and I felt my skin crawling when she looked over her shoulders to glare right at me. 

I frowned when Arthur sighed and pulled away from his friends to look at me. He then jogged up to me before he stood in front of us. 

“Merlin,” he said. 

“What?” I asked, a bit confused.

Arthur hesitated as his eyes darted to Morgana’s, who only looked back at him with a blank look on her face. With a loud sigh, Arthur said, “The team’s holding up a party this Sunday. Do come. Or not. I really don’t care.”

I looked at him like he had just lost his marbles. “Really, Arthur? You invite me to a party but you’re acting like a prat?”

Arthur simply scoffed. “It wasn’t my idea. It was Lancelot who insisted on inviting you.”

“Arthur,” Morgana began and Arthur raised his hands in the air. 

“Fine, so maybe the team thought it would be a great bonding time, I don’t know,” Arthur said before he looked at Will. “Who’re you?” he asked, bluntly. 

Will grinned. “I’m Will.”

“Why are you here?” Arthur asked, frowning. Then, he looked at me. “Why is he here? There’s a no guest allowed policy here.”

“Not to worry,” Will said, catching Arthur’s attention. “I school here. Well, will be, this Monday.”

Arthur blinked at him, a bit surprised before he cleared his throat and nodded. “Well, if that’s the case. Welcome to Camelot High,” he said, muttering a bit. Will beamed at him. 

“Thanks, mate,” Will said. “So, what’s this I hear about a party?”

Arthur’s reaction was hilarious if not for the fact I felt like I was treated more like an outcast than an actual invite. “You can come along too,” Arthur said, flippantly. He looked back at me and raised his eyebrows, as if he was waiting for an answer. I held back a sigh and then paused with a frown when I realised something.

“Wait, this Sunday?” I said as Arthur nodded. “As if in, _tomorrow_?”

“Yes, Mer _lin_ , tomorrow,” Arthur said, a bit annoyed.

“I don’t think I can come,” I said.

“You can’t?” Suddenly Percival came over, seemed to have overheard our conversation. He looked at me with his eyebrows furrowed.

“I’m not sure. I need to help my mother with unpacking things around the house,” I said. 

“Well, you can do that sooner,” Arthur said. “The party’s at night anyway.”

And with that, he walked away from me without another word. With something akin to an order.What was that? 

“I thought he didn’t want me to come?” I said. I could never really understand Arthur. His mind was just like a roller coaster. Up and down—and left to right. 

“Arthur would like it if you could make it, Merlin,” Percival said as I snapped my attention towards him. “It’s at his house and he wouldn’t invite just anybody.”

“He just said he didn’t care if I came or not,” I grumbled. Percival gave me a smile. 

“He cares,” Percival said. 

“He does?” I asked, sceptically. Morgana sighed. 

“Arthur’s an idiot,” Morgana mumbled. “I think deep inside his idiotic heart, he wants you to come.”

I looked at her, amused.

“Let’s go, mate,” Will said, looking hopeful. 

I couldn’t say yes right away. I had to help my Mum. She couldn’t unpack everything on her own. I gave Will an apologetic smile. 

“I have to think about it.”

Will looked at me before he nodded, an understanding look on his face. “Okay, but call me if you’re going and I’ll join you.” I smiled and nodded at him. 

“Tell Arthur I would think about it,” I said to Percival. “I just—don’t think I’m ready to indulge myself in—parties. I never been a party person.”

Percival only chuckled a bit. 

“You don’t say,” Will said, a bit drily. Percival grinned at that. 

“Don’t worry, I’ll relay the message to Arthur,” he said. 

“Huh,” Morgana said as she went to sit down on the seat located on my other side. “What if you had help?”

“To unpack?” I asked and then shrugged. “Maybe I could be done with it faster.”

Morgana grinned. “Then, leave it to me.”

I looked at her, dumbfounded. “Leave what to you?”

She just smiled and patted my shoulder. “Trust me.”

I didn’t know what was it she was asking me to trust in her for but I found myself nodding anyway. Morgana seemed to have an idea and I was a bit curious as to what it was. I pushed the thoughts of the party out of my head as I was called back to the field. With a wave at Morgana and Will, I joined Percival at the field. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	7. The Party & The Outcomes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Not mine. I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Enjoy this chapter, guys! Thank you to those who have commented, read, bookmarked, subscribed and gave this story a kudos. Let me know what you guys thought and until next time~! -Krystal

 

It was Sunday and luckily, there was no calls from Arthur about missing any footie practises. I was busy helping my mother unpack the boxes still stashed in the kitchen. By the time I was half done with unpacking, the empty boxes were littered on the kitchen table. Mum giggled when she saw the mess, shaking her head with her hands on her hips.

“I’ll bring them outside,” I said as I stacked a few boxes and started to carry them to the front door. 

It was a bright day today, the sky was blue, the sun was out and it actually felt warm instead of the passive aggressive weather England usually offered. With a deep breath, I walked to the front porch and placed the boxes there, stacking them neatly so they wouldn’t fall down. 

I walked back into the house and collected a few more boxes. I glanced at Mum who was busy arranging the silverware in the kitchen drawer. She had a smile on her face and she was humming a song. I sighed, shaking my head a bit. Her happiness was all that mattered to me. It was nice to see her smile. 

Then my thoughts raced to the invitation to Arthur’s party yesterday. That was the first time anyone invited me to a party. Any party really. It actually filled me with dread instead of elation. I wasn’t excited about it, in fact, I suspected that even if I didn’t have boxes to unpack, I still would have made some kind of excuse and had not gone to the party. 

I wondered if Mum would be thrilled about the prospect that I wasn’t total loser like I thought I was. Mum looked at me then, raising her eyebrows as her smile widened. “Why are you staring at me?” she asked. 

I snapped out of my thoughts and grinned at her. “Nothing,” I told her. “I’m going to put them outside.”

With that said, I carried the boxes to the front porch. The number of boxes that I was carrying this time was probably too many since I started to notice that the two boxes at the top were about to tip over and fall flat on my face any time. Holding my breath, I continued on gently, hoping to God that it didn’t fall. I didn’t need another bruise on my face. 

“Need help?” Just then, someone stood at my front lawn and spoke, causing me to flinch. The boxes immediately came toppling down and I crouched to the ground, covering my face and hunching myself into a ball so I was protected from the boxes. Thankfully, the boxes didn’t hit me. 

I heard him snickering and I quickly stood up, glaring at him. 

“What the hell?” I muttered as I saw Arthur, standing at the bottom stairs of the porch, his sunglasses placed at the top of his head, wearing a white tight shirt and a worn out skinny blue jeans. For some reason, I realised that he looked good wearing those clothes and with the sun out, his blond hair looked almost platinum blond. It was a beautiful colour on him and—

I should stop. 

I felt my face flush as I looked away, bending down to pick up the boxes to stack them properly. My heart skipped a beat when I heard him climbing up the stairs and helped me with stacking the boxes. 

“What are you even doing here?” I snapped after we finished stacking the boxes. Arthur raised his eyebrows, an amused smirk on his face. 

“I can’t come and visit my teammate whenever I like?” he asked, sarcasm dripping from his voice. Irritated, I crossed my arms against my chest and glared. 

“How the hell did you know where I live?” I demanded. “Are you stalking me? Do I need to get a restraining order?”

Arthur scoffed, rolling his eyes. “Always with the dramatics,” he said, waving a hand around. “I got it from Morgana who in return got it from Will. Did you know they’ve been talking to each other?”

I furrowed my eyebrows, recalling Will mentioning about that a few times. I sighed and dragged a hand down my face, in no mood to entertain Arthur today. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“Morgana,” Arthur said. I waited for him to continue but he just stared at me like that explained everything. I scowled. 

“Arthur, either you tell me what you want or go the hell away,” I hissed. “I’m very busy today and I have no time to entertain you.”

There was a brief flash of irritation in his eyes before he took in a deep breath. “Look, Morgana sent me here to help you with whatever unpacking you have left so you can come to the party.”

I stilled as I let the sentence register in my mind. I spluttered at him and took a large step back, eyeing him up and down. He frowned and raised one of his eyebrows at me, a mocking smile on his face. 

“Yeah, right,” I said. “Get lost.”

“Yeah, I can’t do that,” Arthur said with a suffering sigh. “She threatened to skin me alive. Morgana being Morgana will do that if you’re not at the party.”

“Oh my God,” I breathed out as I closed my eyes, rubbing my temples with my fingers. “This isn’t happening to me right now. Please tell me this isn’t happening.”

I heard Arthur chuckling. “You should join the drama team,” Arthur drawled. “You’d do well.”

“Gee, thanks,” I snapped, opening my eyes to shoot daggers at him. 

I was just about to literally force Arthur to get lost when Mum walked out of the house, carrying a few more boxes in her hands. Arthur didn’t even hesitate to help her, his entire demeanour changed and he smiled at Mum with a soft smile. Mum was surprised, standing there for a second as she looked at Arthur, who had stacked some of the boxes to the side. 

“Who’re you?” Mum asked as she cautiously placed the rest of the boxes aside. Arthur gave her a sheepish smile and rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I’m Arthur, ma’am,” he said. “I’m Merlin’s friend.”

“Oh!” Mum said, her eyebrows flew up in surprise before a gleeful look entered her eyes. “Merlin’s friend?”

“Yes,” Arthur said as he stretched out his arm. “I’m Arthur Pendragon.”

“Hunith,” she said as she shook her hand. “Nice to meet you, young man.”

“Thank you, you too, ma’am,” Arthur said, polite. Then, he glanced at me and I noticed a mischievous twinkle in his eyes that spelt trouble. Panicking a bit, I shot Arthur a look, hoping he wouldn’t say what I was absolutely sure he was about to. 

“So, why are you here, Arthur?” Mum asked as she ushered Arthur into the house, bringing him to the kitchen. “Sorry for the mess. Merlin and I were unpacking today. Would you like a cup of tea?”

“A cup of tea would be lovely, thank you,” Arthur said. “And ah, I’m here because I wanted to persuade your son to come to my party tonight.”

Mum froze for the second time today, her hands that were outstretched to grab the kettle paused. She placed the kettle down before she looked at me, a question in her eyes. I held back the urge to kick Arthur on his shins and nodded, defeated. Mum beamed, looking happy.

“Oh, you should go, Merlin,” she said as she continued to prepare tea. “It’ll be fun.”

“Yeah, it will,” Arthur said with a nod. “Besides, since Merlin here is our new teammate, we want to welcome him properly and get to know him.”

“That sounds wonderful!” Mum said. “Merlin, why won’t you go?”

“Mum,” I said. “You’ll be here all alone. And we haven’t hung out in ages. I thought…”

“Love,” Mum said, her voice fond. “I’ll be fine. We can still hang out next weekend or even during the weekdays when I have free time. Promise. Why don’t you go to the party tonight, hm? Live your youth, dear.”

I felt my face flush, my heart warming at my Mum’s supportive nature. 

Arthur, meanwhile, was watching our interaction with a soft smile on his face. There was a wistful look in his eyes that I wasn’t sure how to react to. At the end, I only side glared at the blond who in return gave me a wide grin. 

“I’ll…think about it,” I said, trying to get off this topic. Mum simply gave me a look and I knew that I was done for. “Okay, okay, fine. I’ll go to the stupid party.”

“Great!” Arthur said. “I’ll help you unpack then so you can be done faster.”

“That’s so wonderful of you, Arthur,” Mum gushed. “Thank you so much!”

“You’re welcome, ma’am,” Arthur said. 

“Nonsense, call me Hunith,” Mum said, eyes bright. I sighed and mentally threw Arthur off a cliff for cornering me like that. I held back a scowl as I watched Mum and Arthur conversing and bonding while I went to unpack a bit more. Arthur and his stupid charming smile had Mum wrapped around his finger. 

I pouted and ignored Arthur when he came over to help. Arthur didn’t seem to be bothered, humming under his breath like this was what we usually did. Like we—were friends. I furrowed my eyebrows and bit my bottom lip, feeling the pit of my stomach fluttering. 

By the time thirty minutes had gone by, we were done with unpacking all the boxes. Mum had thanked Arthur and offered him some cookies she baked yesterday. After that, she told me she had to leave for an appointment, kissed me on the head and told me to enjoy my party. She left after patting Arthur on the shoulder and winking at me, looking happier than I have seen her be. 

At least Arthur made her happy. 

Once the front door closed, I realised it was only Arthur and I in the house. 

Silence stretched on uncomfortably until Arthur cleared his throat. 

“You have a lovely mother,” Arthur said.

“The best in the world,” I replied as I looked at him. “Now, why are you _still_ here?”

Arthur looked at me with a smirk. “Did you think I would buy your word in front of your Mum?”

“I’m not going,” I said as I walked past him to the living room where I slumped tiredly on my couch. “Go away.”

“But your mum told you to go! Besides, remember Morgana? My skin, Merlin.” He frowned a bit as he followed me and slumped on the couch next to me. I simply looked at him half annoyed and half amused.

“That’s your problem,” I said. Arthur seemed to look at me for a while before he sighed. “I’m not going. No matter what Mum said. Just leave it be, okay?”

“Merlin, I’m pretty sure I didn’t cancel my date with Sophia to come here and get _rejected_ ,” he said annoyed. I only looked at him, irritation flared in me at the mention of her name. _Sophia_. That name itself had sent shivers running down my spine.

“Then why did you come here?” I snapped. He seemed to be taken aback at that. “I’m _not_ coming. End of story.”

With that I grabbed the remote control and switched on the television. I didn’t hear anything else as I just kept my eyes glued on the television.

“You’re quite stubborn, Merlin,” I heard him mutter.

“Thanks, I’m proud of that skill,” I replied, sarcastically. 

“Look, if you don’t come,” he started off. “I’m not going to survive Morgana’s wrath.”

“I really don’t care.”

“Merlin!” he yelled at me, frustrated. I switched off the television and looked at him, annoyed. 

“Arthur, if you’re done,” I said. “Then get _lost._ ”

I got up from my couch and walked to the kitchen, hoping that Arthur would take the hint and just leave. I wasn’t going to attend the party. I didn’t want to be in his social circle. I wouldn’t fit in and the last thing I was trying to be was someone I wasn’t. I heard him following me into the kitchen.

“What _is_ your problem?” he asked as I opened the refrigerator door. “I really don’t understand you.”

“I’m pretty sure the sentiment is reciprocated,” I said as I grabbed a box of apple juice and closed the refrigerator door. I leaned against the counter and sipped the apple juice while looking at Arthur, who had a blank look on his face. 

“Stop being difficult, Mer _lin_ ,” he said.

“No,” I replied as I placed the box of apple juice on the counter. I sighed slowly as I looked away from him and around my kitchen. “Just no.”

“Why?” he asked. 

“Be _cause_ —I don’t fit in!” I said, exasperated. I looked at him in the eyes, narrowing them. “Okay? I don’t fit in. I will never fit in. I don’t want to go to your party because I won’t fit in, alright?”

“What does that supposed to mean?” he asked, confused as his lips thinned. “You looked like you fit in fine to me!”

“You don’t understand,” I said, venom in my tone. “I don’t fit in like you. I’m not born with a silver spoon in my mouth. I was born in a small cottage with my mom in Ealdor. And my dad decided it would be fine tojust leave when I was two. Did you know how hard had it been on Mum? I had to work hard to make sure she smiles and never cry. You _don’t_ understand the society I’m from, Arthur. No one can fit in perfectly like you could.” After a beat of second, I added, “I don’t want to be someone I’m not.”

He stayed silent for a while as he stared at me. I fidgeted at where I stood, looking at my feet as my face flushed from embarrassment. I never blurted out my past like that to someone, only ever to Will and Morgana. And here I was—telling a boy that I had known for only a few days about it. 

I closed my eyes and took in a deep breath. Why did I say that? It wasn't as if that mattered. Maybe I hadn’t gotten over the fact that I hated my father for doing that to Mum. Maybe I didn’t want to end up like him and the fear was eating me alive and I had no one to talk to about it and Arthur seemed like the perfect stranger for me to blurt it at. Still, why did I say that? 

Silence stretched on for a few more seconds before Arthur licked his lips and nodded once. I looked up from my feet and furrowed my eyebrows, cautious. 

“I _don’t really_ fit in,” he said slowly, breaking the silence, his voice sincere and—raw. It sent shivers down my spine and my heart tightened at the pain hidden in his words. “You don’t know me fully, Merlin. I have my own—insecurities too. Unlike you—I have _no_ privilege to show it. I _can’t_.”

I looked at him, comprehending the weight of what he was saying. He seemed to be thinking for a while before his eyes snapped back at me.

“Just come to this party, Merlin,” he said, and this time—it wasn’t sarcastic, it wasn’t playful, it wasn’t anything but sincerity and friendliness. “You’ll be fine. I promise you.”

I looked at him for a while before I opened my mouth to speak, “Arthur—”

“I’ll pick you up tonight at eight then,” he said, cutting me off and just like that, his mask went back up and he looked away, his face flushing a bit. “Just in case you’re planning on running away.”

With that said, he didn’t give me a chance to retaliate as he fled from the kitchen and left my house. I was left there alone, thinking to myself.What was that a moment ago? Did Arthur show his real self for a bit there? To me? My heart beat loudly against my chest as my face warmed, a giddy feeling wrapped around my mind. A smile crept on my lips. 

When I realised what was happening, I snapped out of it. I sighed and shook my head. I grabbed my juice and continued to sip on it, furrowing my eyebrows as I analysed what Arthur said. 

Did that mean Arthur wasn’t an actual prat but a boy with as much insecurities as me? Only he hid it behind his social status meanwhile I ran away from them.

 

***

 

“Merlin!” 

The door to my room was knocked loudly. I groaned as I opened my eyes, my head was throbbing in pain. I blinked, sleepiness still clouding my brain as I tried to register what was happening. I didn’t move at all as I stared at the ceiling. 

“Merlin! Hurry up! Arthur’s waiting!”

I know that voice. It was Morgana’s. I sighed as I sat up on the bed. I dragged my eyes to the beside clock and noticed it was already eight ten in the evening. I sighed as I rubbed my face, realising that Morgana was here for the party. Oh God. I slowly got up from my bed and walked towards the door before unlocking it, revealing a scary looking Morgana on the other side.

“Yes?” I asked as she crossed her arms against her chest and looked at me from head to toe.

“You haven’t even dressed up?” she asked annoyed as I closed my eyes. The pain was getting bearable but I hope it wouldn’t get worse with Morgana’s babbling. “We’ve been waiting for ten minutes!”

“I was sleeping.” I stifled a yawn as she gave me a deadly glare.

“You were— _what_?” she asked. 

“I was tired so I slept,” I said. “Wait—how in the world did you get into my house?”

“Spare key under the mat,” she replied hastily as she pushed me to the side and strode to my closet. The key was under the mat? I didn’t remember having a spare key under the mat. She opened my closet door and searched through until she took out a white shirt; a black cotton jacket with a pair of blue skinny jeans. With that laid on my bed, she smiled at me. “Get dressed— _now_.”

I watched her leave as she slammed the door to my room shut. I sighed to myself. There was no escaping, was there? I could only walk towards my bed and look at the clothes. Morgana did have a good fashion sense, I thought. With another suffering sigh, I went to the bathroom to get a quick shower before I got dressed.

 

***

 

Walking down the stairs, Morgana was already sitting on the couch in my living room and reading some magazines which were on the coffee table. She quickly looked at me and beamed before she tossed the magazines on the table and got up. 

“I’m impressed,” she said to herself before she walked past me to the front door. “Come along.”

I could only smile before I looked around my house. I walked outside of the house before locking the front door. With that done, I followed Morgana to a car that was waiting at the road in front of my house. The windows were tinted so I couldn’t see the driver, but I didn’t have to. I knew who it was. 

“Sorry, Merlin _actually slept_ ,” Morgana said as she got in the passenger seat. I took the backseat and scoffed. 

“ _Typical_ ,” I heard Arthur snort and I rolled my eyes. I closed the door shut and looked at Arthur from the mirror. He rolled his eyes and looked away. “Thanks to you, we’re ten minutes late on picking up Will.”

“We’re picking up Will?” I said, blinking at them. I felt a bit guilty, realising that I had forgotten to inform Will about this. But from the way Morgana was grinning at me over her shoulders, I could guess she had sorted that out. 

The ride to Will’s house was quiet except for Morgana bickering with Arthur about some stuff. I found it cute and I couldn’t help but to smile at those two. I never once thought they were siblings, until now. Now, the image wouldn’t leave my mind. 

Once we reached at Will’s house, Will came clambering into the car, grinning wide. 

“Merlin!” Will greeted me first. “Arthur, Morgana.”

I just smiled at him before Arthur sped away from the driveway.

“You look dashing,” I said to Will who only grinned at me. 

“What can I say?” he said. “Looks run in the family.”

I rolled my eyes at him and the entire trip to Arthur’s place was quiet again. 

It took us at least twenty minutes before we reached Arthur’s place. The huge booming music that came out from the house made me jerk on my seat. I noticed how big the house was and it was alone in a large lawn. I could see people walking in and out of the house and some were even drinking and hanging out at the front lawn. 

“We’re here,” Morgana beamed as she got out of the car once the car was parked. I scrambled out of the car as well, looking around the area where the house was located in. The wind blew in my hair as I closed the door. This was _Arthur’s place_? And he said he didn’t fit in! Lies! No matter how much he denies it, he would always fit in. It was as simple as that. It was how this universe worked. 

Almost immediately, I didn’t feel like going inside. 

“Aren’t you coming?” Will asked as he looked at me with a smile. I just smiled back before I nodded. At least I had Will.

“Let’s go,” I said with a deep breath. 

We entered the house and I immediately looked at the scene. The house was huge but looked small with so many people inside. I had to squeeze in until I ended up at what looked like the kitchen. The music was blasting and I think I was going deaf. 

I had lost Will and Morgana the minute I entered this place. The smell of alcohol was nauseating and I was beginning to feel dizzy and slightly claustrophobic. Regret bloomed at the pit of my stomach, wondering what I had gotten myself into. I should have been more adamant about staying home.

I almost grabbed my phone and called Mum so she would pick me up but stopped myself at the last minute. Maybe…maybe I wasn’t giving this party a fair chance. Maybe, I needed to find a quiet place and observe and hope that someone like me wanted to come and talk to me. I sighed as I wandered around the kitchen.

I managed to find a huge table in the middle of the kitchen and found a chair to sit. I could see so many beer bottles and whatever alcohol bottles and cups on the table. It was disgusting, really. I never drink and I wouldn’t start today. I was busy looking around and staring at people when someone suddenly sat next to me.

“Nice party, huh?” a gruff voice asked as I turned to my left and saw a boy who had brown hair and eyes that twinkled in hazel. 

“Yeah, sure,” I shrugged. I didn’t know that this party was for _everyone_. Arthur said it was only for the football team. I guess it really didn’t matter, did it? 

“What’s your name?” he asked as he placed a bottle of beer on the table.

“Merlin,” I said. His eyes twinkled again, this time in recognition.

“I’m Gwaine,” he said as he held out his hand. My eyes widened as I recognised who this was. Lancelot had told me about him. I shook his hand and gave him a smile. 

“Nice to meet you,” I said as I pulled my hand away. Gwaine grinned. 

“Same to you, mate,” he said, his voice slurring a bit. I frowned. He seemed drunk already. He then went back to drinking his beer and I didn’t know how else to talk to him, so I kept quiet and looked away. My ears were ringing the longer I stayed in here, the music, if possible, became louder. 

“You don’t drink?” Gwaine spoke again, almost shouting at me as I turned my head and looked at him. I shook my head before he rolled his eyes and pushed his bottle to me. “Come on, just a sip.”

“No,” I said before I pushed the bottle back at him. “I _don’t_ drink. I’m not a drunkard.”

“Who said anything about getting drunk?” Gwaine tossed back. “It’s just a sip. Taste.”

I stared at him, raising my eyebrows, looking unimpressed. He raised his own eyebrows and stared right back at me, jiggling the beer bottle in my sight. I rolled my eyes and sighed expiated to myself as I grabbed the bottle at the end. Maybe he would leave me alone after this.

I tilted the bottle and sipped the beer, immediately regretting it as the bitterness washed on my tongue. I stopped drinking and gave him the bottle, grimacing at the taste. I wanted to gag. It was official, I was never going to drink again. Gwaine only grinned before he drank the beer from the bottle again.

“Indirect kiss,” he winked at me. I stared at him for a while before I groaned under my breath. So, Gwaine was that type of boy, wasn’t he? The type to hit on everything that moved. “What? Unimpressed?”

“I don’t _swing_ that way,” I said, trying to sound apologetic. 

“I don’t either,” he said with a shrug. “But it wouldn’t hurt to experiment.”

“And I’m not the lad to do so,” I said as I shrugged back. “Sorry.”

Gwaine sighed before he drank his beer quietly. I looked around the kitchen, feeling the awkward silence getting to me. I was starting to find a way to exit this place when I spotted a pair of familiar blue eyes and I had never felt this relieved to see Arthur than I did now. Arthur had walked into the kitchen, his eyes scanning the area before they landed on me.

I stared at him before giving him an awkward wave as he shook his head and walked up to me. 

“What _are_ you doing here sitting alone?” Arthur asked. 

“Uh—he’s not alone,” Gwaine interrupted, waving at Arthur. “I believe I kept him company.”

Arthur snapped his gaze from me to Gwaine before he smirked. “I didn’t know you swing that way, Mer _lin_.”

I rolled my eyes and decided to get up. “And I didn’t know that this party was for _everyone_.”

He looked at me confused for a second and I opened my mouth to explain to him before I decided that it wasn’t worth the trouble, especially if I had to shout it at him. With a shrug, I walked away from him and found myself at his backyard. The music wasn’t as noisy here and I could finally breathe in the fresh air. The backyard had a large pool where there were some people loitering about and a couple snogging at the corner, but it was still better than being in there. 

“What do you mean _everyone_?” Arthur asked as he followed me out. I turned around and gestured my hand around. 

“I meant—I thought you said it was only for the football team,” I said, tired. “I didn’t know the _whole school_ was here.”

“You’re not having any fun?” Arthur asked. I huffed at him, humourlessly.

“No,” I replied, honestly. A frown crawled on his lips before he sighed.

“Merlin, you aren’t even _trying_ to have fun,” Arthur empathised. 

“That’s because partying is not my cup of tea for fun,” I said. Arthur raised his eyebrows at me, a judgemental look on his face.

“Merlin, have you ever _been_ to a party before?” he asked. I just looked at him with a blank stare.

“What did you think I was?” I asked, trying to fight down a blush at being called out on. “A lone rat?”

“Well?” Arthur wasn’t buying it though. 

At last, I finally had to admit—

“No,” I mumbled as I looked away from him. 

“Ah, makes sense now,” he said as I shot him a glare. I was about to open my mouth to retort when I was interrupted by someone. 

“Arthur!” a familiar high-pitched voice said.

I froze and looked behind Arthur to see Sophia, wearing a skimpy black dress, walking towards us. She turned Arthur around by tugging on his shoulders and planted a kiss on his lips. Arthur was taken back a bit but he didn’t push her away. I stood there as I stared at the back of Arthur’s head, shuffling my weight from one foot to the other as I heard them make weird kissing noises that made me flush in irritation.

There it was again, that same flare of anger in my stomach whenever Sophia was around. Awkward as well, I decided to leave.

Just as I was about to, Sophia said, “Where have you been?”

I stopped walking and stilled, wondering for a second what Arthur’s response was as curiosity crawled in my chest. 

“I was with Merlin,” Arthur said simply as she pushed Arthur away a bit to peer at me.

“Ah,” she simply said, her eyes narrowed as she looked at me up and down. I felt a bit violated if I was being honest and glared at her right back, furrowing my eyebrows as the irritation started to become anger. Just who did this witch think she was looking at me like that? “Well, thanks for keeping Arthur company, Marvin, but I would like to have him back now.”

Marvin? Who the hell was Marvin?

“It’s Merlin,” I snapped, frowning. Arthur glanced at me, looking a bit amused. “And you’re welcome. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go and find a place that wouldn’t want to make me kill myself,” I said with a hiss as Sophia glared at me. 

Arthur looked stunned at that and opened his mouth, a frown on his face to say something but before he could, I walked away.

I walked back into his house and saw the stairs that led to the second floor. I stared at the stairs for a while, realising that the hallway to the stairs was quite empty. I shouldn’t be here, I thought. I should walk away but then I began to wonder what the second floor had. Maybe I could take a peek and go back downstairs before anyone else noticed. 

With a deep breath, I jogged up the stairs and stepped on a grey carpet that covered the entire second floor. Just as I suspected, there wasn’t anyone up here. Hesitating for a fraction of a second, I began walking down the hallway, humming under my breath until I stopped at one particular room. The door was opened a bit and I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering if anyone was inside. 

I bit my bottom lip and then pushed the door open, taking a step inside. I stared at the room as my mouth hung wide. Was this even considered a room? It could be considered as a living room! 

I walked deeper inside as I scanned the place. There was a huge bed in the middle of the room and there was huge balcony outside. There was also space where there was a couch and a television with a coffee table separating them and also a small refrigerator next to the couch. I walked around, not touching anything. 

This place reeked of sophistication and richness. This was practically a small apartment in a house. How was this even possible? 

“It’s Arthur’s,” someone said, shocking me. I quickly turned around and saw Lancelot leaning against the door frame, looking at me with a small smile. “Big room, huh?”

“I wasn’t snooping around if that’s what you’re wondering,” I said. “I just….”

“I know,” Lancelot chuckled as he entered the room. “How’s the party?”

“Fine, I guess,” I lied. Lancelot seemed amused a bit before he nodded and we both stood there in silence for a while. From the corner of my eyes, I saw Lancelot shuffling his weight from one foot to the other, biting his lips a few times as if he was trying to gather his courage to say something. At last, he did. 

“Uhm, this might sound a little odd,” Lancelot said as he broke the silence. I quickly snapped my attention towards him as I raised both of my eyebrows. “But…is Gwen seeing anyone now?”

I blinked at the question before I grinned. Lancelot seemed to be taken back a bit and flushed red the longer I stared at him. “I don’t think she is,” I said. “You fancy her?” I asked, bluntly.

“No,” Lancelot immediately said and then his shoulders drooped. “Well…yes.”

“Don’t worry,” I said as I patted his right shoulder. “Secret’s safe with me. She’s a nice girl and I think you’ll be the right guy for her. You should tell her.”

Lancelot smiled at him, looking grateful. “Thanks, Merlin.” 

I gave him a thumbs up. 

“Merlin, Lancelot,” a familiar voice said. I looked over Lancelot’s shoulder to see Will grinning at the entrance of the room, looking at us with a gleam in his eyes. “I’ve been looking everywhere for you guys.”

“Well, here we are,” I said, opening my arms wide. Will chuckled. 

“This is such a cool party,” Will said. “How is it for you guys so far?”

Lancelot chuckled. “Good,” he said. Will then looked at me and raised his eyebrows. 

I just grunted a noncommittal answer which earned an amused looking Will. 

“What are you guys doing in my room?” Arthur said, walking into his room with a frown on his face. Lancelot grinned at Arthur before he walked past him, patting on his shoulder meanwhile Will retreated with a cheeky smile on his face. 

“Sorry,” Will said before he looked at me. “I’ll see you soon.”

With that said, Will and Lancelot walked out of the room, leaving me alone with Arthur, who had his arms crossed against his chest and looking at me. 

“Well?” he asked. “Aren’t you going to get out?”

“Uh,” I said. “Maybe.” 

“Maybe?” he asked, furrowing his eyebrows before he sighed and smirked. “Merlin, if you wanted to see my room, all you had to do was ask.”

I scowled at him. “I didn’t know this was your room, Arthur. I was just attracted to this room. Curious about it since the door was open.”

It took me a second to realise what I said before I turned red and spluttered out a response to an entertained looking Arthur. “This room…attracts you? Well, now that’s a first.” He then closed his bedroom door, causing me to back away a few steps as I eyed him warily. He grinned at me as his blues eyes sparkled. He walked towards his bed and sat at the edge. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. 

“What do you think, Merlin?” he asked. “You wanted to be here. You said you were attracted to this place. Doesn’t that mean you’re attracted to me? Well, I’m here.”

I took a few more steps backwards, holding back the shocked gasp as the words settled in my mind. “W—what?” I asked. My eyes were wide and I started to panic, my heart fluttering against my chest as I looked at the bedroom door, wondering how fast I could leave. “I’m not! I said the room, not at you! Oh God, forget what I said, that doesn’t sound any better. I’m in no way attracted to you!”

Arthur leaned back on his palms, grinning wider. The look on his face made me panic a lot more, unsure as to why I felt so flabbergasted. “I don’t!” I snapped before I started pacing. “Stop looking at me like that and twisting my words! I’ll leave, okay?” Before I did just that, a thought occurred to me. “Hold on, where’s Sophia? Aren’t you supposed to be with her? Does she know about this side of yours, Arthur?”

That was when he started to laugh, bright and loud as I stood there, staring at him, dumbfounded. “The look on your face is hilarious!” Arthur exclaimed as he continued to laugh. Mortification and embarrassment flooded in my mind as I clenched my fists together. I glared at him, a sudden sharp disappointment at the pit of my stomach made itself known. 

“Yeah, yeah, it’s so funny,” I snapped. “Fuck you!”

I was about to walk away when a hand circled my wrist and pulled me backwards. I ended up sitting on the bed next to Arthur, stunned. I looked at him, who looked back at me with a grin on his face, his cheeks flushed from laughing and his eyes twinkling. He squeezed my wrist and I felt myself relaxing a bit, the embarrassed flush still present on my face.

I snatched my wrist back and looked away.

“Stop laughing,” I said, almost with a pout.

“Sorry, sorry,” Arthur said as a few more chuckles escaped his lips. “Wow, I haven’t laughed like that in a long time. You should seriously consider comedy as your future job prospect.”

“Oh, ha ha,” I hissed. “Well, you just apologised, so hah!”

I glanced at Arthur and froze when I saw Arthur looking at me, a soft look on his face and an almost dopy smile on his face. “Yeah,” he said as he sighed and sat straighter. “So,” Arthur said. “Speaking of Sophia, what’s your deal with her?”

“What?” I asked, my mind still reeling at the look on Arthur’s face a moment ago. Then, Sophia’s name registered in my mind and I couldn’t stop myself from frowning. Arthur pointed at the look on my face. 

“There, why do you look like that whenever she’s around?” he asked. 

“Nothing,” I said, defensively. 

“You seem to dislike her,” Arthur said. His deductions were spot on but I wasn’t about to admit that, not when I was unsure as to why I disliked her. So, I lied through my teeth. 

“Dislike? No! Why would I dislike her? I don’t even know her.” 

He just simply shrugged at my response. “You just seemed to dislike her. I rest my case.”

“Well, you’re mistaken,” I mumbled.

Arthur hummed under his breath but he didn’t prod that topic anymore, much to my relief. We were silent for a few seconds before I said, “You told me I would fit in. I didn’t, Arthur.”

Arthur looked at me. “You did,” he said, voice low. 

I shook my head with a humourless laugh. “Are you kidding me? I’m not. I didn’t. I don’t even like this party. I told you I didn’t want to come. And you lied, by the way.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. “Lied?”

“Yeah,” I said as I turned to look at him properly. “You told me you didn’t fit in. You seemed to fit in fine to me. In fact, you seemed to have a perfect life.”

“Jealous?” he joked. Surprisingly, I found myself chuckling a bit. 

“Maybe,” I said. 

“Well, you shouldn’t,” he said, a sigh on his lips. “I don’t fit in, not really. I fit in because of who my family is. And to be honest with you, Merlin, your family is so much better than mine.”

“What do you—”

“You have a wonderful mother, Merlin,” he said slowly as he avoided my gaze. “Even if you didn’t have a father, a mother’s love—it’s more than enough.”

“Arthur…” I said, unsure of what to say. 

“Being the only heir with only your father to teach you,” Arthur said, voice blank. “It’s not that great. He doesn’t even act like a father.”

I kept quiet, looking at Arthur.

“He is never around and even if he does, I’m always never good enough,” Arthur said, groaning loudly as he slumped on his back on the bed. He looked at the ceiling as he continued, “I’m never enough.”

I felt my heart ache at that. Arthur looked so honest and sad. I didn’t know what to do. 

“You don’t know what its like,” Arthur whispered. 

I felt bad, for accusing him that he had it easy. “I’m sorry, I didn’t know…”

“Exactly,” he said as he looked at me. “You didn’t know. But you’re not afraid to admit it. You’re not afraid to be outspoken. I couldn’t afford to do that. It’s not allowed in my society but I want to, God, I want to break free and be myself for once. So, no, Merlin, I don’t fit in. But I _am_ being forced into the mould though.”

I bit my bottom lip, the silence afterwards was loud. “Why are you telling me this?” was all I could ask as Arthur looked at me with a tired smile.

“I don’t know. I just feel like…I could tell you about it,” he replied, sounding honest.

“You shouldn’t trust me so easily,” I whispered, the words got caught in my throat. “You don’t even know me.”

“Well,” he said. “Guess my heart decided to trust you after all.”

My eyes widened as I looked at him, my face flushed as I smiled him. My heart thumped loudly against my chest, the air around us felt light. “Well, thanks for that then,” I said and he smiled wider before he closed his eyes.

“You’re welcome.” Then, he added, “But this doesn’t mean you can be a total girl about this.”

I couldn’t help but to grab a pillow and slam it on his face. He snapped open his eyes and stared at me, baffled. 

“Did you just…hit me with a pillow?” he asked. I grinned and shrugged. 

“Don’t be such a prat, Arthur,” I said. “Or you’ll get a pillow to your face.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and slumped back on the bed, a smile playing on his lips. “Girl,” he whispered. 

I didn't hit him again but I did hug the pillow to my chest and looked away, biting my lips as I smiled.

 

***

 

I walked into the school, rummaging through my schoolbag for the books I needed for the first class of the day. After the somewhat heartfelt talk with Arthur, I had gone home, feeling giddy and smiling. Arthur had even smiled at me again, that soft fond smile that made him look like another person. My cheeks flushed a bit as I recalled of that look, shaking my head when I felt my heart thundering against my chest.

This feeling inside of me was still new. I didn’t know what to do about it, so I kept pushing it away. 

But something told me it wasn’t going to leave and I could only hold it back for so long. 

I sighed when I reached my locker, opening it up to shove my bag in. I was about to close the door when someone grabbed my arm, sharp nails digging into my skin and turned me around. I winced and snatched my arm from the grip, glaring at the offender. 

“What the hell?” I hissed when I realised it was Sophia. Her lips were pulled in a sneer and she looked menacing, her eyes flashed in anger. 

“I don’t know who you think you are,” Sophia said, her voice low. “But stay away from him.”

“What?” I said, confused and irritated.

“Arthur!” Sophia said. “Stay _away_ from him! He was supposed to hang out with me last night but you know what he did instead? He brought you to his room and stayed with you there. _What_ the fuck were you doing with him in his room, huh?”

I glared at her. “What the hell are you talking about?” I snapped. “Go away. Why are you even here?”

“Stay away from him,” she hissed as she poked my chest. 

I slapped her hand away and rolled my eyes. “Look, I don’t know who _you_ think you are but if you touch me one more time, I will report you.”

“Report me?” Sophia said, eyebrows raising with a disbelieved look on her face. “Watch it, idiot. You don’t know who you’re messing with. Stay away from him. This is your last warning.”

Before I could retort, she stormed away, her shoes clicking on the floor. I opened my mouth and then closed it, shaking my head at the ludicrous display. It wasn’t my fault Arthur decided to hang out with me. It wasn’t my fault she probably did something to chase him away. Why was she coming after me?

I closed my locker door and winced when I felt pain on my arm where Sophia gripped me. I knew there must be finger-shaped bruises on there and sighed. 

“Merlin!” Morgana said as she spotted me when she rounded the corner of the hallway. I smiled at her and waved, deciding to keep the Sophia incident to myself. 

“Hullo,” I said and she slapped my arm. 

“I heard from Will that you were in Arthur’s room,” Morgana said as she crossed her arms against her chest. 

“Does everyone know?” I asked, frowning. Morgana rolled her eyes.

“No,” Morgana said and then cocked her hips to one side. “Explain.”

“Just,” I said and then shrugged. “We talked.”

“Oh?” Morgana said, curiosity crawling into her eyes. “What about?”

I opened my mouth before I grimaced, remembering what Arthur told me and I closed my mouth, feeling protective of the secret Arthur told me. “I can’t,” I said, voice low. “But it’s about…you know, his life at home.”

Morgana’s lips thinned and she nodded. “Oh,” she said. “Arthur…never speaks about Uther. He rarely even complains about him. But—he spoke to you about him?”

“Yeah,” I said, biting my bottom lip. 

Morgana gave me a sad smile. “Arthur is a good boy, Merlin. He has his flaws, yeah, but he’s trying. And it certainly doesn’t help when he has a father like Uther breathing down his neck. Thanks for listening to him, Merlin.”

I couldn’t help but to smile at her. “They say don’t judge a book by its cover,” I said. “Guess I know why now.”

She patted my shoulder and then pointed to the hallway. “Come on, let’s get to class.”

“Right,” I said before I swung an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close. “So, what’s this I hear about you chatting with Will?”

Morgana flushed and glared at me. “Merlin,” she began and I grinned. 

“What?” I asked, faking innocence. “I just want to know.”

“Merlin,” she huffed and smiled at me. 

I smiled back at her.

 

 


	8. Meeting the Impossible

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked, and gave this story kudos. Until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

I was sure that my legs were going to snap into two from all this running I was forced to do. I didn’t know what possessed Arthur today but we had done nothing but sprinting, running and drills like it was going out of style. In fact, Arthur looked tensed too, barking out orders and yelling at everyone who he deemed wasn’t doing a good enough job. 

And guess what? That person usually meant me. 

All of this started when Coach announced to us that the first team we were going to go up against was this team called ‘The Magicians’. I almost laughed at the name but when I looked around, no one else found it funny. In fact, they looked irritated and annoyed when Coach had delivered the news. Arthur had looked downright horrifying, cheeks flushing red and anger in his eyes. 

So, this must be the team we were practising really hard to beat. 

The infamous arch-nemesis of my football team.

“Merlin! Run faster!” I heard Arthur yelling at me for the umpteenth time today. I sighed, irritation bubbling under my skin as I looked at him with a glare. A minute later, he yelled— _again_. “Mer _lin_!”

“Oh my God,” I mumbled under my breath, feeling breathless. It didn’t help that the weather today was hot as hell as well. “I am running as fast as I can, you dollophead!” I yelled back, voice louder than I expected. Arthur had only gritted his teeth and gave me a pointed look. I stared right back at him, unimpressed. 

Then, I _fell_. 

Of course. 

I tripped over a rock and fell flat on the grass. On my _face_. 

“Merlin!” Lancelot exclaimed in worry as he ran towards me. Everyone else had stopped running as well, joining Lancelot to circle around me. I just let them circle me while I lied there, unable to move because my muscles gave up on me. The sweat pooled all over my body and I wanted nothing more but to close my eyes and let the world go dark. 

“Are you alright?” Lancelot asked as he tugged on my right arm. I was rolled on my back and I panted for air, staring at Lancelot with tired eyes. 

Just then, Will pushed through the crowd and crouched next to me, his eyes wide. “Merlin,” he said. “Are you okay?”

I gave him a weak smile. “Tired,” I mumbled. Lancelot sighed as he crouched next to Will, eyeing me meanwhile Percival and Gwaine hovered around me with identical worried looks on their faces. 

“Are you hurting anywhere?” Will asked, his eyebrows furrowed. 

I took in a deep breath and tried to push myself to sit up, aided by Will and Lancelot. I shook my head and groaned under my breath when I felt a bit dizzy. My face was hurting too but I was sure I didn’t break anything. “I think I’m alright,” I said. “Is my nose bleeding?”

“No,” Lancelot said as he looked at me closely. “But you look messed up with mud caking on your cheek.”

“Great,” I mumbled and wiped my cheek, grimacing at the ache in my arms.

“Are you feeling dizzy?” Will asked and I shook my head. 

“I did for a while but now it’s gone,” I said. Will sighed in relief and nodded, before he grinned wide. He slapped my back and said, “Never seen you run that fast, mate!” Lancelot gave me a relieved smile as well. 

“For goodness sake,” Arthur said as he pushed past his team to stand before me, looking annoyed. “Can’t you do even a single thing without falling flat on any parts of your body?” 

I looked at him, blankly. I had been here for the past three hours, doing nothing but running like I was being chased by a wild hog and I wasn’t going to let him lecture me about how clumsy I was when he was literally the reason why I fell.

So, I stood up, Will grabbing on my arms. I wobbled a bit but managed to keep myself upright. “Arthur, I’m tired,” I said and without another word, I pushed Will off and started to walk away—limping. 

“Tired?” Arthur asked. “Yes, of course, you’re tired when you barely done anything!”

I decided to ignore him as I limped towards the benches. I knew Arthur was staring at the back of my head and everyone had gone silent, but I didn't turn around to snap at him. I felt exhausted and Arthur’s insensitivity was going to drive me up against a wall. It was best if I regrouped elsewhere. I had practised enough. It seemed forever before Arthur finally told everyone to take five and dismissed them. 

I went to the bench only to be greeted by a worried Morgana. “Are you alright?” she asked and I nodded. 

“I’m fine, just my legs are aching,” I said, wincing as I sat next to her.

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Morgana said. “Arthur shouldn’t have worked you that hard. God, he gets lost in his head sometimes and forgets we’re not all him.”

“Well, for whatever reasons it may be,” I said, half annoyed. “I’m tired. I’m done with today. I’m going to step back from practising today.”

Morgana thinned her lips but she nodded, patting a hand on my shoulder before I let my head drop on her shoulders. She then dragged her hand through my wet hair. 

“It’s really wet,” I said. Morgana gave me a grin.

“It’s fine,” she said. “You earned it.”

I rolled my eyes but I didn’t stop her, instead, I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. She handed me a bottle of water to sip on while I rested, all the while, ignoring Arthur. And Arthur didn’t call me back on the field either.

 

***

 

I walked into the changing room after I had taken a twenty minutes nap on Morgana’s shoulder. By the time I was woken up, everyone had left and practise was over. Will had smiled amused and Morgana patted me on the back. 

“Do you want us to wait for you?” she asked and I shook my head.

“Thanks, Morgana. And I’ll see you both later,” I said and she smiled, waving goodbye as she left. Will told me to call him later tonight and he left as well, following Morgana out. I stared at them both, wondering for a second if they were together. I took in a deep breath and made my way to the changing room. As expected, there were not many people here anymore. Most of them had left. 

The few remaining that were still here had asked me if I was alright now and wished me well before they left as well. I rubbed my neck as I walked to my locker door, realising that I had some errands to run before I could go home. I needed to run to the store to grab a carton of eggs for Mum, who had grown too busy to pick me up from school nowadays, which wasn’t a big deal since I could take the bus home, and I saw a new bookstore opening and I thought I would pop in for a bit. 

With that thought in my head, I opened my locker door, looking at myself in the mirror and holding back a gasp at how tired I looked. My face was muddy and my hair was a mess. I sighed and took my school uniform—sans the jacket and tie—and closed the door, only to gasp again in shock when I saw Arthur, leaning against his own locker door, completely dressed in casual clothes, staring right at me. 

“What?” I snapped, still very much upset at his insensitiveness from before. 

Arthur looked guilty as he said, “Were you really tired?”

I raised my eyebrows at him before I nodded. “Yeah,” I said. “I’m going to shower.”

Arthur nodded and I walked past him, grabbing a spare towel and huddling to one of the free shower stalls. It was such a relaxing shower. I felt my muscles loosening and whatever ache I had been less pronounced by the time I was done showering. I changed into my clothes and towelled my hair as I exited the shower stall. 

I held my dirty jersey shirt and pants, knowing I had to wash them today. 

I looked up and stopped when I saw Arthur, sitting on the bench and playing with his phone. He snapped up to look at me and smirked, standing up as he pocketed his phone in his jeans pockets. 

“Took you long enough,” he drawled. I stared at him for a while, confused. Arthur rolled his eyes and smiled at me. Ever since that day at the party, Arthur had been kinder to me. We weren’t exactly close as friends, but he wouldn’t—bully me anymore. He would stop me at the hallway if he saw me to say hi or he would talk to me before practise started and when practise ended. 

He also smiled at me a lot more. Which admittedly was a good look on him. I cleared my throat as I felt my face flush at that. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked as I walked to my locker, opening up to grab my jacket and tie. 

“Waiting for you,” Arthur said, like it was the most obvious thing in the world. I stopped and turned to look at him, eyebrows raised. 

“You…were waiting,” I said. “For _me_?”

Arthur nodded at me. “Yes,” he said. “Do catch on. Now hurry up.”

“Wait,” I said, even more confused. “Since when do we—what—since when do you _wait_ for me?”

“Since now,” Arthur replied without missing a beat. “Are you coming or not?”

“Coming with you to where?” I couldn’t help but to ask even if I followed him out of the changing room anyway. We walked down the hallway and I got to my locker. I grabbed my bag and shoved my clothes into it, glancing at the blond from over my shoulders, wondering what was going on. 

“I don’t know,” Arthur said as he dangled his car keys. I frowned and closed the locker door before looking at him. I eyed the keys and then looked back at him. He had a smug look on his face, his eyes gleaming in mischief. “Where do you want to go?”

“Oh, so you’re being my driver now?” I asked.

Arthur shrugged. 

“Come on,” he said as he walked away. I was forced to catch up to him, now curious as to what Arthur was planning on doing. It couldn’t be that Arthur was driving me around for nothing. There must be something he wanted. But what?

We ended up at the school’s carpark and I saw Arthur walking to the same car that he used to pick me up from my house that day. I sighed and walked to the passenger seat, deciding on entertaining Arthur’s bizarre mood for a bit. I closed the door next to me and tossed my bag at the backseat. Arthur got in as well, taking in a deep breath as he closed the door and started the engine. 

Then, we stayed there, sitting in our seats, Arthur staring ahead with his fingers drumming on the steering wheel meanwhile I stared right at the side of his face, eyebrows raised. 

“Could you please,” I started. “Explain to me what’s going on?”

“Well,” Arthur said as he looked at me. “If you must know, God knows I haven’t told you this a thousand times already, I’m driving you.”

“Yeah,” I said. “But to where?”

“I don’t know,” Arthur said. “Where do you want to go?”

I just stared at him. 

“Arthur,” I started. “Are you on meds or something? What are you even doing?”

He looked a bit surprised at that. “Merlin,” he said with a little frown. “Are you actually turning down a ride to wherever you want?”

“I’m shocked, that’s what I am!” I said. “Are you even listening to yourself?”

“Look,” he said, irritated now. “I’m trying to be nice here. If you really think it’s hard for me to be nice, then you can leave.”

I bit my bottom lip, looking at the hurt on his face. I sighed and smiled at him when I realised what was happening. 

“You’re trying to say sorry, aren’t you?” I said. “Forwhat happened at practise.”

Arthur’s cheeks reddened and he cleared his throat, looking away from me. “Yeah,” he said. 

The sincerity in his voice had made my heart skip a beat, my face reddening. Something warm wrapped around me and I couldn’t help but to smile wider at that. For a moment, I thought Arthur even looked cute. Ipushed those thoughts away and nodded at him. 

“You’re forgiven,” I said as I settled into my seat and pulled the seatbelt over me. “Alright, since you insist on being my ride today. I need to go to the store to buy some eggs.”

Arthur looked relieved as he glanced at me, giving me a quick smile before he nodded. He leaned over and opened the dashboard, pulling out his sunglasses. I rolled my eyes at him, earning another smile, a smugger one than before. 

“You don’t look cool, okay?” I said as he adjusted the rear-view mirror. He chuckled. 

“Merlin, you don’t need to lie,” he said. 

“Shut up,” I murmured, admitting to myself he did look cool. My face heated up again as I looked away. God, what was wrong with me?

 

***

 

“This is a grocery store?” Arthur asked as we walked inside the small store. 

“Well, yeah,” I said as I shrugged at him. “Haven’t you ever been in one?”

“No,” Arthur said. “We have someone else to do that.”

“Right, I forgot,” I said amused as I walked to the egg aisle with Arthur following me. I took a glance at him and noticed how he was looking around the store. I couldn’t suppress a smile as he seemed to be in awe ateverything that caught his eyes. He then snapped his attention at me and noticed my smile.

“What are you smiling at?” he asked as a smile appeared on his face too.

“Nothing. Nothing,” I said as I grabbed a carton of eggs. Arthur didn’t seem convinced but he didn’t pry. At the end, because Arthur kept getting distracted with different things and I stood at the side to watch him staring at them, amused, we spent more time than necessary before checking out.

It was fun though, I admitted. Who knew grocery shopping with Arthur was fun? 

“Home?” Arthur asked. I shook my head at him as I looked across the streets to find the bookstore that I wanted to pop into. “What? You want to go in there?”

“Yeah,” I said as I held up a finger at him. “Be back in a mo.”

“Merlin!” Arthur said as I crossed the road and walked into the bookstore. Almost immediately, I was drawn to a book about magic. It was the very same book I had looked up online a few days ago and wondered if this bookstore had it. Surprisingly, it did. 

“Merlin?” Arthur said from behind me, startling me from admiring the book. Thankfully, I didn’t drop the eggs. I gave him a pointed glare before I showed the book to him.

“I’m just going to buy this book,” I said. 

Arthur looked at the book before looking back at me, eyebrows raised.

My cheeks reddened as I huffed at him. “I like to read things like these.”

Arthur raised his hands before he gestured at me to walk past him. “I’m not judging,” he said. I rolled my eyes and went to buy the book before we exited the store. 

Then, Arthur, as if he was for the right time, asked, “Don’t tell me you like magic tricks too?”

I brightened at that. “Oh yes!” I said.

“Oh no,” Arthur said, giving me an amused smile. I scowled at him and before I could think about it, I hit his arm. We both went silent as Arthur stared at me, eyes wide and mouth hanging open. Then, he cracked up, laughing. “Was that supposed to be a _punch_?” 

I turned red and pouted. “Whatever,” I mumbled as I started to walk away. 

“Merlin!” Arthur said, laughter mixing in his voice as he tried to catch up to me. After a while, I found myself holding back a laugh as well even if I continued to walk away.At the end, I stopped walking and turned around to smile at him. Arthur’s cheeks were red from laughing and he had a wide grin on his face. “Sorry, it’s just—it’s funny. How did you kick that ball to my head anyway?”

We laughed again. I tried to hold back the giggles but Arthur’s laughter was infectious. It was nice, actually. Standing here with him, laughing. It filled my chest with something light. It made me breathless. 

“Arthur?” 

Someone interrupted us and our laughter faded as Arthur looked over my shoulders to see who it was. I saw his face becoming alarmed, growing a bit paler, his eyes wide as he opened his mouth and then closed it. I turned to look who could have elicit such response from him and froze when I realised who it was. 

“Sophia?” Arthur asked, surprised as she trudged up to him with her high heels, a frown on her lips.“What are you doing here?”

“I—what are _you_ doing here?” she asked, baffled. “I thought you’re supposed to be attending this interview your father set up.”

I snapped and looked at Arthur who was busy looking at Sophia with a panicked look. “I was but—”

“But what?” Sophia asked, her voice growing louder. “Arthur, you told me yourself you were working up to this interview all week! And your father was expecting you to get that internship. What are you doing here missing the interview?”

“Sophia,” Arthur said as he took a step closer to her. “Please, can we not talk about this here?”

“No!” Sophia snapped. “You worked hard for this, Arthur! This is your future! What are you—” Then, her eyes snapped at me and she froze. Fury coloured her eyes. “You ditched your interview to hang out with him?” she asked, shrilly. 

Arthur froze. “Sophia,” he began, desperately. “It’s not like that.”

“Oh, of course it isn’t!” she said and then she sighed. “You know what? When your father comes up to you and gives you a piece of his mind, don’t come running to me and complaining because I don’t want to listen.” With a glare at my face, she spat out, “And this is all his fault!” She stormed away and Arthur watched her leave. 

Meanwhile, I stood there, feeling my chest tightening and my mind blanking at what happened. What was that? 

Arthur sighed and looked at me, a tired look on his face. “Merlin,” he began and I shook my head, taking a huge step back. 

“Don’t,” I said, emotion clogging up my throat. “Don’t.”

I turned around and started walking away from him, feeling dizzy at what I had heard. I spotted a bus stop not far from here and I began my journey there. 

“Merlin!” Arthur yelled as he chased after me. “Merlin.”

He grabbed my arm and I snatched it back, turning around to glare at him. He took a step back, eyes wide as he looked at me. “Don't touch me,” I hissed. “What—what was that?”

“It’s,” he said and then stopped. “Merlin, it isn’t like what you’re thinking.”

“Oh?” I asked, feeling hurt that he lied to me. I knew that he didn’t owe me anything but I genuinely thought we were getting closer. Now, to only find out that Arthur ditched on his future because he thought I was his—what—escape?—it hurt. Was that all I was to him? A means to escape? Was that why he was being so nice to me? 

“So, you didn’t stay back so you could escape your life for a bit with me?” I asked. “You didn’t do all of this because I was the only one who knew about your father? Was that why you told me that, Arthur? Because look at this kid, maybe I can use him to escape my life for a bit and then when it all comes down crashing, I’ll just blame it all on him for distracting me and leave.”

Arthur looked at me, horrified. “No, no, Merlin, that isn’t why,” he said. He took a step forward and I let him, glaring at him. I bit my bottom lip, refusing to let tears gather in my eyes. I felt hurt, used, even though I shouldn’t be feeling like this. I felt cold. 

“Then, why?” I asked, almost whispering as my shoulders slumped. “You had an interview today, Arthur. Why did you ditch that? Why did you come here with me?”

“Because,” he said. “Because I didn’t want to go to that stupid interview, Merlin.”

“And you couldn’t have, I don’t know, gone somewhere else? Why did you come with me?”

Arthur remained quiet before he took in a deep breath and looked at me in the eyes. “Because, you’re my friend.”

My mind went blank at that. I looked at him for a while before I shook my head. “No, no, I’m not,” I said. 

“I’m telling the truth,” Arthur said. “I…You make me think that being myself is enough whenever I’m with you.”

My face flushed and my heart skipped a beat at that confession. I looked away from him to my shoes, the cold feeling left my body, the warmth coming back in to wrap me around it. 

“I didn’t want to go to the interview but I couldn’t tell anyone that,” Arthur said. “Sophia wouldn’t understand. She has this idea in her head that I’m going to be this hotshot lawyer and all and she’s going to be there right by my side. And Father…I couldn’t. And then there you were, you listened to me and you seemed like you understood what it’s like to be uncomfortable in your own skin.”

I looked at him then, staring at him as the words registered in my mind. “I do,” I confessed. “All my life, I’ve been bullied because they didn’t like something about me. When I was growing up, I had a hard time even making my mother smile because she would look at me and be sad, thinking about the man who she loved but didn’t love her back enough to stay. I was uncomfortable in my own skin for a very long time, thinking I brought sadness to everyone. I still do, occasionally.”

“But not to me,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “To me, Merlin, you’re the boy who had enough courage to stand up to himself and let me know that I was fine being myself with you.”

I chuckled and shook my head. “So, you weren’t using me as a distraction? This was a genuinely friendly outing?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, firmly. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you about the interview and with Sophia ruining the mood like that.”

I shrugged at him, a smile on my face. “You don’t owe me anything. I just got a little…sensitive there.”

Arthur chuckled as he finally placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. “You’re my friend, Merlin. I hope you know that now.”

I glanced at him. “You too,” I murmured, earning a grinning Arthur. The previous dark mood dissipated almost immediately after that. In fact, it seemed like something shifted between us too. Maybe it was because we finally said it out loud that we were getting close as friends. Maybe it was because Arthur let me see another layer of him that he didn’t show anyone else. 

Either way, something changed between us that day. And when Arthur dropped me off at home and waved me off with that same soft smile I saw him use at the party, I felt like something changed in me too as I blushed all the way back into my room, grinning like an idiot. 

Arthur was my friend and I was beginning to think what I felt for him was a bit more complicated than that. 

 

 


	9. The Strangest Thing This Feeling

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Here you guys go! I hope you guys like this chapter~ We're now probably dwelling into proper pre-slash Merthur. Hoh, this is exciting! Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Le me know what you guys thought and until next time~! -Krystal

 

 

 

I’d always known that being on the football team was going to bring lots of attention on me. What I wasn’t prepared for was just how _much_ attention I—of all people—received. One day I was just this regular boy who no one knew about and the next, I was being waved at when walking down the school hallway, people coming up to me to say hi and some even slapped a hand on my shoulder, grinning like we knew each other. 

It was oddly confusing and mostly amusing. 

The thought of me being the popular one for a change was plain hilarious. 

Will even raised his own eyebrows at the amount of attention I got this morning. 

“Never thought I’d see the day you becoming one of those popular jocks, mate,” Will said, giving me a weird look. I rolled my eyes, shrugging, trying my best to ignore the eyes on us as we made way to the first class of the day. “No, seriously, what did you do?” Will asked again, weirded out, when another someone that I never met before slapped a hand on my shoulder and said hi. 

I could only meekly say hi back before I quickened my pace to get to class, Will jogging next to me. 

“I have _no_ idea,” I said, shaking my head at the bizarreness that was this morning. Will shuddered before he placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed.

“Well, as long as the fame doesn’t go to your head,” Will reminded with a pointed look. I nodded, knowing that he didn’t mean it as an offence but more of a caution. I smiled and patted Will’s hand that was on my shoulder. 

“I know,” I said. We then separated into different classes. I waved at Will as he left for his English class meanwhile I went to my Biology class. 

When I walked into the classroom, I was almost prepared for everyone to stop what they were doing and look at me. And when they didn’t do that, merely glance at my direction with the exception of one or two people grinning and waving at me, I sighed in relief. 

Scanning the lab and realising that Arthur hadn’t arrived yet, I walked to the lab desk we were sharing this semester and sat down on my stool. I was about to open my book to the chapter we were going to be learning today when I heard the familiar laughter echoing from the hallway, growing louder as it neared the lab. 

Then, Arthur walked in with his group of friends. 

I couldn’t help but to stare at him, his head tossed back, a wide grin on his face and his blue eyes shimmering in mirth. It made me smile without consent, my cheeks flushed when I took in how— _mesmerising_ —he looked. I looked away from him the second the thought entered my head. 

I was still very much confused of my feelings for Arthur even if I admitted to myself, and that was _scary_ , that my feelings for the blond wasn’t probably all platonic. What it was—I wasn’t ready to find out. My heart skipped a beat, the tips of my ears reddening when I looked up from my desk to glance at him. 

Arthur looked so different from the first time I saw him. 

I bit my bottom lip, running a hand through my hair, resisting the urge to tug at the strands in slight frustration of my feelings. I looked back at my book, trying to read—and failing every time I caught myself listening to Arthur’s laugh or chuckle from across the lab. 

God, I sounded like a girl with a crush. 

My face coloured even more.

“Hey,” a familiar voice said, startling me from my thoughts. Looking to where there was a pair of feet standing near my desk, I looked up to find myself staring at Gwaine. My eyes widened, searching his face before I smiled. 

“Gwaine?” I said. 

“Hey,” Gwaine said as he took Arthur’s seat. He glanced at where Arthur was and then chuckled. “The Princess and his minions are amusing to watch.”

I grinned, shaking my head. “Princess?” I asked. 

Gwaine waggled his eyebrows. “My nickname for him,” Gwaine said with a shrug.

“Why Princess though?” I asked, wondering what the story behind the name was. Gwaine chuckled. 

“When I joined the team, the first thing I ever said to him was, ‘Why hello there, Princess.’”

I snorted, the grin on my face widening. “Wow,” I said. “And he didn’t deck you for it?”

“He wasn’t actually Captain at that time,” Gwaine said. “Besides, I’m a lovable guy.”

I chuckled. Gwaine waggled his eyebrows at me. “I still don’t swing that way, Gwaine,” I said, a cheeky tone in my voice. 

I didn’t acknowledge the sudden weird feeling in my chest at that statement. Like what I said had felt false in some way. Gwaine gave me a mock sigh. 

“Well, a guy has got to try,” Gwaine said, grinning. 

“Gwaine?” Just then Arthur arrived at our desk, staring at him before he dragged his eyes to me, raising his eyebrows. 

“Arthur,” Gwaine said with a wave of his hand. “Took you long enough to peel yourself from those vultures.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, shoving his hands into his pockets after he placed his books on his side of the lab table, currently occupied by Gwaine. “Don’t call them that,” Arthur scolded. “They’re my friends.”

“Yeah, sure,” Gwaine snorted. “And I’m the pope.”

Arthur frowned before he kicked Gwaine’s leg gently. “Get up and get lost,” Arthur said even though it sounded more amused than annoyed. Gwaine stood up from the seat anyway, placing a hand on my shoulder before squeezing. 

“Just so you know,” Gwaine said as he leaned in close, whispering. I was sure he was loud enough for Arthur to hear though. “If you ever want a new lab partner, I’m here.”

“Ha _ha_ ,” Arthur said, sarcastically. “Stop flirting with him and get back to your lab partner, Gwaine.”

“No need to get _huffy_ , Princess,” Gwaine teased, rushing off with a wink thrown at me before he could get decked in the head with a textbook by Arthur. 

“Gwaine’s insufferable,” Arthur huffed out, though it came out as fond than anything else. I giggled, earning a questioning look from the blond. “What?”

“What?” I asked, blinking. 

Arthur narrowed his eyes, the corner of his lips twitched to lift. “Why are you laughing?”

“Nothing,” I said with a shrug. “Just…you both are like frenemies.”

“Frenemies?” Arthur asked, furrowing his eyebrows in slight confusion. 

“You know, friends but enemies at the same time?” I said. Arthur blinked at me before he rolled his eyes and smirked. 

“You’re an idiot, Merlin,” he said. I frowned and nudged his leg. 

“Hey,” I said, a pout formed on my lips. “You’re a dollophead.”

“Not that word again,” Arthur murmured. “I don't think that word even exists!”

“Well,” I said. “I created it just for you.”

Arthur looked entertained, leaning in close with one elbow on the desk and cradling his face. The other hand, he grabbed the edge of my stool, hooking one of his legs on the stool metal rods. I watched him, unsure of what he was doing. I fidgeted under his stare, his blue eyes were sparkling in mirth in a way that sent my heart racing. 

I grew flustered the longer he didn’t say anything. I cleared my throat and looked away from him, feeling my face and the tip of my ears growing red. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said and I jolted when I realised his voice was close, almost breathing into my ear. “I’m honoured you thought about me so specially.”

Even more flustered, I turned to look at him, eyes widening and breath hitching in my throat when I realised our faces were close, once again our noses were at the verge of brushing against each other. Arthur seemed to have gone still as well as we both stared at each other. 

Before I could even squeak out a reply, the teacher walked in, breaking our trance. Arthur immediately pulled himself back, dangerously toppling on his stool as he gripped the edges of his desk tight. I turned to look at the teacher as well, my shoulders tensed and my heart beating loudly in my chest. 

I glanced at him and noticed that his cheeks were dyed in light pink. 

I bit my bottom lip and looked to my desk, feeling nervousness coil at the pit of my stomach. 

“Prat,” I muttered. From the corner of my eyes, I noticed him slowly relaxing, a curl on his lips as he glanced at me. I flushed when I realised he heard me and gave him a stink eye. He chuckled behind his palm and shook his head, mouthing at me the words ‘weirdo’. 

I found myself smiling at that as I looked away from him, deciding to focus in class. The nervousness vanished and the slight dread I felt went away. 

Despite the almost-kiss again…I was glad Arthur was taking it all in stride and didn’t freak out. 

I sighed. Now, if only I could stop obsessing over it and I would be fine too.

 

***

 

Football practise was as usual a hell for me. It seemed like whenever we had football practise, Arthur would have a hundred and eighty degree personality shift. From the boy who seemed to like teasing me and pushing my buttons to this devil pushing everyone to their limits and then some more with a scowl on his face and a loud voice. 

It was exhausting. But I didn’t begrudge him. I knew he really wanted us to do well for the first match and I knew, without having to be told, that I was the weak link. I didn’t complain this time as I trained as hard as I could, even when I felt like I was about to collapse to the ground any second. 

Just before that could happen, Arthur had shouted at us to rest and we were given the usual twenty-minutes break. Heaving for breath, I limped to the bench to sit and grabbed my water bottle, gulping the water down without hesitation. 

“Merlin!” someone called at me after I finished drinking my water. I was putting the cap back on my water bottle when I glanced over my shoulders to see Freya walking down the stairs to get to me. She was waving at me, a huge grin on her face. 

I beamed at her, smiling back as she sat down next to me. 

“Hey, Freya,” I greeted her. “What are you doing here?”

“I came here to see you practise!” she said, a fond tone in her voice. I felt my cheeks reddening at that, giving her a weak smile. 

I nodded at her before we settled down quietly. I fidgeted once in a while, glancing at her before looking away, unsure of what to say to her. Despite the fact that we were friends, I never actually had the chance to speak to her properly alone since we were always surrounded by Morgana and Gwen. 

She shifted in her seat before she sighed. “You practised well today,” she acknowledged, nudging to the field with her chin. I felt my face flush again as I rubbed the back of my neck, grimacing when I felt the sweat. 

“Thanks,” I said. “I hope it wasn’t too boring for you.”

Freya giggled, her cheeks pinking. “No,” she said. “It was actually nice to watch you all practise.” Then, under her breath, she added, “Especially you.”

My heart skipped a beat but I was more awkward at the admission than anything. I wasn’t too flustered but I was shy and unsure of how to respond to that. Freya looked at me then, hesitation in her eyes as she opened her mouth to say something—only to get cut off when Arthur yelled at me from the field. 

“Merlin! Time to get back to training!” Arthur said. 

“Alright!” I yelled back at him before looking at her. Freya gave me a smile, a bit dejected, before she sighed and stood up, patting her skirt. I stood up as well, shifting my weight from one foot to the next.

“I’ll wait for you after practise and we can walk home?” she suggested. I smiled at her, nodding. With a wave at her, I jogged back to the field where Arthur was standing and watching me. He raised his eyebrows when I finally stood in front of him. 

“So,” Arthur said before he slung an arm across my shoulders. I froze at the action, resisting the urge to squirm from under his arm and move away, my face felt hot again, this time accompanied by the flustered butterflies in the pit of my stomach and my mind blanking. 

It was a whole new feeling compared to what I felt with Freya. A whole new intensity. 

“So?” I asked, curling my fingers into fists so I wouldn’t do something irrational, like pushing Arthur off me like I was going to get burned. 

“So,” Arthur said, unaware of the internal war I had going on inside of me. “I see you have a girlfriend.”

I snapped my gaze to look at him, noting that he was grinning wide and a cheeky look in his eyes. I rolled my eyes at him. 

“What are you, five?” I asked. “No, she’s not my girlfriend, Arthur.”

“She so is,” Arthur said, chuckling. 

“And why do you think so?” I retorted. 

I froze when he actually touched my cheek, his fingers just lightly grazing the skin. It sent weird shudders down my spine and my heart once more stuttered in my chest. I held my breath, watching him with my eyes wide. Arthur though seemed to either ignore it or didn’t really notice how red and hot my face had gotten. 

“You blush,” Arthur pointed out before he pulled his hand away. “Every time she’s around.”

I almost bit my tongue from saying ‘Are you sure it’s because of her?’ and managed to stop myself in time without having to lose a limb because—what did that even mean? What was I trying to say with that? 

I scoffed and in pretence of annoyance, I pushed Arthur off me. 

“Whatever you say,” I said with a shrug. Arthur laughed before he patted me on my shoulder and then pointed to the rest of team. 

“Go on, find a team. We’re going to have a friendly no-stress match,” Arthur said. 

I gave him a mock gasp. “Arthur,” I said, touching my chest. “You’re so kind!”

Arthur slapped the back of my head. I yelped and rubbed it, pouting. “Stop being an idiot and get into a team, Merlin.”

“Prat,” I hissed out. Arthur only chuckled, amused and not at all threatened, and walked away to find a team. I followed him while glaring at his back even if I felt like smiling. 

Of course, with my luck, I ended up on the same team as Cenred. The pillock had returned to the team and hadn’t done anything more than just glaring at the back of my head whenever he thought I wasn’t looking. He seemed a bit docile but I wouldn’t put it past him to strike again if he got the chance, so I tried to stay away from him as much as possible. 

Until now. 

The other team where Arthur was the Captain was full, so I joined the other team. 

“Oh _jolly_ , you’re in my team,” Cenred sneered. I froze for a second before I frowned. I ignored him and found myself walking to Gwaine, who only placed a hand on my shoulder and squeezed. 

“Ignore him,” he advised and I nodded, feeling a bit safer that Gwaine was on this team. 

“Alright, the rules are simple, boys,” Arthur said. “The team to score five goals wins.”

Everyone looked eager to play since this wasn’t a practise match. It was just for fun and I was looking forward to playing too, even if I knew I couldn’t actually kick anything. 

The minute the game started, Arthur’s team dominated the ball. But my team wasn’t far behind. They tried stealing the ball before they, at last, managed to snatch the ball before one of the players from Arthur’s team tried to kick it into our net. I was laughing when I saw some of them ignoring all rules of the field and started to muck around, having fun and simply making the rules as they went. 

“That’s cheating!” I heard Lancelot yelling from Arthur’s team when his ball was stolen by one of my team players. They used their hands to pick the ball up and dropped it on the ground where my team populated. 

“Arthur didn’t specify any other rules besides to get five goals in!” Gwaine yelled back, laughing. Arthur groaned under his breath. 

“I should have known you lot will try and find a loophole!” Arthur yelled back but he was laughing and he wasn’t following any rules either. 

Gwaine finally managed to get the ball into his possession but he was surrounded by Arthur’s players. Until he saw me and said, “Merlin! Catch!”

He kicked the ball to me and I panicked. I got the ball to my feet but I wasn’t sure of what to do with it, so all I did was run and kick the ball at the same time, knowing that the other players from the opposing team were chasing after me. 

Before I knew it, Arthur managed to push me aside, thought not harshly, and got the ball into his possession and with a blink of an eye, he scored the first goal. His team celebrated, shouting and screaming while my team simply groaned even though they were smiling. 

I felt a bit guilty but my team members simply gave me a thumbs up, grinning. Then, my eyes landed on Cenred, who was storming up to me. I couldn’t even brace myself when Cenred pushed me down to the ground. I fell on my arse as I groaned, pain shooting up my spine. 

Cenred crouched down next to me before he gripped my right shoulder and slammed me flat on the ground, sneering above me. My eyes widened as my heart beat loudly in my chest in fear. 

“You’re fucking _useless_!” Cenred yelled at me. “We lost because of you!”

I frowned and was about to push him off when he was dragged back and pushed away. Cenred stumbled a few feet before he stood straight, glaring straight at Arthur, who was glaring right back at him. 

“What the hell did I tell you, Cenred?” Arthur said, his voice tight and laced with anger. Meanwhile, Percival had helped me onto my feet, checking me for injuries until I assured him that I was fine. I just had a slight ache on my arse from the impact. “This was for fun and games.”

“Can’t you see?” Cenred said, pointing at me. “He’s so useless!”

“ _Cenred_ ,” Arthur warned. “Stop it. You’re ruining the mood. If you’re here to just pick a fight, then _leave_.”

Cenred glowered at him. “You must be blind, Arthur. I’m going home. I don’t need to be in practise when none of you are taking this seriously!”

I watched him storm off and sighed in relief, rubbing my shoulder. Arthur then turned to look at me, running a hand through his hair as he walked towards me. He then touched my shoulder after nudging my hand away, trying to tug the collar off of my shirt to the side to look at it properly. I squirmed under his touch and pushed him away, tugging my collar back to the front. 

“I’m fine,” I told him and gave him a smile. He frowned, his eyes still trained on my shoulder. 

“Maybe I should bring you to the nurse’s—”

“ _No_!” I said. Arthur looked worried and a bit upset at the fact that I cut him off. “Arthur, I’m fine.”

Arthur looked at me for a few more seconds before he sighed and nodded. With that, he shooed everyone and we went back to playing the game, resulting in Arthur’s team winning. 

After practise was over, Freya rushed over to me, a frown on her face. “Are you alright? I saw what happened.”

I smiled and assured her just like I assured Arthur that I was fine. “I’ll see you in ten minutes. I’ll go and get changed.”

Freya bit her bottom lip before nodding. 

I, then, made my way to the changing rooms, once again aware that most of my team members had left. Lancelot and Arthur were the last ones there and just as I was opening my locker door, Lancelot had waved goodbye as well. 

Soon, it was just Arthur and I alone in the changing rooms. Arthur was rummaging through his locker but from the corner of my eyes, I noticed that he wasn’t doing anything. He simply had a frown on his face and his eyebrows were furrowed deep in concentration. 

“You alright?” I couldn't help but to ask. 

Arthur looked at me before his eyes landed on my shoulder. He seemed to hesitate for a second before he moved.

“Stay,” he said and I frowned, confused. I held back a squeak when I found myself pushed against the lockers and Arthur once again tugging open the collar of my shirt, pushing it to the side until my shoulder was bare for his eyes. I squirmed once more, trying to get him to move away but Arthur sighed and pushed the hand that I was trying to use to my sides, pinning it there. 

“Arthur!” I said, fidgeting until Arthur growled. 

“What is wrong with you?” Arthur asked as he stepped into my personal space, pushing me against the lockers once more. “I just want to check, Merlin.”

“Stop,” I said. “I’m fine! For God’s sakes!”

“I just, wait!” Arthur said. And when I still tried to push him away, he looked at me in the eyes and said in a low voice, “Merlin. _Stop moving_.”

There was something in his voice that had me obeying him and I stopped, looking at him in the eyes. My heart raced in my chest and there was that familiar tingle running down my spine. Stuck at comprehending the sudden blankness in my head, Arthur checked my shoulder, his fingers grazing my shoulder as I held back the urge to shiver at the zing that sparked on my skin, before he tugged my collar back to my front and stepped back. 

“ _There_ ,” he huffed. “I was just making sure you weren’t trying to avoid going to the nurse’s office when you really had to.”

My brain took its time to reboot, my face flushed as I looked away from him, stammering. I could feel his hand on my collar and his body heat radiating against mine even when he wasn’t touching me anymore. 

“P—Prat,” I stuttered, turning my back facing him as I looked into my locker. My hands shook a bit as I tried to grab my clothes. 

The zing I felt when he touched me was—weird and strangely nice. 

I didn’t know how to feel about that. 

I heard Arthur going ‘ _Okkkaay_ ’ under his breath before he went back to his locker, this time grabbing his clothes. 

“Do you need a ride home?” he asked. I cleared my throat, still affected at what happened. 

“No, I’m walking home with Freya,” I said. 

I heard Arthur snicker but I wasn’t paying attention to him. “I see,” Arthur said and when I glanced at him, he was smirking. “I knew you had a girlfriend.”

I didn’t even bother dignifying that with an answer. Arthur didn’t wait for an answer either as he walked away to one of the empty shower stalls. 

“See you tomorrow then, Merlin,” Arthur said over his shoulders. 

“Alright, see you,” I said back, sighing as I touched my chest, thumping it a few times. Then, I trailed my finger to my collar, fidgeting with it, flustered again when I recalled of how close Arthur had been near me. 

After I changed my clothes, I jogged out of the changing rooms and headed to where Freya was waiting for me near my locker. 

“Hey,” she said as I grabbed my bag from inside my locker and shut it closed. “Ready?”

“Sure,” I said. “So, are you sure your home is on the way to mine?”

“I think so,” she said with a sheepish smile on her face. “I hope you don’t mind me asking Will where you lived. He was there when I told Morgana and Gwen I wanted to walk home with you today.”

“No problem,” I assured her. We walked home together and this time our conversations weren’t stilted. In fact, they flowed quite well. She laughed at my jokes and she seemed interested when I told her about me. And the longer we talked, the longer I realised that what I felt for her and what I felt for Arthur were two different things.

My brain didn’t grow blank when she looked at me with bright eyes. My heart didn’t race in my chest so fast that I couldn’t catch my breath when she grazed her fingers against mine. And I certainly didn’t feel the tingly sensation running down my spine when she looked at me knowingly when I told her a lame story. 

By the time I reached home, I figured out what I felt for Freya. 

She was a nice girl. She was pretty too. And sometimes, she managed to fool me into thinking I had a crush on her. 

But now, it was clear. I only saw her as a friend. 

I sighed as I walked into an empty house. My mum was coming home late again. 

I walked to the kitchen and went to the fridge to grab a box of apple juice. As I leaned against the counter and sipped the juice, my right hand found itself tracing my shoulder where Arthur touched and my heart skipped a beat, butterflies in my stomach recalling the incident. 

It was official. What I felt for Arthur was definitely something else than just plain friendship. 

Whatever that was. 


	10. A Weird Friendship

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own anything but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: This chapter is again, another small milestone in the pre-slash Merthur category. We're going to head into slash territory soon, so buckle up! More drama and teen-everything to come! Thank you to those who have read, commented, bookmarked, subscribed and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

I stared at Arthur like he had lost his marbles. I get it. I was not a good player. In fact, I was the worse. But did Arthur have to drive that point to the core by suggesting this? 

“I think it’s best if I don’t,” I told him, eyeing him, watching his reaction. Half of me was convinced that he was just playing a prank but Arthur didn’t look like he was joking. In fact, he crossed his arms against his chest and raised his eyebrows. 

“Merlin, you’ll be fine,” Arthur said. “If you could kick that ball to hit me, you can kick it if you practised a bit more.”

“But…I suck at football,” I said, my tone dangerously close to whining. Arthur merely rolled his eyes. 

“Stop being a _girl_ and suck it up,” Arthur said. “You’re going to practise your kicking whether you like it or not.”

I resisted the urge to grab Arthur’s shoulders and shake him back and forth because where the hell did this come from? I was fine being a reserve but Arthur had frowned when Coach made the announcement and decided I need more training even when the first match was in another few more days. 

Everyone was on edge, including me. Hence, why I thought Arthur would jump in joy when I was placed as a reserve. Instead, he got it in his head that I had indeed some _hidden_ potential. 

“I’m starting to think you lost your mind,” I mumbled, earning a warning look from Arthur. I sighed before nodding. 

“Fine,” I said with a sulk. “I’ll train, whatever. I’m going to leave now and get changed.”

Everyone was still loitering about at the field, relaxing and talking after practise was over and I lingered around for a few more minutes too before I decided I would rather much like to go home and finish my homework. A-levels weren’t going to be writing on their own. 

Just when Arthur opened his mouth, a familiar shrilled voice called him. I didn’t have to look at the person to know who it was. Immediately, my lips turned down into a frown and my eyebrows furrowed, irritation bubbled underneath my skin. Arthur looked at Sophia, who trotted over to him with a smile on her face. 

Her eyes slid to me and her smile dropped. 

I scowled at her. Arthur glanced at me before he raised his eyebrows. I knew immediately what he was thinking about and I refused to comment on the fact I had once again looked like I would like to bury Sophia six feet under. I shrugged at Arthur and huffed, earning a confused but amused look from the blond. 

“I’m really going to leave now,” I murmured. Arthur nodded, furrowing his eyebrows a bit as he looked at me. 

“I’m your ride, right?” Arthur asked. I bit my bottom lip, looking at Sophia who was now standing in front of us, eyeing me with a look that clearly screamed ‘Scram, you piece of shit’.

“Nah,” I said. 

Arthur frowned. “No, it’s fine, I’ll send you home. Wait for me.”

I was about to argue but Sophia already stole Arthur attention by actually lip-locking with him right in front of me. There was this huge zing in my chest, a painful zing that I couldn’t hold back from showing on my face. I quickly turned around and left, heading to the changing rooms. 

Once I was inside, I let myself breath, leaning against the doors. 

What did Arthur see in Sophia anyway? She was rude and liked to think she ruled the ground she walked on. I sighed, running a hand down my face. Was I really going to go there?

So, Sophia annoyed me. But that didn’t warrant me to be thinking about her like that, not when she was Arthur’s girlfriend. Clearly, there _must_ be something more to her than meets the eye if she was Arthur’s girlfriend. 

I frowned at that. 

I still disliked her though and the painful zing tightened my chest as I recalled how her lips were against Arthur’s back at the field. 

“Well, well, _well_ ,” a voice said, jolting me away from my thoughts. “Look who _finally_ showed up.”

I looked up and blinked when I saw Morgouse. “What…,” I said, confused. 

She was leaning against the lockers, her smile sharp and deadly. 

I was about to ask her why she was here when the door behind me slammed open, pushing me down to the ground. I landed on my hands and knees, groaning a bit as the palms of my hands and knees grazed the floor. I moved to sit on the floor, feeling fear lodging in my chest when I realised it was Cenred. 

He was giving me quite a grin, his eyes gleaming evilly. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, scrambling to stand up. I took a few steps back from him when Cenred began to walk towards me. 

My back touched a wall and I flinched, breath hitching when Morgouse went to the door of the changing rooms, leaning against it. 

“Finally, I got you alone,” Cenred hissed as he stood a few feet away from me. 

“What—what are you trying to do, Cenred?” I asked, trying to make myself look stronger by squaring my shoulders and standing tall. But Cenred was bigger, stronger and before I knew it, Cenred had placed a hand on my shoulder and roughly pinned me against the wall. 

My breath hitched in my throat again as fear started to completely manifest in me. I started to struggle but Cenred growled and pushed his body up against mine in a way that was more of an intimidating tactic than anything else. 

“Now, you listen here,” he said, his voice gruff in my ear. It made my skin crawl. I struggled harder and bit back a groan when Cenred managed to sneak a hand behind my head and pulled my hair back. I was forced to tilt back in an uncomfortable angle, making me momentarily still as he said, “Did you think just because you have Arthur looking out for you that I won’t able to make your life a living hell?”

“C—Cenred,” I said, voice at the verge of anger and panic. “Let me go. Don’t do this.”

“Don’t do _what_?” Cenred asked, almost innocently. He pulled my hair rougher and I yelped, trying to reach for the hand to let go only for Cenred to pin both of my wrists above my head. I felt trapped and it disgusted me at how close his body was near mine. His breath puffing against my ear was disgusting and I was angry. 

I was angry that Cenred dared to do this and I was fearful, fearful at what might happen if I didn’t stop this right now. 

Without hesitating, I let my instincts take control and I kneed Cenred in the balls the second I got the chance. Cenred groaned loudly as he released me, dropping to his knees. 

Morgouse yelled at me as she hurried to Cenred’s side. I didn’t even look behind me as the adrenaline pumped through my veins, rushing out of the changing rooms. 

I ran and ran, trying to look for somewhere that would make me feel safe and at the end, I ended up at the field. Arthur was still there, sitting at the bench while Sophia sat next to him. I didn’t even know I had tears in my eyes until I stopped running, standing at the edge of the field, panting for air as I collapsed on the ground, curling my knees to place my face in between them. 

I took in a few deep breaths, feeling dizzy as the panic attack gripped me tight. 

My mind became blank and I didn’t know what to do as my body trembled. 

Then, I felt a pair of hands touching my face and I flinched, horribly. Before I knew it, I was dragged into a hug, my face mushed against someone’s chest. I weakly struggled, trying to catch my breath but then I heard _his_ voice in my ear, and I calmed down. 

“ _Breathe_ , Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice low and kind. The hands on my body tightened as I buried my face against his chest, following his instructions. “Just follow my breathing pattern. Come on.”

I tried my best and for a while, it didn’t work.

“Merlin, Merlin, I’m here,” I heard Arthur assuring me. “You’re safe here, with me. I’ll protect you. You’re safe.”

Then, I began to calm down.I took in a few more deep breaths before the buzz in my head went away and I felt better, safe, warm. I buried my face deeper into the warm chest. In response, Arthur simply hugged me tighter. 

That was when I heard murmurs and someone touching my hair and asking me things. I blinked open my eyes before I pulled away a bit, looking up to notice that Arthur had a worried look on his face. He was looking down at me, a hand raised to touch my cheek. My heart raced in my chest and my face reddened and then—

I snapped out of my trance and immediately pushed Arthur away, embarrassed. 

Arthur hesitated before he unwound his arms from me and sat back on his heels. 

I rubbed my face as everyone gathered around me. Lancelot and Gwaine were kneeling next to me, both had worried looks on their faces as well. 

“Merlin?” Gwaine said, his voice soft. “You alright there, mate?”

“Fine,” I croaked out, wincing at the soreness in my throat like I had been screaming. 

“What happened?” Arthur asked, still hovering close to me. I looked at him before I shuddered, remembering what happened in the changing rooms. 

“Did something happen in the changing rooms?” Lancelot asked. I nodded. 

“Oh…man,” one of my teammates said, catching Arthur’s attention. “I saw Cenred leaving a minute after Merlin left. I didn’t think anything about it but…”

Panic rushed into my vein when I saw Arthur tensing. 

“Did he do something, Merlin?” Lancelot asked, placing a hand on my shoulder. 

“I, uh,” I started, licking my lips, unsure on how to tell my friends about what happened. 

“He touched you, didn’t he?” Arthur asked, his voice low and filled with restrained anger. 

“He—he didn’t punch me or anything,” I said. “He just pushed me up against the wall and tried to talk down to me.”

Arthur stood up and from the way his fingers were curled into fists, I knew that he was about to either punch Cenred or start a fight in some other way that only Arthur could. I stood up, Gwaine holding on my elbow. 

“Arthur,” I started. 

“I’m going to see to this once and for all,” Arthur seethed as he pushed past everyone, heading for the doors. Alarmed, I chased after him, holding his arm and halting him. 

“Arthur, no!” I said. Arthur tensed. 

“Let me go,” Arthur said as he looked at me. He shook his arm away only for me to grab it again. “ _Merlin_.”

“No,” I said. “Don’t—don’t do something that you’ll regret. I’m fine, okay? I kicked him in the balls and ran. I’m…I’m fine.”

“If he had the nerve to push you up against the wall, he _will_ have the nerve to do something else, Merlin,” Arthur said as he snatched his arm away again. 

“You’re going to punch him, Arthur!” I said, earning a look from Arthur.

“And you want me to _not_ punch him?” Arthur asked, almost in disbelief. He looked angrier if that was possible. I winced at the look. 

“Look, Arthur,” I said. “You helped me back there. I’m _fine_.”

“No, Merlin,” Arthur said as he turned around to face me properly. “He could have _hurt_ you, you idiot. He’s stronger than you, faster. You’re lucky you managed to escape for now.”

I felt offended at that. “Arthur, I’m not _actually_ a girl,” I said. I knew if Morgana was here, I would get punched in the face for saying something like that. But I began to feel like I _was_ being treated like a girl. Sure, I was weaker than the rest of them but I was still a boy through and through. 

I could still defend myself if I needed to. 

“This is _not_ funny, Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice low, lacking of anything friendly. “I will see this through. If you don’t want to be around for that then leave.”

I growled. I sunk my fingers into Arthur’s arm, feeling dissatisfied when he didn’t even react to it. 

“I can defend myself!” I yelled at him. “I don’t need you to come to my rescue all the time! I’m not yours to protect or defend or whatever it is you got in your mind about me.”

“So, we’re not friends, then?” Arthur demanded as he pulled his arm away once again and pushed me backwards a bit. “Is that it? I can’t even protect you as a friend? We’re not friends?”

“I didn’t mean it like that,” I said, anger burning in my veins. “You’re making this into a big deal. Just leave it alone, Arthur! Stop being so annoying!”

Arthur’s jaw clenched. “ _Fine_ ,” he spat out, his voice filled with anger and venom. I winced at the tone, my heart thundering against my chest as the anger in me drained out. “Fine, if that’s what you so fucking want, then fine. I’ll leave it alone. I’ll leave _you_ alone. It’s nice to know what you really think of me.”

“Arthur,” I began but he left. He left me standing there, feeling guilty. I knew I didn’t imagine the flash of hurt in his eyes as he left either. I felt tears gathering in my eyes, angry all over again, only this time at myself. I didn’t want Arthur to get into trouble because of me. 

He shouldn’t have to go through that much for me. 

I huffed a shuddering breath as I ran out of the stadium. I wiped my eyes as I walked around the school building, feeling sad. 

Why couldn’t Arthur understand that?

 

***

 

“Hm?” I said as I looked at Mum. She raised her eyebrows from where she was leaning against the kitchen counter. 

“You’re not listening to a word I’m saying, are you?” she asked, amused. 

I sighed, giving her an apologetic smile. “Sorry, Mum,” I said, feeling my heart giving out a painful thud as I remember what happened a few hours ago with Arthur. “I just have a lot on my mind right now.”

Mum hummed before she walked to the kitchen table and took a seat in front of me. I looked down to the homework currently opened on my desk before I leaned away from it, running a hand down my face. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” she asked. 

I shrugged. “I think it’s my fault?” I said. “But I know that what I did was right.”

Mum nodded. “What happened?”

I bit my bottom lip for a second before I said, “Arthur’s mad at me.”

Mum blinked at that. “Why?”

I didn’t want to tell her about Cenred. It wasn’t because I didn’t want her to do something about it, but mostly because I really needed proper advice on Arthur and Cenred was actually not a huge problem for me. I could easily tell Coach or heck, Arthur would do it for me if I wanted to get Cenred off my back. 

Well… _maybe_. 

Now, I wasn’t so sure if he would continue to care for me, not when I seemed to have hurt him. 

“It’s just about something,” I told her, vaguely. “He got angry because I didn’t want his help and I told him I could do it myself and he took it the wrong way. Now, he’s mad at me.”

“I’m sorry to hear that, love,” Mum said with a gentle smile. 

“I was trying to—I didn’t want to inconvenience him, Mum,” I told her. “I was just trying to make our friendship—less demanding.”

“Love,” she said. “Maybe he _wants_ to help you. Friendships are about give and take and shouldering each other’s burden. Arthur seems to be the type of boy who wouldn’t mind taking care of you when you need to be taken care of.”

I blushed as I looked at the table, my fingers rubbing circles on the wood. 

“I know,” I said with a groan as I slumped my forehead on the table. “But I still wanted him to—not burden himself so much. He has a lot going on in his life. He doesn’t need me to become another problem.”

“Merlin, you can _never_ be a problem,” Mum said, a tone of disapproval in her voice. “I don’t think Arthur is the type of person to even think about someone he calls a friend like that.”

“I guess,” I conceded. “I just wish I could talk to him and explain, but at the same time, all I want to do is hide.”

Mum became silent for a while before she said, “Well, you see,” she said as I placed my chin on the table to look at her. “I’ve been invited to dinner tonight by my latest client to celebrate him investing in the company I work in. The client’s name is Uther…Uther Pendragon.”

My eyes widened as I pushed myself to sit up, looking at her in the eyes. “What?” I croaked out. “You’re going to eat dinner with Uther?”

Mum nodded. “We’re going to eat dinner at his house. Would you like to come? Maybe Arthur will be there and you can talk to him.”

I frowned, slumping on my seat, already feeling prickles of uneasiness at that. I didn’t like Uther for what he was doing to Arthur. Even Morgana had said that he wasn’t the best father in the world to the both of them. 

But—I would get to see Arthur if I went. _If_ he was there. 

At least, Arthur wouldn’t be subjected to his father’s presence all alone. 

I bit my inner cheek before nodding at her. “Alright, I’ll tag along,” I said. 

Mum nodded, smiling at me before she stood up. She walked to where I was and pressed her lips at the crown of my head. “Alright, love,” she said. “Get ready at six.”

 

***

 

Looking out of the windows from inside of my Mum’s car, the first thing I saw was a huge gate with the letter P on it. The gates opened immediately when Mum drove her car on the driveway and before we knew it, someone was waiting for us at the front porch. 

Mum and I got out of the car and watched as the man took the car keys from her and got into the car to drive it away. I furrowed my eyebrows as I glanced at Mum, who seemed amused as we both stood at the bottom of the stairs leading to the front door. 

“Wow,” I breathed out. 

“The life of a rich person,” Mum added with a nod before she patted my shoulder and pointed to the front door with a jab of her thumb. “Let’s get going.”

I followed her up the stairs until we were standing in front of the door. Mum then rang the doorbell twice before the door swung open, revealing Morgana dressed in a casual blue dress that reached just below her knees. 

“Merlin!” she said, her eyes wide. “Didn’t think you were coming!”

“Morgana?” Hunith said, a bit surprised. 

Oh yeah, I had forgotten Mum had no idea about Morgana and her integration into the Pendragon’s family. Morgana smiled warmly at Mum before she waved. 

“Come on in, Hunith,” she said. Hunith stepped inside before she wrapped her arms around Morgana and dragged her into a hug. Morgana hugged her back tight. 

“Love, you’re here!” Hunith said as she pulled away. She looked at Morgana before she shook her head. “You look so beautiful, darling.”

“Thanks, Hunith,” Morgana said, a bit teary-eyed. “I’m a…Pendragon now.”

Hunith frowned as she listened to Morgana’s explanation as to why she had disappeared so suddenly. Morgana earned another tight hug. 

“I didn’t know you have met Morgana, Hunith,” a deep voice said as a man walked down the stairs, walking towards us with slow confident steps. I didn’t have to look at him long to know it was Uther. The infamous Uther Pendragon. 

“Uther,” Mum said, confirming my suspicion. “Yes, I’ve known Morgana quite some time before this. She’s Merlin’s friend.”

Mum then gestured to me. I gave Uther a smile, hoping it looked friendly and less intimidated as I was looked at with such intensity from the beady eyes. 

“Wonderful,” Uther said. “It’s nice to meet you, Merlin.”

“Yes, sir, you too,” I choked out, giving him another awkward smile. 

“Well, let’s get to the dining room then!” Uther said with a clap of his hands, a bright smile on his face. It looked kind of awkward on his face, like he wasn’t used to such smiles. Morgana eyed me and rolled her eyes. I held back a similar reaction. 

We walked to the dining room and I took a seat next to Mum meanwhile Uther sat in front of us. Morgana sat to his right and there was an empty spot on Uther’s left. 

“I’m sorry of my son’s tardiness,” Uther said, a look of disapproval on his face as he glanced at the empty spot in disdain. 

“Arthur?” I piqued, earning Uther’s gaze on me.

“Yes,” Uther said, drawling. “Do you know my son?”

“Uhm,” I said. 

“Merlin goes to his school,” Mum cut in. “He’s also friends with your son.”

“Oh,” Uther said, looking mildly interested. “And how did you come to befriend my son, Merlin?”

“Through joining the football team, sir,” Merlin said, trying hard to not to fidget where he sat. Uther hummed under his breath, looking contemplative. 

“I see,” he said. 

Just then, Arthur walked into the room, tugging at the sleeves of a very fitting dark-blue buttoned-up long-sleeved shirt. He paired it with a pair of tight and yet not _too_ tight black trousers as well as polished black shoes. 

“Sorry, Father,” Arthur said. “I was drying my hair.”

“Yes, but you should be apologising to our guests, not to me,” Uther said, a slight ice in his voice. Arthur winced but he simply nodded before he looked at Mum and then his eyes landed on me. He froze where he stood, his eyes boring into mine until I awkwardly looked away, crossing my legs under the table. 

“Y—Yes,” Arthur fumbled as he took a seat next to Uther. 

“Hi, Arthur,” Hunith said with a smile. 

“You’ve met him before?” Uther asked, sounding curious. 

Arthur cleared his throat. “Yes, I helped Hunith here with unboxing her stuff,” Arthur explained. “It’s nice to see you again, Hunith.” After a second, he added, almost under his breath, “Merlin.”

I gave him an awkward nod. “Arthur.”

“Well, this is good then!” Uther said as he signalled one of the butlers to bring out the food. I didn’t pay attention to all of that, instead, I was more focused on stealing glances from across the table, noting that Arthur was looking at me too. He looked confused at first before his face smoothed out into blankness. 

Morgana noticed the tension in the air and piped up with, “So, Merlin, how’s your training today?”

Uther and Mum didn’t bother to listen to us, instead, they continued on talking. Morgana actually stood up and moved to sit next to Arthur, dragging her plate with her. Uther glanced at her and gave her a look but Morgana simply ignored it. 

“It’s…fine,” I said, slow and steady, feeling blue eyes boring into my head. 

“Uh-huh,” Morgana hummed. “I see. What about you, Arthur?”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while before he replied, “Boring. _Nothing important_.”

I winced at that, feeling my lips thin. I looked at him and sighed. “Actually,” I said, earning Morgana’s attention. “It was a tiring, soul-draining day.”

Arthur scoffed in the back of his palm. “Of course it is.”

I gritted my teeth, feeling a flash of annoyance flaring in my chest. “ _What_?”

“Nothing,” Arthur said, looking away to continue eating. Morgana frowned at us before she sighed. 

She didn’t ask anything more of our day and changed the subject, to which I was thankful for and took the chance to get past this topic. 

After dinner, Uther and Mum retired to the living room to talk some more and Morgana excused herself. 

“I’m going to go see Gwen,” she said.

“What? At this time of the night?” I asked. “It’s almost nine.”

“There’s this concert going on,” Morgana said. “And Gwen thinks it’ll be fun to rebel once in a while.”

“Wow, _Gwen_?” I said, almost in disbelief that she would do such a thing. Morgana gave me a wicked grin. 

“Haven’t you heard that good girls have the most to hide?” she said with a laugh as she patted my shoulder and trotted up the stairs, no doubt to sneak out of the house to go see Gwen. I could almost imagine Morgana doing that. I smiled. 

I shook my head as I stood at the middle of the hallway, unsure of what to do. I didn’t know if I should go and see Arthur or if I should just take a break and clear my mind. It was obvious Arthur was still hurt about the things I said and I desperately wanted to make things right between us—but I just didn't know how. 

I glanced at the front door before I decided to go out. 

“Where are you going?” Arthur said, appearing behind me. I jolted away from the door in surprise, turning around to look at him. 

I stared at him for a while as he raised his eyebrows, waiting for me to reply. 

“Nowhere,” I lied. 

Arthur snorted. “ _Yeah_ ,” he drawled. “You’re not a very good liar, Merlin.”

“Right,” I said, looking down to my feet. The atmosphere between us was tense. It was like we were back to square one after the fight this evening. I couldn’t do it. I wanted to speak to Arthur. I looked back up at him, ready to speak when he spoke first. 

“Can we talk?” he said, his eyes wide and sincere and I closed my mouth, my heart skipping a beat. 

“Yeah, of course,” I said. Arthur nodded before he took a step towards me. “I didn’t know you lived here. I thought you lived—you know at that house.” 

“I don’t live here,” Arthur said. “That house where I held the party _is_ where I live. I just come here when Father really wants me around.” After a few moments of silence, he said, “Which is not very often.”

My heart ached at that. 

“Let’s go outside,” I said, feeling stuffy here. “Can we?”

Arthur nodded before he gestured to the front door behind me. “Okay.”

 

***

 

We walked around the backyard of the house. The backyard was huge. It almost seemed like Uther had a park in here. We were silent and for a while, it was nice. 

But then I remembered why I was here with Arthur and I bit my bottom lip. 

With a deep breath, I said, “I’m sorry.”

Arthur stilled for a second before he said, “For what?”

“For,” I started and turned to look at him. We both stopped walking, looking at each other. “For saying the things I said. I shouldn’t have said them. You aren’t annoying. You’re…”

“Well,” Arthur said with a shrug. “I can be quite annoying sometimes.”

“No, Arthur,” I said as I took a step towards him, feeling pained when I saw the hurt in his eyes. “I didn’t mean it like that. I just—I couldn’t let you do that.”

Arthur sighed, shaking his head as he tilted his head upwards. “Why?”

I frowned and looked to my feet. “I…I don’t want to be the reason you get in trouble.”

Arthur was silent for a minute before he said, “ _What_?”

I looked at him and then took a step back, wincing at the thoughts of me being an actual burden to Arthur. I waved my hands around. “You know! If you went after Cenred and punched him, you can get into trouble, Arthur. I can’t let you do that. I can’t let you do that for me. I’m not—I’m not worth the trouble, okay?”

“What the _hell_ are you talking about?” Arthur asked, annoyed. “You’re my friend, Merlin. I want to keep you safe. I want to protect you. Cenred hurt you. Or could have hurt you if you didn’t kick his balls and run. You had a bloody _panic attack_ at the field, Merlin!”

I squeezed my eyes shut, feeling tears gathering in my eyes at the pain and worry in his voice. “I know,” I said as I breathed out. “But despite it all, you have more things to worry about than just—than just me. You shouldn’t be shouldered with this responsibility. I can take care of myself. I’ll be fine.”

Arthur took a step towards me when I opened my eyes. 

He looked angry. Upset. 

“You _listen_ to me,” he hissed as he grabbed my arms. “You’re my _friend_ , Merlin. You are _not_ a responsibility. You’re my goddamn _friend_! I—I will not stand by and see you get hurt just because you’re a _martyr_.”

“I’m not a—”

“ _Shut up_ ,” he commanded. “I need you to listen to me because I don’t know where you’re getting these ideas about being a burden to me. You're not! How can you be?”

“How can I _not_ be?” I counterattacked only to earn a glare. 

“You’re an _idiot_ ,” he said but there was a slight tone of fondness in his words that sent blood rushing to my face and my heart racing. “You’re a self-sacrificing _idiot_. But despite it all, I still care for you. If I get into trouble, it’ll be my fault, not yours. Not even if I did for you because—I’m telling you this now and for God’s sakes you better listen because this is the last time I’m saying this—because, Merlin, you clumsy nerd, I’m _your_ friend. And I like being your friend. And I like making sure my friends are safe and happy.”

I sniffed, feeling more tears gathering in my eyes, dangerously close to running down my face. 

“You told me that you’re not mine but the truth is,” Arthur said, his voice low and quiet. The look of seriousness in his eyes was strong and intense and I couldn’t help but to be mesmerised by them. Arthur touched my cheeks then and my breath hitched. “You _are_ mine, Merlin. I admit, I think of you as _mine_.”

A shudder ran down my spine and confusion welled up in my mind. I knew that I should be feeling weirded out at the fact that I was claimed like that. I knew that I should be pushing Arthur away and proclaiming loudly that I was nobody’s. That I was my own person. 

But—

I _liked_ it. 

My heart was beating loudly in my chest and my face reddened. I could feel buzzing underneath my skin at where he was touching me and I was getting— _addicted_. I wanted more of it. It warmed my heart to know that I was his. 

It made me nervous with fluster and—something else. 

I closed my eyes and some tears escaped my eyes. Arthur swiped them away with his thumbs. 

“Gosh,” he breathed out. “You’re an _actual_ girl.”

I snorted, slapping his hands away and wiped my eyes. “I’m _touched_ , you prat,” I said, voice cracking as I turned my back facing him, not wanting him to see how dazed and happy I felt. 

I was startled when I felt a pair of arms wrapping around my waist, dragging me close to a chest. Arthur tightened his grip on my body until my back mushed against his chest properly. I froze, eyes wide as I held my breath. 

“What…what are you doing?” I asked, voice cracking. 

“Just,” Arthur said, his voice low as he placed his chin on my shoulder. “Let me hold you like this.”

“Why?” I couldn’t help but to ask as I slowly relaxed in his embrace, confused and yet, I wasn’t complaining. Arthur’s body was warm and strong against mine. It made me feel safe and I felt like I could forever be here in Arthur’s arms if he would let me. 

I couldn’t even tamper down a giddy smile on my face, my chest felt light and fluffy. 

“Just because,” Arthur said. And then of course, because he was a prat, he said, “You’re a girl and you need more than emotional assurance that you’re not a burden.”

I squawked at him, slapping at his hands that were gripping my waist, trying to struggle out of his grip, only for him to once again tighten his grip around me. 

“I am not a girl!” I said. 

“Shut up, Merlin,” Arthur huffed, amused. “You should soak this in. I don’t do this to my mates.”

I sniffed as I stopped struggling. “So, I’m special then?” I teased. 

Arthur hummed under his breath before he said the one thing that I never thought he would say. 

“ _You are special_.”

It was said with an air of confidence, like it was a fact. Like he meant it. 

It stopped my heart for a millisecond and thousands of butterflies swarmed in my stomach as I tightened my hands on his, a smile so big it was actually painful crept on my face as my face flushed.

 

 


	11. The Football Match

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Here it is~ We're almost halfway through the story! Woo! I felt like this chapter had a bit of a choppy flow to it and I tried to smooth it out as best as I can. I hope you guys like it! Also, I want to give a special thank you to [PymEmrys](http://archiveofourown.org/users/PymEmrys/pseuds/PymEmrys) for translating this story to Thai! I'm dedicating this chapter to you~ Thank you for your hard work! <33 I'll leave the link to the translation at the very beginning of this story. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

This was it. This was the night before the first game of the football season. This was what I had been training for this entire time. I would be lying if I said I wasn’t nervous. I was, I was also very terrified of what could happen tomorrow. From falling flat on my face to the potential ball getting kicked to my face, the scenarios were endless. 

I shook my head when my phone started to ring. I sighed and picked the call up. 

“Hey,” I said, slowly. I was exhausted from worrying about it the entire day. I lied on my bed, staring at the ceiling, only having my bedside lamp switched on to brighten my bedroom up. 

“Merlin!” Will said, his voice chirpy. I frowned, slightly irritated that Will could sound so happy meanwhile I was feeling anxious. “Hey, buddy!”

“Will,” I said, flatly. Will snickered from the other side. 

“You sound excited!” Will said. I scowled, tossing an arm over my eyes and sighing. 

“Shut up,” I whined. “You have no idea how nervous I am right now.”

Will hummed for a second before he said, “You know, you aren’t going to suck, right?”

My lips twitched into a smile. “How do you know?”

“I’ve seen you practise, mate,” Will said, his voice slightly serious. “I don’t think you’re that bad. Besides, aren’t you a reserve?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I am a reserve. But a lot of things can happen tomorrow. What if I end up on the field?”

“Then, you will do great,” Will assured. “Merlin, honestly, you aren’t as bad as you think. Sure, there’s room for improvement but you’re not bad.”

I chewed my bottom lip. “Is that why you called? To assure me I can do it?”

“I know you,” Will said, cheekily. “You always stress yourself out before the real thing happens. Always second guessing yourself. Hence, as your best mate, it’s my job to make sure you don’t stress yourself out too much.”

I smiled bigger at that, pulling my arm away from my face. “You’re a great friend, Will.”

“I know,” Will boasted. “You can’t get another friend like me, I know.”

I chuckled, rolling my eyes. “Of course,” I indulged him. “One and only.”

“That’s good you know that!” Will said, laughing. 

Just then, I heard my Mum calling for me. Her voice was muffled through the closed bedroom door. I rolled out of my bed and dragged myself to the door, pulling it open. “Hang on, Mum is calling,” I told Will. Then, I hollered from where I stood at the bedroom door. “Yeah, Mum?”

“Someone’s here to see you,” Mum yelled back from the bottom of the stairs. I blinked, wondering whowas visiting me so late at night. 

“Uhm, okay,” I said. “Send them up.”

I let the bedroom door remain open as I walked to my bed and collapsed on it on my back. “I have a visitor,” I told Will. 

“Who?” Will questioned, sounding as curious as I felt. I shrugged before I realised Will couldn’t see me. 

“Hang on, let me see,” I said as I looked at the entrance of the door. I heard footsteps approaching it before my eyes widened when I realised who it was that was standing right in front of me. I immediately sat up, blinking a few times at him, squeaking out, “Arthur?”

“What?” Will said, laughing from the other side. “It’s Arthur?”

“Yeah,” I said, baffled. “I’ll talk to you soon, Will.”

“Nah, I’ll see you tomorrow,” Will said. “Good luck, Merlin! We’ll be there supporting you from the bleachers.”

I smiled, looking away from Arthur to my lap, cheeks flushing and feeling touched. “Thanks, Will. See ya.”

The call ended with a click. I sighed as I tossed my phone next to me before I looked at the blond, hands in his pockets and leaning against my bedroom doorway, smirking. 

“Well,” I started, waving my hand at him in a ‘come in’ motion. Arthur walked into the room and closed the door shut, leaning against it. He squinted his eyes through the semi-darkness before he looked at the wall next to my door. He glanced at me and then he switched on the ceiling light. I hissed at the sudden change of brightness, shielding my eyes with a hand on my forehead. 

“What are you, a vampire?” Arthur asked, amused. 

“No, but I like the darkness anyway,” I stated, blinking a few times before I dropped my hand away from my face. I looked at him and smiled. “What are you doing here?”

“Just decided to drop by,” Arthur said with a shrug. 

I narrowed my eyes at him, tilting my head to the side, humming. “ _Right_ ,” I drawled. “You just decided to… _drop by_ ,” I said and glanced at my alarm clock. “At eight o’ clock at night?”

Arthur cracked a grin at that. “Well, when it comes to you, I tend to do the craziest thing.”

I blushed, looking away from him as my heart stuttered in my chest. Ever since that day at Uther’s house, with Arthur holding me with his arms around my waist and his chest to my back, his breath hot against the skin of my neck, he had been saying things like these often. 

It flustered me. It _pleased_ me. 

In some ways, I even _preened_ under the praises.

I should be baffled by it. Maybe I should even be panicked as to why I was acting like that whenever Arthur said such things. And yet, I didn’t. I felt at ease. Relaxed. 

I _liked_ it. 

“Shut up,” I murmured, clearing my throat. “No, seriously, why are you here?”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while as he moved around in my room, taking in everything. I followed him with my eyes, slightly amused at how intrigued he was with the stuff in my room. 

“Tomorrow’s the game,” Arthur said at last, deciding to sit at my chair near my desk, turning around to look at me. “I just wanted to check up on you.” After a second, he added, “To make sure you aren’t going to chicken out tomorrow.”

I snorted. “Jeez,” I said while crossing my arms against my chest. “That’s awfully kind of you, Arthur. Thanks.”

Either the sarcasm wasn’t settling in or he completely ignored because Arthur looked smug at that. “I know,” Arthur said, lips twitching into a smirk. I rolled my eyes before plopping on my back, staring at the ceiling with my hands intertwined on my stomach. 

“I’m nervous,” I admitted, my voice low and meek. 

“I know,” Arthur said, his voice lost all smugness and playfulness, instead, they were replaced with warmth and kindness. My cheeks burned hotter at that but I didn’t look at him. I allowed myself to smile, even if it was for a bit before I schooled my face into blankness. “You’ll be fine, you know.”

“Yeah,” I said, humouring him. “I’m just a reserve after all.”

“I wouldn’t count on that,” I heard Arthur say. I frowned before pushing myself up on my elbows, looking at him straight in his eyes. “Who knows what might happen tomorrow.”

“I really don’t want to get out on the field,” I said. Arthur raised his eyebrows before he sighed, pushing himself to stand before he walked to my bed. He then sat on it next to me. I laid back down, looking at him as I turned my body to face him. 

“You’ll be fine,” Arthur assured again. “You trained hard.” He gave me a bright smile, filled with support. I returned the smile with a weak one of my own. I placed my hand on the bedsheets, twirling a finger on it as I took in a deep breath. A hand touched my hair and I froze for a second, looking at Arthur, who looked back at me with a soft look on his face. “We’ll be out there to support you.”

“If I don’t drag you lot down first,” I muttered, almost pouting. Arthur chuckled before he patted my head a few times. I closed my eyes and relaxed when I felt him running his fingers through my hair. It was calming. It was new. And my body flushed with every touch. And I didn’t want it to stop so I didn’t ask him to stop. 

“You won’t,” Arthur said. “Stop talking about yourself like that.”

I huffed, cracking open my eyes to look at him. “I didn’t know you cared about me that much,” I teased. “Does it trigger you that I talk about myself this way?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, without hesitation, a frown on his face. I blinked at the seriousness, feeling shy all of a sudden under his penetrative gaze. I looked away, biting my bottom lip, knowing I was red everywhere including the tips of my ears. Arthur pulled his hand away and leaned against the headboard. “So, don’t talk about yourself that way.”

“Right,” I whispered, my voice weak. We were silent for a while. I didn’t dare to break it, not when my heart was hammering against my chest loudly. “So, uh,” I said, clearing my throat, glancing at him before looking away. “That’s why you came here? To see me?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said with a hum. “That and I was on my way home from meeting with Sophia and I realised your house was just on the way, so.”

Her name was akin to ice doused on my body. I was suddenly very awake, the shyness vanished and it was replaced with green venom that burned at the pit of my stomach. I frowned, shoulders tensing at what Arthur had said. 

“Sophia?” I asked, my voice coming off flat. I heard Arthur move a bit until I assumed he was sat better on the bed. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said, his voice careful. “Is…there something wrong?”

“No, of course not,” I said as I sat up, looking away from him to the bedsheets. _Not unless you count her almost digging her sharp claws into my arm the last time you spent your time with me—and not forgetting the time she basically accused you of throwing your future away just because we hung out._

I felt bitter and there was drumming thumps of pain coiling in my chest in a way that made it hard for me to breathe. 

“ _Right_ ,” Arthur dragged the word out. “There you go again.”

“What?” I asked, glancing at him. He had his eyebrows up, a confused smile on his face. 

“That,” Arthur said. “You’re looking like _that_ again. Every single time she’s mentioned or around.”

“Arthur,” I said as I turned my body to look at him. “I don’t—look like anything.”

“You look like you’re upset,” Arthur pointed out, insisting. “Like—Like…”

“Like…what?” I asked, narrowing my eyes at him. 

“Like,” Arthur started and then stopped. His eyes searched my face before he chuckled, sounding nervous and in disbelief. “Like you’re _jealous_ , but that can’t be, right? I mean…she’s my girlfriend, Merlin and you have Freya…”

I furrowed my eyebrows at him, letting the words to wash in my mind before I scooted away from him. 

“Merlin?” Arthur started, now sounding even more confused. “You’re not jealous…right?”

“No,” I scoffed, running a hand through my hair. “Why would I be jealous of that—,” I stopped when Arthur threw me a warning glare. “Fuck off,” I groused and stood up, walking to my desk, feeling uneasiness crawling under my skin as I thought about what Arthur said. 

Jealous? _Me_? 

And suddenly, I knew that this bitter feeling in my chest had a name. _Jealousy_. I almost laughed in disbelief. Because— _what the fuck_? 

Arthur remained quiet for a while. “You’re jealous,” he said, more of a statement than anything. I snapped my gaze at him before I rolled my eyes. 

“I’m not,” I said. Denying was the only thing I could do when I wasn’t completely ready to embrace the truth. That I was jealous. Of Sophia. For being with Arthur. Because, seriously, what the hell, Merlin? “Arthur, I’m not jealous—or whatever.”

“Then, why do you look like that every single time she’s—”

“ _Maybe_ because I find her annoying,” I snapped, irritation blooming in my chest. Arthur frowned, looking slightly offended. 

“Excuse me?” he asked. “ _Annoying_? What has she ever done to you?”

I shut my mouth, knowing I couldn’t tell Arthur about the time she _did_ bother me. There was a chance Arthur wouldn’t take kindly of me accusing his girlfriend being a bitch. “Nothing,” I said, lying through my teeth as I took in a deep breath. “I’m sorry. Just—I’m sorry. That was too far.”

Arthur watched me for a while, his eyes narrowed before he sighed and shook his head. “I guess I’ll never understand,” I heard him mutter. 

Wanting to quickly move past this conversation, I said, “Besides, I prefer the down-to-Earth type.”

There was a moment of silence before Arthur chuckle. I relaxed my shoulders, smiling a bit when I saw him grinning at me, his blue eyes twinkling in mirth. “Like Freya?” he asked, a teasing lit in his voice. 

“Yes, like her,” I said before I shrugged. When Arthur continued to look at me, I said, “Arthur, for the last time, she’s not my girlfriend. She’s just my friend.”

Arthur looked at me speculatively. “And _why_ is she _just_ a friend?”

“Uh— _no_ ,” I said with a small laugh. “Nope, we’re not going to talk about relationships.” 

Arthur raised his eyebrows at me. “And why not?”

“Because,” I said. “We haven’t reached that stage in our friendship yet.”

Arthur rolled his eyes. “Well, let’s get to that stage now. I thought she was smitten with you.”

I mimed zipping my lips and he snickered. 

“Fine, I’ll start first then,” Arthur said, a playful look in his eyes. “Sophia—”

“ _No_!” I said, eyes wide. “Fine, fine, _don’t_ —for God’s sakes—tell me any details about what you two do together. _Please_.” I ignored the painful twinge in my chest. 

“So,” Arthur said, nodding at me. “Tell me.”

I sighed. “Have I told you you’re a prat lately?”

Arthur seemed to be thinking for a second before he shook his head. “Nope,” he said and grinned. 

“And this is one of the times I wonder why I’m friends with you,” I muttered but it was obvious Arthur heard me because he chuckled. 

“Stop dodging the question and answer me,” Arthur said. 

I took in a deep breath before I said, “It just doesn’t feel right.”

Arthur raised an eyebrow at that. “That’s all? Just because it doesn’t feel right?”

“Of course!” I said. “It has to feel right, Arthur. We have to have like some connection to be able to like each other.”

“You’re a romantic, aren’t you?” Arthur said, like it was the most horrible thing in the world. I shifted my eyes away and shrugged, my cheeks reddening. 

“I like romance,” I said, voice quiet. “Is that wrong?” I asked, eyes flicking back to his. He shook his head as he rubbed the back of his neck. 

“No,” he said, earnestly. “I’m not a romantic, so I don’t agree to most of your views about love or dating, I guess.”

“And…what are your views?” I asked, a bit curious. 

Arthur hummed a bit. “I think a connection can be made if we get used to the person,” Arthur said. “It won’t matter who it is, love and like and sparks can fly if we just try.”

I made a face at that and Arthur rolled his eyes. 

“And hence why I said I’m not a romantic,” Arthur said. “I don’t do all this candlelit dinner and roses on the floor and candles or whatever. My type of romance is just sitting at home, eating take out and watching crap tele.”

“Wow,” I said, a bit astonished at the small glimpses into Arthur’s dating life. 

“And I assume you would do all of the things I won’t?” Arthur asked and I nodded. 

“I find all those things romantic,” I said, conceding. “I also believe in love at first sight. I believe in soulmates, someone who’s made for you, waiting for you. That’s why I believe that you need a connection with someone, when you touch someone and they send sparks underneath your skin—”

I stopped when I realised what I had said. My heart skipped a beat as I looked at Arthur. 

I had just described Arthur. I had described what I felt whenever Arthur touched me, whenever he was with me. That connection and zing underneath my skin. 

Arthur, though, didn’t notice my internal turmoil and nodded, as if he was taking it all in before he shrugged. “I guess, when you put it that way, it sounds cool,” Arthur said. “Nevertheless, it’s…a bit farfetched, to be honest, for me.”

I didn’t argue. I couldn’t argue. I didn’t know how to argue. My mind was blank. I was having a hard time breathing at the sudden clarity. 

“Merlin?” Arthur said, catching my attention and I realised I haven’t responded to him. Panicked and feeling more exposed than I would like, I blurted out the first thing that came into my mind. 

“Well, that’s nice,” I said, lamely. Arthur smirked as I flinched. “Maybe your soulmate is an old lady in her sixties with twenty-seven cats. They’re unromantic.”

“ _What_?” Arthur guffawed, slightly surprised and amused. I looked away, shuddering a bit as his laugher washed over me like a warm blanket. “You’re an idiot.”

“What the hell, Arthur?” I retorted, a pout on my lips. “Just when we’re getting along, you go and insult my intelligence. I have you know, I was the top of my class in my old school.”

“Yes, yes,” Arthur said but it was clear he was teasing. “Smartarse and all.”

I sniffed, looking away from him as I crossed my hands against my chest. “You’re always welcome to leave.”

Arthur laughed. He stood up from the bed and walked to stand in front of me. Then, he touched my shoulder. He shook me a bit, ducking his head a bit to catch my eyes. “You’re something else,” Arthur murmured in the quiet between us. I flushed, holding his eyes before I looked away again. 

“Thanks,” I said, trying to keep the atmosphere light. Arthur smiled before he took a step back. I breathed in a bit, feeling the irritation and jealousy long gone, replaced with fluster and warmth. 

“Well, I better leave,” Arthur said. I looked at him before I nodded, a bit disappointed that he couldn’t stay longer. “I’ll see you tomorrow, Merlin.”

“Alright,” I said as I dropped my hands to my sides. “Have a safe drive back home.”

Arthur smiled, warmly as he nodded. With a wave, he began to walk to my bedroom door. Before he left, he glanced at me one last time and said, “Good luck, Merlin.”

I smiled. “You too, Arthur.”

 

***

 

I was scared, if I was being completely honest. Especially when I realised just how many people were present to watch the first match. This was it. The moment everyone waited for. Including me. 

I took in a deep breath as I listened to Arthur’s motivational speech, one last speech before the game started. 

“So, we practised a lot,” Arthur said. “Try to do our best out there and have fun.” After a second, he shook his head and gave us a wicked grin. “Actually, make sure to win this match, alright? They need to leave at the end of the day with egos bruised, boys. Egos _bruised_.”

I winced at the grin Arthur had on his face. Blond Satan was back, only this time, it was for them and not for me. I chuckled and Coach grinned, looking amused. 

“Alright, let’s do this!” Coach said as he placed his hand in the middle of the circle. Everyone placed their hands in then and roared out our school’s team name and dispersed. “Reserves, please take a seat at the bleachers.” 

I didn’t hesitate to go and sit down, sighing to myself as I watched Arthur and the team members who were playing walking to the field. I glanced over my shoulders, scanning the crowd to see my Mum and Will, but I couldn’t find them. I did spot Morgana however as she waved at me. I waved at her back before looking back at the field. 

I noticed that Cenred was playing and wondered just how good he was. I watched them carefully as the match started. The stadium was in uproar, people were yelling and screaming, some were chanting their school song and others held banners, supporting their school team. For a high school match, this was being treated like it was the FIFA. 

I held my breath and shot out of my seat, grinning when my team finally scored a goal. I felt pride swelling in my chest, watching how my team managed to confuse and completely destroy the rival team’s defence. Before I knew it, half-time was announced and the team came back to the bleachers, drinking their water and rubbing off sweat from their faces with their towels. 

“Good job so far,” Coach said, happily. “So, let’s swap some players now.”

I blinked at that and felt panic clawing underneath my skin when I was being pulled out of reserve. “Merlin,” Coach said. “You’ll be replacing Finn. Get out there and do your best.”

I immediately looked at Arthur, who looked back at me with a smile. “You can do it,” he said and I bit my bottom lip, wringing my hands together as my heart started to beat loudly in my chest. I tried to protest but Coach was too busy to actually listen to me. Arthur didn’t have time to even assure me of anything else when I was dragged out of the field once half-time break was over. 

“Well,” I heard a familiar drawl and I winced when I saw Cenred, sneering at me. “You better not muck this up, Merlin. Don’t you think I forgot what the fuck you did to me the last time we met.”

A cold shiver ran down my spine as I looked away, clenching my hands into fists.

“Piss off, Cenred,” I snapped, feigning confidence. “If you don’t want to really lose your balls, I suggest you keep your distance.”

Cenred’s face reddened in anger, looking even more intimidating than before. I looked away, taking in a deep breath, hoping that I didn’t muck anything up. I really didn’t want to face Cenred again. 

Soon, the match continued and I was running around the field, feeling panic increasing at each move. I had so many things riding on my shoulder and embarrassment started to make itself known when I realised that halfway, I wasn’t even sure what I was doing.

Before I knew it, our team was in possession of the ball. 

I tried to stay out of their way as much as possible but at the end, with my shitty luck, because Percival was trapped, he had no choice but to kick the ball to me since I was the only player open. I did the only thing I was good at in this sport. I ran. 

I ran and kicked the ball, hoping that someone would be kind enough to take the ball from me, preferably someone from my team. Alas, before I could realise what was happening, one of the players from the opposite team pushed me down roughly and grabbed the ball into their possession, causing the referee to blow his whistle. 

With a yellow card thrown at the player, my team managed to snag another goal in the free kick. Still, my legs hurt and I was ashamed at my lack of skills. Cenred pushed me once again but it wasn’t as rough as what the player did. 

“I thought I told you not to muck up, Big Ears,” he said, voice dripping of venom. 

“Hey, come on,” Lancelot said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “We scored. Go away, Cenred.”

“Yeah, sure, only because he can’t fucking play and got us a free kick,” Cenred scoffed. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said as he jogged towards me. Cenred glanced at Arthur before he rolled his eyes and walked away. I bit my bottom lip, rubbing the back of my neck as I looked at him. Arthur didn’t look happy, a frown etched on his face. I knew right then and there that Arthur wasn’t pleased with me. “ _What_ the hell was that?”

“Arthur,” Lancelot began but Arthur sighed. 

“I know this was supposed to be fun and all,” Arthur said, careful in his words but I could hear the slight frustration in his voice. “But you can’t be slipping like that. You know what to do. Why did you choke?”

“I—I’m sorry,” I said, my voice meek as embarrassment once again washed into me. “I didn’t mean to—I…I told you I wasn’t good.”

“Oh for God’s sakes,” Arthur said, rubbing a hand down his face. He looked at me in the eyes, sharp and unyielding, looking more annoyed than anything. I felt a throb of pain in my chest, disappointed at myself. “For once in your life, could you please not self-degrade yourself and actually try better?”

“Arthur,” Lancelot said, disapproval in his voice. 

“No, this match,” Arthur began. “This is important. Especially this year. You know this. Merlin, you can’t fuck this up. I know you can do it, so can you please try?”

In other words, I knew he meant ‘Don’t drag us down, please’. I felt like crying. My eyes burned from the humiliation but I didn’t say anything. I only nodded. Arthur shook his head before he walked away. Lancelot squeezed my shoulder and I gave him a weak smile. 

“I’m sorry,” I said but Lancelot only sighed. 

“No worries, mate,” Lancelot said. “You know Arthur. Mood swings, that prat.”

I didn’t feel better. In fact, I felt worse. So, I tried to keep out of the way for the rest of the match. I made sure any balls kicked to me were directed to someone else immediately. I tried my best to not muck it up anymore and by the end of the first match, my team won. 

Everyone yelled and screamed, joy on their faces and the students roared in happiness. I jogged back to the bleachers, Morgana waiting for me with a bottle of water in her hands. I grabbed it and twisted the cap off, gulping down the water. 

I still felt horrible. I was supposed to be happy my team won but all I wanted was to go home. 

“You did so well, Merlin!” Morgana said, hugging me for a second before she pulled away. I was enveloped in another hug the very next minute, Will chuckling in my ear before Mum appeared and hugged me as well. 

“I’m so proud of you!” Mum said, beaming widely. “You’re so amazing out there, love.”

I gave her a weak smile, trying to hide the pang of guilt in my chest. “Thanks, Mum.”

“You were running everywhere, mate,” Will said with a slap on my shoulder. “Told ya you would do great.”

“Thanks, Will,” I said, hoping I looked happy enough that they would buy it and leave me alone. 

“I can’t believe you actually ran,” Morgana quipped. 

“Ha ha,” I said, deadpanning. “I was actually supposed to be a reserve. Coach put me in to replace Finn.”

“Ah, well, Finn twisted his ankle last I heard,” Morgana mused. 

“Well, honey,” my Mum said with a soft smile on her face. “Want to go home or stay around with your friends a bit?”

“Let him stay around, Hunith,” Will said, wrapping an arm around my shoulders. My mum chuckled before she nodded, looking at me for approval. 

“Okay,” I said with a shrug. “I’ll see you at home then, Mum.”

“Remember your curfew,” Mum said and with a kiss on my forehead, she left. Will then nudged me on the shoulder. 

“Wanna get some ice-cream to celebrate?” Will asked and Morgana snorted. 

“I’ll call Gwen and ask her to come,” Morgana said. “She couldn’t make it today since she had a family event to attend but I think it should be over by now.”

“Sure,” I said with a shrug. “Just let me get a shower and changed.”

“Right, meet you at the entrance of the school in,” Morgana said before she looked at her wrist watch. “Thirty minutes?”

“Sounds good,” I said and with a pat on my back by Will, I left them to the changing rooms. I was a bit surprised to see that the changing rooms were almost empty, only two people lingering around. The place was a bit hot, most probably caused by the hot water of the showers steaming the place. 

“Merlin!” one of my team members said, grinning. “Well done out there.”

“Yeah,” the other one said. “You did awesome for your first game, mate.”

I smiled, my cheeks flushing a bit at the show of support from them. “Thanks,” I said, scratching the back of my neck. “I did mess up, though.”

“Ah, pish posh,” the taller one of the two said. “Everyone makes mistakes.”

“So, don’t take it to heart,” the second person said before he slammed his locker closed. “Anyway, I’m going to head out. My girlfriend’s waiting for me.” 

“See you,” I said as he left, patting on my back. Soon, the taller boy left too, congratulating me one more time. I was now alone in the changing rooms, glad that Cenred was long gone. At least that was one good thing happened tonight. 

Just as I was about to unlock my locker door, Arthur emerged from one of the shower stalls, hair slightly damp as he was towelling it dry, wearing a pair of ripped blue jeans and a white t-shirt. I felt my face redden as I looked away, shoulderstensing as I recalled what happened at the field. 

I didn’t know what to say to him at the moment, and so, I didn’t acknowledge him. I opened my locker door, ready to take out my clothes when Arthur spoke, making me still. 

“Merlin,” he said, his voice low and steady. 

I closed my eyes for a second before I opened them, continuing on my action of taking my clothes out of the locker and closing it shut. I turned to face him, glancing at his eyes before looking away, ready to walk past him. 

I was stopped though when he grabbed my wrist. 

“Merlin,” he said. 

“I,” I said, my voice cracking as embarrassment washed into me again. I tugged my wrist away from his grasp. “I’m sorry for what happened at the field. It won’t happen again.”

Arthur remained silent but I can feel his heavy gaze on me. “Merlin,” he said with a sigh. “Will you look at me?”

I didn’t, instead, I kept my gaze on the floor. “Please,” I said as I hugged my clothes to my chest. “If you want to say something then say it and leave. I have to meet with Morgana and Will in thirty minutes.”

I didn’t expect Arthur to grab my shoulders and spin me around. I gripped on my clothes tighter, a squeak escaped my lips as I looked at him in the eyes, my own orbs wide. My cheeks flushed when I saw a flash of something in those eyes. 

“Listen,” Arthur said as he squeezed my shoulders. “I…I didn’t mean to offend you at the field.”

I shook my head. “I know what you meant though,” I said. “I know I messed up. I know this was important. So, I’m sorry.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “I was just irritated, that’s all. You were running around like you had no idea what’s happening. I can’t afford you to do that. I can’t afford you forgetting everything you’ve trained for.”

“I’m trying, Arthur,” I gritted out, feeling my eyes burn. “I’m trying! I told you—I told you this would happen.”

“It wouldn’t have happened if you trusted yourself for once,” Arthur bit out, harshly. I flinched and tried to move away only for Arthur to tighten his grip on my shoulder. 

“Let me go,” I said, voice hollow. Arthur sighed and pulled me closer instead until my face mushed against his shoulder. I squirmed in his grip but he only buried his face against my shoulder and wrapped his arms around me, holding me hostage in his embrace. “Stop,” I whispered, muffled against his shirt as the tears started to form in my eyes. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur whispered in my ear. “I’m sorry. Don’t be upset. I’m sorry.”

“You think I messed up on purpose?” I questioned, closing my eyes as I relaxed in his hug. 

“No,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry I made you think like that. I knew you could do it, Merlin. You just need to stop thinking so much.”

I remained quiet and not moving to hug him back. “This match means a lot to me too, Arthur,” I croaked. “Not just for you. So, you don’t have to make me—”

Arthur hugged me with even more force. My breath hitched in my throat when I felt his nose nudging against my temple. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I just…my father could’ve been in the crowd and—I know, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said those things. I should have been patient with you. I’m sorry.”

“My Mum was in the crowd,” I whispered as I opened my eyes. “This was as important as it was for you.”

“I know,” Arthur said. “Forgive me, alright? Next time, I’ll make sure you try harder and if you mess up, I’ll help you fix your mistakes. You're still new in this sport and I’m sorry I lost my patience.”

I finally let go of my clothes, letting it pool on the ground as I hugged him back. He breathed out in what seemed like relief. 

“Wouldn’t it be better if I just removed myself from the team?” I asked and Arthur stilled. He then buried his face against the crook of my neck, startling me as his vice grip, if possible, increased in strength until I was having a hard time breathing. 

“No,” Arthur said, voice strong and determined. “You’re staying. You’re not a quitter. You’re not quitting on this team.”

I felt a shiver running down my spine at his tone. My skin burned and I felt like Arthur’s body was being imprinted on mine. His warmth sunk into me and I nodded against his shoulder, not wanting to argue with him. 

A hand touched the back of my neck and squeezed, an act of comfort. “I trust you,” Arthur said. “You’ll be fine and I’ll make sure you’ll be fine if you aren’t.”

I couldn’t help but to smile at that, the disappointment and embarrassment washed away and in its stead was this giddiness. “And if you get mad at me again?” I asked, voice hushed. 

“Then, I give you permission to call me whatever names you deem is appropriate for me for the next two weeks,” Arthur promised, making me laugh. He chuckled a bit as well, sighing. “I felt guilty the minute I said those things to you. I didn’t mean them.”

“Thank you,” I said. 

“No,” Arthur said as he pulled away a bit to look at me in the eyes. He smiled, that warm sincere smile of his that he rarely showed to anyone else but me and said, “Don’t thank me. You didn’t do anything wrong and I was just being a prat.”

I smiled at him, shaking my head as I finally pulled myself completely out of his grip. He nodded and stepped back, running a hand through his hair. “I trust you too,” I said, earning a bright grin from him. 

“Thanks,” Arthur said, in a voice that had my heart warming. I flushed and bent down to pick my clothes. He looked at them and walked to one of the shelves where the towels were placed before he handed one to me. He hesitated for a second before he said, “I’ll see you tomorrow then. Have fun with Will and Morgana, okay?”

“Okay,” I said and Arthur smiled. “Good night, Arthur.”

“Night, Merlin,” Arthur said and with that, he left. I stood there, feeling myself smiling as my heart thumped loudly against my chest. Something between us was changing and the more I started to think about it, the more I realised this was moving beyond normal friendship. With the conversation from yesterday and now this—

I felt like I was beginning to understand what I was feeling. 

I looked to my feet and hugged the clothes closer, sighing. 

And I had a feeling it would start to hurt me soon. 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Rage & A Whole Lot of Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Hiiii. Sorry for the late update, guys! I've actually been busy drawing my comic, if you can believe it. I didn't even know I could draw comics. Hah. If you guys are interested in reading my comic for free, I'll leave a link down below. Anyways, hope you guys like this chapter! It's kinda short but it'll--serve a purpose soon. Heh. Thank you to those who read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal
> 
>   **[MY COMIC](http://www.webtoons.com/en/challenge/the-adventures-of-the-spooky-trio-/list?title_no=126894)**

 

Mum was happy about my game and I felt relatively better as well after Arthur comforted me. I felt shitty the entire time until Arthur hugged me out of it. My heart thumped in my chest as I remembered how warm and strong he felt against me. I felt safe in his arms, assured that I had done my best. 

Despite Arthur getting angry at me at the very beginning of it all, he ended up calming me down when it was all over. I smiled a bit as I walked down the school hallway. During the weekends after the game on Saturday, Will and Morgana had come over and hung out with me. 

It made me feel a bit more energised to go back to school on Monday. I rubbed the back of my neck, feeling light on my feet as I wandered to Biology class. I was just about to reach for the door when someone clamped on my arm tight, nails digging through my clothes and harshly dragged me to the side before slamming me against the locker doors. 

I immediately snatched my arm away, looking to see Sophia glaring at me, her teeth bared in a way that made her look animalistic than human. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?” I demanded, glaring right back at her.

She crossed her arms against her chest and cocked her hips to one side. “I told you,” she hissed. “I fucking told you to stay away from him.” 

“I,” I started but she cut me off. 

“You are _not_ his boyfriend,” she spat. “So, don’t act like you’re one, okay?”

I frowned. “I’m not acting like—I don’t understand you! What do you want from me?”

I tried to push her away from me when she crowded my personal space but she avoided my hands and ended up grabbing my right wrist, almost crushing my bone with her strength. I tried to pull my hand away from her but she held on tight. 

“What—,” I said and stopped when she spoke. 

“I mean it,” she said. “If I catch you going near him _one more time_ , I will end you.”

Shocked at her threat, she pulled away from me and walked away. I stared at her and then shook my head, rubbing my wrist as I rolled my eyes. Just who did she think she was? I huffed my breath and decided to forget about it. It wasn’t like she would really do anything to me. 

I rubbed my wrist harder, wondering where she got the sudden brute strength from. I walked into the classroom, my eyes immediately landed on Arthur who sat at his seat, talking to Gwaine. I sighed, recalling of his girlfriend and for the umpteenth time since I met her, I wondered what Arthur saw in her. 

“Hey,” Gwaine said, grinning when he caught me eyes as soon as I was at the lab desk. Arthur looked at me before he smiled. 

“Hullo,” I said, grinning back before placing my books on the desk and sitting on my stool.

“I can’t believe we won against The Magicians,” Gwaine said, leaning against the desk opposite of ours. I snorted, earning slight confused looks from Arthur and Gwaine. 

“Oh, come on!” I said, waving my hands around. “Don’t tell me you don’t think that name is funny.”

“Well,” Gwaine mused. “I admit, it _is_ a funny name.”

“The Magicians,” I said, holding back a silly giggle. “I almost laughed out loud when Coach said their name.”

Arthur rolled his eyes, amused. “Laugh now but last year this time, they beat us.”

“And proceeded to make fun of us every time we saw them,” Gwaine mused, a smirk on his face. “Now, _now_ we can do the same.”

I chuckled. “Revenge?” I asked. Arthur snorted. 

“Now, come on guys,” Arthur said. “We shouldn’t stoop down to their levels.”

Gwaine raised an unimpressed eyebrow at Arthur before he said, “We’re going to hang out at their place just to antagonise them, aren’t we?”

Arthur nodded, a smirk on his face, making him look evil. I blinked at the devious look on his face. “Wait, seriously?” I asked. 

“It’s not like we’re going to actually say anything,” Arthur said with a shrug. But his smirk widened, a clear sign that he had more planned than just that. “We’re just going to hang out. That’s all.”

Gwaine laughed. “Devious, mate,” Gwaine said, his grin sharpened. “I’m in.”

“Right,” I drawled. “Have fun being immature.”

Arthur threw me a playful glare. “And this is coming from the boy who likes magic tricks.”

I blushed, kicking Arthur’s leg. Gwaine cooed, shaking his head. 

“That’s cute,” Gwaine said, sending me with a wink. I resisted the urge to cover my face with my hands. 

“They’re awesome, okay?” I whined. I waved my hands around to emphasise the fact that it was not childish when Arthur grabbed my right wrist. I flinched when I felt a flare of pain there. I tried to tug my wrist away but Arthur held on tight. I looked at him, words dying in my mouth when he looked tense, his jaw clenched and his eyes narrowed at my wrist. 

“Why,” Arthur began as he pulled me put of my stool until I stood in front of him. Flustered and confused, I stilled when he pushed the sleeve of my shirt up to expose my wrist. Gwaine took in a sharp gasp and Arthur went more rigid when the finger-shaped bruise was clear on my wrist. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice strangled. “Why is your wrist bruised like this?”

Gwaine looked at me before he looked at Arthur. He then stood straighter before he said, “I’m gonna go back to my table. I’ll see you both later.”

I opened my mouth to stop him but Arthur gently shook my wrist to catch my attention. “Answer me,” he said, his voice low. “Why is your wrist bruised like this?”

“I,” I started but then stopped, because how else was I supposed to tell him that his girlfriend did this out of jealousy rage? I sighed and gently pried Arthur’s fingers from my wrist. I cradled my right hand to my chest before I sat back down on my stool. 

Arthur’s blue eyes were sharp on me, unrelenting. 

“Later,” I told him, at last. His eyebrows furrowed. 

“No, not later,” he said. Before Arthur could argue anymore, the teacher walked in, successfully ending our mild argument for now. I heaved out a sigh of relief as I looked at the teacher, trying my hardest not to notice the looks Arthur was throwing me the entire time. 

When class was over, I still hadn’t figured out how to tell Arthur about the reason my wrist was bruised. At the end, all I wanted to do was to leave. I didn’t actually have a chance to even get up from my stool when Arthur had stood up and walked towards me, placing both hands on my shoulder and pushed me back down. 

“Merlin,” he said as he squeezed my shoulders with a sigh. “Come on, tell me.”

I waited until everyone left the room. Gwaine threw a look at me which I couldn’t decipher as he left. I made a mental note to ask what that look was about. When the last student walked out of the lab, Arthur pulled away and went to lean against the desk next to me, his arms crossed against his chest. 

“It’s,” I said, fumbling with my words. 

“Is someone bothering you?” Arthur asked, cutting my rambling off. I shook my head. 

“No, no one else,” I said. “Cenred—no, he didn’t do this,” I assured when I saw something dark appearing in Arthur’s eyes. He frowned, a look of confusion appearing on his face. 

“Then, who?” Arthur asked, frustrated. “If it’s not anyone else and it’s not Cenred—then—how in the world did you get those bruises.” I opened my mouth before Arthur shook his head and said, “And don’t say you got it because of an accident. These are finger-shaped bruises.”

I sighed, loudly, running a hand through my hair. 

“I,” I said before I licked my lips, hesitating. “I’m not sure how to say this.”

“Say what?” Arthur said. 

“It’s complicated,” I said. When Arthur made no move to say anything else and continued to stare at me with an impatient look on his face, I stood up, throwing my hands in the air. “You’re not going to believe me. You’re just going to think I’m saying this on purpose. You’re going to get angry.”

Arthur dropped his hands to his sides. “I—have no clue what you’re talking about,” Arthur said. “Can you stop beating around the bush and tell me?”

I chewed my bottom lip before I shook my head. “I think—it’s better if you don’t know.”

Arthur took a step forward. “Merlin,” he said, a hint of warning in his voice. “I—I just want to know. I—I don’t like seeing you hurt, you know that.”

My heart skipped a beat at that and it made me even more wary telling Arthur the truth. I rubbed my arm before I took in a deep breath. “You aren’t going to like what I’m about to tell you.”

“Just,” Arthur said and waved a hand around. 

“Fine,” I said. After a second of silence, I added, “It was Sophia.”

Arthur stilled. For a few seconds, he seemed to be stunned before he frowned. “ _What_?” he asked in disbelief. I couldn’t help but to feel disappointed that Arthur didn’t believe me. But I refused to let it show on my face. I knew he wouldn’t take it well. 

This was his girlfriend who harmed me, not anyone else. And the fact that I disliked her, as much as Arthur found amusement in that, would make it seem like I was purposely making Sophia look bad. 

“She did this,” I said as I waved my wrist around. “She did this once more, after the party. She told me to stay away from you. And today while I was walking to class, she pulled me aside and told me to stop getting close to you or else she’ll end me or something.”

“You’re… _joking_ , right?” Arthur said, furrowing his eyebrows. “I mean…”

I bristled a bit at the tone of disbelief in his voice. “I’m not lying, if that’s what you’re accusing me of.”

Arthur thinned his lips. “But this is _Sophia_. You’re claiming my girlfriend did that, that bruise on your wrist.”

“Look,” I said. “I told you who did this. If you don’t want to believe it, fine.”

“I’m just,” Arthur began. “She isn’t the type of person to _harm_ someone, Merlin. I—Is this some kind of petty game or something? To make her look bad because you obviously don’t like her—”

“I’m done,” I said as I shook my head. I gathered my books and said, “You obviously don’t believe me. I don’t know why I thought you would. But it’s clear that you don’t. I don’t want to listen to you accuse me of things I didn’t do. If you don’t believe me, go and ask your girlfriend.”

I seethed at the end of my small rant. 

“It’s not that I don’t believe you,” Arthur started. “But this—It’s _Sophia_!”

“Yes, like that explains everything!” I snapped. “She’s a menace to me, okay? I said it, there. You can hate me for that all you like but she hates me, alright, Arthur? She threatened me because she thinks I’m trying to steal you away from her. She did these bruises. But hey, if you want to think I’m making this up, then go ahead. Some friend you are.”

Before Arthur could retaliate, I ran out of the lab, jogging down the hallway to get to my locker, as far away as I could from him. My heart ached in my chest and my eyes felt hot. I knew that if I were in Arthur’s shoes, I would be in disbelief too but I wouldn’t accuse of my friend for ever purposely fabricating things up. 

I felt angry at myself for thinking Arthur might believe me. It was just—we had gone through quite a bit together. I closed my eyes as I stopped walking, looking at the floor, brushing a hair from my forehead. I sighed, shaking away the urge to let tears form in my eyes.

 

***

 

Will blinked when I explained what happened. He had seen the bruises on my wrist, catching Morgana and Gwen’s attention as well. I munched on my sandwich, watching the array of emotions playing on my friends’ faces. I felt drained by the time recess came around. And to think that today had started with so much positivity. 

“What the fuck?” Morgana said, eyes wide. Her lips where thinned. “He actually said that?”

“Yeah,” I said. “I mean…why would I make this up, huh? Sure, I don’t like Sophia but—I wouldn’t.”

“Mate,” Will said. “It’s fine, we believe you.”

I nodded, still feeling down after everything that happened. It hurt to know that Arthur didn’t believe me. I thought I gave good reasons to why he could trust me. Apparently not. 

“She’s such a bitch,” Morgana groused. “She’s nothing special.”

Gwen shrugged, looking unhappy. “I don’t know how someone could ever hurt another person like that.”

“You’re not even into lads!” Will said, pointing at me. “I know I said you might be but I was just joking. Didn’t know someone took it seriously.”

I gave him a nervous smile at that, my heart fluttering in my chest. Somehow, I didn’t find it in myself to protest the fact that I was straight. It felt more like a lie the more I felt this something for Arthur. I pushed my tray, half-eaten sandwich on it with a sigh. 

“If I see her,” Morgana said and I shook my head. 

“It’s fine,” I said, absent-mindedly rubbing my bruised wrist. 

“No, it’s not,” Gwen said, frowning. “She shouldn’t have done that.”

“Speaking of the witch,” Morgana said as she stood up. I frowned, confused as I looked over my shoulders to see Sophia, marching right up to our table. “What the fuck do you want? Haven’t you done enough?”

“Shut up,” Sophia snapped at Morgana before she glared me. “ _You_ ,” she hissed. “You ran off and ratted me out to him, huh?”

“What?” I said. “I didn’t—”

“Fuck you,” she bit out and before I knew it, she grabbed the half-full bottle of water on my tray and poured it on me. The entire cafeteria went silent and I heard Morgana taking a sharp breath. I gaped, feeling my hair becoming wet and my shirt drenching. I stared at her, stunned. She slammed the bottle on the table with a harsh thud. 

“What…the _fuck_?” Will screeched as he stood up as well. “Oi, who do you think you are?”

I stood up, shoulders tensed as I wiped the water from my eyes. I glared at her. “If you touch me, one more time,” I said, my voice low. “I will rat you out to more than just your boyfriend.”

Sophia narrowed her eyes. “I’d like to see you try,” she said as she poked my chest. “Who do you think you are?”

I didn’t hesitate to slap her hand away from my chest. She took a step back, surprised. “Fucking touch me again, I dare you,” I said, darkly. “I had enough of pompous bastards thinking they can bully me just because they feel like I’m a threat. If you think your boyfriend is suddenly interested in dicks, why don’t you confront him about it and not me? What did I even do to you? _Nothing_!”

I was so done. I was tired and cold and wet. “Don’t talk to me again,” I snapped and walked past her, rushing down the hallway out of the silent cafeteria. My eyes burned, tears gathering in them from the humiliation and anger. I pushed open the boys’ loo and walked in, wiping my eyes as I stood in the middle of the empty room. 

Taking in a shuddering breath, I walked to the sinks, looking at myself in the mirror. I looked at my shirt and wondered what to do about this. I took some tissues and wiped the excess water from my shirt but it still left a wet patch behind. There was nothing else I could do but to let it dry by itself. 

At least it was just water, I thought, upset. 

Just then, the loo door opened and walked in was the last person I wanted to see. 

“Don’t,” I croaked, looking away from him to the sink. “Just leave.”

“I,” Arthur said, stopping before he shook his head. “I really didn’t think…”

“You didn’t,” I agreed, curling my fingers into fists. “She’s crazy,” I huffed. 

Arthur sighed before he took a few steps towards me until he stood behind me, looking at me from the mirror. “I’m sorry,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have doubted you. You’re right. She was jealous of you. She hates you because she thinks you’re stealing me away from her. She did this to you, I’m sorry.”

I looked away from him, wiping my eyes. “Thought I was making this up,” I said, bitterly. A hand touched my shoulder making me to turn and look at him. 

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, his eyes wide and earnest. “I shouldn’t have doubted you.”

“Was it easy?” I asked. “To doubt me?”

“No,” Arthur said. “I was just surprised and—I didn’t think the girl I knew could act like that.”

“Can you like, I don’t know, confront her next time in a room with a padlock or something?” I said. “So that she doesn’t come after me like she did a few minutes ago?”

“I—I’ll talk to her about this, okay? I’ll tell her that what she's doing is not right,” Arthur said as he pressed a hand on my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned against it before I pulled away, realising maybe this was why Sophia thought I was about to steal Arthur away from her. 

“You shouldn’t,” I said, pulling away from him completely. He looked a bit hurt at that. “Touch me like that from now on. It—It looks—”

“Oh,” Arthur said before he scoffed. “Merlin, stop acting like a girl.”

“No, that was your girlfriend,” I retorted, earning a soft smack on my head. Before I could whine, Arthur grabbed my arm and dragged me into a hug. He hugged me tight, burying his nose against the side of my head. I stood there, frozen. 

“We’re mates,” Arthur whispered against my skin. I shuddered and bit my bottom lip as I felt the familiar zing running down my spine. I didn’t push him away this time. 

“You don’t do this to anyone else,” I whispered back, feeling skittish at the fact that we were hugging—like lovers—in a place anyone could walk in. Arthur tightened his hug and I hugged him back, relaxing against him as I placed my forehead on his shoulder. 

“No, no one else but you,” Arthur said in akin to a promise and I almost pointed out that this was why Sophia seemed to think I was a threat but—I didn’t want to lose this warmth. I was confused as to why Arthur was doing this but at the same time, I milked it for what its worth. My heart thumped loudly against my chest and my face warmed. “Come over.”

“Hm?” I said, furrowing my eyebrows. 

“Come over to my place tonight,” Arthur said. 

“What for?” I asked. 

“Just,” Arthur said. “Hang out with me. We haven’t hung out in ages.”

I cracked a soft smile at that, the hurt from hours ago melted away. “Is this another way of you apologising to me for being a dumbo?”

Arthur snorted before he pulled away from me, his hands on my shoulders. “Sure,” Arthur said with a shrug. “Whatever that soothes your girly feelings.”

“Oi,” I said with a bigger smile. Arthur’s eyes then landed on my wet shirt. 

“Do you need a spare shirt?” Arthur asked. 

“Are you offering?” I asked back, raising my eyebrows. 

“Yeah, if you want,” Arthur said with a shrug. I blinked at that. 

“I—I was joking,” I said but Arthur frowned. 

“I’m going to go get the shirt,” Arthur said. “You can give it back to me when you come over tonight.”

I sighed, realising there was no use fighting Arthur and nodded. With a pat on my shoulder and a grin on his face, Arthur walked out of the loo, leaving me confused and warm where I stood. I leaned against the sink counter, running a hand through my wet hair. Arthur came with his shirt a few minutes later and pushed me into cubicle before I could say anything. 

His shirt was obviously big on me, it hung on me and almost drowned me in it. The shirt also smelt like him and in a way, it was a dizzying scent. It was a heavy scent of some kind of perfume but it also smelt like—and this might sound crazy—but it smelt like peaches. It was a weird combination of smells but it worked well.

I liked it.

Arthur, of course, had laughed right at my face when I came out of the cubicle. I snorted at him and tried to bat his hands away when he tried to comb through my hair to dry them faster. 

“I’m not really a baby!” I exclaimed as I felt his hands touching my hair. 

“I know, just shut up,” Arthur groused. 

It left a warm feeling in my belly and I didn’t push Arthur away again when he once again when back to try drying my hair. Instead, I leaned into his touches and tried to ignore the way my heart beat just a bit too loudly to be comfortable and my palms sweating. 

I think I knew what I was feeling for Arthur now and maybe—Sophia had a right to be jealous after all.

 

 


	13. The Dilemmas of a Teenage Boy

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Hah...this chapter is kinda fun to write. Maybe because it's a bit controversial in my opinion. In a sense that either you want to slap Arthur or be like 'well...it's not his fault.' Either way, this was fun. Hope you guys like it either way! Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

My Mum looked at me with narrowed eyes when she noticed that I wasn’t wearing my uniform. 

“Right,” I said and gave her a watered down version of what happened. She didn’t look any happier than before even though she did look a bit pleased at the mention of Arthur borrowing me his clothes. 

“Merlin, this is horrible,” Mum said, a frown on her face. “Maybe I should talk to your principle about the behaviour of his students.”

I sighed before I shook my head. “It’s fine, Mum,” I told her. “Arthur took care of it. Besides, I’m not alone this time. I actually have friends, a lot of them, backing me up.”

Mum hummed but she continued to look wary. “Merlin, I’m just—I don’t want you to go through the same thing back at Ealdor, love.”

I nodded at her, giving her an assuring smile. That seemed to ease her a little. “I’m fine, I promise,” I said. “No one hurt me. No one will either, not with Arthur around and not when I have Morgana as well.”

Mum bit her bottom lip before she relented. “Alright,” she said. “But this is the last time I’m hearing about this, you hear me? Another peep of something like this happening, to the principal with them.”

I almost shivered at the cold determined tone my Mum used and nodded. She smiled then, patting my shoulder as she walked past me to the kitchen. 

“Also,” I said, catching her attention. “Can I go over to Arthur’s place tonight?”

“Oh?” Mum said, blinking.

“I want to return his clothes and—he wants to hang out,” I said, blushing a bit. Mum nodded after a second, a dazzling smile on her lips. 

“I have to bake some biscuits for that boy,” Mum said as she turned around to pull a cookbook out of a shelf. 

“Mum,” I started but she shook her head.

“Run along, Merlin,” she said, humour in her voice. “Go and get changed and then put his clothes in the washing machine. Meanwhile, I’ll bake him some biscuits as a thank you for being such a good friend to my son.”

I reddened, flustered as I gave her an uneasy smile and nodded, no longer wanting to argue with her. My heart skipped a beat as I walked into my bedroom and closed the door. I touched the large shirt I was wearing, my face burning when I ended up sniffing the collar. 

The smell of his perfume and peach scent clouded my senses as I slid to the floor, sighing. 

I felt safe in his clothes and I felt safer in his arms. I hugged myself as I brought my knees to my chest. 

I smiled, closing my eyes. I couldn’t wait to see him again tonight. 

 

***

 

Mum dropped me off at the sidelines to his house, placing a tupperware of biscuits onto my palm. She smiled at me before she told me to have fun and call her if my plans have changed. I blinked at her, wondering what she meant by that as I waved her goodbye. 

I grabbed my schoolbag, stuffed with Arthur’s freshly laundered clothes and the tupperware of biscuits and got out of the car. I walked to the front door and stood there for a few seconds, taking in a deep breath when Mum finally drove away, leaving me alone. 

My heart thundered against my chest as I realised that I was going to be alone with Arthur tonight. I squirmed at where I stood, blushing heavily. I raised my shivering fist and hesitated to knock on the door. I knocked the door three times before I saw the doorbell next to it.

I flushed again, this time in embarrassment. 

There was a perfectly functional doorbell and here I was— _knocking_. 

I shook my head, scolding myself and pressed on the doorbell twice. 

I waited for a minute and realised no one was answering the door. Frowning and feeling trickles of uneasiness appearing in my chest, I rung the doorbell again. 

Still, there was no answer. My heart began to race in slight mortification at the thought that Arthur wasn’t home. Panicked a bit, I knocked on the door loudly. “Arthur?” I called out for him. 

I knocked a few more times and gasped when the door finally opened. 

“Finally,” I said, sighing in relief. “What were you—”

I stopped and froze when I saw who answered the door. 

It wasn’t Arthur. 

It was—

“ _You_?” Sophia screeched, eyes wide. There were traces of anger in her eyes but they were less venomous than this morning. I took a step back, shocked, taking in her appearance. Her hair was messed up and her lips were swollen. There was no mistaking the small bruises on her throat as love bites, littering down to her collarbones and shoulders before they disappeared under a large jumper that reached her mid-thighs, her feet bare. 

It didn’t take a genius to know what happened and I felt my heart sinking to the bottom of my chest. I gripped on my bag and tupperware tight, shaking my head in disbelief and at the sudden pang of— _hurt_ in my heart. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” she exclaimed, impatient. 

“Nothing,” I breathed out as I turned around, mind clouded with many questions that I had no answer to. I started to stumble away from there when I heard feet thundering on the ground and a hand latching on my shoulder, roughly turning me around. 

My eyes met with wide blue ones and I snapped out of my trance, anger replacing every other emotion in me. I snatched my arm from him, glaring. 

“Merlin,” Arthur breathed out, his own hair messed up and his lips swollen. He was shirtless, wearing nothing but a pair of joggers but I knew. I knew what happened and I didn’t want to stay. 

I felt like an idiot. Worse than an idiot. 

“I’m going home,” I snapped. I pulled open my bag and shoved his clothes to his chest. He clumsily grabbed at them and I left him there, turning around to walk away. I held the biscuits to my chest, not willing to give it to him. 

“What?” Arthur breathed out as he chased after me again, grabbing on my shoulder once more. I stopped and pulled away, looking at him with a scorching glare. “What—Merlin, what are you doing?”

“Me?” I questioned, voice blank as I held the urge to point fingers at Sophia. “Me? Oh, I don’t know. What do you _think_ I’m doing?”

Arthur opened his mouth and then closed it. “Merlin, look, give me ten minutes and I’ll—”

“No,” I said. “Just go. I’ll see you tomorrow or something.”

Arthur shook his head and quickly stepped in front of me when I was about to turn around and leave again. I sighed, exasperated, my eyes burning, a sign that I was about to cry. My heart hurt really badly. 

“What—Why are you acting like this?” Arthur asked as he hugged his clothes to his chest, a confused look on his face. 

“What the,” I began, astonished that Arthur was so—oblivious to human decency. “Do you not see—You were _shagging_ Sophia!” 

Arthur flinched at the volume of my voice. I knew I sounded insane. I had no right to feel jealous of Sophia, no right to feel like clawing her eyes out. I had no right to even feel betrayed that she was wearing his clothes and walking around in his house almost naked. 

I was just his friend. 

And yet, I was hurt and jealous. _Upset_. 

“Yeah, I was,” Arthur agreed. “Merlin, look, you just caught us in a wrong time. We were done and I was about to ask her to leave when you came. I’m sorry, okay?”

I opened my mouth and then closed it, knowing that I couldn’t really tell him the reason I was upset at him. “I thought you said you’ll talk to her about,” I started and then stopped, shaking my head because this wasn’t what I was supposed to do. 

Arthur nodded, looking a bit guilty at last. “I did. And she—she promised she won’t ever be jealous of you again. As you can see, everything’s fine and she won’t come after you anymore.”

“So, you fucked her in response as to what? ‘Good, glad we cleared that off now let’s fuck so we can put that behind us’?” I snapped, my cheeks colouring as my eyes flashed. Arthur frowned. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “She’s my _girlfriend_.”

He spoke the words carefully, like he was trying to make a point. But the only point he made was that I was an idiot. My heart broke into pieces when he said that. I—I didn’t know what I was expecting after today, to be honest. 

“Look, just come inside, okay?” Arthur said as he gently touched my wrist. I let him, too numb to comprehend anything else but my thoughts and feelings. “Come on, she’ll go home and we’ll have the house to ourselves like planned. Thanks for washing my clothes by the way.”

“Yeah, okay,” I said with a sigh, extracting my wrist from his grip. He nodded and jogged back to where Sophia was and I watched them exchanging a few words. Sophia looked angrier by the end of it and she looked at me, her eyes sharp and deadly. Then, she looped her hands around Arthur’s neck and dragged him into a sudden intense kiss. 

My eyes widened as I saw Arthur immediately responding to her and pulling her close, lost in their own world. My eyes burned with unshed tears and my heart clenched. I squeezed my fingers into a fist and hugged the tupperware to my chest, looking at my feet. 

I knew what Sophia was doing. She was staking her claim. 

And she had him. 

I closed my eyes and took in a shuddering breath. 

“Merlin, come on!” Arthur said. I opened my eyes and looked at him. He waved at me to hurry along before he pulled Sophia inside with a hand on her wrist. Sophia looked at me over her shoulders and gave me a grin, a grin so evil that it made me sick to my stomach. 

I wiped my eyes, taking in another deep breath and followed them inside. 

“I’ll be down in a few minutes,” Arthur said. I walked inside and saw Arthur pulling Sophia up the stairs and disappearing. I heard a few giggles before the door of a room shutting close. I bit my bottom lip, my body shaking as I stood at the entrance. 

I walked to the sofa and sat down with a flop, tugging my bag and placing it next to me before I tore of the lid of the tupperware, shoving a biscuit into my mouth to stop myself from crying or worse, sobbing in heartbreak. 

I hadn’t even properly accepted that I might fancy Arthur more than a friend. 

_Still_ , I mumbled in my head. 

It was close to twenty minutes when Arthur and Sophia finally came back down. She was dressed in her shorts and shirt, pressing a kiss on Arthur’s cheek before she glanced at me one last time and walked out of the house, handbag hanging on her arm.

Arthur was wearing a simple white shirt with a pair of baby blue pyjama pants. He looked at me before he grinned, running his hand through his semi-wet blond hair. I continued to shove another biscuit into my mouth and looked away. 

I heard him sigh.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Arthur asked. 

“No,” I mumbled. 

Arthur disappeared into the kitchen for a few minutes before he returned with two cans of orange soda. He placed one can in front of me on the coffee table and the other, he opened it and sipped the drink, sitting next to me. 

“Hey, what’s that?” Arthur asked as he pointed at the tupperware. I hugged the tupperware close to my chest and shifted away from him, showing my back to him as I munched on the third biscuit. 

Arthur didn’t deserve these wonderful biscuits. 

It didn’t matter if I acted childish. I needed to throw a tantrum and this was the best way I could do it without directly starting an argument. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, sounding a bit amused. In response, I ignored him and continued to munch on my biscuits. I heard him shuffling a bit before he said in a slightly pouty voice, “Are you giving me the silent treatment?”

I scoffed. 

Arthur deserved worse than that. 

I munched on the fourth biscuit, feeling gleeful inside that Arthur was getting worked up just because I wasn’t paying attention to him. 

Again, it made me sound childish but I needed to do something about how I felt. 

Even if rationally I knew I had no right. 

I was just his friend. 

It was a hard pill to swallow but it was the truth. 

“Okay,” Arthur said with a sigh. “Fine. If you don’t want to talk to me, then I’ll just make you.”

I raised my eyebrows at that, staring at the biscuits in my hands. I almost choked on my biscuit when suddenly, after a minute of silence, I felt strong hands wrapping around me, trapping my hands against my chest. I squeaked, eyes wide and my cheeks flushing red when I was pulled roughly against Arthur’s chest.

A chin dug into my shoulder and a nose nuzzled at the side of my neck, sending shivers down my spine in a way that left me feeling hot under my clothes. 

I bit my bottom lip, knowing that Arthur was doing this just to get me to speak. 

I will not lose. 

I took another biscuit and shoved it into my mouth, munching on it to shove down the words when he chuckled, amused and breathy. His breaths hot against the skin of my neck and his grip on my body tightened a bit more. 

“Hm,” Arthur drawled, each word painted on my skin and left me breathless. My heart raced against my chest and nervousness started to trickle in my veins. I shifted a bit, trying to give us some room but he only dragged me back against his chest, this time he pushed forward, making me bow forward a bit. I squeaked again, clamping my mouth shut as I swallowed the biscuit. “I know you’re going to lose soon.”

I almost told him to shut up and get off at the last minute. 

He nuzzled my shoulder and squeezed me a bit before he continued to push me forward until I was bending. I flailed, panicked at the way my body bended, feeling scared that my spine was going to break in half. 

At last, I spoke, “Arthur, I’m going to break in half!”

Arthur stopped. My face burned knowing he had the look of smugness on his face. I tried to elbow him and struggle but his grip was just too strong. I panted a bit and whined. This can be all fun and games but it wasn’t going to be that soon when Arthur realised it actually caused me to feel way more than embarrassment. 

I was getting aroused at the display of his strength. 

And it made me flustered. 

“So, you’re speaking to me again?” Arthur whispered against my neck and I closed my eyes a bit, not trusting my voice as I nodded. He grinned and pulled away, dragging me back until I was no longer bent in half but against his chest. I tried to move but he only let go of his hands for a second to wrap around my waist and lean backwards. 

I flailed again until I realised what Arthur had done once he stopped moving. 

Arthur was inclined against one of the armchairs of the sofa and I was draped against his chest, his chin perched on the top of my head. 

I fidgeted, unsure of what to do, tensed. But Arthur merely adjusted his grip around my waist and squeezed, as if to tell me to relax. I knew this was a bad idea. He literally had sex with Sophia just before I arrived. It should make me feel repulsed that I was allowing him to hold me like I was his lover when he could have done the same to her a few hours ago. 

And yet, I relaxed anyway, feeling a bit shameful at the thought that I should bask in this as much as I could, while it lasted. While Arthur still touched me like this even if I knew I could never have him like how Sophia did. 

That warranted another biscuit but before I could eat that, Arthur touched my wrist and halted me. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, almost in a whisper, my heart still thundering loudly against my chest and at a very fast pace. It made breathing a hard thing to do. 

“Let me have one,” Arthur said, his voice low. I shook my head but he seemed to ignore me as he guided my hand to his lips. I turned my head to look at him, my nose brushed his cheek. He turned to look and our noses brushed a bit. I flinched backwards but Arthur held me close with one arm around my waist. 

“No,” I said as I tried to pull my hand away but he tutted and took a bite of the biscuit, his fingers circled my wrist in a tight grip and his eyes trained on mine. My face was totally red as a tomato and my mind blanked. Another shiver ran down my spine and there were obvious signs of arousal pooling at the pit of my stomach.

Any more of these— _weirdness_ —and I was going to have a hard situation in my hands. 

A literal _hard_ situation. Which would ruin me if Arthur saw how it affected me. 

Our friendship could end. 

And that was the last thing I wanted. So, I looked away and snatched my wrist back, dropping the half biscuit in the tupperware and stood up, forcing Arthur to let me go. I gave him the tupperware of biscuits and opted to sit at the other side of the armchair, putting as much distance as I could between us. 

I curled my knees against my chest and tucked my chin on it. Arthur blinked, looking a bit bewildered before he rolled his eyes and tossed the remaining biscuit into his mouth.

“These tastes good,” Arthur said. 

“Thanks,” I mumbled, keeping an eye on him. Arthur raised his eyebrows before he pointed at the biscuits on his lap. 

“You baked these?” Arthur asked. 

“No,” I huffed. “Mum made them. To thank you for—you know, borrowing me your clothes.”

Arthur grinned, his eyes shimmered in mirth and satisfaction. “I love her,” Arthur said with a sigh as he ate another biscuit. And then, he stopped, narrowing his eyes at me. “Wait…you tried to eat these all up! These are mine!”

I rolled my eyes this time and looked away. “You didn’t deserve them in my account.”

“What? Why not?” Arthur demanded, a pout forming on his lips, making him look adorable. It made me feel a bit weak in my knees. I hugged my legs closer. 

I bit my bottom lip and looked at the coffee table where my can of orange juice was next to Arthur’s opened one. 

“Wait,” Arthur said, his voice a bit off. I stiffened. “Wait, are you _mad_ that I shagged Sophia or something? Because that’s the only explanation I can come out with as to why you’re acting really bitchy right now when we’re supposed to be having fun hanging out.”

“Well,” I said, feeling anger simmering at the pits of my stomach, diminishing the arousal to nothing. “It’s not like I wanted to see her naked or anything. I think I’m traumatised.”

“Hey,” Arthur scolded. “She’s beautiful.”

I bit my bottom lip from giving my own remark about that, jealousy once more burned in my veins. “Yes, of course, _you’re_ the one shagging her, of course _to you_ she’s beautiful,” I spit out, almost too bitterly.

It stunned Arthur quiet for a moment. I saw Arthur sitting up properly, placing the tupperware of cookies on the coffee table. “Merlin,” he began, sounding serious. “I’m not sure what you’re so upset over. If it’s the shock of seeing us—or—I….” Then, there was this really awkward silence before Arthur cleared his throat. 

When I looked at him, he almost looked embarrassed as he waved his hand around at me. 

“Look, I guess coming face to face with—uh—evidence—of—uhm…sex can be a bit…overwhelming,” Arthur started, his voice pitchy and quick. “And it can also be a bit traumatising to someone who haven’t even experienced anything yet but I meant no harm and—like—”

“Wait, what the fuck are you talking about?” I had to ask, blinking in surprise at what Arthur was saying. Arthur reddened, looking even more embarrassed. 

“You know it’s fine, right?” Arthur said, at last, words rushing out of his mouth as he looked at me dead in the eyes in a way that made me want to squirm at where I sat. 

“Fine…what?” I asked, this time feeling unsure. 

“About being a virgin,” Arthur said. “It’s fine, you know. I think it’s kinda nice that you’re still a virgin. Knowing you, you’re probably waiting for the right one or even for marriage. Which is nice too. Romantic.”

I reddened. I was speechless. 

I continued to stare at him for a while before I took in a few deep breaths, trying to not jump out of the sofa and run out of the house. Arthur looked a bit wary. He had his hands held out like he was trying to calm a wild animal. I wanted to kick him in the face. 

“I,” I squeaked before I said. “I _know_ it’s fine! What the _fuck_ , Arthur?”

“I just!” Arthur began. “I thought being a virgin and all—”

“Doesn’t mean I don’t know how sex works,” I blurted out, still red and shy. 

Arthur remained quiet before he nodded. Then, he said, “So…you are…a…”

“Yes, yes I am,” I snapped. “I thought you said it’s fine?”

“Yeah, yeah, it is,” Arthur assured and then gave me a gentle smile. “I’m sorry for being indecent in front of you. Forgive me?”

Arthur— _honestly_ thought the reason I was upset was because I saw his freshly shagged face. I didn’t know which emotion to go with first. Hysterical laughing or—frowning. 

So, I opted with none of those and went with, “You’re forgiven.”

Arthur beamed. I knew that I couldn’t bring up about them shagging anymore, not without arousing suspicion so I let it go. It still hurt me and somewhere in my heart, I still wanted to slap Arthur but for now, I let it go. 

“So, you’re staying the night, aren’t you?” Arthur asked. I looked at him and frowned. 

“What? No,” I said. Arthur seemed to deflate a bit at that. 

“Come on, stay the night!” Arthur said as he picked the tupperware back onto his lap and began eating the rest of the biscuits. 

“No,” I deadpanned. “We’re not having a sleepover.”

Arthur snorted and grinned, a smug look on his face like he won. 

And I knew—he did. 

I groaned and let myself drape over the armchair. “Fine,” I relented at last. My heart skipped a beat at the thought of staying the night with Arthur. I quickly shoved that thought away from my mind. It wouldn't do good to think like that, not when I had witnessed first hand that what I wanted would never happen. 

“Great, call your Mum and let her know,” Arthur said as he poked my thigh with his toes. I kicked his offending leg away. 

“And what about my uniform for school tomorrow?” I asked. “And I need my pyjamas to sleep.”

“You can borrow my clothes to sleep in,” Arthur said with a shrug. “And tell your Mum that Morgana can pick your uniform up before she comes over tomorrow morning. She’s my ride to school.”

Arthur had thought of everything. I flushed a bit when Arthur said I would be borrowing his clothes to sleep in. His scent would be mingled around me. It hit me then that I was going to be sleeping in a placethat was surrounded in Arthur’s scent. 

I almost groaned again. 

This time, it was probably due to frustration. All kinds of frustration from the matters of my heart to my suddenly very present sex drive. 

“Fine,” I huffed as I stood up, fishing my phone from my jeans pockets. I turned my back from Arthur’s triumphed look and called my Mum. 

I had a feeling I wouldn’t survive the night. 

I wouldn’t survive with my heart intact at least.


	14. It Settles In

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: Ha. Ha. Ha. Ha. From here on out is where we, ladies and gentlemen, start our roller coaster ride of emotions! Get ready! Anyways, I'm so glad so many of you like this story, guys. It makes me very happy to know that many of you liked it. :D Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos. Let me know what you guys thought and until next chapter~! -Krystal
> 
> _What would you say? If we were alone? Would you look my way? If you knew I was so crazy about you? I put my arms around you; Speechless, When you’re flirtatious, it’s my weakness — If We Were Alone (Kap Slap)_

 

 

Arthur gave me his guest bedroom to sleep for the night. The bed was comfy and the room itself looked cosy. The only problem was, I couldn’t sleep. I never had sleepovers before unless it was at Will’s place. So, this was—jarring to me. I lied awake, staring at the ceiling and sinking into Arthur’s clothes which was just a worn out shirt and a pair of loose joggers. I had blushed heavily when I wore them. 

It was just the thought of wearing something of his had sent my heart racing. I managed to shake off the thoughts at last but now, I couldn’t sleep, not when I was surrounded in everything that reminded me of him. I sighed. 

I couldn’t help but to think back to what happened a few hours ago. How I saw Sophia strutting about with clear evidence that she had him in her claws, how Arthur looked like he could be in love with her. How he seemed to gentle with how he touched her. It was like how he touched me but more romantically. 

I huffed my breath. It wouldn’t do good to think about this, not when I only felt angry and jealous.

I sat up and ran my fingers through my hair. I grabbed my phone from the bedside table, groaning when I realised it was one in the morning. I had only been lying here for one hour and I was already growing crazy. I hummed, pushing myself out of bed. 

The evil part of me, the devil with horns, told me to explore his house. Precisely the kitchen. I knew it was a breach of privacy if I did that and yet. I was curious of his house. The last time I came here, I only got to see his bedroom properly. 

I didn’t get to go anywhere else in his house besides here and we spent the rest of the night just talking and watching the tele in the living room.

It was fun. It was relaxing. For a while, I let myself believe it was nice being Arthur’s friend and I hadn’t wanted anything more. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind.

I rubbed my throat. I was parched. Maybe I should have accepted the can of orange soda when I had the chance. 

With that as an excuse to raid his fridge, I walked out of the guest bedroom and headed downstairs into the kitchen. I didn’t switch on the light, the backyard light was enough to illuminate the room in a glow. I went to the fridge and opened it up, grinning when I saw multiple cans of soda of different brands as well as fruits and vegetables. 

I couldn’t find any chocolate or frozen pizza though. I made a face at the thought that Arthur was probably one of those healthy eaters. I did find a carton of milk though so I grabbed that, turning to look at the expiration date. Satisfied that the milk wasn’t expired, I closed the fridge door and went looking for a cup or a glass.

Grabbing a glass from the cabinet after a minute of searching, I twisted the cap open and poured the milk into the glass. I sipped the milk, sighing in delight at the coolness sliding down my throat. 

I leaned against the kitchen counter, making sure I closed the milk carton properly before I did. 

It was kind oflonely here, I realised after two minutes of drinking my milk and listening to nothing but the silence. How did Arthur even live here? I couldn’t imagine living without Mum. And even if I did one day, I wouldn't want a big empty house like this. 

I hummed. I looked around the kitchen, wondering briefly if Arthur ever brought his friends here. I stopped that train of thought when I started to think about how Sophia had definitely been here more than once. The milk tasted bitter on my tongue then. I pulled the glass away and placed it on the counter. 

“Really?” I whispered to myself, patting my chest a few times when my heart throbbed in pain. Just then, I heard footsteps walking down the stairs. I steeled myself and took in a sharp breath Arthur walked into the kitchen, his blue eyes electrifying and wide. His blond hair was a mess but it looked good on him. His clothes were rumpled, a sign that he had been probably shifting on his bed like I had been too. 

I blushed. 

“Hey,” Arthur said, his voice low and rough. It sent tingles down my spine in a way that had my breath hitching and my body feeling warm. I gave him a shaky smile, swallowing the lump that formed in my throat. I grabbed the glass and decided to finish the milk. “You’re still awake?”

I nodded, licking my lips once I finished the milk. “Uhm, yeah,” I said. Arthur’s eyes landed on the glass on my hand and I blushed again, this time in shame. “Sorry,” I said. “I wanted something to drink and—sorry, I shouldn’t have taken things without your permission.”

Arthur only waved a hand at me. “It’s fine,” Arthur assured, his voice still scratchy. Again, my body tingled, my heart beating fast in my chest. My fingers shook a bit as I gripped my glass tight. Arthur scratched the back of his head and yawned, walking to the fridge and opening it up. 

“You’re awake too,” I said, awkward in the sudden silence. 

“I’m usually restless at night,” Arthur said, grabbing a can of strawberry soda. I raised my eyebrows at that as Arthur closed the fridge door and leaned against it. 

“And you think drinking sugar is going to make you _less_ restless?” I couldn’t help but to ask. Arthur snorted and opened the can, sipping on the awfully coloured drink. I could almost grimace at how much drink dye they must have put to make it that— _pink_. 

“I don’t know but I always craved something sweet whenever I can’t sleep,” Arthur said. I blinked at that a few times. 

“Huh, I crave for milk,” I said, raising my empty glass.

“You can have more if you want,” Arthur said as he pushed the milk carton towards me. I didn’t think twice as I poured another glassful of milk and sipped it. “You don’t strike me as someone who can’t sleep at night though.”

“I sleep like a baby,” I agreed. Arthur rolled his eyes at that. I shrugged. “It’s a new place for me. I don’t usually sleep well in someplace new.”

Arthur made an understanding noise at the back of his throat. “I see,” Arthur said. Arthur then lolled his head to look at me. I narrowed his eyes at the mirth in his eyes, shifting my weight from one foot to the next when I saw his eyes dragging down my body. 

“What?” I asked, heat rising to my cheeks under his scrutiny. 

“You’re a pretty scrawny thing, aren’t you?” Arthur asked, amused. 

I was offended. “What the fuck, Arthur?” I exclaimed, flailing a hand about. “Who’re you calling scrawny, you brute?”

“Brute?” Arthur asked, not sounding offended at all. I huffed, looking away from him to angrily drink my milk. 

“Piss off, I was enjoying my alone time without you,” I groused. Arthur remained silent for a while. I furrowed my eyebrows when I didn’t hear any retort. I looked at him and blinked a few more times when Arthur stared at me, one eyebrow raised. 

“What? Why are you staring at me like that?” I said, defensively. 

“ _Alone time_?” Arthur drawled. 

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. “Yeah? It was pretty silent before you and your dumb mouth came down.”

Arthur coughed a few times, clearing his throat even though I heard a few snickers escaping his lips. There was a light flush on his cheeks. “No, I mean, your choice of words.” Arthur stopped and shook his head, an amused smile on his face when I continued to look at him confused. “Never mind.”

“No, no,” I said, taking a step towards him. “No, what is it? Come on, spill.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, the smile widening. “I really think that if you don’t know what you’ve said, then it’s best to leave it behind. My mistake for pointing it out.”

“Point _what_ out?” I said, almost whining. “I don’t get it?”

“Oh for God’s sakes,” Arthur said, laughing. “It’s fine. I like your innocence. Let’s ignore what I said.”

I was taken aback at what he said. He…liked my innocence? “You like my innocence?” I asked, blood rushing to my face. 

“Yeah, sure,” Arthur said as he poked my forehead. “You have this innocent thing going on with you. It’s quite endearing. Some people like that stuff.”

“I have no fucking idea what you’re talking about,” I said. I saw the leer on his face and shook my head. “And I don’t want to particularly know, thanks.”

“I told you to drop it,” Arthur said, laughing still. 

I rolled my eyes and looked away. 

“It’s quite lonely in here, you know,” I said, after a while of silence. Arthur nodded. 

“That’s why I don’t come back here often,” Arthur said. “Maybe at night when I sleep.”

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

Arthur thinned his lips before he sucked his bottom lip and let it go. “With Father setting up this internship and that internship ‘grooming’ me for when I take over his law company and with the stress of trying to get the football scholarship for uni—it rarely gives me time to actually come back here to rest.”

I felt pity blooming in my chest. “I’m sorry,” I said. Arthur simply sighed. 

“There’s nothing I can do,” Arthur said and gave me a weak smile. “At least I have great friends and a girlfriend.”

I stilled at the thought of Sophia and cautiously nodded. Arthur eyed me for a while. “You know,” Arthur said, pushing himself from the fridge, sipping on his canned drink. “I never told you how I met Sophia.”

I flinched. “I don’t want to know,” I said, clearing my throat, hoping it didn’t sound bitter. But when Arthur’s eyes flashed, I knew he caught me.

“I don’t get it,” Arthur said. “I mean, I get it in a way, I guess. But I just don’t get it between you two.”

“What’s there to get?” I scoffed, walking past him to the living room. Arthur followed me and sat next to me when I slumped on the sofa. “We hate each other.”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, sounding contemplative. “She actually thinks you’re a threat. But I’m not—I’m not even interested in _boys_.”

I let that settle in my mind and my heart sank to the bottom of my chest. There was this sudden rush of pain in me. I frowned, clenching the glass tight. “Oh,” I said, quietly. I chewed my bottom lip, my heart thundering against my chest in an unpleasant way. Suddenly, wearing his clothes felt weird. Suddenly, being here, acting all close with him felt awful. 

“Is that how girls are?” Arthur asked, musing. 

“I don’t know,” I said, my throat tight. “I never had a girlfriend, so.”

I drank my milk. 

Arthur wasn’t interested in boys. Of course, he wasn’t. I wasn’t too. Except. I was for _Arthur_. 

“Why not?” Arthur asked, looking at me. “Didn’t you like anyone?”

“No,” I said. 

“Even now?” Arthur asked again. 

I looked at him then, my eyes searching his face. There were invisible chains tightening its grip around my heart until it was squeezed tight. 

“Maybe,” I breathed out, looking away. 

“You do?” Arthur asked, intrigued. 

“I don’t know, to be honest,” I said, gritting my teeth. “Can we change the subject?”

Arthur looked taken aback at that. “Sorry,” he said after a while. “If I made you uncomfortable.”

“No, I,” I said, shaking my head. “I’m just confused why I like them, that’s all.”

Arthur licked his lips after he sipped his soda. “Do you want to talk about it?”

“Are you in love with her?” I asked abruptly, unsure of why that was the question that entered my mind. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows before he leaned against the armchair. I kept my gaze on my feet, my mind blanking the longer he remained silent. 

“I don’t know,” Arthur whispered, his voice low. “If I’m being honest, I—I’m confused myself.”

I looked at him. “You’re confused about her?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, sighing. “We’ve been together for almost a year and a half. I should be in love with her, right? But I just don’t know.”

“Then why do you stay with her?” I asked and Arthur chuckled. 

“Because she’s nice,” Arthur said. “She’s kind. She understands me even if sometimes she overreacts. She’s been there when I needed her. She isn’t like the other girls, Merlin. Maybe I just need more time to fall for her.”

“Ah,” I said, voice weak. 

After a while of silence, I said, “I don’t want to love them.”

Arthur flitted his eyes on me. “The person you fancy?”

“Yeah,” I admitted, my heart cracking in my chest. “It hurts to even see their face sometimes. But then they do something nice and I find myself thinking, ‘It’s okay, just for a little while longer and I’ll get over it’. But it’s getting worse. And I don’t want to fall for them. I don’t even want to like them in anyway than a friend.”

“Sounds complicated,” Arthur said. 

“You have no idea,” I said, chuckling bitterly as I finished my milk. 

“If it helps,” Arthur said, voice careful. “You can always tell them how you feel.”

“And then hate me for it?” I said, looking at him like he was crazy. “No thanks. I’ll be fine.”

Arthur promptly remained quiet before he hummed. “Who is it?” he asked. 

“Nobody you know,” I lied. Arthur raised his eyebrows before he furrowed them, his lips thinning. 

“I won’t tell anyone, you know,” Arthur said. 

“I trust you,” I said, smiling at him. “But it’s best if you don’t know, okay?”

Arthur looked perplexed and slightly annoyed. But all he said at last was a rough, “Fine.”

It was a bit awkward after that. I stood up to leave Arthur at the living room and went to wash the glass. Something didn’t feel right all of a sudden. Had I said something wrong? 

When I walked back to the living room, Arthur had already switched on the television and was opening a cupboard filled with movies. 

“What are you doing?” I asked. Arthur glanced over his shoulders before he smiled and pointed at the DVDs. 

“Pick one, let’s watch a movie,” Arthur said, his voice no longer rough or filled with restrained frustration. I furrowed my eyebrows, wondering what made Arthur act so differently just now. I pushed that thought away when I realised that Arthur was expecting an answer. 

I walked to where Arthur was and my eyes immediately landed on a romantic comedy. I glanced at Arthur, cheeks pink when I poked at it. Arthur snorted as he picked the movie from the rack. 

“Of course you’d choose this,” Arthur said, a laugh in his voice. I slapped his arm.

“Hey, you asked me to choose,” I told him. 

“Fair,” Arthur said as he closed the doors and went to put the movie on. 

“Do we need anything while watching the movie?” I asked. I wasn’t particularly hungry and my thirst was quenched. Arthur shook his head as he stood up, pressing play with a remote and walked to the sofa. He flopped on it before he grabbed my wrist and dragged me down to sit next to him.

“Nah, we’re fine,” Arthur said as he slumped his body on the cushions of the sofa. “Let’s just watch this.”

I smiled and nodded, grabbing a pillow and placed it on my lap. 

“Hey,” I said, realising something. “You can’t make fun of me for choosing this movie when this movie is in your shelves!”

Arthur chuckled, his shoulders shaking. He lolled his head to look at me before he smiled. 

“Right,” he said. I looked at him and noticed that his eyes were drooping. 

“Maybe you should go to bed,” I said, poking his shoulder. 

“I’m fine,” Arthur said, his voice becoming weak. It was obvious that Arthur was falling asleep and it was somewhat endearing to watch him fight it. 

“Arthur,” I said. “Go to bed. I’ll watch the movie and close everything up.”

“It’s fine,” Arthur said and yawned. I gave him a look and he pushed my arm. “Shut up. Do you want to watch the movie or sleep too?”

I looked at the tele screen before I shrugged. “I kinda want to watch it.”

Arthur nodded and then he nudged my legs. I blinked at him and settled my legs on the floor. I watched as Arthur adjusted the pillow on my lap and then he went to lie flat on the couch, his head nestled on my lap. 

I froze. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, surprised. 

“You want to watch. I want to sleep,” Arthur said. “But I want to spend time with you, so.”

“Arthur,” I said, unsure of what to feel at the soft smile on his face. 

“Just watch the movie and let me sleep,” Arthur mumbled, turning to his side so his face was buried against my stomach. I immediately touched his head, trying to stop him from wriggling on my lap. My face burned, my fingers itched to touch Arthur’s hair now that they were on it. 

“It’s—You can sleep on your bed—you don’t—,” I said, helplessly flustered. Arthur looked at me, cracking an eye open. 

“Is this making you uncomfortable?” he asked. 

I opened my mouth before I stopped. Why did Arthur have to look at me like that? All earnest and honestly worried that he might make me uncomfortable? It wasn’t unpleasant, if I was being honest. I liked Arthur here on my lap. 

“No,” I said at last, berating myself for being weak for those eyes. Arthur smiled then before he patted the hand on his head. 

“Then, shut up and let me sleep,” Arthur said. I couldn’t help but to feel tense though. At last, after a minute of nothing but staring at him, I sighed. I bit my bottom lip as I looked away from him, trying to focus on the movie, trying my hardest to convince myself that this was two friends would do. 

Didn’t girls do these kinds of things with their best friends too? 

It was something like that. It had to be. 

Soon, I got hooked on the movie, forgetting that Arthur was sleeping on my lap. My hand absent-mindedly ran through his hair and I stopped when the movie ended. A weak noise from Arthur had me looking at him, hitching a breath when I saw my fingers entangled in his hair. 

Arthur made another soft noise and for a moment, I thought something was wrong. I moved my fingers to pull away from his hair and paused when Arthur settled the minute my fingers brushed through his hair. 

My heart swelled in my chest. 

The way Arthur looked sleeping on my lap, it made my heart stutter too. I experimentally ran my fingers through his hair again and felt a coo getting caught in my throat when Arthur settled properly in his sleep, relaxing under my caresses. It was—nice. 

It made me smile. 

Arthur was a touchy person in general, this was confirmed a hundred percent when it even took gentle pats to his hair to make him sleep peacefully. 

It was also a bit saddening. Arthur must have been craving for touches and for a parent like Uther to exist, Arthur must have had a cold childhood. 

“It’s fine,” I found myself whispering. “You’re not alone anymore.”

I let my body settle back against the sofa and continued to look at him sleep. I knew that I should be feeling like a creeper for doing this. But—after the conversation just an hour ago, it made something painfully clear to me. 

I couldn’t keep these feelings for Arthur. Not when he wouldn’t return them. Not when I was confused too. And selfishly, I wanted to be able to keep these touches and soft looks to myself for a while longer before moving on and becoming better on just being Arthur’s friend. 

This was the last time I would indulge myself, I promised as I continued to run my fingers through his soft blond hair. 

My heart wilted in my chest anyway when I closed my eyes and tilted my head backwards. 

Sleep came too soon. 


	15. The Awkwardness

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Well, this was fun to write~ It'll only get more--plottish????? (I'm definitely sure that's not a word) from here. This is the beginning of Merthur slash, my friends. This is just the beginning and it's all uphill to conflict in the plot-story-triangle thing. Thank you all who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and until the next~! -Krystal

 

 

 

I woke up to a stiff neck and an aching back. My fingers felt numb, stuck in blond hair and my lips felt chapped. I bit back a groan as I shifted, my legs were numb too. I licked my lips for a while, clearing my throat, my eyes burned when there was a flash of light.

“This is going straight into my ‘things to use for blackmail’ folder,” a familiar voice said with a chuckle. I opened my eyes then, staring right into a pair of amused green eyes. 

It took my brain a few seconds to realise who I was staring at but when I did recognise the face, I sat up properly, groaning when there was a twinge of pain in my back. 

“M—Morgana,” I croaked, my voice scratchy. 

“Why, hello there, Merlin,” Morgana said, her grin too wide on her face. “How do you feel on this fine morning?”

“Huh?” I asked, confused when she began to leer. “What?”

“Ugh, what the fuck is going on?” a voice said, his voice low and huffy. I froze when I realised that there was a weight on my legs. I snapped my eyes on the messy blond hair and tired blue eyes, looking at me before he looked at Morgana. “Morgana?”

“Hi, Arthur,” Morgana said with a snicker, slapping her knees as she sat on the coffee table. “How did you sleep?”

“What are you even talking about?” Arthur groaned and turned away, snuggling into my stomach as a hand touched my back. I took in a sharp gasp and pulled my hand away from his hair like I was burned. I jolted my legs until Arthur huffed and sat up, running his hands through his bed hair, some strands sticking out at the back of his head. 

I bit back from commenting at how cute he looked and looked at Morgana. My cheeks flushed when she raised an eyebrow at me, a curious look entered her eyes. 

“What time is it?” Arthur asked, his voice was dark and grouchy. It reminded me of last night when his voice was low and clouded with sleep. It didn’t fail to send the familiar hot prickles down my spine. I immediately stood up and fell back on the couch, yelping as I felt ants crawling on my legs. 

My legs hurt. 

Arthur chuckled, patting my shoulder as he stood up easily, stretching upwards. His shirt rode up a bit, showing a flash of tan skin. I forced myself to look away, frustrated at my hormones. 

“You have an hour to get ready,” Morgana answered Arthur before she stood up. She grabbed her bag from the floor and took out my neatly folded school uniform and handed it to me. “Here’s yours. Your Mum told you to make sure you eat breakfast and to call her before you head to school.”

“Right,” I said, grabbing the clothes. “I think I’ll call her now, actually.”

“I’m going to shower first then,” Arthur said, scratching the back of his neck. 

Morgana nodded and nudged him to start walking away. Once Arthur was gone from my sight, Morgana immediately sat next to me, her green eyes shimmered. 

“What happened last night?” she demanded. “He was sleeping on your lap!”

“I,” I started and then flushed, hugging my uniform to my chest. “Dunno. He just fell asleep on me.”

Morgana raised her eyebrows at me. “Uh-huh,” she said. “Sure. He just fell on your lap, asleep.”

I bit my bottom lip. “Nothing happened if that’s what you’re implying,” I said, my mood dampened a bit when I remembered our conversation from hours ago. He wasn’t interested in boys. 

“I’m not implying anything,” Morgana said, faux innocence in her voice. “Are you?”

“No!” I said, standing up. “If you’re done interrogating me, I’m going to go shower and call Mum.”

Morgana snorted, waving me away. “We’re still talking about this!” she hollered after me. 

I rolled my eyes before I shouted back, “There isn’t anything to talk about!”

And true, there wasn’t. Arthur simply decided to sleep on my lap because he wanted to spend time with me. My heart gave a treacherous leap at that. I scolded myself as my body buzzed, remembering how soft his hair had felt through my fingers and how comforting his weight had been on my legs. 

“It wouldn’t do you any good, Merlin,” I murmured to myself. I walked into the guest bedroom, snatching my phone. I dropped my uniform on the bed and sat down at its edge, calling my Mum. I noticed that Will had left a missed call as well. 

I’ll apologise to him later when I see him at school, I thought to myself. 

“Merlin,” Mum said when she answered the call. “How are you, dear?”

“Fine,” I said, stifling a yawn. “I didn't sleep until three, I think.”

“You couldn’t sleep?” Mum asked, a knowing tone in her voice. I smiled. 

“Yeah, but I fell asleep after drinking some milk,” I explained to her. She hummed under her breath. “Where are you?”

“I’m just about to leave for work, love,” she said and I could hear distant keys jiggling at the back. “I have to go now, Merlin. Have a safe trip to school, alright? Call me if you need anything.”

“Alright,” I said and wished her goodbye as well. I hung up and tossed my phone on the bed, standing up. Grabbing my uniform, I walked into the bathroom that came with the room. Scanning around the bathroom, I noticed that there was already spare towels and toiletries as well as a new toothbrush still in its packaging waiting for me at the sink. 

I nodded, satisfied as I stripped myself naked and closed the bathroom door shut.

 

***

 

Morgana was in the kitchen, making toasts and eggs for us by the time I came down. She glanced at me and smiled, plating two slices of toasts and some scrambled eggs on a plate before handing it to me. “Here,” she said. 

“Arthur isn’t down yet?” I asked as I took a seat at the kitchen table. 

“No,” Morgana said, a fond sigh left her lips. “He’s always taken quite some time to shower.”

I chuckled, nodding. “So,” I said. “Did you bring my bag too?”

“No,” Morgana said, deadpanning. “I only brought you your clothes and nothing else.”

I snorted. “Sorry for asking,” I said, raising my eyebrows at her, earning rolled eyes back at me. 

“Don’t be so snarky early in the morning, Merlin,” Morgana said. “It’s not a good look on you.”

“Hey,” I protested. “I think snarky works for me.”

“Hm,” Morgana said as she turned off the stove and placed the eggs on two more plates before she dumped the hot pan, sizzling into the sink. “Right,” she drawled, fixing up four more toasts and dividing them into half for the two plates. 

She shoved one plate of toast and eggs into a microwave and closed the door while grabbing the other plate for herself. She then sat down in front of me. 

I glared at her before huffing a breath. 

“So, what were you doing here?” Morgana asked, curious. 

I coughed a bit before Morgana pushed a glass of water to me. “Thanks,” I said, drinking the water before I shrugged. “Nothing much.”

“Right,” Morgana said. “Last I heard, Sophia was here.”

I made a face at her name, earning giggles from Morgana. “I saw them.”

Morgana stilled for a second before she frowned. “What?”

“Yeah,” I said with a sigh, shovelling another forkful of eggs into my mouth. “They—were _busy_.”

Morgana made a disgusted face at that. “Oh God. God, no. I can’t get rid of the image of them together—like _that_. Eww.”

I laughed, feeling a bit better that Morgana seemed to share the same thoughts as I did. 

“Wait,” Morgana said after a second of silence. “And she just _left_? After you showed up?”

“I mean, Arthur wanted me to stay and he—let her leave?” I said, blinking a few times. Morgana looked at me weirdly. 

“He…what?” she said, a bit surprised. “He shoved her out of the door when you came around?”

“Well, shoving her out of the door is a bit too much of an exaggeration,” I mumbled, flushing when I saw a weird look appearing in Morgana’s eyes. “What?”

“Huh, look at that,” Morgana said, smirking. “He left her for you.”

I looked at the plate, trying to ignore the laser green eyes on me. “No, he didn’t,” I said, my heart beating loudly in my chest. “He…Don’t say things like that. It sounds weird.”

Morgana laughed. “As long as he pushed that bitch away, I’m gonna say it however I think warrants it to be said,” Morgana said with a shrug. 

Before I could protest, Arthur walked into the kitchen, running his hand through his hair. His tie was loose around his neck and his white shirt’s last two buttons weren’t buttoned up yet, revealing his strong collarbones. I choked again and drank more water, looking away. 

“Took you long enough,” Morgana grumbled. Arthur snorted as he opened the microwave door and took his plate, joining us. 

“I had to shower, Morgana,” Arthur said. “It’s not like you don’t take hours in the bathroom, either.”

Morgana coloured a bit and Arthur yelped when I heard a stomp. 

“What was that for?” Arthur exclaimed, wincing. 

“Don’t tempt me, _bro_ ,” Morgana said, sounding extremely off with the word ‘bro’ coming out of her lips. It was almost comical. I couldn’t help but to smile at that, hiding the beginnings of a grin behind my palm. 

Arthur shivered. “Yeah, whatever,” Arthur said, pouting as he ate his breakfast. I looked at Morgana and she seemed satisfied at Arthur’s response. I looked at him then and pinked a bit when I saw him looking at me. 

“Good morning,” I said, hastily, wanting to break the silence. Arthur smiled, amused.

“Morning,” he said. Then, he frowned a bit. “Sorry about your neck. You could have woken me up after the movie ended.”

“O—oh,” I said, the back of my neck heating up. I gave him a smile, hoping it didn’t look as strained as it felt. “It’s fine. I fell asleep before the movie ended, so.”

“Ah,” Arthur said and then flashed a charming grin at me, stealing my breath. “Thanks for being a pillow. You have a surprisingly comfy tummy. For a skinny thing.”

Morgana seemed to choke on her food and I reddened extremely, standing up. “I—uh—gonna…done breakfast,” I stopped when I realised I wasn’t making any sense. I groaned when I saw how Arthur was trying to hold himself back from laughing and I realised what he did. 

“You’re a prick,” I snapped, embarrassed. “You did that on purpose!”

Arthur burst out laughing. “It’s just—your face! You looked so scandalised!” 

“A—Arthur,” Morgana said, laughing as well. I glared at them both, shaking my head. 

“You guys suck,” I said as I stomped to the sink to toss the plate in it. Then, I washed it after a moment of consideration. 

“Sorry, Merlin,” Morgana said. “It’s just so easy to tease you, though.”

“Oh, you should have seen his obliviousness yesterday night, ‘Gana,” Arthur said, perking up. “He said some things he wasn’t even sure what it sounded like.”

“Like what?” Morgana asked, sounding amused. 

“What was it, Merlin?” Arthur said, obviously having fun teasing me. I growled and went back to sit in front of them again once I washed and put the plate away. “Oh yes,” Arthur said. “He said ‘Piss off, I was enjoying my alone time without you’ and went all confused when I choked.”

“W— _What_?” Morgana squeaked, cheeks reddening. “What were _you_ doing barging into him at a time like that for?”

Arthur stopped for a second before his own cheeks flamed, looking slightly taken aback. “ _What_? No! He was at the kitchen, awake and I joined him there and he got offended at something I said,” Arthur said and then gave me a look. “Like _usual_ , and he blurted _that_ out and the funny thing is, he didn’t know what it sounded like to others.”

Morgana had turned redder before she burst out laughing again when I looked at them confused. “Okay, I don’t know why you both are making such a big deal because I said that. What’s wrong with saying ‘alone time’?”

“Oh. My. God,” Morgana said, slapping a hand on the table. “He truly doesn’t know what it sounds like!”

“That’s what I said!” Arthur said, agreeing, both having too much fun at something that I was clueless about. 

“Okay, guys,” I said. “Can someone tell me what’s so wrong about those words?” 

My own face was pinking when both pair of eyes looked at me, mixed with amusement. 

“Merlin, my sweet innocent friend,” Morgana said with a sigh. “It’s just the way you said it. It can mean two things and with perverted little minds such as us—”

“Oi, who you’re calling perverted?” Arthur said, nudging Morgana.

“As I was saying,” Morgana said, slapping Arthur’s shoulder. “It’s just those words ended up translating to ‘masturbation’ for our dirty minds.”

“What?” I said, frowning. Then. It hit me. “ _Oh_.”

Arthur barked out laughing, standing up as his shoulders shook, shovelling the rest of the food into his mouth after his laughter died down a bit and walked to the sink. Morgana shook her head, so very amused while I tried to wish for a black hole to eat me up alive. 

I squeaked at the realisation, slapping both hands to my face. “I…didn’t know how it sounded like until now,” I mumbled. 

A hand touched my shoulder. “It’s alright, Merlin,” Arthur said from behind me. “Like I said, your innocence is endearing. Someone will like that stuff.”

Morgana chuckled. “Stop trying to corrupt him, Arthur and let’s get going. We have classes to attend.”

“Right,” I said, voice trembling from embarrassment as I stood up. 

I scowled as I followed the two of them out of the front door once I made sure that I had my yesterday’s clothes and Arthur’s clothes in my hands. I made sure the blond didn’t know I took them. I thought the best way to thank him for burrowing his clothes was to wash the clothes and give it back to him later. 

Morgana unlocked her car and got in the driver’s seat, and Arthur got in the passenger’s seat. I shrugged as I took the backseat, finding my school bag there where I opened the zip and shoved the clothes inside. 

“Don’t forget,” Arthur said as he looked over his shoulders at me. “We still have footie practise.”

I huffed, nodding once. “Alright,” I said. 

Arthur flashed me another amused smile that I rolled my eyes at, glowering when Morgana laughed again.

 

***

 

Will immediately hugged me before he shook my shoulders the minute I saw him. “Where’ve you been, mate?” Will asked. “I called you and you didn’t answer.”

“Ah,” I said, giving him a weak smile. “I was at Arthur’s place.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows, looking confused. “Why?”

“He wanted to hang out with me?” I said, feeling a bit awkward under Will’s gaze. 

“Huh,” Will said before he grinned, slapping my arm. “Look at that, my best friend made new friends and is having sleepovers with them!”

I sensed an underlying tone of worry in his voice though and I smiled. “Will, you’re still my best friend,” I said. “Even if I get ten million new friends, you’ll always be my best friend.”

Will relaxed a bit under the assurance and nodded. “Thanks, mate.”

“You dork,” I said, rolling my eyes at him affectionately. Will pouted before he took a step back. 

“So, let’s get going,” Will said. I nodded and walked down the hallway to get to my locker. “He asked you to hang out, did he?” Will asked after a few seconds of silence. I reached my locker and opened it, nodding. 

“Yeah,” I said, shrugging as I stuffed my bag inside and took out the books I needed for the first class of the day. “It was…fun.”

Will had a weird look on his face when I looked at him. “You don’t sound like you had fun.”

I sighed as I closed the locker door. “Can I…talk to you about something? Later?”

Will furrowed his eyebrows before he nodded, looking wary. “Is something the matter? Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” I said, assuring him quickly when I saw worry creeping back into his eyes. “I’m just confused about some things and I really need to talk to someone about it.”

Will smiled before he patted his own chest. “That’s what best friends are for, mate. Find me after school then.”

“Great, thanks,” I said. “I’ll come over to your house after school today.”

Will nodded. Just as we were about to walk to our classes, Lancelot came rushing towards me. He looked frantic, eyes wide. Will touched his shoulder and halted him before he went barrelling into me. 

“Woah, mate,” Will said, looking amused. “What’s the rush?”

“Merlin!” Lancelot said. “Will! Guys. I need help.”

“And that’s why we’re here,” Will said, grinning. I rolled my eyes. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked Lancelot. He waved his hands around before he took in a deep breath and calmed down. 

“Someone is planning on asking Gwen out,” he blurted out, his cheeks reddening. 

I cracked a grin at that. “You still haven’t asked her out?”

Will frowned. “Wait—what? Oi! You like Gwen?” 

Lancelot chuckled nervously. “I do,” he admitted, looking at Will with puppy eyes. “Sorry I didn’t tell you. I wasn’t…I only told Merlin about it. I wasn’t ready to make a move.”

Will huffed out a breath. “Mate, what are you doing here talking to us? Go and ask her out then!”

“I can’t!” Lancelot said, looking miserable. “I don’t even know how to approach her.”

“Hm,” I mused. “Maybe you should just walk up to her and say hi, Lance. She’s a nice girl. She’s friendly too. She’ll say hi back.”

“I’m just,” Lancelot began and stopped. “Nervous.”

“I get it,” Will said, nodding. “How about we help you, yeah?”

“Will,” I said, deadpanning. “We don’t even know the first thing about approaching a girl we like. Especially you.”

Will slapped my arm. “Oi, I’ll have you know, I’m the master of these kinds of things.” I kept looking at him until he grumbled, “Okay, fine, so we’re not the best at this.”

“How about we ask Morgana to help us,” I said, clapping my hands together. Lancelot gave me a dubious look.

“Will she help us?” Lancelot asked. 

“Morgana will help,” I said, confidently. Will glanced at me before he shrugged.

“Yeah, I think so too,” Will said. “Besides, Gwen is her best friend. She’ll know how to get you to ask Gwen out.”

Lancelot looked a bit relieved at the idea. “Alright, if you think so.”

“I know so,” I said. “Morgana will never say no knowing it’s you that’s going to date Gwen. She knows you. It’ll be fine.”

 

***

 

“ _No_.” 

“Morgana, _please_ ,” I pleaded as I grabbed her elbow. 

“No, Merlin!” she said before she pointed a finger at Lancelot. “I will not help my precious best friend get—get— _eaten_ —by a jock of all things!”

I blinked at her. “Hey,” I said. “I’m a jock now.”

Morgana scoffed. “Please, Merlin. You’re never going to be a jock.”

I should be more offended by that but I wasn’t. It was true, anyway. I sighed and pushed her away a bit, earning her indignant squawk. 

“Did you just push me?” she exclaimed. 

“Fine, if you don’t think you’re capable of helping—”

“Woah, woah, _woah_ , hold on a second,” Morgana said, her eyes narrowing at me. “I’m more than capable to help, thank you very much. I just choose not to.”

“Uh huh,” I said, knowing right there and then how to convince her. “Sure. Never mind, I’ll just find—”

Morgana hissed before she huffed and crossed her arms against her chest. “Fine!” she said. “Fine.” Then, she stared at Lancelot. “If you ever hurt her—I swear—”

“I won’t!” Lancelot said, looking horrified at the prospect. “I would never…I like her _a lot_ , Morgana. Please, I really want to ask her out on a date.”

Morgana sighed before she eyed Lancelot up and down. At last, she nodded. “Fine, the Great Queen Morgana will help you get a date with my beloved Queen, Gwen.”

I blinked. 

“What am I then in your fantasy world?” I asked, amused. Morgana gave me a wicked grin.

“You’re my manservant, of course!” she declared. I laughed, shaking my head at her imagination. “Alright, pushing aside the silliness, I’ll help. I mean it, Lancelot. Don’t break her heart, okay?”

“I promise you, I won’t,” Lancelot vowed, a hand placed on his chest. Morgana finally smiled.

I decided to take my leave then, not wanting to intrude them both planning. “Thanks, Merlin,” Lancelot said, giving me a smile. I patted his back before winking. 

“Good luck, mate,” I said with a wave and walked away to my class.

 

***

 

The atmosphere today at the field was light. It wasn’t as stuffy and serious as it had been a few times before. Maybe it was because we won against our ‘nemesis’ and so the rest of the season should be fine. Either way, I was less worried about practise today.

Of course, Cenred was still around. He gave me the stink eyes every time I caught him looking at me. Gwaine was next to me and kept me shielded from him, though.

“Seriously,” Gwaine said as we waited for Arthur to arrive. “I don’t understand why he’s still on the team.”

I sipped my water as I sat next to Gwaine. “Maybe—he’s good?”

Gwaine rolled his eyes. “He’s okay,” Gwaine said, making a face. “He isn’t the best.”

“Neither am I,” I murmured. Gwaine chuckled andbumped my shoulders.

“Don’t even compare yourself to that prick,” Gwaine said. “You’re so much better.”

I shook my head, amused. 

Arthur arrived then, panting out an apology for being late. 

“Alright, so,” Arthur said after we finished our warm-up. “Let’s just train basic kicking today. We’ll pick up pace in the next practise session.”

“What?” Cenred questioned, annoyed. “We still have more matches to play, Arthur. This isn’t going to help anyone.”

Arthur frowned, his hands on his hips. “It helps a lot of people,” Arthur said. I felt my cheeks reddening, wondering for a second if Arthur meant me when he said people. I felt like he did. I wasn’t the best kicker in the team. 

“No, it maybe will help Big Ears over there,” Cenred scoffed. Arthur frowned deeper.

“Cenred,” he growled. “One more word out of you and you’re out for today.”

Cenred looked absolutely furious. “I’d like to see you try, Pendragon,” Cenred spat out. Arthur gritted his teeth. 

“Guys,” Lancelot said, shaking his head. “Enough, just for today, can we have a drama-free practise?”

I almost hugged Lancelot for saying that.

“Yeah, mate,” Gwaine said, rubbing his shoulders. “It’s kind of tiring to see you two butt heads every single time we practise. And picking on Merlin, Cenred? It’s getting old, lad.”

Cenred seethed but he seemed to backdown with a mumbled, “Whatever.”

Arthur sighed, nodding. “Right,” he said even if he did throw a scathing warning glare at Cenred. “So, pick a partner and let’s do some kicking.”

“Want to become my partner?” Gwaine asked, grinning at me. I glanced at Arthur, who already had a partner and shrugged. 

“Alright, yeah,” I said. Gwaine chuckled as he went to grab a ball while I found us a place to start our practise session. Gwaine came back a minute later with the ball. He placed it in front of him and eyed me for a few seconds. 

“Ready?” Gwaine asked.

I took in a deep breath and nodded. 

With that, Gwaine kicked the ball to me. Like I suspected, I didn’t even manage to get the ball. It just flew right past me. I groaned as I turned around, jogging to catch the ball. 

“It’s fine,” Gwaine said when I gave him a sheepish smile once I came back with the ball. “Let’s try again. This time, you kick.”

And so I did. 

Only, the ball barely even moved a few inches before it came to a stop. Gwaine laughed, shaking his head.

“Don’t be scared to kick the ball, Merlin,” Gwaine said as he nudged the ball back to my feet. I sighed, my cheeks pinking. 

“I’m trying,” I grumbled. This time when I kicked the ball, I made sure I wasn’t shy with the power. Turned out, that was a wrong thing to do as the ball came crashing against Gwaine’s chest. He stumbled backwards before he landed on his arse with a sharp thud, his hands cradling the ball. 

My eyes widened as I rushed to him, kneeling beside him to look at him. “Oh God,” I exclaimed, worried. “I didn’t mean to do that!”

“Is everything alright there?” Arthur asked. I glanced over my shoulders to see Arthur had stopped kicking his ball to his partner, eyebrows furrowed. 

“All is fine!” Gwaine bellowed, giving Arthur a thumbs up before he looked at me. “I’m fine, mate.”

Gwaine touched my shoulder and patted. “Don’t have to feel bad,” Gwaine continued when he saw that I still had a worried look on my face. 

“Alright,” I said, standing up. I helped him up to his feet. I shook my head when Gwaine pushed the ball to me. 

“Merlin,” Gwaine said, amused. “I’m fine. It takes more than just a ball to hurt me.” 

I took the ball from him but I was nervous. When I kicked again, the ball went flying past Gwaine’s face. Gwaine only laughed even if I saw him looking a bit pale. 

“Remind me not to piss you off,” Gwaine mumbled. I cracked a nervous grin at that. 

“Remind me to not go near a ball,” I retorted. Gwaine laughed. 

“Touché,” Gwaine said as he got back the ball. 

“Just, why don’t you kick now, okay?” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. Gwaine looked at me for a while before he sighed. 

“Alright, fine,” Gwaine said. “But you’re going to kick after this.”

I nodded. 

Just as Gwaine was about to kick the ball, we both stilled when we heard the familiar screech of Arthur’s name from the field. I groaned under my breath, the image of Sophia half-naked rushed into my brain, making me sick. Gwaine looked pained as well.

I looked over my shoulders and saw Arthur pecking her lips. She had her arms wrapped around his neck and idly played with his hair for a while until Arthur smiled and pecked her cheek, pushing her away from him with hands on her waist. Sophia then waved at Arthur and walked away, her hips swaying as she left the stadium. 

I rolled my eyes, making fake gagging noises in my mind.

“So gross,” I mumbled. Gwaine looked at me then. 

“Yeah,” Gwaine said. “She’s always bothering us in practise.”

“Tell me about it,” I grumbled, glaring at the grass. “Her voice is so squeaky.”

“I guess,” Gwaine hummed, sounding thoughtful. “With her incessant ‘Arthur!’ here and ‘Arthur!’ there like that boy is her dog.”

I bit my lips from laughing at that. “She’s a menace,” I sighed. 

“Hm,” Gwaine said. “Hey, mind if I asked you something?”

“Sure,” I said, feeling moody. 

“You like lads, don’t you?” Gwaine asked. I immediately snapped my eyes to look at him, face red. 

“W—what?” I asked. “No!”

“No?” Gwaine said, frowning a bit. “No, I think you do.”

I looked at him, searching his face but realised with my heart sinking to my chest that he was serious. I took a small step back from him, shaking my head. I clenched my fingers tight into fists. It was one thing for me to try and admit it to myself but it was a whole another thing when someone called me out on it. 

Gwaine took a step towards and then another until he was standing a few inches away from me. 

“I think you should test it out,” Gwaine said.

“T—test what out?” I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

“If you’re into lads or not,” Gwaine said with a shrug. “And since I’m single. Or I have to be because _someone_ is too noble to even kiss me without taking me out on a date, not that that _somebody_ even wanted to take me on a date,” Gwaine said, his voice raising a few octaves until some people stopped kicking to stare at us. I flushed. My eyes wide in panic. Gwaine gave me a charming smile and he continued with a normal voice, “Why not test it out, yeah?”

“What are you doing?” I asked when Gwaine finally invaded my personal space and wrapped his arms around me. Before I knew it, my face mushed against his shoulder and his arm wrapped around my waist. I froze before I started to flail, feeling eyes on me. 

I felt awkward and weird. My heart beat loudly against my chest as his warmth seeped onto my skin even through my clothes. And yet—it felt _wrong_. I thumped his back a few times. 

“Calm down,” Gwaine whispered in my ear. I closed my eyes and attempted to do just that. “Just calm down and…feel.”

“I—I don’t know what you’re doing,” I mumbled against his shoulder, taking in a deep breath but even his scent was wrong. It wasn’t men’s cologne with a hint of peaches. 

“I’m hugging you like I would hug my girlfriend,” Gwaine said. “Or boyfriend. I’m not picky. And you’re an attractive lad.”

I reddened and gasped when Gwaine was snatched away from me. He stumbled a few steps back as a hand grabbed his elbow tight. Gwaine glared at Percival, who only looked upset looking back at him. 

“What?” Gwaine asked, snatching his elbow back. Percival sighed. 

“Arthur,” Percival said and before he could say anything, a hand touched my shoulder, jerking me around to face a pair of angry blue eyes. 

“What happened?” Arthur demanded. “Are you alright? Why was Gwaine hugging you? Did you get hurt?”

I blinked for a while before I realised that Arthur thought something must had happened to me and that was why Gwaine hugged me. I shrugged his hand off my shoulder and bit my bottom lip, blushing red when I glanced over my shoulder and saw Gwaine leering at me. Percival though looked ready to glare at me even though I did nothing wrong. 

“I—I’m fine,” I stuttered. 

Arthur frowned and tried to touch me again, only I avoided him. He looked confused and then he looked upset. There was small traces of anger in his eyes and he looked over my shoulders at Gwaine. He huffed his breath before he crossed his hands against his chest. 

“Fine,” Arthur groused before he looked at his teammates. “Take ten minutes break.”

I didn’t overanalyse the emotions I saw running in Arthur’s eyes when I walked away from him to the bench. Gwaine was pulled roughly to the side of the field by Percival. They seemed to be arguing. I frowned, hoping that they were fine. Gwaine at the end stormed away, shouting something at Percival who in returned looked resigned. 

Gwaine ended up walking towards me and sat down with a huff. Arthur looked at him and then at me before he looked away, concentrating on talking to Lancelot. 

I rolled my eyes, feeling mildly irritated. 

“What happened just now?” I asked Gwaine, feeling a bit angry at him too. Gwaine glanced at me before he gave me a sheepish smile. 

“I’m sorry,” Gwaine said. “It’s just—I thought it’s a great plan.”

“What plan?” I asked, sipping the water from my bottle.

“You fancy Arthur, yeah?” Gwaine said. 

I choked on my water. “W—what?” I asked. Gwaine grinned.

“You fancy Arthur,” Gwaine said. 

“N—No!” I said, hissing at him. Gwaine raised his eyebrows. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone,” Gwaine assured, furrowing his eyebrows a little while later in worry. “You know you’re my friend, right?”

“Oh,” I said and then I nodded, my cheeks reddening. “Yeah, you’re my friend too. It’s just…it’s complicated.”

Gwaine huffed his breath, slapping my shoulder. “I feel you.”

“What was the plan?” I asked. 

“It’s to make _him_ jealous,” Gwaine mumbled. I suspected the ‘him’ was Percival. “And I thought it would be a great idea to make you realise you like lads too.”

“How do you know I like…lads?” I asked, feeling uneasy. “It’s not…obvious, is it?”

“No, no,” Gwaine said, a soft smile on his face. “I just know what to look for. You look at Arthur in a way you don’t look at any other boys.”

I sighed, rubbing my face. 

“Besides, I think he might fancy you too,” Gwaine said. I shook my head immediately.

“No, he doesn’t,” I said with a dry chuckle. “He’s not interested in boys. Told me himself.”

“Oh,” Gwaine said, frowning. “Oh, that’s…huh. Could’ve sworn he looked like he want to try and tear my limbs off for touching you.”

I kicked his leg, earning a yelp from him. “Don’t talk nonsense,” I said. Gwaine opened his mouth and then he closed it, shaking his head.

“What’s so hard about this anyway?” Gwaine grumbled. “You like someone, just bloody well tell them. Nothing bad is going to happen.”

“Yeah, unless losing a friendship is considered nothing bad,” I scoffed. Gwaine looked solemn at that. I furrowed my eyebrows, worried. “Is that…what’s happening with you and Percival?”

Gwaine looked a bit startled at that question before he chuckled, unamused. “It’s so stupid. We kissed at the party. I thought, foolishly, he might feel the same. Turns out he’s convinced that there’s nothing going on between us and we’re just friends. ‘A drunken mistake, that’s all,’ he says.”

I made a sympathetic noise at that. “Gwaine,” I said. Gwaine rubbed the back of his neck. 

“I would have moved on too if not for the fact he keeps looking at me with the same eyes he looked at me that night,” Gwaine said. “And he gets jealous when I try to be with someone else but he won’t admit it that he could have me instead. He’s a stubborn piece of shit.”

I patted Gwaine, unsure of what to say. Gwaine sighed before he slapped his knees and stood up. “Ah well, sorry for burdening you with my sob story.”

“No, no, it’s…fine,” I said, giving him a smile as I stood up. “I don’t know what to say since I don’t have a lot of experience in these kinds of things. But—I hope everything works out fine for you two.”

Gwaine gave me a genuine smile. “For both of our sakes, I hope that too.”

 

***

 

Arthur looked tense as I shifted my weight from one foot to the other. When Lancelot finally left with a wave, I poked Arthur’s shoulder. He froze before he ignored me for a second to wear his shirt. 

“What?” he asked, his voice low, still not looking at me. I frowned. 

I closed the locker door and leaned against it. “What’s wrong?” I asked. 

Arthur stilled again before he shook his head and slammed the locker door shut. He then took a deep breath and turned to look at me. 

“I assumed,” Arthur said, his hands shoved in his trousers pockets. I blinked. 

“Assumed what?” I asked, noting that he looked weird. He seemed to be holding himself back from something even when his eyes were screaming loudly at me. I wasn’t sure what he wanted. 

“Assumed,” Arthur started, his jaw clenched. “That it was a girl.”

“A…girl?” I asked, confused. “I’m not sure what…”

“Oh for God’s sakes,” Arthur mumbled. “The person you like, I assumed it was a girl. It isn’t though, is it?”

I was taken aback at that. I opened my mouth but then closed it. My cheeks reddened and my heart thumped loudly against my chest. I felt panicked, trapped under Arthur’s knowing gaze. He looked even—angry at that.

“What?” I asked, my voice a pitch higher. 

“It’s not a girl,” Arthur said, this time, he sounded surer and angrier. “It’s a boy.”

I felt my heart stop beating for a millisecond, enough for me to lose my breath. 

“Why do you look like that?” I couldn’t help but to ask, anger starting to burn in my veins. “Do you have a problem with that?”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. “You’re not denying it,” he stated. 

I thinned my lips. I could deny it. 

I could try. 

But Arthur wouldn’t buy it. Not when he looked determined enough that he got it right. And he did. 

I was uncomfortable that another one, especially Arthur, pointed it out to me. 

“I asked if you have a problem with that,” I repeated, not wanting to back down. If Arthur turned out to be one of those pricks—I was either going to slap him across his face or cry. I hoped Arthur wasn’t such a person. I didn’t want to believe someone this kind and caring could do something so mean. 

“No,” Arthur finally said, shaking his head. “No, of course not! Who do you think I am?”

I slumped my shoulders in relief. Arthur took a small step forward.

“Merlin, you know I’m not,” Arthur said. “I’m not a homophobe, alright? I’m the Captain of a football team which consists of at least two boys who are gay and another one bisexual. I’m fine with it.”

“Alright,” I said. 

“How could you even think that of me?” Arthur asked, sounding offended. I raised my hands. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. “You looked at me like you wanted to squash me or something.”

“What? No, I didn’t!” Arthur said, frowning. Then, his cheeks pinked a bit. “Did I?”

“Yes!” I said. “You’re all angry and mean-looking and…I don’t know. I thought you hated me or something.”

“Merlin, no,” Arthur said, shaking his head. There was a smile on his face but it wasn’t large or sincere. There was something wrong. “I’m not, okay?”

“Okay,” I said, slowly. “Then…what’s wrong?”

“It’s Gwaine, isn’t it?” Arthur asked, a few seconds of silence. I choked down a surprised laugh.

“What? No!” I said. “It’s not Gwaine!”

Arthur frowned, the weird look in his eyes melted away. “What? But you were hugging him.”

“Well, he hugged me first,” I corrected.

“And you didn’t push him away!” Arthur said, pointing at me.

I shrugged. “He’s a great hugger?” I said, trying not to sound weird. Gwaine was a nice hugger but he wasn’t as good as Arthur. 

I reddened at that thought, earning narrowed eyes from Arthur.

“Huh,” Arthur said as he took a step towards me. He looked—different again. “I thought…,” he started and then he stopped, licking his lips. I saw him clenching his fingers into fists and his eyes flashed. There was a dark look on his face that made my stomach flip in a weirdly good way. 

It made me weak in my knees. 

Arthur closed his eyes and he took a step back. When he opened his eyes, the dark look was gone, replaced with a confused one. “Uhm,” Arthur said and then he pointed at the door. “I’m going to leave. I just…I—remembered I have to do something.”

“Oh,” I said. I tried to touch his shoulder but he just flinched away. 

I would be lying if I said that didn’t hurt. 

Arthur walked away then, without even saying goodbye, leaving me so utterly confused and hurt. I bit my bottom lip, feeling my face redden in horror. Was Arthur not going to be my friend anymore?

Even though he assured me it was fine—what if it still made Arthur weirded out?

I rubbed my face, resisting the urge to slam my face against the locker doors. I was panicked, confused and hurt beyond belief. I needed to talk to Will. 


	16. It Dawns to the Core

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Hahahahahahah. This had been fun to write. Feel free to choose sides. Anyways, playfulness aside, I'm a bit unsure of this chapter. I hope it's a good chapter though. Hm. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos! I appreciate all the love this story is getting, guys. <3 Let me know what you guys think of this chapter and until the next~! -Krystal

 

 

Will looked at me from the bed, hugging a pillow as I paced his room. 

“So,” Will began after five minutes of me pacing silently. “What is it you want to talk about?”

I stopped pacing for a second to look at him, my eyes wide and panicked. Will immediately frowned, pushing the pillow away from him. He patted the bed. “Sit down and talk to me,” Will said. 

I sighed and flopped in front of him on my back. “Will,” I said, running a hand through my hair. “I’m so bloody confused.”

Will ended up lying next to me. “Why?”

“I,” I said and then stopped, turning to my side to look at him. “I don’t know how to start.”

Will hummed, looking at me before he grinned. “Just start with whatever.”

“I’m trying,” I said, slightly frustrated. “But I don’t know how!”

“Okay,” Will said, drawling. “How about…you start with a general topic of your problem.”

“Like?” I asked.

“Like,” Will said. “Is your problem something to do with your studies? Friends? Your Mum?”

“No, no and no,” I said. “But I get what you mean now. And…it’s actually love?” I cringed at the word. “No, I mean like.”

Will stared at me for a while before he shot up sitting, slapping a hand on my shoulder. “Mate! You like someone?”

I hastily looked away from him. “I…It’s complicated.”

Will frowned. “What’s so complicated about liking someone?”

“Because!” I said, sitting up as well. “Will, Will, I don’t know what to do. I’m so bloody scared and confused.”

“Merlin,” Will said, touching my shoulder. “What’s wrong, mate?”

“How,” I began, feeling my throat closing up. “How do you know if you like someone? Really, honest to God, like someone?”

Will closed his mouth and then opened it. He shrugged. “I guess when you feel like everything is right when you’re with them. When you feel like they’re the only reason you can be happy. And you’ll do anything to keep them happy. Sometimes, letting them go even if it hurts if that’s what makes them happy.”

My eyes watered. 

“Merlin,” Will said. “Mate, you’re kind of scaring me.”

“I think I do like them, a lot,” I breathed out. “I think I might be falling for them.”

Will remained quiet before he wrapped his arm around my shoulders, giving me a side hug. “It’s alright, Merlin, it’s fine,” Will said. “It’s alright to be scared, you know.”

“You don’t understand,” I said, nudging Will away and stood up. I clenched my fingers into fists as I turned to look at him. “Will, I like someone I—I didn’t even think was possible to like.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows. “That sounds cryptic.”

“I,” I said. I shook my head. “I don’t know how to say this. Just thinking about it makes me feel weird inside.”

Will bit his bottom lip before he stood up as well. “Okay,” he said. “You look like you’re about to hyperventilate. Just take a deep breath, close your eyes and spit it out without thinking much. I promise, whatever it is, we’ll work it out.”

I shifted my weight from one foot to the next before I did what Will suggested. I took in a deep breath and closed my eyes. I pushed away any and every thought from my mind. Then, with tensed shoulders, I blurted out, “I think I like boys.”

It was silent for a while before Will touched my shoulder. “Merlin, open your eyes, mate.”

I hesitated to open them, scared that I might lose my best friend. But when Idid open my eyes, Will dragged me into a tight hug. I stiffened in his hug before I hugged him back and that was when the tears that were steadily gathering in my eyes ran down my face. I choked down a sob.

“It’s okay,” Will said as he rubbed my back. “It’s fine. Cry it out. It’s normal to feel scared.”

“I don’t know how this happened,” I stuttered, taking in shuddering breaths. “I didn’t even know I liked boys until a few weeks ago.”

“Shh,” Will said as he continued to comfort me. “Merlin, these things don’t happen overnight, yeah? It’s okay, we’ll talk it out and we’ll figure everything out together.”

“I—I—,” I started and closed my eyes, hugging him tighter. “Why aren’t you angry?”

Will froze. 

He pushed me away immediately, his eyes filled with hurt. “What the fuck, Merlin?” 

I bit my wobbly bottom lip, looking at my feet. “I—I like boys, Will. Aren’t you…”

“Aren’t I what?” Will snapped, his voice sharp. “Come on, tell me, am I what? Disgusted? Stupefied? Angry? Hateful? What, Merlin?”

“I’m sorry,” I said, at last wailing. I crouched to the floor and hugged my knees. 

“Oh, Merlin,” Will said, crouching in front of me before he dragged me into another bone-crushing hug. “You stupid person. How could I hate you? You’re my best mate, you idiot. You’ve always been my best friend. How can you even think that of me?”

“I—I just thought,” I whispered, my throat aching from all the sobs I tried to hold back. “I mean back at Ealdor—”

“They’re pricks who don’t know any basic manners,” Will growled, burying his face on my shoulder. “They think they’re the Kings and Queens of the world. Forget about them, Merlin. We’re in Camelot now. At the heart of London.”

I pushed him away a bit, looking at him in his eyes. “So, you don’t…mind?”

“Idiot,” Will said, a fond exasperated sigh escaped his lips as he touched my face and wiped the tears away. “You fucking idiot. I suspected, you know. You liked lads. You never made a move to say anything though, so I thought I must be wrong. I’m not weirded out or questioning you why you like boys. All I know is that you’re still my best friend, for better or for worse.”

I felt more tears gathering in my eyes. Will chuckled, amused. 

“Idiot, why are you crying so much?” Will asked. “Is it because of me? Aww, you didn’t have to feel this bad, Merlin. I know you love me and all. Hey, we can even get married if I’m the one who convinced you the wonders of everything male. I don't mind.”

I laughed, slapping his chest and pushing him away a bit. “Jerk,” I mumbled. “Thanks, Will.”

“Eh,” Will said, shrugging as he wiped the tears off my face with his hands and ran one hand through my hair, almost patting me. “I would do anything for you, mate. Because you’re my platonic soulmate.”

I cracked a grin at that, sniffing. “You’re my platonic soulmate too, Will,” I said, earning another coo from him. 

“So,” Will said as he scooted back until he leaned against the bed frame. “I know for sure I didn’t make you gay,” Will said, almost musing.

“I’m not,” I said, cutting him off. He looked at me and nodded, urging me to continue with a patient smile. “I don’t think I’m gay. I…I like girls too, I know this. I…I just…”

“Bisexual then,” Will said, easily coming to a conclusion. 

I blinked at him before I nodded. “I—I guess,” I said, weakly. Will smiled. 

“Take your time to figure it out,” Will said. “And if at the end of the day you’re not sure what you are, then don’t bother trying to find a label, okay? Be whoever you want to be.”

I immediately lunged at him and hugged him tight again, burying my face in his shoulder. “Since when did you become so thoughtful?” I teased, my voice cracking. 

I felt Will thumping my back as he hugged me back. “Oi, I’m the most thoughtful person you’ll ever meet, prat,” he said, laughing. We stayed like this for a while. 

“So, who is it?” Will asked. I pulled away and sat in front of him, our knees touching. 

“Ah,” I started and then paused. I rubbed my arm before I shrugged. “It’s someone I met recently.”

“Obviously,” Will said as he rolled his eyes. “Wait, no, if you're uncomfortable to tell me, I’ll just guess, alright?”

I sighed in relief and nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay,” Will said as he sat straighter, looking serious. “First off, is the lad in any of your classes? Is he even in our school?”

“Yes, and yes,” I said, nodding. Will nodded once, contemplative. 

“Right,” Will said. “So, if he’s in your class, damn, that’s still too many people. Okay, how about…is he in your football team?”

I froze for a second before I gave him a nod. 

Will stopped and stared at me.

“Merlin,” he began. “It’s…”

I glanced at him and looked to my hands, nodding when I realised Will guessed him right. 

“It’s Arthur?” Will asked, his voice hushed.

“Yeah,” I said, biting my bottom lip.

“Oh, Merlin, mate,” Will said with a sigh. “How?”

“He, I,” I started before I miserably shook my head. “I don’t know how. He’s always made me feel weird inside. It just took me a while to figure it out.”

Will hummed under his breath. “He has a girlfriend, you know,” Will pointed out, but he kept his voice soft. 

“I know,” I said, hunching my shoulders. 

“Can you explain to me why?” Will asked, touching my shoulder. “How, at least? Properly.”

“I just told you,” I started but Will raised his eyebrows at me. I knew he wasn’t believing my bluff. I nodded. “He makes me feel…safe.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows. “Okay,” he said. “In what way?”

My cheeks reddened. “What do you mean?”

“I mean, safe—what do you mean by that?” Will asked. 

“I mean, he keeps me safe from Cenred,” I said, licking my lips. “He also—uhm—touches me in a way that makes me feel…safe. Like I can be with him and know that no one or nothing will harm me.”

Will’s eyes narrowed. “Touches you?”

“Uhm yeah,” I said, rubbing the back of my neck. “Like, he likes hugging me and stuff.”

“And stuff?” Will demanded. “If he’s touching you inappropriately without consent—”

“Will, no,” I said, smiling a bit. “It’s just hugs, that’s all. And even if he did do anything more—it’ll be consensual.”

Will pinked a bit, clearing his throat. “So, he hugs you, does he?”

I nodded, furrowing my eyebrows as confusion coloured my mind. “He said he doesn’t do this to anyone else but me. He doesn’t hold me like he does to them. I can’t help but wonder if I’m special.”

“Maybe you are,” Will said. “Maybe he fancies you too.”

“Unlikely,” I huffed, distastefully. “He told me he isn’t into boys.”

Will hummed. “And I heard he’s been with that Sophia bitch for almost two years now.”

“A year and a half,” I corrected. “Yeah.”

“Merlin,” Will said after a few seconds of silence. “What are you planning to do now?”

“Nothing?” I said, shrugging. “I have to make sure he doesn’t hold me or touch me more than friendly pats on the shoulders, though. It’ll just get my hopes up and the last thing I want is for him to resent me because I did something stupid like…”

“Kiss him?” Will asked. I blushed red, chewing my bottom lip. 

“Yeah,” I said. Will sighed. 

“Alright, well, I’m here for you for whatever,” Will said. “I’ll always support you, mate. And if Pendragon hurts you, I’ll make sure he gets hurt ten times worse.”

I looked at him and grinned at the flash of protectiveness in Will’s eyes. I patted his knee. 

“Thanks, Will,” I said. Will grinned back.

“My pleasure, mate.”

I calmed down then, no longer feeling too confused. My head was a bit clearer. I felt better. 

Will chuckled, catching my attention. “What?” I asked.

“I just remembered something,” Will said, snapping his fingers once. “Do you remember Leon?”

I froze at that name. 

“Leon fancied you remember?” Will said, pointing at me. “Before he got scouted into the leagues or some shit like that. I think he’s even your first kiss.”

“No, no he’s not,” I snapped. “I will never ever count that as my first kiss. Ever.”

“Well, he still fancied you though,” Will said and he looked thoroughly gleeful suddenly. “I heard rumours he’s going to be taking his A-levels soon. Someone said he’s going to be joining next month.”

I looked at him blankly. “You don’t think,” I started. 

“I think so, mate,” Will said. “I heard the girls whispering about him in my English class. Besides, our school is one of the best there is.”

I groaned and rubbed my face. “Will…no.”

“Hey, I like him though,” Will said. “He’s a nice lad. He liked you even when you’re not interested in him. Maybe you can give him a try to move on from blondie.”

I let that sink in my mind before frowning. “Problem is I don’t think I fancy any other boys or will fancy any other boys besides Arthur.”

“That’s just your heart speaking,” Will said. “But you never know. Leon could probably entice you now that you know you like boys too.”

I didn’t disagree. That could be true. I shuddered at the prospect of liking another boy, just when I came to peace that I liked Arthur. 

“We’ll see,” I grumbled at the end, earning a laugh from Will.

 

***

 

A week went by with me avoiding Arthur’s more than friendly pats or hugs. I kept my distance even though it hurt to see Arthur looking more and more confused the more I didn’t pay him a lot of attention. We still do talk and we still banter but every time he got too close, I pulled away. 

He didn’t say anything about it. 

I made sure not to say anything about it either. 

“Well,” Will said as he shoved a slice of apple into his mouth as we walked down the hallway. “The rumours are true then.”

I frowned, sighing. Just like Will predicted, Leon did join this school. He was starting his semester here, much to my chagrin. I kept my eyes on a lookout for him but so far, I haven’t gotten a glimpse of him yet. 

“Did you see him?” I asked. 

Will nodded. “I saw him around, yeah.”

“Did he recognise you?” I asked. 

Will snorted, glancing at me. “No, he didn’t see me. I had half a mind to walk up to him and say hi.”

“Don’t even think about it,” I hissed, earning a laugh from Will. 

We walked to where Morgana and Gwen were seated under a tree, eating their lunch. We sat down in front of them, Will already started blabbering to Morgana about Leon. 

“He’s quite fit,” Gwen mused. I looked at her before giving her a nervous smile. 

“But Lancelot’s more fit, right?” Will said, looking a bit worried. Gwen gave him a shy smile and shrugged. I blinked at the reaction before I dragged my eyes at Morgana, who grinned. 

“Lancelot talked to her and asked her out,” she said as an explanation. Gwen covered her face with her hands. 

“That’s great!” I said. “He’s a great guy!”

“You should have seen her fantasising about him after he left,” Morgana teased. Gwen squawked and slapped Morgana’s arm. 

“Morgana!” she said, scandalised, her entire face reddened. “I did not! I merely said he was good looking and kind.”

“He is,” I mused. Gwen sighed. 

“Speaking of fantasising,” Will said, chuckling. “Leon used to have a crush on Merlin.”

Morgana’s eyes widened as she looked at me. “No way,” she said. “He did?”

“Before he got scouted,” I said, shaking my head. “I haven’t seen him for…four years now?”

“About that much, yeah,” Will said. “And speaking of the handsome devil, I see he made friends.”

Will was looking over my shoulders. I hesitated before I turned to look and saw Lancelot and a few of the footie team members talking to Leon as they walked into the school’s backyard. There, laughing with a charming grin on his face was Leon. 

His wavy-curls were tossed back and his eyes shimmered in mirth. He had a strong build and he had his hands shoved in his trousers pockets. He looked really nice. Still, he didn’t make me feel the way Arthur did. 

“He looks good,” I conceded, looking at Will. 

“Ah, well, looks like he spotted us,” Morgana said. I snapped my head back to look at them and found myself staring right into Leon’s eyes. He froze, staring right back at me, his shoulders tensed. For a while, we just stared at each other before Leon relaxed and smiled, bright and sunny like how I remembered his smiles used to be. 

Lancelot spotted us as well and patted Leon’s shoulder, saying something. Leon’s eyes didn’t leave me even when he replied to Lancelot and I forced myself to look away, clearing my throat as my cheeks reddened. 

Morgana gave me a look and I rolled my eyes, snatching her tupperware of food so that I had something to do with my hands. 

“Lancelot!” Gwen greeted, a smile on her face as Lancelot settled next to her and pecked her cheek. Lancelot looked happy. It made me smile. 

Then, Leon sat in our circle, right next to me. I jolted a bit, realising our knees brushed a bit. I scooted away, feeling a little uneasy as my face reddened more. 

“Hi,” Leon said, his voice deeper than I remembered. “I’m Leon.”

“Yes, I know who you are,” Morgana said with a friendly smile. “What is a rising footie star doing here in old humble school of mine?”

Leon laughed. “Just finishing up my A-levels like the rest of you lot,” he said. 

“That’s great, mate,” Will said. 

“Oh, wait, Will?” Leon said, sounding surprised. “Mate! It’s been so long!”

“Four years, yeah,” Will said, laughing. “Nice to see you made something out of yourself.”

“Yeah, well,” Leon said. “I’ve been lucky.”

I frowned at the slight self-dismissal and forgot for a minute that I wasn’t supposed to talk and said, “Hey, none of that now. We all saw you play, you’re great at footie.”

Leon seemed stunned as his eyes pierced into mine. I froze, my throat going dry. I flushed again as I gave him a sheepish smile, looking away. “Right,” Leon said, his voice low and breathless. “Uhm, I mean,” he said, shaking his head. “Hi, Merlin.”

“Hi,” I said, nervously rubbing the back of my neck.

“Wait, you know Will and Merlin?” Lancelot asked, sounding confused.

“Oh, yes,” Leon said. “We go way back to when we schooled together in Ealdor. I didn’t know you both were here, though.”

“Merlin got a scholarship here,” Will said, saving me from answering him. “And my dad has a new job here. So, here we are.” 

“Ah,” Leon said, musing. 

“That’s so cool that you both know each other,” Lancelot said. I shrugged before I stood up, no longer comfortable here and patted my thighs. I gave Morgana her tupperware back. 

“Well, I need to go to the library,” I lied. “I want to borrow some books for my English assignment.”

“Want me to follow you?” Will asked, his eyes twinkled. I rolled my eyes at him, knowing full well that Will was finding this amusing. 

“No, I’ll be fine,” I said. 

“Do you mind if I joined you?” Leon asked, looking at me from the ground. I hesitated but at the end, I couldn’t say no. Not when he had been nothing but polite. Besides, he didn’t actually do anything but have feelings for me. And maybe that sudden kiss before he ran off apologising. 

“No, I don’t mind,” I said. Leon smiled then, relieved as he nodded and stood up. 

I walked away from them with a wave, Leon walking right beside me. We didn’t speak for a few minutes until Leon broke the silence with a soft sigh. 

“Look, Merlin, about the last time we spoke,” he said, sounding awkward. “I…I didn’t mean to kiss you and run away.”

I stopped walking, the memory warmed my cheeks. “It’s fine,” I said, giving him a smile. “You just pecked my lips.”

Leon nodded, smiling back. “I hope you know that I’ll like it if we’re friends.”

I looked at him properly, searching his face before I shrugged. “We’ve always been friends. Nothing’s changed. I was just…taken aback at that time. Thanks for apologising,” I said. He grinned, wide and even more relieved than before. 

“So, how’s the semester been so far?” he asked as we continued walking. 

“It’s been fine,” I said. “I’m in the football team.”

Leon made a surprised noise at the back of his throat. “No way!”

“Yes way,” I said, chuckling. “It was purely by accident though.”

“How can you accidentally join the football team?” Leon asked, sounding amused. 

“Well,” I started. “Arthur, the Captain of our team, was taunting me and I got irritated, so I kicked a ball to his face. It hit the back of his head and coincidentally at that time, our gym teacher was also the Coach. So.”

Leon laughed. “That’s an unusual way to get in,” he said. He paused for a while before he touched my elbow, gently stopping me. I took my elbow away, raising my eyebrows at him when I saw how serious he looked. “Wait…you said he taunted you. Are you…getting bullied again?”

I bit my bottom lip and shook my head. “I’m fine, Leon. Promise. It was a misunderstanding. We’re really good friends now.” 

My heart skipped a beat at the mention of Arthur. 

If only it would be nice to just be good friends. 

Leon furrowed his eyebrows. “Are you sure?” he asked. “Because despite everything, Merlin, I still don’t like people hurting you.”

I felt my chest warm at that. Leon had always been as protective as Will had been against bullies. It was nice he still cared, I suppose. “You’re a good friend, Leon,” I said. “I’m fine, really.”

Leon looked at me dubiously before he nodded. “Right. I’ll trust you. Anyway, I’ll probably see this Arthur person soon.”

“You joining the team?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” Leon said with a shrug. “I was given a spot on the team by the school.”

“No way,” I breathed out. “That’s going to set off a lot of rumours.”

“I tried declining it,” Leon said, looking a bit uncomfortable. “But they insisted it. Said it’ll be an honour or whatever.”

I sighed. “Well, you are a good player,” I said. “As long as you don’t challenge Arthur for his position, it’ll be fine I think.”

Leon snorted. “I have no interest on the title, thanks.”

I grinned. “Great.”

Leon smiled back, warmly.

 

***

 

Arthur looked annoyed the minute Leon was introduced to the team. He was standing next to me with his arms crossed, a frown on his handsome face. I resisted the urge to touch his arm to calm him down. When Coach finally left, Arthur had a deeper frown on his face.

“Why do you look like that?” I asked, following Arthur as he walked to the bench. 

“That Leon,” Arthur said. “Who does he think he is?”

“Uhm,” I started, surprised at the level of animosity in his voice. Arthur grabbed his water bottle and drank some water, wiping his mouth with the back of his palm before he looked at me with his blue eyes. “Arthur, he said he tried declining but they wouldn’t let him.”

Arthur scoffed, looking even more irritated. “I heard you know him,” Arthur said, his voice bitter.

I furrowed my eyebrows. “Yeah, we used to go to school together. He’s a nice friend.”

“Yeah?” Arthur asked, his eyes narrowed. 

“Yeah,” I drawled, taking a step back. “Look, don’t be mad at him, okay? He’s a nice person, really. Just give him a chance.”

There was the dark look in his eyes again from a week ago. My breath hitched and my heart thundered in my chest. “Whatever,” Arthur mumbled, his voice low. “Get lost. We’re going to start warming up soon.”

I frowned at the dismissal. “Hey, don’t take your anger out on me,” I retorted. Arthur flashed his blue eyes at me. 

“I’m not,” he said, gritting his teeth.

“Then, stop looking at me like that!” I exclaimed. Arthur sighed, taking in a deep breath before he ran his hand through his hair. 

“Fine, sorry,” he said, less angry now. “Let’s start warming up, okay?”

I eyed him for a second and nodded when he smiled at me. His smile looked strained at the edges but I didn’t call him out on it, not wanting to fight him, not when our friendship seemed strained ever since that day at the changing rooms. 

Leon joined me once warm up was done, looking a bit confused at Arthur’s blatant dislike of him. 

“So…that’s Arthur,” Leon said, rubbing the back of his neck. I looked at where Arthur was talking to Lancelot before I nodded. “He doesn’t like me, does he?”

“Well, he doesn’t like the fact you joined the team without a proper try-out,” I said, frowning. “But then again, neither did I, so.”

Leon laughed a bit. “You’ve gotten sassier.”

I blushed and grinned, shaking my head. “What can I say? The poshness changed me.”

“Oh, Merlin,” Leon said, shaking his head as well, an amused smile on his lips. 

“Merlin!” Arthur called then, catching my attention. He waved his hand at me, gesturing me to come over. I rolled my eyes and walked to him. 

“Yes?” I said. 

“You’re my partner today,” Arthur said. “We’re going to do the kicking practise again.”

I groaned. “Arthur, I can’t kick,” I said but Arthur simply waved that off. 

“You can,” Arthur said and then he flashed a grin. “I’m a great teacher.”

I scoffed. I glanced over my shoulder to see Leon already talking to someone else. Good, at least he wasn’t alienated. Arthur cleared his throat and I looked back at him. He raised his eyebrows at me. 

“What?” I asked. Arthur shook his head. 

“Nothing, come on,” Arthur said. “Everyone, get a partner. We’re going to practise kicking again.”

“Sounds good,” Percival said. 

“Hey, Merlin’s my partner!” Gwaine said, pointing at me. Arthur touched my shoulder and started to push me to the side. 

“Not anymore,” Arthur hollered. Gwaine pouted but when his eyes met mine, his eyes twinkled. I reddened and avoided his eyes, wishing I could flip him off. 

“We’re lucky Cenred isn’t here today,” Arthur mumbled as he pushed me to where we were going to practise our kicking. 

“Yeah,” I said, trying to shake away the warmth of his hand on my shoulder. When Arthur pulled away to go get the ball, I took in a shuddering breath. 

“Let’s do this,” Arthur said when he came back. 

“This is going to end terribly,” I muttered. Arthur eyed me, unimpressed. 

“Merlin, stop whining and let’s get this done,” Arthur said.

I sighed and like I predicted, I almost took Arthur’s head off with one kick. Arthur looked at me with wide eyes. 

“You could have killed me with that kick!” Arthur exclaimed. 

“I’m sorry!” I said, raising my hands. “I told you this is going to end terribly!”

Arthur huffed his breath, looking determined. “Let’s do this again.”

“Ah, no,” I grumbled. Arthur chuckled before he kicked me the ball. Thankfully, I managed to catch it. That was the only thing I was getting better at. 

“That’s good,” Arthur acknowledged. My heart skipped a beat at the praise. I felt like preening. 

“Thanks,” I said, smiling at him cheekily. “Now, get ready to get hurt.”

Arthur scoffed. “As if,” he said. “Hit me with your best shot.”

My best shot turned out to be a ball nearly hitting his face again, only missing it a few inches. Arthur pale but he refused to admit that he was wrong, earning a few chuckles from me. 

We did that for a while until Arthur spoke, “So, you know Leon, huh?”

I caught the ball again and looked at him. “Yeah,” I said, shrugging. 

“Well?” Arthur asked. 

“Pretty well, yeah,” I said. Arthur remained quiet for a bit. 

“He keeps looking at you, you know,” Arthur said, his eyes never leaving the ground as I kicked the ball, slow. I jolted at that and turned to look at Leon but he seemed to be busy kicking with his partner. I turned to look at Arthur, taken aback at how dark his blue eyes were, his jaw clenched tight. “And you keep looking at him.”

I blushed. 

“Ah,” I said, shrugging before I nodded at the ball in Arthur’s possession. “You going to kick that?”

Arthur kicked it. “Well?”

“We’re friends, Arthur,” I said. “What do you expect? We can’t actually ignore each other.”

Arthur frowned. “I guess,” he said. Then, he added, taking me off guard, “I heard he used to like you.”

I blinked a few times, letting that settle in my mind before I furrowed my eyebrows, feeling a bit uncomfortable under Arthur’s sharp gaze. “Yeah,” I said, licking my lips. “How did you…know?”

“Rumours,” Arthur said, his voice sharp and tight. “There’s been a lot of rumours since it was confirmed he’ll be joining us.”

I nodded, looking away from him. 

“Did you like him back?” Arthur asked, sounding careful. 

“Why do you care?” I finally asked, looking at him. I was beginning to get tired of his incessant questioning. Arthur looked taken aback at that. 

“I can’t ask all of a sudden?” he asked, offended. 

“No, I just don’t understand why you’re asking me so many questions about him,” I said. “He’s just a friend.”

Arthur rolled his eyes and scoffed. “Sure,” he said, his lips quirked up in a sharp smile that looked tad dangerous on him. It made me feel weak in my knees though. It didn’t scare me. Instead, it made my stomach coil in a way that left me breathless. I clenched my fingers into fists, unsure of what to do. Before I could retort, Arthur bellowed, “Let’s take a break and get back to real practise after this, boys!”

With that, he grabbed the ball, eyeing me one last time and walked away. I was left there, staring at where he stood, dumbfounded. 

What the fuck was that?

 

***

 

Arthur had been abysmal after the break. He kept yelling like he was back to being the blond Satan he had been before the first match. My muscles ached as I stormed into the changing room, irritated beyond belief at Arthur and his sudden cold attitude. 

With him scolding me at every chance and picking at Leon, I was fed up with him. 

Leon rubbed the back of his neck as he leaned against his locker, looking at me. He had followed me after we were dismissed. “Your Captain is seriously something.”

“Sorry about him,” I said, opening my locker to take my clothes. “He seems to be in a bad mood.”

“About me?” he asked.

I sighed. “I guess? I don’t know, sometimes it’s hard to read him.”

Leon hummed. “I feel guilty.”

“Why? It’s not your fault,” I said. 

“Still, maybe I should apologise to him or something,” he said. I closed my locker door to look at him. 

“Leon, he’s just having a bad day,” I said with a shrug. “It’s fine. He’s a nice person actually.”

Leon didn’t look convinced and I didn’t blame him, not when Arthur had acted like a total prat with him today. 

“Well, I’m going to shower and change,” I said, raising my clothes. “The others will be here soon. So, I suggest you take a shower quickly if you want.”

Leon nodded and gave me a grin. “Thanks.”

I smiled and nodded. I was about to walk away when my aching muscles decided now was the right time to give up on me. I yelped as I started falling down. Strong arms grabbed my chest and waist before I hit the ground though. He held me tight against his chest. I took in deep breaths, eyes wide and my heart thundering loudly against my chest. 

I remained still, clothes falling to the ground when I felt Leon’s hot breath fanning the back of my neck. It sent shivers down my spine. 

“A—Are you okay?” Leon asked, his voice barely a whisper. I shuddered and his grip on my body tightened. They wrapped around me properly and I didn’t know what to do. I touched his hands before I gripped his fingers tight. 

“What are you—you doing?” I asked, nervously. 

Leon didn’t say anything for a while before he pulled me closer until he tucked his forehead on my shoulder. I took in a sharp breath at that. 

“Sorry, sorry,” Leon said. “It’s just…even though it’s been four years—I still like you, Merlin.”

My eyes widened. I pushed him away a bit and turned around. He still kept his hands on my waist and I knew I should push them off. But a part of me thought: why not? It wasn’t like Arthur would do this to me. I looked at Leon in the eyes and sighed. And yet—I couldn’t help but feel like I was betraying the blond. 

“I’m sorry, Leon,” I said, giving him a weak smile. Leon sighed. 

“I know it was a long shot,” Leon said, shrugging as he loosened his hold on my waist. “You’re just so brilliant and kind. And now that you’ve grown sassier—it’s sexy.”

My cheeks flushedand I looked away from him. “I—”

“Yeah, I know,” Leon said with a bitter chuckle. “I’ll move on, promise. Now that I’ve seen you.”

I stopped breathing when Leon nudged my chin with his fingers to look at him. He leaned in close, looking at me in the eyes. “Can I just—kiss your forehead?”

“What? Why?” I asked.

“Would you believe me if I said I always wanted to peck your forehead?” Leon said, his cheeks pinking. I should be weirded out but. “I won’t touch you anymore after this. Strictly friends, I promise. Just…this once. One last time.”

“Okay,” I breathed out, unsure as to why I let him. I should have said no but there was something desperate in his eyes, like the same way I felt whenever I saw Arthur, that stopped me from denying him. I closed my eyes for a second before he kissed my forehead and pulled away completely. 

Just as I was about to say something, I heard a loud, “What is going on here?” 

I snapped open my eyes and turned to look at—

“Arthur,” I said. 

Arthur looked perplexed. His eyes landed on Leon before he dragged them to me. “I’m sorry,” Leon said. “I’m going to go.”

“Leon,” I said but Leon just smiled at me before he grabbed his clothes from his locker and walked away. 

Once he left, I groaned. I rubbed my face, crouching down to pick my clothes. My breath hitched, this time for different reasons, when I felt Arthur grabbing my arm and dragging me up to stand. 

“What was that?” he demanded. I blinked before I snatched my arm from his hand. 

“What did it look like?” I demanded back, the surge of annoyance I felt for Arthur rushed into me. Arthur gritted his teeth and took a step forward. Immediately, I took a step backwards.

“Alright, what the fuck is your problem?” Arthur said, pointing at me.

I gaped at him. “Me? _Me_?” I exclaimed. 

“Yes, you!” Arthur said, waving his hands around, his eyes wild. “Why the fuck are you avoiding touching me?”

I closed my mouth and glared. “We’re just friends, Arthur,” I hissed. Arthur narrowed his eyes. 

“And?” he said. “You let Gwaine hug you. You let fucking Leon kiss you. What’s so different about us then?”

_Everything_ , I screamed at him in my mind. _Everything’s different about us!_

“Fuck off,” I said. “You’ve been nothing but nasty today. What is wrong with you? You don’t get to take your anger out on us every time you feel like nothing is going your way.”

“Oh, I’m sorry,” Arthur yelled, startling me. “It’s my fault, yeah?”

“I—I don’t even know why you’re yelling at me or angry at me,” I said. 

“You don’t?” Arthur deadpanned. He took a step forward and I flinched. He pointed at me again. “That. Why are you cowering from me?” 

I looked away from him then. My heart beat loudly against my chest. “I’m tired, okay? I need to take a shower.”

I was about to once again crouch when Arthur took the opportunity to close the distance between us and grabbed my arms, dragging me close. I took in a sharp breath, his eyes boring into mine. I tried to move away from him but he held me tight, one of his hands slipped down to wrap around my hip, tight and unyielding. 

My heart was going crazy in my chest. Confusion bloomed in my mind as I searched his face but I found nothing but this weird emotion in his eyes. 

“What are you—”

“I _can’t_ ,” Arthur said, at last, his voice tight. There was something in his voice that sent shivers down my spine in a way that Leon didn’t manage to do. I almost closed my eyes and went limp in his arms at how warm he felt against me. “I can’t have you pulling away from me like this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” I said, at last, quiet as I stared at his chest. Arthur touched my face and tilted my face to look at him. There was something weird in the air and I knew right there and then that something between us was changing. I didn’t want to know what it was though. 

Not when Arthur wasn’t going to be mine. 

“You do know,” Arthur breathed out, his voice hushed. His eyes scanned my face, stealing my breath every time his eyes slid down to my lips. I closed my eyes and brought my hands to touch his chest, curling my fingers into fists there when he dragged me closer. I felt his breath against my cheek. I held my breath, not moving as I felt his lips caressing my cheek. 

And then, he pulled away, pushing me off. I stumbled back, my back hitting the lockers and when I opened my eyes, he was looking at me, confused. 

“Arthur,” I began but Arthur shook his head, rubbing his face harshly. 

“Never mind,” Arthur said. “This didn’t happen. This…didn’t happen.”

“Arthur, what—”

Before I could say anything, Arthur turned around and practically ran away, the door of the changing rooms closed shut behind him. My knees gave out and I slid down to the floor, taking in shaking breaths as I brought a shaky hand to my cheek. 

I closed my eyes as tears gathered at the edges. 

“Why the hell did you have to do that?” I whispered to myself. 

What the fuck, Arthur? 


	17. Football Matches & Revelations

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: The things I've said in the previous chapter applies here too. Feel free to choose sides. Hehe. I'll write a fun fact about the original story at the end but for now, this has been a fun chapter to write! Hoorah! Hip hip hooray! Maybe? Lol. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos. Let me know what you guys thought of this chapter and until the next~! -Krystal

 

 

It had been more than a week since Arthur even looked or talked to me. All of a sudden, it was like we were nothing but strangers. Every time I saw him, he was around with Sophia. It grated my nerves in ways that I didn’t realise it could. 

Even during practises, he kept his distance, always leaving first and even when we were in the same room, he would just give me some kind of excuse and flee whenever I tried talking to him. I was getting pissed off. Pissed off and hurt. 

“Merlin,” Will said as I grumbled about Arthur for the eighteenth time today. 

“What?” I groused. 

“You have to let it go, mate,” Will said with a sigh. “He’ll come around once he figures it out.”

“Figure _what_ out?” I asked, frowning. “All I know is that he went crazy when he saw me with Leon and then left the minute he kissed my cheek. And then proceeds to ignore me!”

Will twisted his lips into a sneer. “I know,” Will said. “Just,” he said before he shrugged. “No boy would kiss another boy’s cheek just because they’re friends, Merlin. We don’t kiss.”

I made a face at that. “No offence but I hope we’ll never kiss,” I said shuddering. Will paled a bit before he gagged, slapping my arm.

“That wasn’t what I meant!” Will said. “I’m just saying, maybe he’s—not being honest with himself.”

“I don’t care what he’s going through,” I said, almost pouting. “We’re friends, Will. Why couldn’t he just talk to me?”

Will remained quiet before he rubbed the back of my neck and then slung his arm across my shoulders. “Fear, my friend,” Will said, almost musing. “Maybe it’s fear.”

I let that stew in my mind for a while. Fear? Arthur was scared? 

“He’s not interested in boys,” I said at last, refusing to believe that Arthur could be scared— _scared_ of me. 

“He’s not,” Will conceded. “But so were you until this year.”

I couldn’t find a retort for that.

 

***

 

Leon sighed as he sat next to me, wiping off the sweat from his forehead. I gave him a bottle of water, sipping water from mine. 

“That was exhausting,” Leon said. “Why does it feel like it’s suddenly ten times harder here?”

I chuckled, a bit amused. I looked across the field and looked at Arthur, who was clapping a hand on Percival’s shoulder. My smile wavered and disappeared, looking away from him to my hands as my heart clenched tight. 

I missed Arthur even if I was upset with him. I missed him badly. There were times I almost sent him a message but I always stopped, recalling how cold he treated me. 

“Are you okay?” Leon asked, jolting me away from my thoughts. I gave him a weak smile. He looked worried, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“I’m just…,” I started and then stopped. There were footsteps thumping gently down the stairs and I didn’t have to look at the person to know who it was. Instead, I kept my eyes down, my heart wrenching in its chest when I heard her voice. I stood up then, clutching my water bottle tight. “I think I need to use the loo.”

I walked past Leon and up the stairs. I got out of the stadium, closing the door shut before leaning against it, sighing shakily. My eyes burned and for a moment, all I wanted to do was to walk up to Arthur and slap him across his face for treating me like this. 

What happened to being friends? 

The doors pushed open and I stepped away from it. Leon walked out, closing the door shut as he looked at me, a frown on his face. 

“Merlin?” he said. I wiped my eyes and shook my head. Leon sighed before he gently touched my elbow. “Come on, let’s take a walk. We have another ten minutes before break ends.”

“Okay,” I said, letting him pull me to walk beside him. After a while, he pulled his hand away. 

“So, what’s wrong?” he asked. I sighed.

“Liking someone sucks,” I grumbled. Leon hummed under his breath, nodding once.

“When it’s unrequited, yeah,” Leon said. I glanced at him, feeling guilty that I was bringing this up to him. “Hey, it’s fine,” Leon assured when he saw the look on my face. “It’s fine, Merlin.”

“No, no it’s not,” I told him. “It’s painful to see the person you like—”

“I know,” Leon said, softly. I dragged a hand down my face. “Do you like someone?”

“Yeah,” I said. “But it’s not going to happen.”

“It’s a boy then?” Leon asked, sounding tentative. 

I didn’t bother beating around the bush. “It’s Arthur.”

Leon didn’t look surprised. I gave up trying to figure out why he didn’t. It seemed like everyone knew about my feelings for him except for _him_. I should be horrified at the prospect but—at the same time, I was getting tired of hiding it. Maybe this was for the better.

“I see,” Leon said. “I can see why you would look upset.”

“The problem is,” I said. “He…he _kissed_ me.”

Leon furrowed his eyebrows. “What? Really?”

“Yeah,” I said. “And he ignored me ever since. Admittedly, the kiss was just on my cheek but still.”

“Of course you would feel upset, anyone would,” Leon defended. “You have every right to be upset. Have you tried reaching out to him?”

“He wouldn’t listen,” I said, voice small. “He ignores me or makes up some lame excuse and then leaves. I know he’s not interested in boys but…”

Leon huffed his breath, patting my shoulder. “Cowardice isn’t becoming of someone. And Arthur doesn’t seem the type to cower.”

“Well, he’s cowering now,” I snapped, angry. “It’s his fault for making me feel this way, the least he could do is stare right at me in the eyes and tell me why he kissed me and then ignored me.”

Leon remained silent but I didn’t want to hear any response either. 

“Do you think…,” I said, feeling uneasy. Leon looked at me before he smiled. 

“I think it’ll be fine,” Leon said as he stopped. “Knowing you, anyone would be a fool to not give it a shot with you.”

I flushed. For a minute there, I felt sad for Leon. He was a nice lad. If I really wanted to like a boy, I wished I could have fallen for Leon. I smiled. 

“Thanks, Leon,” I said. Leon smiled, even if his eyes shimmered a bit sadly.

 

***

 

Cenred obviously noticed that Arthur no longer talked to me. And that was why he pulled me aside just as we were about to head to the field for the second match of the season. He had a gleeful sneer on his face, in a way that made my stomach flip. 

“So, Arthur is no longer your bodyguard, yeah?” Cenred asked, almost sickeningly sweet. I snatched my arm from his grasp and rolled my eyes.

“It doesn’t mean I can’t kick you where the sun doesn’t shine, Cenred,” I snapped. I then raised my eyebrow knowingly. He scowled, his legs twitching, most probably remembering the time I kneed his crotch. I almost smirked in triumphed at that. He growled and pushed me backwards. 

“Watch it, Big Ears,” Cenred said. “Who knows? One day, you might find yourself falling down and no one will catch you until its too late.”

I shivered at the dark promise. He glared at me before he walked away. I stood there, wondering what he meant. My heart beat uneasily in my chest. Something didn’t feel right. 

I took in a deep breath and walked to the field, Arthur and Coach were already gathering us around for a debrief. Everyone was starting to fill up the stadium and the lights were switched on. The atmosphere suddenly became tense. 

Maybe it was because of Cenred’s threat or maybe because I was feeling emotionally drained from this past week, but something about today made me feel jittery. 

When the match started, my team was doing well. Nobody kicked the ball to me often, much to my relief but when they did, surprisingly, I managed to kick the ball to the next player with precision. I almost stopped running the first time I did a perfect kick to the next player. 

The uneasy feeling slowly uncoiled as we played well, our opponent team trying to score at least one goal and failing miserably. By the time the second time came on, I started to think that nothing was going to happen and this was just my paranoia sneaking up on me like it always did. 

That was when _everything_ went wrong. 

I ran around the field, looking for the ball and the players and then I saw Arthur. His blue eyes stared right into my mine and everything I felt all this while slammed into me, causing me to stumble a bit. When I managed to catch the ball, I couldn’t concentrate anymore. 

My heart hammered against my chest and my mind blanked. 

Before I knew it— someone swept my legs of the ground and I went crashing to the ground. The back of my head slammed the ground and I gave out a high-pitched groan in pain. My vision blurred from the tears as I lied on the ground. Suddenly, the noises around me quietened and everything around me spun. 

I saw Cenred looking at me with an evil grin on his face.

And my vision blackened.

 

***

 

The first thing I realised when I woke up was that it was quiet. My body was relaxed and my head was pillowed under something soft. The uncomfortableness only started to make itself known when I opened my eyes. The back of my head throbbed. I groaned. 

“Merlin?” a female voice said. A hand touched my forehead, brushing away strands of hair before the hand pulled away. “Merlin, love, are you awake?”

“Mum?” I croaked. 

“Yes, it’s me,” Mum said. I blinked open my eyes a few more times before I saw her face, leaning over me with a soft smile. Her eyebrows were creased in worry though. “Hi, honey.”

“Hi, Mum,” I said, giving her a weak smile. I looked away from her to my surrounding. I realised then that I was at the nurse’s office, lying on a bed. Morgana, Will and Gwen were here too, looking at me with worried smiles. “Hi,” I said to them.

“Hey, Merlin,” Will said, grinning at me. “Look at you taking a hit like a man.”

Will yelped when Morgana nudged him. “Thank God you’re fine, Merlin.”

“Yeah, we were worried about you,” Gwen said, chewing her lip as she furrowed her eyebrows. 

I gave them assuring smiles before I asked, “What happened?”

“You were pushed to the ground, love,” Mum said. Her voice sounded tight as her eyes flashed in anger. I sighed. “I will be having a talk with your principle and that boy’s parents tomorrow morning.”

“Mum,” I started but she shook her head. 

“I heard enough,” she said, sternly. “Your friends have confessed that that boy have been harassing you. They kept you safe until now. But this is the last time, Merlin, not when everyone saw him deliberately sweeping you off your feet.”

“Your Mum is right, Merlin,” Will said as his lips thinned. “Enough is enough, it’s about time he gets what he deserves.” Morgana and Gwen nodded, looking agreeable as well. 

“Hullo,” the nurse said then as she pushed open the curtains and looked at us with a cheerful smile. “You awake, dear?”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling at the nurse, almost embarrassed that I was here again. The nurse simply gave me another smile.

“Let me have a look at you, dear,” the nurse said and Mum held my hand as the nurse took a look at me. After awhile, she said, “You’re fine. I think all you’ll be having is a severe bump at the back of your head. Ice it twice a day and you’ll be fine. Thank God it rained this morning so the ground is soft enough to lessen the blow or else you’ll be having some concussions.”

I paled at that and Mum sighed. “Thank you so much, Nurse Ember. You’ve been a great help.”

“You’re welcome, Mrs Emrys,” Nurse Ember said. She then added, “I’ll be filing a report to your principal for tomorrow meeting.”

“Thank you,” Mum said. With a wave, Nurse Ember walked away. 

“The match!” I said, remembering that we were in the middle of a match. Mum smiled. 

“Don’t worry, the boys went out to play again and they promised to visit you after,” Mum said and the minute she said that, my friends walked into the infirmary, looking dirty and sweaty. Lancelot beamed as he saw me, rushing over to the bed, followed by Gwaine and Percival. 

“Mate, you’re fine!” Gwaine said, grinning as well as he wiped his forehead from the sweat.

I sat up slowly, wincing at the soreness at my head. “I’ll be right back,” Mum said. “I’m going to grab your bag from your locker.”

I nodded and she walked away from the bed, leaving me surrounded with my friends. “I’m fine, guys,” I said, earning relieved looks from the three of them. 

“Cenred was caught red-handed trying to hurt you,” Lancelot said, sounding gleeful. I blinked at that. Lancelot had never looked that happy before at someone getting in trouble. “He got what he was supposed to get a long time ago.”

“I hope they expel him,” Morgana said. 

“I think they’ll kick him off the team,” Gwaine said and Percival hummed. 

“I feel like he’ll get suspended instead,” Percival said. Gwaine shrugged. 

I itched to touch the back of my head when I felt another wave of soreness. “I think I’ll go get some ice,” Morgana said as she stood up from the chair she was sitting near my bed. She patted her knees. 

“I’ll follow too,” Will said. I narrowed my eyes at Will, who blushed a bit. “Later,” he leaned in close to me and whispered. I grinned and waved him away, watching with a fond sigh as he followed Morgana out of the room like a lost puppy. 

Then, I realised…I didn’t see Arthur here. 

I wondered briefly if he even cared. 

“You should have seen him, mate,” Lancelot said as he waved his hands around. I looked at him, confused.

“Who, Cenred?” I asked and Gwaine snorted.

“No, Arthur,” Gwaine said. “He _punched_ Cenred across his ugly face.”

“What the,” I said, sitting up straighter as my eyes widened in alarm. “Why would he do that?” I exclaimed.

Lancelot frowned. “Because Cenred deserved it, that’s why!” 

“Arthur could get in trouble too!” I said, panicking a bit. If Arthur got in trouble, then what would happen to him and his father? That was the last thing I wanted to happen to him. As upset and angry as I was at Arthur, I still cared for him. 

“Nah, Coach let him off with a warning,” Gwaine said as his eyes twinkled when he looked at me.

I sighed and leaned against my pillows. “Where is he then?” I asked, almost bitterly. If he seemed to care a lot about me, where was he?

Arthur walked in right then. His cheeks were flushed and he was sweating as well, his blond hair disarrayed. Gwaine looked at him before he dragged his eyes at me, smirking.

“Looks like Prince Charming found his way here after all,” he said. I blushed, glaring at Gwaine. Gwen looked at Gwaine confused meanwhile Lancelot furrowed his eyebrows. 

“Merlin,” Arthur finally said as he reached my bed, looking at me with those beautiful blue eyes. 

“Well, I’m going to leave now,” Gwaine said as he took a step back. Lancelot glanced at Gwaine and opened his mouth only to be stopped when Gwaine grabbed his elbow and sharply pulled him back with him. “In fact, we’re all going to leave. We need to grab a shower and change. We need to celebrate after all.”

“Oh yeah, the match!” I said. 

“We won,” Gwaine said, cutting me off before I could ask anything else. Percival looked as confused as Lancelot and Gwen but they didn’t argue when Gwaine practically manhandled them out of there. Arthur didn’t look like he noticed them leaving, instead, he was busy looking at me, his eyes dragging all over my face. 

I huffed, glancing at him before looking away. 

I froze when I felt a hand touching my hair. 

Anger coursed through my veins as I pulled away, glaring at him. “Don’t touch me,” I hissed.

Arthur took his hand away. He looked a bit taken aback at that before his face smoothed out into blankness. He curled his fingers into a fist. “How are you feeling?” he asked after a while of silence. 

I rolled my eyes. “Why would you care?”

“What?” Arthur asked, surprised. “Of course I care.”

“Yeah, whatever,” I said. I didn’t hear anything for a while until I felt my bed dip. I looked at him and found himself sitting at the edge of my bed, one leg folded on the sheets to look at me properly. “What are you even doing here?”

Arthur thinned his lips. “To see how you’re doing,” he answered.

“Well, as you can see, I’m fine,” I said as I waved a hand at him. “Go away.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice sounding a bit frustrated. 

“ _No_ ,” I snapped as I looked at him sharply. “No, you don’t get to use that tone at me.”

Arthur frowned. 

“Don’t frown at me either,” I said. “Don’t do _anything_ , alright? Just leave. I don’t want to see you anymore.”

Arthur blinked a few times before he chuckled, bitterly. “What the _fuck_?” he said, his voice harsh. “This is the thanks I get?”

I licked my lips, my heart beating loudly against my chest as I looked away from him, recalling how Gwaine said he punched Cenred for me. “Why should I thank you?” I asked, feigning nonchalance. 

“Wow,” Arthur said, sounding sarcastic. “I didn’t know how ungrateful you could be until now.”

I growled. “And why do you think that is, Arthur?” I finally asked, looking at him. “Why do you _think_ I’m acting this cold to you? Don’t tell me you don’t know because I think you _know_ why.”

Arthur remained silent, his eyes flashing. 

“I…I didn’t ask you to punch Cenred,” I said, at last. “I didn’t ask you to come and look for me like you fucking _care_ —”

“I _care_ , fuck you, Merlin,” Arthur said as he grabbed my wrist. His blue eyes flashed again in anger. “I _care_ for you _a lot_.”

“Then _why_ did you treat me like that?” I yelled, snatching my wrist from him as my eyes filled up with tears. I was also beginning to get a headache. “Why, huh? Why did you ignore me for the past week and a half? What did I do? Why did you threat me like I—we’re suddenly _strangers_?”

Arthur looked guilty now, his shoulders slumping. “Merlin,” he said, his voice soft. I shook my head, clutching my head when I felt dizzy. Arthur scooted closer, looking worried and I pushed his hands away when he tried to touch me again. “Merlin,” he said. 

“You don’t get to touch me,” I said, my eyes becoming wetter. “Not until you tell me why the fuck you treated me like that. One day you treat me like…and then the next I’m nothing to you.”

“I’m sorry,” Arthur said, his voice ragged. “I’m sorry, Merlin.”

I let that apology settle in my mind. I wiped my eyes, not wanting the tears to fall as I kept my eyes stubbornly glued at the entrance of the nurse’s office. 

“I…I just,” Arthur began and stopped. “I don’t know why I treated you like that.”

I scoffed. I didn’t talk to him for a while, not wanting to pay attention to him like he had done to me. But there was a burning question at the back of my mind that I needed to ask. I just—I _needed_ to know.

“Was it because of what you did at the changing rooms?” I asked, my voice barely a whisper. From the corner of my eyes, Arthur stiffened. When I looked at him, his face looked blanker than before, his lips thinned and his jaw tight. “Is that it?”

“That never happened,” Arthur said, his voice controlled. The pain from that admission hurt me more than what he did the past week. 

I felt tired all of a sudden. So confused of his behaviour. 

“Fuck you,” I said, breathing heavily as tears gathered in my eyes again, this time they spilled over and ran down my face. Arthur’s eyes widened as he searched my face. I gripped my fingers tight into fists. “Fuck you for doing this. That never _happened_?”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, sounding confused. 

“That _happened_ whether you like it or not!” I exclaimed, sitting up properly. I poked his chest, seething with hurt. “That happened, Arthur. Whether you like it or not. You pushed me against the lockers, you wrapped your arms around me, held me like a lover and you fucking kissed me.”

“I—”

“And don’t fucking tell me you did that to others before or I swear I’ll punch you, don’t think I won’t,” I warned and he shut up. Then, he grew angry, standing up, running his hands through his messy hair, messing it up even more. 

“That never happened,” he said. “I don’t want it to happen. So, it didn’t happen. _Nothing happened_.”

“ _Liar_ ,” I hissed. “It’s been happening for a while now, Arthur. Don’t be daft and say you didn’t notice.”

Arthur stilled. 

My heart beat loudly against my chest. 

“What?” Arthur said.

“You touch me…all the time,” I said, more tears running down my face as the anger left my body, replacing it with pain. “You hold me like you could…”

Arthur remained quiet and had grown slightly pale. I knew right then and there that if I told him what I was about to say next, our friendship would be too far strained to heal. 

“Like I could what?” Arthur croaked.

But I needed to tell him.

“Like you could _love_ me,” I said, voice cracking. “And…and…I…”

Arthur’s eyes widened. The air between us shifted. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice shook. I looked at him in the eyes. 

“It happened, Arthur,” I said as I took in a shuddering breath. “It _happened_. And for you, even if at the end of the day, didn’t mean anything, to me—to me it shook my whole world.”

“I,” Arthur said and then he stopped, his body shaking. 

“It _hurts_ ,” I said, choking down a sob. “It hurts, Arthur, why did you have to make it hurt?”

“I…I don’t…get it,” Arthur whispered. 

“I fancy you,” I said. “I _like_ you. I could be in _love_ with you if things continued. It hurts me that you pulled away. It hurts me every time I see you with Sophia. Everything you do makes my heart beat loudly in my chest and every time you look at me like I mean the world to you, it takes my breath away. But I can’t—I _can’t_ do this if you keep hurting me.”

“I…I didn't mean to,” Arthur said, looking pained. 

“Yeah,” I said, my heart cracking in my chest. “I need you to leave, Arthur. I know you can’t like me back, not like that. So, I…I need you to leave.”

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while but when he did, it shattered everything inside me.

“I’m sorry, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I’m sorry for making you feel things for me that I can’t return. I’m _sorry_.”

“I know,” I whispered and closed my eyes, bringing my knees up my chest as I hugged myself. Arthur left then, his footsteps echoed out of the nurse’s office. 

Mum walked in after a few minutes and she looked worried when I started sobbing. “Merlin?” she said, touching my hair and when I pulled her close to wrap my arms around her waist and hug her, she comforted me. “Merlin, love, what’s wrong? Why are you crying?”

I shook my head and my Mum stopped asking. All the while, I wished I didn’t feel anything. 

“There, there, love,” Mum said. “Everything, whatever it is, will be fine.”

I only wished that was true. 

 

***

 

Mum tried to pry why I was crying and at the end, I only gave her a vague answer of, “Arthur and I had a fight. It’s…it’s bad.”

Mum didn’t ask anything else afterwards, only hugging me again when I started cry once more. 

Will did the same thing when I told him the next day what happened. 

He hugged me tight and said, “Do you want me to beat him up for you?”

I laughed, pushing him away as he sat next to me on my bed. “No,” I said. “But I think it’s for the best. Even if it hurts, I don’t feel as bad anymore.”

“Good,” Will said as he messed up my hair. “It’s best if he stayed away.”

My heart thumped sadly at that. “I’ll miss him,” I said and Will sighed. 

“I know, mate,” Will said, patting my shoulder. “I know.”

After a few minutes of silence, Will said, “Maybe you can give Leon a try.”

I shook my head. “No,” I said. “I don’t want to lead him on. Even if I didn’t like Arthur, I don’t think I would have liked Leon.”

Will hummed. “Then, why not try dating Freya?”

I stopped picking at the strands of thread poking out of my bedsheets. I frowned. “I don’t really like her as anything more than a friend,” I said. 

Will frowned. “Ah, mate,” he said. “You should tell her that then.”

I blinked at that. Will chuckled at the look on my face. 

“You’re leading her on,” Will explained.

“ _Really_?” I said, startled. 

“Yeah, she’s head over heels for you, mate,” he said. “Morgana told me herself.”

I rubbed my face. “I guess I _have_ sent some mixed signals the last time we met,” I said, nodding. “I’ll straighten things up soon.” Will nodded. I perked up when I remembered something. “Hold on, what about you and Morgana? What’s happening with you two?”

Will froze and then blushed. “No— _Nothing_!”

“Liar!” I said, slapping his shoulder. “Come on, do you like her or something?”

Will looked away, reddening even more. “I _might_ ,” he conceded. I laughed, earning a glare. 

“You should tell her,” I said. “I told Arthur.”

“She’ll reject me!” Will said. “And then our friendship will die.”

I gave him a sympathetic look. Will sighed and looped an arm around my neck and dragged me close to rub his knuckles on my head. I squawked and wriggled away from him, pouting as I rubbed my head. “We’re doomed for Pendragons,” Will said. 

I laughed a bit. “Yeah, yeah we are.”

 

***

 

I avoided Arthur like he was a plague. Every time I caught his blond hair, I made sure I turned the other direction and walk away. When I was stuck being in the same class as he was, I would keep my eyes glued straight ahead. Sometimes, I would feel like he was staring at me but I held back from checking to see if my suspicions were true.

My heart still ached every time I looked at him. Especially when we were practising. Everything he did always made me breathless and it pained me that I couldn’t be anything more than a friend to him. Not even that now, I assumed. 

He didn’t make any move to talk to me either, keeping his distance as well. Morgana even started to notice the difference. 

“What’s going on between you and Arthur?” she asked one day in class. 

“Nothing,” I said. She looked at me with her eyebrows raised. I sighed. “We…we got into a fight and I just don’t want to talk about it, alright?”

She backed down but she didn’t look satisfied. 

I simply gave her a pleading look, asking her to let it go to which she did at the end, reluctantly. 

Before I knew it, two weeks have gone by and another match was over with us winning. Leon grinned as he jogged to where I was at the field, looping an arm around my shoulders. “This team is talented,” he said. I chuckled, letting the arm rest over my shoulders. 

“They are,” I said as we began to walk away from the field. Coach had congratulated us for another job well done before he dismissed us. 

“You are too, you know,” Leon said as he pulled his arm away, running a hand through his wet hair. I cracked a grin at that. 

“You think so?” I asked, snickering when he waggled his eyebrows at me. “Why am I friends with you again?” 

“Because I’m devilishly handsome?” Leon said. I snorted a laugh. 

“Leon,” I said. Leon rolled his eyes before he nudged my shoulder. 

“There you go,” Leon said, his voice soft. I blinked at him. 

“What?” I said.

“You’ve been sad the past two weeks,” Leon said. “I wanted to see you smile.”

I blushed as I looked at him. I sighed and we continued to climb up the stairs to get to the changing rooms. “Things have been complicated,” I told him. I waved at Mum who simply made a gesture at me that she was leaving. I nodded at her smiling as she smiled back and walked away. 

“I’ll catch up with you guys later,” I told Will and Morgana when they spotted us. Will glanced at Leon before he looked at me, his eyebrows quirked upwards before he nodded. 

“We’re going to celebrate, so Leon come along if you want,” Morgana said. Leon grinned. 

“Sure,” Leon said, earning a smile from Morgana. With that, they left as well. 

“So, complicated?” Leon asked once we started to walk down the empty hallway. I shrugged. Leon hummed. “You told Arthur, didn’t you?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It didn’t work out.”

“I’m sorry,” Leon said, sounding serious. “I guess that explains the tension between you two lately.”

I winced at that. I looked at him. “Is it that obvious?”

“Yeah,” Leon said as he stopped walking. He looked at me. “He’s a fool, honestly.”

I quirked my lips upwards. “Can’t blame him for being straight.”

Leon looked at me contemplatively before he shook his head. “You can blame him for leading you on and giving you mixed signals.”

I patted his shoulder. “Leon, it’s fine,” I said. My smile faltered when he looked at me seriously. He grabbed my wrist and cradled it gently in his palm. 

“It isn’t though,” he said, voice barely a whisper. “I don’t like seeing you sad.”

“Leon,” I said. “It can’t be helped.”

“I know,” Leon said as he took a step towards me. I watched him for a while, my heart wilting a bit when I saw the pained look in his eyes. “I don’t want you to feel that way though.”

My breath hitched in my throat when he swiped his thumb in circles at the back of my hand. 

“I’m sorry for making you go through this,” I whispered, my throat feeling scratchy. Leon gave me a sad smile. He raised his other hand, almost like he wanted to touch my face but then he stopped mid-air. At the end, he only grazed his fingertips down my cheek. He swiped some of my hair away from my face too. 

“It’s fine,” Leon said softly as he took away his hand. “I just wish I could make you happy.”

“I,” I started. And then the moment shattered when I felt a hand grabbing the wrist cradled in Leon’s hand. I was pulled away from him to the side. I stumbled before I placed a hand on the familiar strong chest to stop myself from face palming against it. My mind went blank momentarily, trying to register what happened before I lifted my head to see Arthur, glaring at Leon. “Arthur?”

“ _Stay_ _away_ from him,” Arthur hissed. Leon stood straighter, rigid, a frown on his face. I took a step back but Arthur wouldn’t let me go. 

“Look, Pendragon,” Leon said. “I’m not looking for trouble.”

“Great, so piss off then,” Arthur said. 

“Arthur,” I said as I tried to tug my wrist away. Arthur simply tightened his grip on my wrist. I winced from the slight pain. 

“He doesn’t want to talk to you, Pendragon,” Leon said as he took a step towards him. I felt fear rushing through my veins when I saw the look in both of their eyes. I pressed a hand on Arthur’s chest. 

“Arthur, _stop_ ,” I said. His blue eyes slowly dragged from Leon to me. I held back a gasp when I saw how dark his eyes were. It made him look feral, almost scary. “ _Stop_ ,” I repeated. I looked at Leon and gave him an assuring smile. “I’ll be fine, Leon.”

Leon hesitated as he looked at me and then at Arthur. “Are you sure?”

“I won’t _hurt_ him,” Arthur said, sounding offended and angrier. 

“You already _did_ ,” Leon snapped. Arthur went rigid at that. I shook my head. 

“Leon, _please_ ,” I said. “Go. I’ll talk to you later, okay?”

Leon frowned deeper. When he looked at me, I tried conveying the message that I would be fine. This was Arthur. Despite everything, I still trusted him. Leon took a step back at last. “Fine,” Leon said. 

“Thank you,” I said. 

“Watch yourself, Pendragon,” Leon said before he turned around and stormed away. I decided to call him later once this was settled to make sure he was fine. Arthur tugged my wrist then and we were walking. I tried to match his strides, trying to keep myself from falling to the ground. At last, he pushed me into an empty classroom and slammed the door closed, locking it. I stumbled a few feet back until my back hit a desk. 

Arthur slammed a hand against the door before he dropped his forehead on it, breathing harshly. 

That display didn’t stop me from getting angry though. How dare he do this to me after all this time?

“ _What_ the fuck was that, Arthur?” I asked. I grabbed the desk behind me, my knuckles turning white as I waited for him to answer. 

Arthur turned around, his eyes were still as sharp as they had been just now. Instead of fear, I felt something else pooling at the bottom of my stomach. I almost wondered if I was fucked up in the head to be feeling this way even when he looked like he could murder someone. 

“Why don’t _you_ fucking tell me what you were about to do with that _prick_?” Arthur asked, walking up to me. I didn’t move to step back, instead, I let him come closer to me until he stood in front of me, a few feet away. 

“And why should I?” I snapped. 

Arthur laughed, humourlessly. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

“No,” I said, eyes widening in mock surprise. “Why would you even think that?”

“Fuck you,” Arthur said as he took another step towards me. Before I knew it, I was pushed against the desk and he bracketed me with his hands at either side of my body. My eyes widened, this time in surprise as my heart stuttered in my chest. “Was it a lie then?”

“What?” I asked, feeling breathless as his eyes bored into mine. 

“About fancying me,” Arthur seethed, his teeth gritting. “About liking me. About falling in love with me. Was it all a lie then? To mess with my head?”

I snapped out of my daze and growled. “Do you think I would lie something like that? What type of a fucked up person would do that?” 

“Then _why_ the hell are you and Leon so close lately?” Arthur demanded. “If I hadn’t walked in you two, would you have let him kiss you?”

I froze for a second before I touched his shoulders and tried to push him away. He pushed back just as hard, if not harder. “That’s _none_ of your business!” I said. “You have no right to ask me about things like that. You want to know why? Because you’re _not_ my boyfriend! You’re not even my _friend_ anymore.”

Arthur stilled at that. His face then contorted into pure fury before he grabbed my wrists. 

“Let me go,” I hissed, trying to pull away from him. “You ignored me for two weeks, not even trying to speak to me and now you want to? All because your ego can’t handle the fact I can and will move on from you?”

“What? You would move on with Leon?” he asked. 

“At least I know he’ll still be there for me even if things go wrong, _unlike you_ ,” I said, knowing that it wasn’t true. Arthur had always been there for me, even when things had gone wrong. But out of spite, I needed to hurt him. I needed him to feel what he made me feel. 

What I didn’t expect was for him to forcefully push me against the desk until I was sitting on it. He buried one hand in my hair and the other he gripped my hip before he pulled me forward until our bodies flushed. And then he _kissed_ me. 

Right on my lips. 

I froze. 

My mind blanked as his soft lips met mine. My muscles locked up before I started to get swept off with his lips coaxing me to kiss him back. I let my hands touch his shoulder and kissed him back, my eyes sliding close. It was awkward for me because he was my first proper kiss. I didn’t know what to do, how to move but the kiss still made breathing a hard thing to do. 

We kissed for a while before he pulled away, breathing harshly against my cheek. I opened my eyes slowly, my mind dazed. The hand on my hip tightened a fraction and then I felt Arthur’s lips grazing my cheek before they dragged to my lips again. I looked at his blue eyes, they were filled with something that made my heart skip a beat. 

The dark look disappeared from his eyes. All that was left was this soft warm look on his face that made my eyes water. 

“What are you doing?” I asked, whispering. I knew that somewhere at the back of my mind I should be panicking but before that could even become a reality, Arthur kissed me again. He angled my head properly and I was gone all over again. I closed my eyes and let him kiss me even if I knew it was a bad idea. 

His hand on my hip moved down my leg until he gripped my thigh, his fingers digging into my skin and I gasped at the feeling. Arthur’s tongue pushed inside my mouth at that and I made a noise at the back of my throat, feeling his tongue trying to coax mine to do the same. I found myself touching his hair, dragging my fingers through the wet strands. 

When we broke apart, we were both breathing heavily, staring at each other, Arthur’s hand still heavy on my thigh which was already halfway curled around his waist. I was flushed, my body heating up. The arousal that pooled at the bottom of my stomach made me shiver a bit, especially when Arthur’s breath fanned against my upper lip. 

“Kissing you,” Arthur said. 

I remained quiet for a while before I shook my head, trying to dislodge myself from the haze Arthur put me in. His hand left my hair and cradled my jaw until I was forced to look at him in his eyes. 

“You…Why are you doing this?” I asked, shaking as I clutched his hair. 

He searched my face before he said, “I’m not sure yet,” he said. I scoffed, trying to push him away, my eyes wetting again. “Merlin,” he said. “Listen to me.”

“Why should I?” I said, my bottom lip wobbly. “Why are you doing this to me? You kiss me like that and then you tell me you’re not sure why. I…Don’t hurt me like this. _Please_.”

Arthur remained quiet before he sighed, trembling. “I…I’m not sure what this is yet, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I don’t know what I feel for you. All that I know is that these past two weeks have been… _horrible_. Not being able to see you, touch you, hold you or talk to you, I…I don’t _like_ it. I’m _confused_ , Merlin. I don’t know why I feel lost when I don’t see you. I don’t know why I get so mad whenever Leon so much as looks at you. I don’t know _why_. All I know is that I _can’t_ lose you. _I can’t let you go_.”

I searched his face and found nothing but sincerity in his eyes. That and confusion, an overwhelming amountof them. I gently touched his face and he sighed, leaning into it. “Do you like me?” I asked.

“I…I don’t know,” he said, sounding broken. He wrapped his arms around my body and pulled me until he buried his face in my shoulder. “I don’t know. You confuse me so much. I don’t know.”

“You cheated, you know,” I said. “You cheated on your girlfriend.”

“I know,” he said. 

“What do you want to do?” I asked. 

“Give me a chance,” Arthur said, pulling away to look at me. “I…Let me figure out what it is that I’m feeling for you— _with_ you.”

I thinned my lips when I realised what he was asking of me. “You want to experiment with me.”

“Merlin,” he began and I shook my head.

“I won’t be anyone’s _experiment_ ,” I snapped. Arthur looked at me helplessly. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” Arthur said. “You’re the only one who made me question myself. Please, let me…let me try this with you.”

“And if you decide at the end you can’t like me the way I like you?” I asked. 

Arthur didn’t say anything to that. 

“Why do you do this to me?” I whispered. 

“All I know is that I…I don’t like you platonically,” Arthur said. “Can’t you just hold onto that until I figure out what this between us is?”

“What about Sophia?” I asked. 

Arthur licked his lips, looking a bit nervous. “I’ll break up with her.”

My eyes widened at that. “Really?” I asked. 

“Yeah,” he said. “I…I won’t cheat. I respect her more than that. I respect _you_ more than that.”

I looked away from him, knowing that I shouldn’t do this. To become an experiment. To let a straight boy try things out to see if they could like another boy. 

But Arthur looked sincere. He looked like he really wanted this. And my heart was selfish enough to take what it could get, even if it would get hurt if things ended badly. 

“Okay,” I said, at last. Arthur looked relieved at that. “Okay. But—I can’t be…I need to know if you can’t like me the way I like you the _minute_ you figure it out. I like you _a lot_ , Arthur. I…I don’t want to get hurt if you decided to prolong this and decide one day you don’t want me that way after all.”

“I’ll figure it out,” Arthur promised. “I promise. I’ll treat you well. _We’ll_ figure this out.”

Arthur hugged me tight, burying his face against the crook of my neck when I nodded. I held him just as tight, feeling my heart hammering against my chest. 

“Don’t make me regret this,” I whispered against his shoulder. 

His only response was to squeeze me tighter. 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The 'Fun Fact' of this story is that in the original story in ffnet, in this chapter, Arthur didn't break up with Sophia. So, it's like he's cheating on her while he tries to figure out what he feels for Merlin. Obviously, as you can see, I changed that here because I'm no longer an idiotic 15-year-old who thought that was a nice prop to use carelessly. Heh. Let me know as well if this rewrite for this chapter is better than the original idea. //slap -Krystal


	18. The Trial

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Phew. Phew. Phew. Well. We're getting there. Kindof. I don't like the length of the chapter because it's not really the 7K words I was trying to hit, but oh wells. Quality over quantity, yeah? Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos! I hope this doesn't feel rushed? Because there's still a lot to go before the end. So, I hope it isn't rushed. Let me know what you guys thought and until the next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

Will opened his mouth and then closed it, looking confused. “So…he… _doesn’t_ like you but you two are—I…don’t get it.”

I sighed, looking at the ceiling while laying on my bed. Will sat against the headboard, hugging my pillow. “He’s confused,” I said. “He wants to try dating me—or something. He said there’s something between us and he wants to figure out what that is together.”

“You’ve agreed to be his experiment then,” Will deadpanned. I shrugged. 

“Wouldn’t it be like we’re experimenting together?” I asked. “I mean, I’ve never been with a boy too.”

“At least you aren’t confused about who you like, are you?” Will groused. He squeezed my pillow. “I don’t like this, Merlin.”

I bit my bottom lip. “I want to try, Will,” I said. Will sighed before he scooted closer to me. He patted my head and gave me a smile. 

“You know where to find me if you need to talk to someone,” Will said. I grinned at him, my heart warming at the support in his eyes. “And if he breaks your heart, you’ll know who’ll be there to break his legs.”

I laughed, nodding. “Thanks, Will,” I said. 

“No problem, mate,” Will said.

 

***

 

Morgana tugged me to the side the minute I closed my locker door, ready to walk to class. I blinked at her, confused. She looked frantic, her eyes wide. 

“Why…do you look like that?” I asked, feeling nervous.

“You wouldn’t believe this!” she exclaimed as she let me go, choosing to wave her hands around instead. I tilted my head to the side, wondering what got her so excited. 

“What is it?” I asked. 

“He _broke up_ with her,” Morgana said, leaning in close to whisper. 

“Who broke up with who?” I asked, confused. She rolled her eyes before she slapped my arm. I winced and rubbed it, eyebrows raising. “Morgana!”

“ _Arthur_ , you dolt,” Morgana said. “ _Arthur_ broke up with _Sophia_.”

I froze. 

I let that settle in my mind before I took a step towards her, eyes wide. “Wait, what? Seriously?” I asked. 

“Yeah!” Morgana said. “Out of nowhere at that!”

“When?” I demanded, my heart racing against my chest. 

“Apparently last night,” Morgana said. “He called her to meet him and he broke up with her.”

“Oh…wow,” I said, biting my inner cheek.

“Yeah,” Morgana said, breathing out in awe. “I didn’t think he would ever break up with that bitch. They seemed to be smitten with each other.”

I held back a flinch at that. “Well…,” I said before I stopped myself from saying anything and shrugged. 

“There’s a lot of rumours flying around,” Morgana said with a hum. “One of them is that someone else seduced him into breaking up with Sophia.”

I held back from choking on my own spit, feeling awkward in my own skin. “O—oh,” I said. 

There were rumours already?

“Wait, does the whole school know they broke up?” I asked, feeling nervousness trickling into my veins. Morgana nodded. 

“Sophia went rambling in Twitter yesterday night after Arthur broke up with her,” Morgana said. “Her friends are now circling her like protective Mama bears.”

I felt a deep pang of sympathy for her. 

“I’m just glad he got rid of her,” Morgana said with a scoff. “She’s nothing but clingy and obsessive.”

I bit my bottom lip and nodded. “Well, uh, thanks…for telling me?” I said. 

“I’m just telling you so that you don’t have to worry about Sophia attacking you for Arthur’s attention anymore,” Morgana said with a smile. “That and I like telling in person to anyone who’ll listen that Arthur dumped her arse.”

“That’s…kind of mean,” I said. Morgana rolled her eyes. 

“Have you forgotten she dumped water on your head?” she asked, eyes narrowing. I opened my mouth and then closed it before nodding.

“Alright,” I said, raising my hands. “I have to get to class now, so I’ll see you during lunch time then.”

Morgana nodded and flashed me a happy grin before she walked away. I stood there for a while, sighing. So, Arthur had meant it. I wondered how he was feeling. It must’ve been hard to break up with someone he had been with for almost two years. 

I walked into Biology class and there he was, Arthur, sitting at my stool and talking to Gwaine. Arthur was smiling at him. I didn’t move any closer, instead, I continued to watch him, trying to take in how he looked. He didn’t look much different from two days ago. He still looked the same. 

I didn’t know what I was looking for but whatever it was, I found it when Arthur snapped his eyes to look at me and he lit up, grinning widely. Gwaine looked over his shoulders and smirked when I turned red. 

“Hey,” I said as I stood in front of them, placing my books on the desk. 

“Hullo, Merlin,” Gwaine said, drawling. I gave Gwaine a mock glare. “Heard Arthur boy broke up with that b— _Sophia_.”

“Right,” I said, looking at Arthur, who seemed to have pinked a bit, rubbing the back of his neck. “How are you feeling?”

Arthur looked at me back, his blue eyes searching my face before he gave me a gentle smile. “I’m fine,” he said. There was more he wasn’t saying, I could see it in his eyes but I didn’t pry. He seemed relieved when i didn’t ask anything else as his shoulders slumped. 

“I was just grilling Arthur as to why he broke up with her,” Gwaine said when I looked at him. “He won’t spill.”

“I just…can’t love her,” Arthur said, his words pronounced slowly. He didn’t look at me but I knew what he meant. I tried to keep myself from stilling. “So, I let her go.”

Gwaine sighed and slapped Arthur’s shoulder. “You’re a fine lad, mate.”

“Am I?” Arthur asked, grinning. 

“You are,” I said. Arthur looked at me again before his grin warmed. 

Gwaine coughed and cleared his throat. “I’ll leave you two lovebirds alone.”

Arthur’s eyes widened and so did mine as we both turned to look at Gwaine, who only blinked at us, amused. “It’s fine,” Gwaine said, nodding. “I’ll keep my mouth shut. See ya later, mate.”

Arthur opened his mouth, hands reaching to tug Gwaine’s jacket but the boy already walked away. Arthur dropped his hands to his sides and I saw a flush creeping up his neck. I blushed too, fidgeting where I stood. 

“Uhm,” I said. “I need to sit.”

“Right,” Arthur said and he got up. When he did though, our bodies almost bumped into each other. I took a sharp breath when I felt him standing close to me. Arthur seemed to have frozen too. I didn’t dare to look at his face. I took a subtle step back when I realised we weren’t moving away and that managed to get Arthur moving to sit on his stool. I sat on mine and we both didn’t talk for a while. 

This felt awkward.

I glanced at him once in a while and sometimes, I would catch him looking at me before we both looked away. It was like we were shy all of a sudden. It almost made me laugh. 

Class ended and before I could gather my things, Arthur had poked my shoulder with his pen. “Hm?” I said, looking at him, blushing red when he smiled at me, softly. “What?”

“Nothing, just,” Arthur said and then he stopped. I furrowed my eyebrows, looking at him before I realised he was waiting for everyone to leave the lab. I quietened down and when the last person left, the door closing behind them, Arthur was out of his seat and grabbing my wrist, pulling me up to stand. 

“O—Oi,” I said, startled but before I could say anything else, Arthur looped an arm around my waist and dragged me close before he kissed me. With my free hand, I touched his face and relaxed under his hold, kissing him back. He pulled away after a minute, resting his forehead against mine. He loosened his grip on my wrist until he was rubbing it with tender circular motions. 

My body felt weak and heated, my cheeks flushed as I opened my eyes to look at him. I smiled at him when he smiled back, our noses touching before he pulled away completely, releasing me. He shoved his hands in his trousers pants as he rocked on his heels. 

“Well,” I said, clearing my throat. “I didn’t see that coming.”

Arthur chuckled before he sat on his stool. “Sorry, I missed you.”

I blushed and sat down on my stool, looking at the floor. “Me too,” I admitted, quietly. “We still have classes to attend, you know.”

“Not for another ten minutes,” Arthur replied. 

I chewed my bottom lip and looked at him. “How are you feeling, really?” 

Arthur blinked at me before he sighed. “What do you want to know?”

“You broke up with Sophia,” I said and he nodded, looking a bit uncomfortable now. “How are you feeling?”

Arthur remained quiet for a while before he shrugged. “If I’m being honest,” he said. “I feel indifferent.”

I was taken aback at the answer. “What do you mean?”

“I should be sad, at the very least,” he said, tilting his head back to look at the ceiling as if he didn’t want to meet my eyes. “But I don’t feel anything when I let her go.” He furrowed his eyes before he looked at me. His blue eyes were sharper than before. “And I’m wondering if it’s because you.”

I tilted my head to the side before I looked away. “You’re taking this…remarkably well.”

Arthur chuckled and for the first time since all of this started, he sounded… _scared_. 

“I’m very good at hiding,” he said. I shook my head before I stood up and made my way to stand in front of him. I glanced over my shoulders to make sure no one was ready to come into the lab. With that, I looked back at Arthur and leaned down to kiss his head, my face pinking. 

Arthur was stunned at that. 

“I know it’s scary,” I told him. “I’m scared too. But I don’t want you to force yourself into anything—”

“It’s going to be weird,” Arthur said, cutting me off, as he looped his fingers around my belt loops. “I’ve been straight all my life and suddenly you came around and changed everything. I’ll admit, there’ll be things I—I’ll be reluctant to do.”

“Like being seen in public with me?” I asked. Arthur seemed guilty. 

“Not yet, at least,” he said, his blue eyes pleading. “Not…not yet.”

I didn’t argue with him on that because as much as I liked him…I wasn’t ready for anyone else to know either. So, I nodded. I needed to figure out if Arthur wanted to stay before I did anything else. Arthur looked relieved and pulled me close until I stood between his legs. 

“But it’s so easy to do things like this with you too,” Arthur confessed, looking at his fingers. “It’s so easy to kiss you and touch you.”

Flustered, I looked at his shoulders. “What do you want us to be?” I asked, my heart thumping against my chest.

Arthur hummed under his breath. “I don’t know,” he said. “I’m…I’m still letting it all sink in my head that there’s a chance I like you. I fancy you.”

“Okay,” I said. That was all I could say to him. He looked at me before he gave me a smile. 

“Soon, okay?” he assured. “I’ll figure it out soon.”

“I wish I could say take your time,” I told him as I touched his shoulders. “I don’t want to rush you but…make up your mind quick, please. Am I being selfish asking you to decide fast so I don’t get hurt too much?”

Arthur frowned, his eyes flashed before he tightened his grip on my belt loops. “It’s not selfish,” he said. “I guess I would say the same thing too if I was in your shoes. What do you label yourself as?”

“Will said I might be bisexual,” Merlin said. “I like girls too.”

Arthur licked his lips. “Right, that Freya girl.”

I rolled my eyes. “I don’t like her.”

Arthur raised his eyebrows. “You blush every time she was around.”

I blushed at that. Arthur looked at me pointedly and I frowned. “Well, I don’t like her that way anymore. I realised she’s better off as a friend.”

Arthur chuckled. “Let’s…go out today after practise.”

I blinked at that. “What?” I asked.

“Go out with me,” Arthur said, his eyes were serious. I stiffened for a second, wondering if he was asking me on a date. He seemed to understand my hesitation before he nodded. “On a date,” he clarified. I could still see some fear coiling in his eyes but he was trying. 

He was trying and the least I could do was try with him. I smiled, my heart stuttering in my chest. 

“Alright,” I said as I gripped his shoulders tight. Arthur beamed at me, pulling his hands off my belt loops. 

“Great,” he said as he gently pushed me away. “I think we should leave now before the bell rings.”

“Right,” I said as I moved to grab my books. I was halted again from leaving when he touched my face, tugging my chin to look at him. He kissed my forehead and let me go, smiling before he walked past me and out of the lab, leaving me standing stunned before I felt my knees buckling. 

I touched my forehead, his lips still felt hot on my skin. “Prat,” I murmured, smiling.

 

***

 

I met Leon when we bumped against each other accidentally at the hallway. He grabbed my arms to steady me and I flashed him a grateful smile, readjusting my grip on my books. He huffed out an amused breath as he took a step back. 

“Thanks, Leon,” I said. Leon nodded. 

“You should watch where you’re walking,” Leon said, shaking his head. “It’ll be bad if you fell.”

“Well, you saved me,” I teased, poking his shoulder. Leon grinned, rubbing the spot I poked. “Are you heading off to class?”

“Yeah,” Leon said. He pointed to the right of where the hallway turned. “My class is that way.”

I beamed up at him. “Mine too!” I said. Leon gave me a one-shoulder shrug. 

“Let’s walk together?” he asked. I nodded and we began walking together in silence for a minute. “So, I heard Arthur broke up with that—S—bird.”

“Sophia,” I said. Leon nodded. “Yeah, he did.”

Leon hummed. “It wouldn’t be because of what happened on Saturday, would it?”

I bit my bottom lip, feeling a bit guilty when Leon nodded, as if confirming his doubts when I didn’t answer him. “Leon,” I said. “I’m sorry.”

Leon chuckled before he shook his head, touching my shoulder. “I’m fine, Merlin, I promise,” he said. “I’ll get over it. Besides, as long as you’re happy, I’m happy. You’re happy, right?”

I gave him a tentative smile at that. “I am,” I told him. 

“Honestly,” Leon said as he glanced at me. “I always knew that Pendragon had guts. He doesn’t seem like a coward to me.”

I hummed under my breath. “He’s scared though,” I said. 

“I can understand,” Leon said. “I was scared too for the first few months when I found out I liked lads too.”

“How did you get over it?” I asked. 

“I liked you,” Leon said. 

I looked at him before I looked away. “If it’s any consolation, I thought you were nice.”

“Nice,” Leon said, almost as if he was musing. “What a guy wants to hear from his crush of four years.”

I blushed, feeling like an idiot. Leon noticed the look on my face and stopped walking, laughing. “Merlin, relax, I was teasing.”

“How?” I asked him. “How could you tease so easily?”

Leon’s smile widened before he leaned in to whisper, “Because if I don’t tease and make light of it, it’ll only hurt me more.”

I closed my eyes, my heart squeezing tight at that. When I opened my eyes, it was to a soft look on Leon’s face. 

“I’ll be fine,” Leon said, promising me. “I’ll move on. I promise. As long as you’re happy, I’ll be happy.”

“You deserve so much more than this,” I said, almost whispering. “More than me.”

“Hey,” Leon said, frowning a bit. “Don’t ever say things like that. Don’t let Pendragon hear you say things like that either. I doubt he’ll like hearing you say things like that about yourself.”

“You’re something,” I said, shaking my head. Leon grinned. 

“And because of that, I’m convinced there’ll be someone else for me,” Leon said, shrugging. “I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me and just be my friend. Come to me when you want to talk to someone and I’ll be happy.”

I knew I couldn’t do anything else for him, so I nodded. He smiled at that and then he nudged me. “Come on, we’ll be late to class,” he said.

 

***

 

“Merlin?” Freya said as she sat next to me at the table. Morgana beamed at her and waved. She returned the smile before she looked at me. 

“Hey,” I said, grinning at her. Freya gave me a nervous smile. “It’s been a while.”

“It has,” Freya said. “You’ve been busy.”

“Right,” I said. “I’m sorry. I…I didn’t mean to neglect you or something.”

“No!” Freya said, her eyes wide. “No, I didn’t mean to accuse you like that.”

I nodded, feeling a bit awkward. I glanced up to notice Morgana looking at me with a gleam in her eyes. Gwen seemed to be looking up from her book once in a while too, her cheeks flushing when she caught my eyes. Will simply slurped his milk from the carton, eyeing Freya before he dragged his eyes on me, raising an eyebrow. 

Freya fidgeted from next to me and I knew that I wasn’t the only one feeling this awkwardness. 

“Merlin,” she began but she was promptly cut off when someone sat next to me, knocking my shoulder. 

“Arthur,” Morgana said, blinking at the blond. Arthur grinned before he looked at Morgana’s tupperware and snatched two sandwiches from it. Morgana squawked and hugged her tupperware tight to her chest. Lancelot joined us as well, sitting next to Gwen, pecking her temple as he placed his tray of food on the table. 

“Hi,” Arthur said when he looked at me. I glanced at him, hyperaware that his shoulders were brushing against mine and his thigh was pressed up against my own. He never sat with us before. This was a new occurrence and from how Morgana was looking at Arthur like he grew a second head, I could safely say that this had never happened before I joined this school either. 

“Hi,” I squeaked, confused. Arthur munched on the sandwich he stole.

“I hope you don’t mind us joining you,” Arthur said. 

“No, it’s fine,” Morgana said, slowly. “Just, you never wanted to share a table before.”

“Well, we thought, ‘why not?’ today,” Lancelot said with a shrug. 

“Ah,” I said, clearing my throat. I tried to put some distance between Arthur and I but the blond only hooked his ankle around mine and stopped me. I jolted a bit and resisted the urge to shake his leg away, wondering what he was trying to do.

“Gwaine and Percival will be joining us soon,” Lancelot said. Gwen blinked at that admission. 

“Oh,” Gwen said. “That’s…nice.”

She looked mildly uncomfortable at the notion of more people joining our table. Lancelot wrapped an arm around her shoulder and kissed her temple again. Gwen relaxed a bit before she nodded. 

“This is weird,” I mumbled. I heard Arthur snickering from next to me. “Not funny,” I said, my voice low enough for him to hear.

“Calm down,” Arthur whispered back. I was amazed at how cool he was acting.

“Uhm,” Freya said, catching my attention. 

“Oh, you were about to say something, weren’t you?” I said, looking at her. Freya blushed and nodded. 

“I was just wondering if we could—”

“Oh, they’re here!” Arthur said, loud enough for Freya to be startled into silence. I furrowed my eyebrows, slightly annoyed. 

I nudged his rib. “Freya was about to say something.” 

Arthur ignored me as he waved at Gwaine and Percival and then, he stilled. His shoulders grew tense. I looked at him and saw him glaring at someone. I looked over my shoulders and realised that Leon was joining us as well, talking to Percival. 

I smiled at them, waving. Arthur scoffed under his breath. 

“What is _he_ doing here?” Arthur asked. 

Gwaine patted Arthur. “Leon’s our friend, mate.”

“Hi,” Leon said, looking a bit uncomfortable now that he was standing in front of our table. I immediately smiled at him. 

“Hey,” I said. “Go ahead and sit.”

Leon smiled back at me. Morgana patted at the seat next to her and Leon looked relieved that he was beingwelcomed. Gwaine sat next to Leon and Percival sat next to him. The table was now looking a bit too crowded. 

Arthur huffed his breath. I nudged his leg from under the table in warning. He nudged back, hard. I almost frowned and stomped his feet in retaliation. 

“I hope you don’t mind,” Leon said, his eyes flashing as he looked at Arthur. 

“Actually,” Arthur started but one glare from Morgana and Arthur was silenced. “It’s fine,” he said, waving a hand at him. Leon nodded, stiffly.

“I’m glad you’re joining us,” Will said, catching Leon’s attention. “I was beginning to get worried you forgot about us for a minute there.”

“Never,” Leon said, grinning. Morgana chuckled. Will grinned back. 

“I still can’t believe you knew Leon,” Morgana said as she nudged Will. Will blushed a bit and shrugged, looking shy. 

I looked at him before I noticed how Leon had tilted his head a bit, his eyes flitting from Morgana to Will a few times. 

“Are you both dating?” Leon asked then to Morgana and Will, blunt as ever. 

Will blushed furiously, his eyes filled with panic as he looked at Leon. Morgana had blushed as well but she didn’t seem as panicked or flustered as Will. 

“Ah, no,” Morgana said with a light giggle. “We’re just friends.”

I felt a pang of pity for Will when I saw him deflating. “Yeah, _that_ ,” he said. 

“Oh,” Leon said, awkwardly. “Sorry. I thought…”

“It’s fine. We’re not together,” Will said, almost bitterly. He remained quiet for a while before he shook his head and stood up. “I’m going to go, guys. Got to…run to the library.”

I was about to stand up to accompany him, knowing that he was sad when Leon stood up, looking guilty. “I’ll…come with.”

Will hesitated before he shrugged. Morgana blinked at that. 

“A—Alright,” Morgana said as she watched Will walking away with Leon jogging to catch up to him. 

“Well,” Gwaine said. “That was… _yikes_.”

Morgana frowned as she finished her sandwich. “I hope he’s alright. He seemed upset.”

Gwaine snorted. 

“What?” Lancelot asked, looking confused. “What happened there?”

“You lot are daft, seriously,” Gwaine said slamming a hand on the table. 

“G—Gwaine,” I said, shaking my head when Gwaine looked at me. His eyebrows furrowed for a second before he sighed. 

“What?” Morgana asked, confused. “What’s with that look? Merlin?”

I gave Morgana a nervous smile. “Nothing, Will is just…sad about some things. He’ll be fine, promise.”

Morgana looked at me dubiously before she nodded. “If you say so.”

“Yes,” I said, clearing my throat, hoping Will was fine for real. 

Gwaine simply rolled his eyes. “Honestly,” he muttered. 

“Honestly yourself,” I said, raising my eyebrows at him. Gwaine narrowed his eyes at me before he rolled his eyes again. 

“Like I said,” he said before he glanced at Percival who was looking a bit confused. “ _Daft_.”

I chuckled, shaking my head. Percival looked offended. 

“What do you mean daft?” he asked. 

“Like I said, daft,” Gwaine said, grinning cheekily. Percival simply sighed. 

They seemed to get along a bit better. But I knew from one glance at Gwaine that Percival hadn’t done the things Gwaine wanted him to do. I pitied him as well. I knew how he felt. 

Freya touched my arm then. I looked at her before I flushed, realising that I had been ignoring her. 

“Sorry,” I apologised to her. “You were saying?”

“Can we talk alone for a minute?” she blurted out, her face reddened the minute the words came out of her mouth. I nodded. 

“Yes, of course,” I said. Freya sighed in relief before she nodded.

“Now?” she asked. 

“Uhm,” I started, still feeling Arthur’s ankle hooked to mine, both of our legs swing slightly back and forth. “Sure,” I said, at last. 

“Thanks,” Freya said, smiling as she stood up. I pushed Arthur’s leg away from mine and stood up as well. Arthur immediately looked at me before his gaze moved from Freya to me a few times, his eyebrows raising. 

“I’m just going to talk to Freya for a minute,” I explained to everyone. I avoided Arthur’s darkening gaze and looked at Morgana, who seemed to smiling like she knew something I didn’t. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, uneasy. 

“ _Right_ ,” Morgana drawled. She then—winked. _Winked_. I blinked at her. 

“Why are you winking?” I asked. 

Arthur snapped his gaze to look at Morgana. “You were _winking_?” he demanded.

Morgana seemed startled at the reaction. “Jeez, I can’t even wink?”

Freya touched my hand and I looked at her again. “Can we…?”

“Yes, come on,” I said as I pulled my hand away from her touch. She seemed to deflate a bit and nodded. I didn’t dare to look at anyone else I followed her out. I could feel the blue eyes on me though. I shivered under his gaze as I rushed out of the cafeteria. 

We walked for a while until Freya stopped in the middle of an empty hallway. She took in a deep breath before she turned around, her cheeks pinked and her eyes simmering in an odd way. I smiled at her, nervously. I shoved my hands in my trousers pockets to hide this uneasiness crawling into my veins. 

“Merlin,” she began. Her posture was straight and tense. She looked a bit intimidating. 

“Yeah?” I said. 

“There’s something I want to ask you,” she said. Her voice wobbled at the end of her sentence, making her look vulnerable. 

“Okay,” I said. Freya opened her mouth and then closed it. 

She then shook her head. “I’m just going to outright ask,” she said. “I…Would you like to…go out with me today after school?”

I was surprised at her request. And then I felt like an idiot. Will had warned me about how she felt about me. I forgot to tell her that I didn’t like her that way. And now, I was about to reject her. I felt horrible. Just how many people was I going to hurt because of my obliviousness?

“Ah,” I said, shifting my weight from one foot to the other. “As if in…”

“A date, yes,” Freya said, her eyes glassy the longer I didn’t answer. I felt even more horrible. 

“Freya,” I started. “I…I…”

I closed my mouth when Freya closed her eyes and the tears fell. “Oh,” she said, whispering. She ducked her head and I sighed. 

What should I do?

“I think we need to talk, yeah?” I said, keeping my voice soft. Freya opened her eyes and wiped the tears off my face. 

“Are you saying no to the date?” she asked, trying to sound brave. I couldn’t say it out aloud, so I nodded at her. 

She bit her bottom lip. 

“Okay,” she said. 

“Can we…,” I started. “Talk?”

“What is there to talk about?” she asked. “I’ll be fine. I need to go now.”

“Freya,” I said as I took a step towards her. I hesitated to touch her hand but when I did, she just fell forward and hugged me tight. I stumbled back and hugged her tight, my heart squeezing when she cried. “I’m sorry,” I whispered. “I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to lead you on. I like you, yeah, but as a friend. I…I’m sorry.”

Freya nodded against my chest and I let her hold me for a while. “I’m sorry for burdening you with my feelings,” Freya said as she pulled away. I shook my head as I reached to touch her face, rubbing the tears away.

“No, I’m the one who should be sorry,” I said. Freya gave me a weak smile before she pulled away.

“Thank you for the hug,” she said. “Thanks for apologising.”

“I’m sorry,” I told her. She smiled again, this time, it was less painful and it eased the vice grip around my heart. 

“I know,” she said with a sigh. She touched my arm and squeezed. “You’re a nice boy.”

I smiled weakly back at her as she walked away, her head still ducked down. I shoved my hands back into my trousers pockets, sick to my stomach that this happened again. 

I clenched my jaw tight and turned around when I saw who was leaning against the lockers, staring at the ground as he had his hands in his trousers pockets and one leg crossed across the other. Arthur looked up from the ground to meet my eyes, searching my face. 

“Hey,” I said as I walked to where he was before I leaned next to him against the lockers, pulling my hands from my pockets to run them through my hair. “You saw that?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said, an unrecognisable tone in his voice. I glanced at him before I frowned. 

“Did you follow me here?” I asked. 

Arthur hummed before he grabbed my wrist and tugged me forward. I stumbled as he began to walk, dragging me along. I grumbled as I let him and we entered an empty classroom. He closed the door and locked it. He turned around and pulled me close by hooking my belt loops. I placed my hands on his shoulders, raising my eyebrows. 

“She likes you,” Arthur said. I nodded, flustered at how close we were. “And you rejected her.”

I furrowed my eyebrows, confused. “Yeah, I did.”

“Why?” Arthur asked.

I looked at him in disbelief. “Because I don’t like her?” I said. 

Arthur tilted his head to the side. “And because of me?” he asked. 

I licked my lips. “Arthur, what is this about? Why did you follow me?”

Arthur remained quiet before he leaned against the door. “I didn’t like it.”

“Didn’t…like what?” I asked. 

“That she wanted to see you alone,” Arthur said, his voice flat and blunt. I blushed and crooked my lips into a nervous smile. He narrowed his eyes at that. 

“You’re unbelievable,” I said. “She’s my friend, Arthur.”

“And you hugged her,” Arthur pointed out, dragging me closer before he wrapped an arm around my waist. “I didn’t like that.”

“Arthur,” I started but I was startled into silence when Arthur turned suddenly and pushed me against the door. I gripped his shoulders tight, my eyes wide. “What…are you doing?”

Arthur touched my face, caressing my cheek before he sighed and leaned his forehead against mine. “I just don’t like it.”

“Don’t like her hugging me?” I asked, taking in a sharp breath when he pulled me tight against him until I had no choice but to bury my face in his shoulder. I wrapped my arms fully around his neck. Then, it dawned on me. “Arthur…are you jealous of her?”

Arthur tightened his grip on me. “Call me childish or whatever,” Arthur grumbled. “I just don’t like anyone touching you.”

I laughed, startled. That earned Arthur pulling away and looking at me annoyed and embarrassed. I shook my head, touching his face. “Arthur, you are childish.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said, dryly. “That’s the assurance I need.”

“Arthur,” I said, almost fondly. “Don’t—don’t get jealous, alright? I like you, a lot. Only you. Like that.”

Arthur thinned his lips and he suddenly looked vulnerable. It alarmed me. 

“Hey, why do you look like that?” I asked, confused. Arthur nuzzled into my right palm before he cradled my face.

“It’s going to take me a while,” Arthur said. “For me to be fully yours.”

“I know,” I said. “That’s why we’re…trying, right?”

Arthur nodded. “I just can’t help thinking…what if someone else came around and made you realise that you didn’t have to wait for me? You have Freya, Leon, and many others I’m sure who doesn’t have to figure out who they are and what they properly feel for you. I’m just…”

“Arthur, you’ll figure it out, okay?” I said. “Just like Freya and Leon, I’ll reject them too. I’ll…I’ll wait, I promise. I’m just asking you not to take too long but you know I’ll wait. You don’t have to feel insecure, yeah?”

Arthur looked at me for a while before he leaned in close and kissed me. 

“I think I’m starting to catch the girlishness from you,” Arthur mumbled as he hugged me tight. I slapped his back, smiling a bit. My heart raced against my chest as I hoped that Arthur would decide that I was worth it. I still felt bad for Leon and Freya but whenever Arthur held me like this, all I could think was this was what I wanted and I wanted this to last. 

I buried my face against his shoulder. 

“Can’t lose you,” Arthur mumbled. 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	19. The Date & Drama

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Hmhm. Hm. Hmmmmmm.... Things are about to get crazy after this chapter. This chapter is still mellow like the previous one. It's more about establishing some things before the start to the climb of the whole plot triangle thing. I hope you guys like it! Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. Let me know what you guys think and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

Arthur was already waiting for me by the time I was in my casual shirt and a pair of jeans, walking out of the shower stall. He fiddled with his phone before he looked at me, smiling when he caught my eyes. “Where are we going, anyway?” I asked as I made sure my locker was empty. Arthur stood up from the bench and patted his thighs, pocketing his phone in his jeans. 

“Where do you want to go?” Arthur asked. 

I hummed. “Well,” I said, my stomach fluttering. “You’re the one who asked me on a date.”

Arthur pinked at that before he shoved his hands in his jeans pockets. “I know a quaint place to grab something to eat.”

“You’re paying?” I teased and Arthur smirked. 

“I can buy you the entire restaurant if you wanted, Merlin,” he teased back. I blushed and gave him a mock glare. 

“Wow, buying my affections now, are we?” I asked as I shouldered past him to get out of the changing rooms. Arthur caught up to me before we walked side by side. 

“I thought I already have your affections,” Arthur mused. 

“Maybe,” I said. Arthur huffed his breath before he touched my elbow and halted me. I turned to look at him, blinking when he gave me a soft smile. 

“Soon, okay?” he said. I rolled my eyes before I patted his chest. 

“You’ve been saying that ever since this morning,” I said. “I get it.”

“I just need you to understand, that’s all,” Arthur said. I smiled and continued walking to my locker. 

“I do,” I said. “I do.”

Arthur didn’t say anything else after that. I took my bag out of the locker and followed him to his car. 

“I didn’t think this would happen,” I said after a few minutes of silence, listening to the car vibrating as it was driven. Arthur glanced at me before he shrugged. 

“I didn’t think this would happen either,” Arthur said. 

I leaned against my seat properly, relaxing. “Do you think you would have stayed with Sophia if I didn’t say anything?”

Arthur bit his bottom lip, furrowing his eyebrows as he stared ahead. “Maybe,” he confessed. “Like I said, I used to think I wasn’t attracted to boys. And…I still don’t think I am.”

I frowned. “But…me?”

“You,” Arthur said. “Something about you though.”

He didn’t elaborate and I didn’t ask him to. Instead, I stewed on that for a while. I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me feel giddy at the prospect that Arthur only liked boys; one boy in particular and that was me. No one else could make him feel as confused as I could. 

I couldn't help but to chuckle at that. 

“Maybe I’m special,” I said. Arthur didn’t laugh at that, instead when I looked at him, he looked contemplative. 

“Maybe you are,” Arthur said, his voice serious. I blinked at him and then blushed, looking away to look through the windows, a smile tugging at my lips. 

When we arrived at the small restaurant, it was just as Arthur described it. It was quaint. There was no other word to describe how the restaurant looked. It looked like it belonged in a village or something. The inside of the restaurant was cosy looking, with pale colours and warm heat coming from the kitchen, wafting into the dining area. 

Arthur walked to a table and sat down at one of the chairs. I sat opposite of him, taking the menus when the waiter came to our table immediately with them. 

“So, you come here often?” I asked once the waiter left. Arthur’s eyes twinkled when he looked at me. 

“Once in a while,” he said. “It’s more like my personal space. When things get too heavy and all I want is to run away. I come here.”

After a while, he added, softly, “This place reminds me of Mother.”

My heart squeezed at that admission. “So, you brought me here,” I whispered. Arthur smiled. 

“Like you said,” he said. “You’re special.”

I shook my head at him, amused, and yet honoured. “Thanks for bringing me here, Arthur,” I said. 

Arthur waved his hand at me. 

Just then, a woman came to our table. She seemed to be in her forties with an apron tied around her waist and a gentle smile on her face. 

“Arthur!” she said as she patted Arthur’s hair. “My dear, you’re back.”

“Hello, Amanda,” Arthur said, looking boyish all of a sudden under her motherly gaze. “Sorry I haven’t been coming here often. I was quite busy with things.”

“Ah yes, the things a teenage boy has to do,” Amanda said as she patted Arthur’s shoulder and laughed. “Not to worry, dear. As long as you visit me once in a while.”

“Of course,” Arthur beamed. Amanda’s grey eyes then slid to me and I froze on my seat, my heart thundering against my chest as I gripped the menu tightly. From the way Amanda and Arthur interacted, it was obvious Amanda was important to Arthur. 

I gave Amanda a weak nervous smile. “Hello,” I said. 

“Oh,” Amanda breathed out before she grinned, looking at Arthur. “Who’s this?”

“Merlin,” Arthur answered. “He’s…uhm.”

“A friend,” I said, saving Arthur the panic of saying anything he didn’t want to. “I go to his school.”

“Wonderful!” Amanda said, patting my shoulder in what seemed like approval. I sighed in relief. “He never brings a friend over. Sometimes I wonder if he even has friends!”

She laughed brightly. Arthur gave her a weak smile at that. “Well, are you two ready to order?”

“Not yet,” Arthur said. Amanda nodded before she smiled.

“Alright, take your time and call me over once you two made up your mind,” Amanda said. 

Arthur immediately looked at me, panic running in his eyes the minute she left. “I’m sorry,” he said. 

I knew exactly what he was apologising for and even though it ached a bit to not call him as mine, I knew it was for the best if there wasn’t any label yet, not until he made up his mind. “It’s fine,” I said. “You know what to do.”

Arthur breathed out, nodding at me. 

“So, what do you usually get here?” I asked as I looked at the list of food. 

Arthur looked at his menu and closed it. “Do you trust me?” he asked. 

I closed the menu slowly, eyeing him. “Yeah,” I said. He grinned, pulling the menu out of my hands before he flagged Amanda to come over. 

He ended up ordering for us some kind of spaghetti that left my eyebrows crawling up my forehead. Amanda snorted and nodded, eyeing me from the corner of her eyes before she shook her head and walked away. 

“What did you just order?” I asked. 

“It’s Amanda’s speciality,” Arthur explained. “It’s not on the menu but it’s what she usually makes for mewhenever I come here.”

I leaned against the chair, crossing my legs under the table. “How did you meet her? She seems important to you.”

Arthur smiled, softly. “She is,” Arthur said. “She’s the only mother figure I have in my life. I stumbled into this restaurant by accident actually, three years ago. Father was angry at me for something I can’t even remember and I ran out of the house to get some fresh air. Only that it started raining after twenty minutes and I tried finding shelter. Amanda saw me and immediately attended me and we became friends ever since.”

My heart squeezed again at the thought of Arthur going through things like that, things that no one his age should go through. I resisted the urge to touch his hand, just to comfort him. Instead, I curled my fingers into a fist. 

“Amanda is a nice lady,” I said. 

“She is,” Arthur agreed. “That’s how mothers are supposed to be.”

I didn’t say anything at that but I agreed with him in my mind. 

“So,” I said, clearing my throat. “What do we want to talk about?”

Arthur chuckled, amused before he shrugged. “I don’t know,” he said. “I told you, didn’t I? I’m not a romantic. I don’t even go out on dates often. So, I’m not sure of what to say.”

I rolled my eyes. “Oh, Arthur,” I said. “You’re going to be immersed in romantic gestures with me.”

“Great,” Arthur said, almost dryly. I rolled my eyes at him. We remained quiet for a while and it made me laugh that we were so awkward when we didn’t have the problem before we decided on this. I wondered if it was because we’re both unsure how to act now that we could be involved. 

“What do you want to be when you go to uni?” I couldn’t help but to ask. Arthur shrugged. 

“A lawyer,” Arthur said with a sigh. “There’s nothing else I could do.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at that, confused. “What do you mean? You’re great at football.”

“That’s not the point,” Arthur said with a sigh, sitting up straighter. “My future’s been planned from the minute I was born.”

My eyes widened when I realised what he was trying to say. “Oh,” I breathed out. “I don’t know how I would feel if my whole life is planned out like that.”

Arthur didn’t look offended. “I had a lot of time to get used to it,” he said. I frowned. “Don’t look at me like that, I’m fine, really. A lawyer isn’t that bad.”

“But you don’t like it, do you?” I asked, keeping my voice soft. Arthur stilled for a second before he looked away. 

“My preferences doesn’t matter,” he said, taking in a deep breath. “It’s just how a Pendragon lives. Morgana’s future is planned just like mine the minute she became my sister. It’s just how my family works.”

I froze at the mention of Morgana. I felt upset that the two people in my life that I cared about couldn’t do anything about this. “Morgana never said anything,” I said. 

“She’s planning on leaving,” Arthur said but it was obvious he thought it wouldn’t work from the way he huffed a breath. “It’s not going to happen. Father is planning to send her off to America if he has to.”

My breath hitched at that. Arthur ran his hand through his hair. 

“What about you?” he asked, changing the subject. I wanted to tell him something to comfort him but he didn’t seem receptive to that, not when he had changed the subject first. 

I cleared my throat. “I’m not sure yet,” I said. 

“You haven’t thought about it?” he asked, slightly surprised. 

“I mean, I have ideas,” I said. “But nothing concrete.”

He looked at me dubiously. “Merlin, you have to choose quickly. We won’t be in Year 12 forever.”

“Or I could take a gap year,” I said. Arthur looked offended at that idea. It made me chuckle. 

“That’s stupid, don’t do that,” Arthur said. I rolled my eyes. 

“I don’t mind,” I said. “I’ll probably get a job within that year, save up some money for uni.”

“You’ll get a scholarship just fine,” Arthur said. It warmed my chest that Arthur had so much confidence in me. 

“We’ll see,” I said, sighing. Arthur bit his bottom lip for a second before releasing it. “I mean, I still have time.”

“Right,” Arthur said, looking unhappy. I smiled at him. 

“Now, you don’t make that face,” I retorted. Arthur was about to open his mouth to argue when Amanda came over with two plates of spaghetti. It looked like normal spaghetti bolognese but when I took a bite out of it, the flavours burst in my mouth in a way a spaghetti bolognese couldn’t have done. 

“Is it nice, dear?” Amanda asked me.

“This is delicious!” I said. Arthur grinned, shoving his forkful of spaghetti into his mouth. Amanda looked pleased at that. 

“I like this boy,” Amanda said, looking at Arthur. Arthur pinked before he cleared his throat. 

He then looked at me in the eyes. 

“Me too,” he said. My heart skipped a beat. I looked down to my plate before I could say something embarrassing. 

I didn’t know if Arthur just said that as ‘I like this person too as my friend’ or as something more, but I held onto that anyway, like a spark of hope.

 

***

 

“Thanks for the, uh, late lunch slash early dinner,” I said, hugging my bag against my chest. Arthur drummed his steering wheel before he let it go and leaned against his seat, looking at me. His car was now parked in front of my house after he drove me back home. Our date had gone well. It left me feeling warm and squishy inside. I squirmed a bit at that thought, pushing my bag against my mouth to stop myself from grinning like an idiot. 

“You’re welcome,” Arthur said, nodding. “Thanks for agreeing.”

I buried my face into my bag then, my neck flushing at how awkward we were becoming. “This is so awkward,” I breathed out as I placed my chin on my bag. 

Arthur only chuckled. “You should go before your mother wonders where you are.”

“Right,” I said, sitting up properly. She still had no idea that Arthur and I made up—in our own ways. “I should,” I said, gathering my bag properly in one arm. I looked at Arthur and was about to wish him goodbye when his hand grazed my cheek. I stilled, my breath hitching in my throat when he pushed away a strand of my hair from my forehead before he leaned in close and pecked it. 

He pulled away with a soft smile. “Go,” he said. 

“Uh…,” I said, speechless and throat dry. When he raised an eyebrow, I reddened and nodded, opening the car door and lunged out of there. I heard Arthur laughing and I rolled my eyes as I ducked my head to look at him. “Very funny.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said, cheekily. “I know I’m funny.”

“Prat,” I muttered. Arthur waved his hand at me before he went to wear his seatbelt. I waved at him and slammed the door shut, taking a few steps to watch him drive off. I sighed and turned around to walk into my house, stopping at the entrance when I saw Mum standing back from the windows. I closed the front door and smiled at her. 

“So, that was Arthur,” she said, raising her eyebrows. I resisted the urge to blush again and opted to grin instead. She smiled. “I take it the argument is solved?”

“Yeah,” I said. “It’s fine.”

“Hm,” she said, eyeing me before she nodded. She clapped her hands once. “As long as everything is fine.”

I wouldn’t say everything was dandy but I agreed anyway. 

“It’s fine, Mum,” I said. “Everything is just fine.”

 

***

 

I called Will once I had taken a shower and settled on my bed. Will answered after two rings, sounding drained. I felt sad for him and hummed in greeting. “Hey, Will,” I said, softly. 

“Hello, Merlin,” Will said with a sigh. 

“How are you?” I asked, recalling how upset Will had been during lunch time. “You alright?”

“I’m…fine,” Will said. I could imagine him making a face at that. I remained quiet until he added, “Maybe.”

“Mate,” I said, huffing a breath. “I’m sorry you’re sad.”

“It’s fine,” Will said. 

“Have you…told her how you feel?” I asked, leaning against the headboard of my bed. Will chuckled. 

“And say what, Merlin?” he asked, sounding a bit frustrated. “She thinks we’re just friends. It’ll be weird if I tell her how I feel about her.”

“I get it,” I told him, knowing how he felt. “What happened today? You ran off today. I wanted to follow you but—”

“Freya wanted to talk to you, I know,” Will said, his voice knowing. “I heard it from Morgana when she texted me to see if I was fine a few hours ago. She asked you out, didn’t she?”

I knew Will was trying to change the subject but I also knew that if I didn’t pry it out from him, he would only hurt worse. “Will,” I said, slowly.

Will sighed. “Fine, Leon talked to me, it’s all fine,” Will said. 

“What did he say?” I asked. 

“He apologised for being insensitive,” Will mused, sounding a bit amused now. “He said he didn’t mean to hurt my feelings. And then he patted my shoulder and told me that it’ll be fine and it’ll get better.”

I sighed. “I feel so bad,” I whispered.

“There’s nothing you could do, Merlin,” Will said. “Just like how there’s nothing I can do or Morgana can do to ease this pain. It’ll be fine.”

“I’m here,” I said, echoing Will’s assurance from all the other times he said the same thing to me. “I’m always here if you want to talk.”

“Thanks, mate,” Will said, sounding better than before. “You always know how to make me feel better. Now, tell me, Freya asked you out, didn’t she?”

“She…did,” I said, biting my bottom lip. “I rejected her.”

“I’m sorry you had to do that, mate,” Will said. 

“She cried, Will,” I said, guiltily. 

“She’ll be fine, Merlin,” Will said, his voice assuring. “Don’t blame yourself, alright?”

“It sucks, rejecting people,” I said. Will chuckled.

“So, Arthur joined us for lunch at our table,” Will said after a second of silence. I reddened as I remembered what happened after that, the way he held me after Freya left and looked unhappy when I had to leave the table with her. 

“He did,” I said. Will snorted. 

“Did he tell you why he suddenly decided to join us?” he asked. 

“No,” I said. “But he did follow me when Freya asked to talk to me alone.”

“What?” he asked. “He followed you?”

“I turned around after Freya left and he was standing there, leaning against the lockers, waiting for me,” I said. 

Will breathed out. “Talk about stalker,” he said. 

“He got jealous, if you could believe it,” I said. 

“Huh,” Will said. “Maybe he likes you after all. You know, maybe he actually genuinely likes you. And he’s just taking a while to admit it to himself.”

“You think so?” I asked, wondering if he was right. Arthur seemed to be quickly adapting to being affectionate, touching me always and smiling at me with those smiles that made my stomach flip. For someone who seemed to be confused of himself, he was taking all of this in stride. 

“I think so,” Will said. 

“He took me out on a date today too,” I blurted out. 

“Seriously?” Will asked. “He did?”

“He did,” I said, sitting up properly. “He brought me to a restaurant he never brings anyone else to. I…I don’t know what to think about that. I can’t help but to think I mean something to him, Will.”

“Woah,” Will said. He remained silent for a while before he said, “Be careful either way, alright? I…still think that if he wants you, he should make things official and from the looks of it, he might. But in case he doesn’t, just don’t have too much hope, alright? The last thing I want is for you to get hurt.”

I smiled at that, knowing that Will cared a lot about me. “I know, Will,” I said. My heart thumped against my chest as I remembered Arthur’s face as he kissed my forehead a few hours ago. “I know. I will.”

“Good,” Will said. “Or else I’ll break his face.”

I snorted at that. “You and your threats,” I murmured.

“And don’t you forget it.”

 

***

 

“Beastly…Warriors?” I asked, pronouncing the words slowly. Will held back a laugh. Gwaine snorted and nodded. 

“I’m sorry, but where are they even getting these names?” Will asked, tilting his head to the side. Gwaine tilted his head back and laughed. 

“From the book of losers,” Gwaine said. I rolled my eyes at him before kicking his leg. 

“They do have terrible names in there,” Leon agreed as he sat next to Will, drinking his bottle of water. 

Arthur hummed under his breath, sitting next to me as he ran his hand through his hair. We were taking a ten minutes break from practise. Our next match was next week and everyone looked more than ready to win the trophy. When Coach announced the name of the next team we were going to go against, everyone had snickered. 

Even Coach looked amused. 

“Still, we shouldn’t underestimate them,” Lancelot said as he sat on the ground, leaning on his palms. “I believe they managed to get to semi-finals last year.”

“We beat them though,” Arthur pointed out. He wasn’t sitting as close to me as he did a week ago at the cafeteria. And yet, he seemed to be acting like he always did since we started this, sneaking kisses when noone was ever around and touching me all the time whether it was a sudden hug, or a brush on whatever parts of my face he could reach at that time. Sometimes, when there were many people, or when he passed by me at the hallways, his fingers would brush the back of my palm, startling me. 

“I don’t know,” Percival said, sitting next to Lancelot. “They might be training hard to beat us.”

“True,” Gwaine said. He then nudged Leon. 

“What do you think, Leon?” he asked. Arthur didn’t even bother to look at Leon, opting to ignore him instead. I rolled my eyes at the childish behaviour but at least he wasn’t making Leon’s life harder every time practise started. 

“Well,” Leon said, amused. “I don’t know about them but this team is pretty talented. I think we’ll be fine.”

I glanced at Arthur. He caught my eyes before he raised his eyebrows, his blue eyes twinkling. “I agree,” Will said, catching my attention. 

“That’s flattering,” Gwaine said, cheekily. “Ego boosting.”

“Like we need any more of that,” Arthur snorted. 

“Hey, it’s true,” Lancelot said, grinning. 

“Since when had you grown so confident?” I asked, watching in amusement when his cheeks reddened. 

“Since he started dating Gwen,” Will crowed. Lancelot frowned. 

“Stop embarrassing him,” Leon said, chuckling. I laughed a bit too. 

“Come on,” Gwaine said. “He’s the only one currently dating someone. Is it wrong to tease him while we’re all remain as lonely bastards?”

Will sighed before he shrugged. I froze at that for a second before I managed to choke out a nervous laugh. Gwaine glanced at me and smirked. 

“Well, then, get yourself a date,” Leon said. 

Gwaine scoffed. “As if,” he said, his voice slightly bitter. 

“I heard that girl,” Will said, snapping his fingers. “I forgot her name but she seemed to be into you.”

Gwaine blinked at that. “Who? Lisa?”

“Yeah!” Will said. 

“Oh, right,” Gwaine said, looking like he was thinking. I dragged my eyes from Gwaine to Percival, who seemed to have gone rigid, staring at the ground. “Maybe I will.”

Percival snorted then, causing everyone to look at him. “Sure,” he muttered. Gwaine tensed and I winced at the thought that this could start an argument. Will looked alarmed at the sudden change of atmosphere. 

“You have something to say?” Gwaine asked, sickeningly sweet. Percival looked at Gwaine then, his eyes sharp. 

“Maybe I do,” Percival said. “But it’s not like it’ll be heard.”

Gwaine scoffed. “I’m not doing this,” Gwaine mumbled. “Again.”

Percival opened his mouth but he closed it when Gwaine shot him a warning look. I looked away from them to notice that everyone looked uncomfortable. Leon leaned close to Will and whispered something. 

Will shrugged at him and blinked, nudging Leon before he said something else. I watched them interact before I felt fingers grazing my elbow. 

I turned to look at Arthur and he was furrowing his eyebrows at Gwaine and Percival. He looked at me then, confused. 

I cracked a smile at his obliviousness. He looked cute whenever he was confused. I leaned close and whispered, “They like each other.”

Arthur blinked, eyes widening as he pulled away to look at me properly in the eyes. “Wait, what?” he whispered back, surprised. 

I nodded. “Gwaine likes him, at least,” I said. I looked at Percival and looked back at Arthur. “I’m not sure about Percival to be honest.”

“Holy,” Arthur said, sounding awed. “I didn’t know this was happening.”

“You’ve always been oblivious,” I teased. Arthur chuckled before he gazed at me in my eyes. My smile faltered as I felt flustered. When his gaze dropped to my lips, my body started to heat up. I pulled away slowly and gave him a nervous smile. He grinned at me in return. 

“I think I’m starting to get it,” Arthur said, his voice low enough for only me to hear. That sentence alone had sent my heart racing against my chest. My mind blanked and I wondered if he meant what I thought he meant. But before I could ask him that, Arthur stood up, downing the rest of the water from his bottle. “Alright, let’s continue.”

I couldn’t help but to grip his fingers before he walked away. Arthur stilled and turned to look at me. When his eyes searched my confused and fearfully hopeful face, his eyes softened. He shook his hand away from my grasp. 

He turned to walk away, leaving me staring after him, dumbfounded. I stood up, breathing shakily as I rubbed the back of my neck, wondering if Arthur had made up his mind in favour of me.

 

***

 

“Fuck you, seriously, Percival,” Gwaine yelled.

It was chaos in the changing rooms. Arthur was pushing Gwaine against the lockers while Percival was pulled aside by Leon and Lancelot. They were both seething at each other. I was just standing between them, baffled at how a simple conversation turned into this. 

Practise was over and Lancelot started talking about where he should take Gwen next for their second date and everyone tried to pitch in an idea. When Gwaine pitched in, Percival, who seemed to be in a bad mood since the break, snapped telling Gwaine that he wouldn’t know what a date even was. 

That started an argument and it bloomed into this chaos.

And now, I was hoping that they would just stop. 

“Why? Because I won’t fuck you instead?” Percival sneered. His soft personality was completely gone, replaced with this angry person that I had no idea Percival was capable of. Gwaine’s eyes flashed in hurt. 

“Guys,” Lancelot said, eyes alarmed. “Can we stop? You guys never fight. What happened?”

“Yeah, why don’t you tell them what happened, Percival,” Gwaine snapped. 

Percival remained quiet but it was clear he was getting angrier from the way his jaw clenched. 

“What? Cat got your tongue?” Gwaine asked, mockingly. “You know what? I’m done. I’m going out with the next person who asks me out and you know what I’m going to do if you ever dared to stop me? I’m gonna punch your face.”

“I dare you,” Percival hissed. Gwaine pushed Arthur away and stormed off, wearing his shirt over his bare chest, his hair half wet from the shower. 

Gwaine flipped Percival off with a middle finger and slammed the door of the changing room with a loud bang. Percival pushed Lancelot and Leon away before he chased after Gwaine. 

“Should someone go after them?” Leon asked, sounding uncomfortable. I was too. 

“Y—Yeah,” Lancelot said. “Come on.”

Leon followed Lancelot out of the room then and I sighed, shuddering. Arthur groaned and tilted his head back on the lockers, running a hand down his face. 

“So much drama,” he said, sounding tired. “I thought that that was only something girls do.”

“Don’t let Morgana hear you say that,” I said. “She’ll probably slap your face.”

Arthur winced at that mental image. “Seriously, I’ve never seen them fight this badly before.”

“I’ve never seen Percival acting that mean,” I said, shaking my head. 

“They never fight,” Arthur said. “They were attached to the hip when they met. It’s kind of disheartening to watch them fight.”

“I believe you,” I said. Arthur touched my hair and messed it up in an affectionate manner. I huffed and slapped his hand away. “Don’t do that.”

“I’m going to take a shower,” Arthur said, rubbing his shoulder. He opened his locker door and took out his phone, looking through it before he stilled. 

“Go ahead,” I said as I went to open my own locker door, taking out my uniform. I heard Arthur sighing. 

“Uhm,” Arthur said. I closed the locker door to look at him. He was biting his bottom lip as he stared at his phone. He then looked at me, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked guilty. 

“What’s wrong?” I asked. He opened his mouth before he closed it. 

“Sophia wants to meet me now,” Arthur said. I froze at that. I searched his face for a while before I frowned, my heart thundering against my chest. 

“Oh,” I said, unsure of how to take that news in. There was still this green jealously rearing in my head every time Arthur mentioned her. It never went away and I doubt it will until Arthur made up his mind. Now she wanted to see him? “Do you have to?” I asked, my voice low. 

“I…can’t say no, Merlin,” Arthur said. He took in a deep breath. “I mean…even if we’re over—we knew each other for almost two years. I…owe her this, at least.”

I looked to the ground, hugging the clothes to my chest. I wanted to tell him not to go. I wanted to hold him and tell him to forget about her. But the less selfish part of me asked me if I was really going to be that kind of person. The type who would tell their significant other who to meet and who not to meet. 

“Merlin?” Arthur said, his voice careful. 

“Alright,” I said. Arthur didn’t say anything but then he touched my face and I was forced to meet his eyes. He smiled at me, cautiously. 

“I’ll come over after I’ve met with her, alright?” he said. I opened my mouth and then closed it. I pushed his hands away and took a step back. Arthur frowned at that.

“Alright,” I said. I gave him a weak smile. “Go. I’ll see you later.”

“Merlin,” Arthur began but I shook my head. 

“She’s been with you for a while, Arthur,” I said, my voice shaking. “You’re right, you should at least give her this.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. But I only touched his hand and squeezed his fingers. He sighed when I walked past him to the shower stalls. I closed the door before I leaned against it, shaking my head. I crouched to the floor, hugging myself for a minute. Footsteps echoed before it stopped in front of the shower stall I was in. “Merlin, I’m going to go and shower at home. I promise I’ll see you soon, alright?”

I didn’t say anything. I heard Arthur sighing once more before I heard him knocking on my shower stall door once. “I made up my mind,” Arthur said, his voice strong. I froze at that. “I’ll see you later.”

I listened to him walking away. My heart beat wildly against my chest. Some parts of me started to come up with a lot of different scenarios. Insecurity bloomed in my mind as I thought about the times I had seen Arthur with Sophia. What if this meeting made him realise that she was it? What if he realised that he liked her after all? 

What if he regretted us? If there even was an us.

I stood up and numbly went to shower, trying my hardest not to think so much. 

Once I showered and changed, I walked out to catch Lancelot and Leon walking back in, looking awkward and flushed. I raised my eyebrows at them. 

“What happened?” I asked. “You guys were gone quite a while.”

“Found them,” Leon said, clearing his throat. 

“ _Found them_ alright,” Lancelot said with a huff, running his hands through his hair as his face reddened.

“They were arguing at the hallway and Percival had a tight grip on Gwaine’s elbow and Gwaine looked like he was about to punch him. We managed to stop them before they hit each other,” Leon said, his voice squeaking. I tilted my head to the side. 

“What else happened?” I asked. “You two look flushed.”

“They made up,” Lancelot said, shaking his head, looking a bit pale. “I _really_ didn’t have to see that. But I did. _God_.”

Leon grinned, uneasy. “We managed to stop them from hitting each other but that didn’t stop Percival from tackling Gwaine when he was taunted.” And then a second later he added, “And kissed him.”

“ _Kissed_ him?” Lancelot said. “More like brutally murdered his mouth. I— _never_ want to see them kissing. Ever. Happy for them, yeah. But no kissing in front of me.”

I laughed, surprised. “Percival kissed him?”

“Yeah,” Leon said with a shrug. “We left before it got, uh, _too heated_.”

“I actually kicked Gwaine and told them to stop snogging and take it elsewhere,” Lancelot said. “But I think they made up.”

I grinned at that. “ _Finally_ ,” I said. 

“I knew something was off between them,” Lancelot said. “I didn’t think it was because they liked each other.”

“As long as they’re happy,” Leon said. I smiled at that. 

“I’m going to go now,” I said, raising my bundled up jersey and shorts. Lancelot nodded before he patted my back. 

“I’m going to take a shower,” Leon said, rubbing the back of his neck. 

“Go,” I said. “I’ll see you both later.”

With a wave of goodbye at them, I walked out of the changing rooms, happy for Gwaine and Percival. At least they made up, I mused, absent-mindedly. I thought back about Arthur and my heart raced, wondering what his decision was. I clutched my clothes tighter.

 

***

 

I stared at my phone as I sat on my bed, my knees against my chest, my arms wrapped around myself. I knew Arthur said he would be coming over later but when I glanced at my bedside alarm and noticed that it was almost eight in the evening, I was beginning to get worried. 

There were no calls, no messages, nothing. 

My heart started to sink in my chest the longer he didn’t come to see me. I huffed as I placed my chin on my knees. 

Was this it?

Was this his decision?

Were we done?

I closed my eyes, stopping myself from torturing myself. Maybe I should call him, just to ask him where he was and if he really was coming over. But would I look clingy if I did that?

He was with Sophia too. 

What if he decided after all he wanted her back?

It made me sick at that thought. 

Finally, my patience ran out and I sat down properly, grabbing my phone. I opened the contacts and hovered over Arthur’s name. I took in a deep breath. I was about to press on his name when there was a knock on my door. I frowned and placed my phone on my bed. 

“Come in,” I hollered. 

The door creaked open. I thought it was Mum but when a familiar blond hair popped in, my breath hitched in my throat. Arthur smiled at me as he walked inside, closing the door shut, leaning against it. 

I stared at him for a while, my heart thundering against my chest. 

“Hey,” Arthur said. 

“H—Hi,” I said. I flushed and looked away, my fingers twitching. I placed my hands flat on my sheets, grasping at them nervously. I heard footsteps nearing my bed before it dipped next to me. 

“So,” Arthur said. “Sorry I’m late.”

I didn’t say anything, only choosing to glance at him before looking away. Arthur didn’t say anything either for a while. 

“How did the meet with Sophia go?” I asked, my voice barely above a whisper. 

Arthur sighed. Before I knew it, he was behind me and he wrapped his arms around my chest, dragging me close until my back flushed against his chest. I squeaked, eyes wide as my heart raced in my chest. 

“A—Arthur?” I asked, my voice now a loud whisper. Arthur tucked his chin on my shoulder.

“It’s fine, you know,” Arthur said. I was tense in his arms as I tried to make sense of what he was saying, my mind blanking as his warmth enveloped me. 

“What?” I asked. 

“Not liking the idea of me seeing her or meeting with her,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “It’s fine to want me to not see her.”

I felt ashamed a bit that Arthur could see right through me. “Sorry,” I said. “I…”

“Don’t be sorry,” Arthur said, humming, sounding amused. “It’s reasonable. I don’t like you talking to Leon either.”

I snorted at that, relaxing in his hold. “Leon is just a friend.”

“He still likes you,” Arthur retorted. 

I didn’t argue with that. “What happened…with her and you?” _That caused you to come over so late?_ was left hanging in the air but I knew Arthur understood it anyway when he tightened his grip on me. 

“She wanted to know why I broke up with her,” Arthur said. “Wanted me to know that she loved me and she wanted me back. She said she would try to be a better girlfriend. She…she cried.”

I frowned and closed my eyes, dreading the question that was about to leave my mouth. “What did you say?”

“I told her,” Arthur said. “I told her I was sorry. I can’t stay with her because I don’t love her. I couldn’t hurt her like that, not when…not when I think of someone else every time I’m with her.”

My eyes snapped open at that. “Arthur?” I asked. 

“I’m not getting back with her,” Arthur murmured against my shoulder. “I took a walk after meeting with her to clear my mind. But…I made up my mind.”

“That’s fast,” I tried to joke even if my voice started to wobble. Arthur pulled away and I turned around to look at him. I searched his face and his eyes bored into mine with seriousness. He touched my face then, both of his hands cradling my cheeks. 

“I made up my mind,” Arthur said. 

I bit my bottom lip. “W—What is it then?”

Arthur smiled, soft. “I like you, a lot,” Arthur said. “ _A lot_.”

“O—Okay,” I said, my voice cracking. 

“And I want to be with you,” Arthur continued. “If you’d like, I think we should get together…officially.”

My eyes widened and my breath got stuck in my throat. I touched his hands that were on my face and squeezed his fingers. “Like…boyfriends?”

Arthur chuckled before he nodded. “You have to be patient with me,” Arthur said. “I do want to hold your hand in public or kiss you when I feel like it in front of everyone. But I’m still scared to do that and it might take me some time to gather enough courage to do those things. But if you’ll have me, then I want to be your boyfriend and I want you to be mine.”

“Yours, huh?” I croaked, relief crashing into my chest so hard that my eyes watered. Arthur’s eyes flashed before he nodded, dragging my face close until our noses brushed. 

“Mine,” he repeated. “Yeah?”

I smiled then and lunged at him, hugging him tight. 

“Is that a yes then?” Arthur asked. I laughed and pulled away before I kissed him. Arthur immediately kissed me back, one hand on my hip while the other he cradled my jaw. 

“Yes,” I said as I pulled away. Arthur grinned at me. He then lied on his back and pulled me on top of him. He pushed my head on his chest. I curled a hand over his waist, hesitantly, amused and flustered at this position. “Are we cuddling now? Are we really moving this fast?”

“I’m trying to be romantic here,” Arthur groused as he looked down at me, his lips quirked upwards. 

“Oh,” I said, blushing. I looked away and grumbled when Arthur laughed, running his fingers through my hair. 

“So, you’re my boyfriend then? Exclusively? Officially?” Arthur asked, a hint of insecurity in his voice. It jarred me that he could even sound like that and I quickly looked at him. I never wanted to hear him sound like that again. 

“Yes, yes,” I said, nodding. “You too?”

Arthur smiled. “Me too.”

We lied there for a while in the quiet as I sighed in disbelief. “We’re together,” I murmured. 

Arthur sounded a bit sleepy as he said, “We’re together.”

I smiled, giddy at that. 

 

 


	20. The Beginning of Everything

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Hehe, just as the title suggests, this is the beginning of everything! >:D I have nothing else to say but thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story kudos! Let me know what you guys think and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

“You’re chirpy,” Morgana said as we walked down the hallway during lunch break. I hummed under my breath, my mind still high from what happened yesterday night. Arthur who held me tight and told me that I was the one he wanted. It made me feel like all the ache I felt was worth it. “Very chirpy.”

“I’m happy,” I told her, smiling. Morgana raised her eyebrows before she stopped walking, crossing her arms against her chest. I stopped walking as well, my smile faltering at the look in her eyes. “What?”

“I’ve never seen you this giddy before,” she said. She squinted her eyes at me. “Did something happen?”

I froze for a second before I shook my head, trying to shake off the feeling that she somehow knew about what transpired last night. But that couldn’t be, right? Unless he told Morgana. I made a note to ask him about it. I wasn’t sure if I should tell Morgana. We were new and I would be lying if I wasn’t a bit terrified that this all would end up being a dream.

“Nothing,” I said with a shrug. “I’m just happy.”

“Hm,” Morgana said, obviously not believing me. She grabbed my arm and looked at me closely, her eyes widening in a scary way. “You wouldn’t lie to your childhood friend now, would you?”

I cleared my throat, trying my best to meet her eyes and not look away in guilt. “No!” I lied.

Morgana scoffed and pushed me away. “I know it couldn’t be Freya,” she said, tilting her head to the side a bit. “You rejected her.”

I frowned. “Speaking of Freya, I haven’t seen her today.”

“You can’t be that dumb,” Morgana deadpanned. I blinked at her. She sighed. “She’s obviously avoiding you. You just rejected her, Merlin.”

“Right,” I said, feeling a bit sad at that. “I didn’t want to hurt her. I just don’t see her that way.”

“You look like you liked her though,” Morgana said. “I was sure you liked her.”

I remained quiet a while before I shrugged, continuing to walk. “I used to,” I admitted. “I thought I had a crush on her but then it faded.” Replaced by me fancying Arthur instead.

Morgana nudged my shoulder. “She’s a nice girl, Merlin,” Morgana said. “You should’ve given her a chance.”

“I don’t think that would have changed about how I feel about her,” I told her, shoving my hands in my trousers pockets. “I’ll only end up hurting her more.”

Morgana hummed. “Who knows?” Morgana said. “If you gave her a chance, maybe you would have liked her like you did when you met her.”

“Morgana,” I said, glancing at her.

“Alright, fine,” Morgana said, shaking her head as a frown appeared on her face. “I just don’t get it. How can you say no to a girl like Freya, really?”

“I said no to a boy like Leon too,” I said, irritated that she kept persisting. Morgana snorted.

“You don’t like boys,” Morgana said. “So, that’s understandable. But Freya—”

“Morgana, please,” I said, looking at her. “I just don’t like her that way. Stop. I’m not going to give her a chance.” Morgana glared at me like I mortally offended her.

“Wow,” she said. “Who knew you could be like this.”

“Like what?” I asked, eyebrows furrowing.

“Like one of those typical jocks,” Morgana said. “Those who think they’re too good—”

“Oh for the love of—”

“No, no, listen here,” Morgana said. “Just because you’re suddenly popular doesn’t mean shite when you think you’re too good—”

“I don't think I’m too good!” I said, cutting her off. I stopped and stared at her, hurt. “What the heck, Morgana? Since when have I ever given you any impression that I was too good for someone? Just because I wouldn’t date Freya? I hurt her, yeah, and I’m sorry for that.”

Morgana thinned her lips. “It’s just,” she started. “I felt bad for her, alright? She cried the entire day yesterday. It sounded like you rejected her harshly and the way you act so aloof about it—”

“I like someone else,” I blurted out. “So, stop accusing me of things that I’m not. You don’t know how bad I felt for hurting her. But there’s nothing I can do, Morgana. I like someone else.”

Morgana promptly shut her mouth. Her eyes widened as she searched my face. “Wait, what?” she asked.

“No,” I said as I took a step back. “You don’t get to accuse me for being selfish and hurtful and then change your tune. I thought you knew me better than that, Morgana.”

“Merlin,” Morgana said. She grabbed my hand but I just took it away from her grasp. She looked hurt now. “Merlin, I…”

“Like, really?” I asked her. “I never once let the fame or whatever it was get to my head. You know how much I hate being the centre of attention. Have you forgotten that I wanted nothing more but to blend in? How could you accuse me of being insensitive?”

“I’m sorry,” Morgana said. “I’m sorry. I…I misjudged. It’s just—I’m sorry. I’m a shitty friend. I’m sorry. I just got protective of her.”

“You know me longer though,” I said, my voice low. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. “I’ll see you later, Morgana.”

“Merlin,” she started but I shook my head and walked away from her. I clenched my hands into fists tight, fighting the urge to kick something. How could Morgana ever think like that about me?

I stopped walking for a second, running my hand through my hair, tugging at the edges. I stared at the ground for a while, unsure of what to do with this situation. I turned to look over my shoulders and realised she hadn’t followed me.

I looked ahead and took another step forward and stopped when I saw a familiar female walking down the hallway. Her eyes landed on me and they were filled with hatred. I hadn’t seen her since the times at the field and the locker room. She quirked an eyebrow at me as she sauntered to stop in front of me.

“So, you did it,” she said, disgust in her words. I blinked at her and took a step back. She noticed that and tossed her head back, laughing. “Look at that, Big Ears is scared of lil’ old me.”

“Morgouse,” I greeted her. “Nice to see you again. Not. Bye.”

“Oh no,” Morgouse said as she grabbed my hand. I snatched it back, glaring at her. “Cenred’s suspended from the team, did you know that? Of course you do. And he’s suspended from school as well because he bullied you. Oh wait, you were there to testify.”

I remembered that clearly. I did testify for what happened with Cenred at the office the next morning. And with my friends backing me up, at the end Cenred got suspended from both the team and school. I thought I was free from him but I forgot about his girlfriend.

“What do you want?” I asked. Morgouse gave me a creepy smile that spelt out trouble.

“You’ll see,” she said with a mock sigh. “Your life is about to get ten times harder.”

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. She took another step towards me before she poked my chest with a Cheshire grin. “When you least expect it,” she purred. “I’ll snatch away the thing you love the most and hurt you so terribly, you’ll think twice about hurting something that’s mine ever again.”

“What the,” I said. “You’re a psycho.”

“Oh, darling,” she said as she took a step back. “You’ll see what hell means when you heart wilts and dies.”

With a wave at me, she walked away, bumping my shoulders. I stood there, staring at where she had been as fear coiled at the pit of my stomach. What did she mean by that? I wasn’t a fool to not take her warnings seriously. I took in a shuddery breath, knowing I had gone pale.

There was dread forming in my heart.

 

***

 

“You’re quiet today,” Arthur said as he sat next to me at the bench, untying his shoelaces. I blinked, looking at him before I shrugged. Arthur hummed under his breath, stopping for a second before he leaned on his knees and ducked his head to catch my eyes. “Hey, what’s wrong?”

I sighed. “There’s just some things bothering me.”

Arthur frowned, sitting up straighter. “What is it?”

I remained quiet for a second, biting my bottom lip. What Morgana said still hurt me and then coupled with the fact Morgouse threatened me, I didn’t know what to think. I stood up and ran my fingers through my hair. Maybe I should take a shower and clear my head. I haven’t showered after practise yet.

A hand circled my wrist and halted me. I turned and looked at Arthur, who had his eyebrows furrowing.

“What?” I asked.

“You didn’t answer me,” Arthur said. He tugged my hand a bit, causing me to take a step closer until I stood in front of him. He rubbed my wrist and let it go to touch my waist. “You’re very distracted today. You couldn’t even concentrate during practise.”

“Oh, you saw that, did you?” I asked, embarrassed. We were playing a match today and I stopped running halfway when I thought I saw Morgouse in the sea of cheerleaders. Before I knew it, someone accidentally kicked the ball with too much force and it nearly hit my head as it flew past. I had crouched down in shock when what happened registered.

“Of course I did,” Arthur said, smiling. “I couldn’t keep my eyes off you.” He rubbed my hip, his thumb making circles, dangerously close to touching my skin where my jersey had ridden up. I cleared my throat and shrugged.

“We’ve only been dating for twenty-four hours,” I said. “How are you acting so smitten already?”

Arthur pinked but his smile widened, beaming. “Is it showing?”

I blinked at that before I shook my head, in awe. “I didn’t know you would be like this once we started dating.”

Arthur stopped rubbing my hip and looked at me curiously. “Like how?”

“Like,” I said as I flushed even more, realising that I was digging a hole for myself. “You know.”

Arthur looked amused, his eyes flashing in mirth. “No, I don’t know. Like what?” he teased, grabbing my hip properly before he dragged me closer until I was dangerously close to sitting on his lap. I placed my hands on his shoulders, trying my best not to show how flustered this was making me.

“You’re a prat,” I mumbled. That earned a hearty laugh from the blond.

“Hey, you’re the one who wanted to date me,” Arthur said. He sounded nonchalant but I could see how bright his eyes were. “You get the full romance package from me. Deal with it.”

I made fake gagging noise. “I think I liked you better when you weren’t a sappy idiot.”

“Oi,” Arthur said. “Don’t say things you don’t mean. I know you love this side of me.”

I bit my bottom lip, refusing to meet his eyes, which was admission itself on how much I liked him being like this. Arthur knew that too, especially when he pushed me away a bit and stood up, grabbing my chin and tilting it upwards before he kissed me chaste.

It still left me breathless though as I smiled at him. Arthur grinned back.

“So,” Arthur said, pulling away completely and sat back down, toeing off his right shoe and went back to unlace his left. “What’s been bothering you?”

“Morgana,” I admitted at last. Arthur stopped for the second time and looked confused.

“Morgana?” he asked.

“Have you told her about us?” I asked. Arthur went rigid before he looked at me in the eyes.

“Not yet,” he said. He looked genuinely panicked. “I swear, it isn’t because I didn’t want to. I just haven’t found the right time to tell her. Merlin—”

“No, no, I get it,” I said, crouching down in front of him to pat his face. “I get it. Don’t worry about it. No, but—she’s suspecting.”

“Oh,” Arthur said before he sighed in relief. He smiled, carefully. “Is that…bad? If she suspects?”

“No, I guess not,” I said. “If only she didn’t think I was this selfish jerk for breaking Freya’s heart.”

Arthur frowned. “What? She said that to you?”

“She implied,” I said, bitterly. “I can’t believe she would say that about me. She implied I let the fame get to my head or something and that now I’m turning a nice girl like Freya down for nothing and breaking her heart. I—I didn’t mean to! I can’t help liking you. I can’t help it that I don’t like Freya anymore. I just…”

“So, you did like her before?” Arthur asked.

I glanced at him before I looked away. “Yeah,” I said.

I closed my eyes, wondering what Arthur’s reaction would be. But I certainly didn’t expect Arthur’s loud, “I knew it! Hah! Finally, you admit it!”

I snapped open my eyes and looked at him, confused. “What?”

Arthur was smiling, wide. “I knew it,” he said, snapping his fingers once and pointing at me. “I knew you liked her.”

I let that sink in my mind before I shook my head, baffled. “So…you’re not…?” I asked, cheeks blazing red when Arthur looked at me for a while and then chuckled, his eyes flashing in a way that always sent my stomach flipping.

“Jealous?” he questioned. I cleared my throat and stood up, sitting down next to him. “No, I’m not. Not when I know you’re already mine.”

I couldn’t help feeling my heart swelling at that. I hid a smile behind my hand. A hand touched the back of my neck, his fingers just barely grazing the sensitive skin and I held back a gasp and closed my eyes tight, the flush of red reached my ears, burning.

“Mine,” Arthur said as he pressed his lips against my temple and pulled away. He went back to humming and untying his shoelaces. I opened my eyes and took in a shaky breath, rubbing the back of my neck.

“You’re really possessive,” I said, unsure of how to feel about that. One part of me liked that Arthur wanted to keep me by his side but the other side of me was wary, clearly aware how dangerous such feelings could lead to. Arthur glanced at me before he smiled, assuringly.

“I’m a Pendragon,” Arthur said. “I’m used to not sharing.” He halted, frowning. “Not that you’re a thing to share. Just…I’m sorry, I’m not crazy possessive or anything. I just like saying that you’re mine, as if in you’re my boyfriend and you’re the one who now has a place in my heart and I—”

I sighed in relief, watching Arthur as he tried to explain himself, growing frustrated and panicked the longer he rambled. “Arthur,” I said, touching his shoulder. “I get it.”

“I get jealous easily,” Arthur said. “But I promise, I’m not—”

“Arthur,” I said, catching his attention. I smiled at him and he reddened. He rubbed the back of his neck before he nodded once.

“Right, great,” he said, clearing his throat. “As long as we got that cleared out.”

I nodded.

He then said, “So, Morgana said that, did she?”

I stilled before I rubbed my face. “Yeah,” I said. “It hurt me that she could accuse me like that.”

“I’m sorry she said that,” Arthur said. “Do you want me to talk to her?”

“I told her I liked someone else to stop her from accusing me those things,” I said, furrowing my eyebrows. “I didn’t tell it was you, but…I don’t know. It made me wonder if I had been acting differently since I joined the team.”

Arthur frowned. “You didn’t change,” Arthur said. “You’re still the same person I knew from all those months.” After a second, he added with slight humour, “The same boy who likes to act like a girl at times.”

“Oi,” I said, weakly, nudging him. “I told her that I was hurt and left her there.”

Arthur sighed and wrapped an arm around my shoulders, his hand was placed on my head and he gently nudged me to rest on his shoulder. I hummed, letting him do that as he rested his arm on my shoulder.

“She probably feels horrible,” Arthur said. “Do you want to go and talk to her?”

“No, not yet,” I said as I sat up. “Maybe when I’m not so upset.”

“Hey, for what it’s worth,” Arthur said, touching my wrist. “You’re still as amazing as always.”

I snatched my wrist from his grasp and chuckled. “Stop, enough of the sappiness. I’m going to gag,” I said. “You told me you weren’t a romantic!”

“I’m not,” Arthur agreed. “But that doesn't make me emotionless, Merlin, God.”

I laughed, earning a soft smile from Arthur. “I’m going to go shower,” I said, at last.

“Go, I’ll wait for you,” Arthur said.

“Thanks,” I said. Arthur smiled again.

 

***

 

Will looked at me before he grinned, patting my back. “So, he manned up, did he?”

I shrugged, feeling giddy as I lied on my bed, staring at the ceiling. Will huffed an amused breath at that. “He’s so…different though,” I said, remembering Arthur’s sappiness.

“Like?” Will asked.

“Like he would say cheesy things out of the blue without even blushing,” I said, chuckling. “He keeps on saying he isn’t a romantic but I beg to differ.”

“You look happy,” Will said, sighing. “I’m happy for you, mate.”

I looked at him before I gave him a wary smile. “What about you?”

“I don’t know what to do but,” Will said. “I think I’m going to confess after all.”

I beamed at that, sitting up to look at him properly. “Really?”

“Yeah,” Will said. “I’m not sure when yet but…I want to get this over with.”

“Do you think she’ll…?” I asked, my heart thumping in my chest remembering what she said to me this morning.

“No, I don’t think she likes me back,” Will said. “I think I’m more like her brother or something.”

I winced at that, feeling bad for him. I touched his knee, patting it. “I’ll be here for you,” I said. Will gave me a weak smile, hugging my pillow tight.

I couldn’t take the sadness on his face so I pulled the pillow off him and dragged him into a hug. Will didn’t hesitate to hug me back. We remained like this for a while before Will huffed in amusement, sounding better. “Won’t Arthur get jealous you’re hugging me?” he asked.

I snorted. “Don’t tell him then,” I said. “But I’m serious, you know. I’m here for you.”

Will hugged me tighter. “I know.”

 

***

 

Morgana caught me by my arm the next day, halting me before I could move away from my locker. Her eyes were wide and field with guilt and remorse. I sighed at her, closing the locker door before turning fully to look at her. My heart ached seeing her like this. I bit my bottom lip as she rocked on her heels.

Before I could comprehend what was happening, she threw her arms around me and hugged me tight. I stumbled back a bit, letting her hold me.

“I’m sorry,” she said. “I’m so sorry. I’m sorry. Please don’t be mad at me. I shouldn’t have said those things about you.  _Merlin_.”

My eyes blurred with unshed tears before I hugged her back just as tight. “You’re an idiot,” I told her. “Don’t ever doubt me like that. I haven’t changed at all.”

“I know, I know,” Morgana said as she pulled away, her own eyes glassy. “I should have known better. I’m sorry. It’s just lately you seemed to be hiding something from me and I felt like everyone else knew what it is but me.”

I felt guilty at that. “Morgana,” I said. “You know I’ll always tell you if there’s something. You just have to wait at times because there’s some things I’m not ready to tell yet.”

“I’m sorry,” she said, miserably as she wiped her eyes. “I must have looked like a jerk.”

“You did,” I said, smiling a bit as she gave me a hopeful smile. “Don’t look at me like that, you’re forgiven. I can’t stay mad at you for too long.”

Morgana sniffed before she smiled, this time in relief. “I’m still sorry, Merlin,” she said.

I smiled back at her before I patted her face. “It’s fine now, Morgana.”

“Come on,” Morgana said as she grabbed my hand. “Let’s walk to class together.”

I tightened the grip on her hand and chuckled, letting her pull me as we walked. Just then, I spotted Morgouse, talking to one of the cheerleaders, laughing and tossing her hair back. Her eyes flitted to mine before her smile widened and sharpened. I quickly looked away from her, wincing as I remembered her threat.

Morgana glanced at me, eyeing me with a concerned look. “What’s wrong?” she asked.

I looked at her, knowing I had gone pale. I squeezed her hand. “Uh, there is something else I need to tell you,” I told her.

She furrowed her eyebrows and we slowed our walk. “What is it?” she asked. “You’ve gone all pale and tense.”

“Yesterday, after our fight, I bumped into Morgouse,” I said. Morgana immediately stopped walking and she looked at me in the eyes.

“What?” she demanded. “Did she do something to you?”

“She threatened me,” I said. “Because Cenred got suspended.”

Morgana’s face reddened. “Why that witch!” she said. “What did she say to you?”

“Something about taking away the thing I loved the most?” I said, furrowing my eyebrows as my heart started to beat loudly against my chest. Morgana frowned.

“I’m going to talk to her,” Morgana said as she pulled her hand away.

“No, Morgana,” I said as I touched her shoulder to stop her. Morgana looked at me like I was crazy.

“Why not?” she asked. “She needs to learn that threatening someone have consequences, Merlin.”

“She…,” I started and then shuddered, shaking my head. “She hasn’t done anything though. It’ll just get you in trouble if you started something.”

Morgana looked at me before she huffed her breath, crossing her arms against her chest. “She still thinks she has the right to threaten someone after all she’s done,” Morgana said, teeth grinding. “I feel like punching her face until her ugly face becomes uglier.”

I was startled at that admission but it warmed my heart either way when I saw a flare of protectiveness in her eyes. I wrapped an arm around her shoulders and tugged her close.

“Thanks, Morgana,” I said. “But…let’s just keep a lookout.”

“Oh, I definitely will,” Morgana said. “And when she strikes, I’ll be there to catch the evidence and send her straight to jail.”

I winced at that. “Do you think she’ll actually do something to warrant time in prison?”

Morgana looked serious and I could feel lead forming in my stomach. “She’s devious, Merlin,” Morgana said. “She’s capable of anything. Don’t worry, I’ll protect you. I’ll even tell Arthur.”

I froze. I had completely forgotten to tell Arthur about it. I opened my mouth to protest but Morgana glared at me, silencing me. “No, this is serious,” Morgana said. “Don’t act like a martyr and for once in your life, let us take care of you.”

“I,” I started, a bit overwhelmed. “I just don’t like—”

“You listen here,” Morgana said as she grabbed my collar and tugged me close. “You are not a burden. You are our friend and in my circle of friends, we protect each other, alright?”

I was dangerously close to crying from how touched I was. I pulled away and looked away, nodding. Morgana seemed to be satisfied with that. “Good,” she said as she patted my back. “Come on, we still need to get to class.”

I sighed as I followed her, wondering how everyone was going to take this. God, I hope Arthur didn’t get angry at me not telling him. I truly did forget to mention to him.

Alas, Arthur did get angry. But at least he wasn’t angry at me. His eyes flashed by the time Morgana finished telling him everything. 

“Don’t worry,” Will said, touching my shoulder. “She’ll never touch you.”

“One down, another to go,” Lancelot mumbled. Gwaine had looked annoyed as well.

I looked at Arthur and tried to convey that I didn’t mean not telling him about this. I sighed in relief when he brushed his fingers across the back of my palm. A tentative smile crossed his lips.

Arthur sighed as he rubbed the back of his neck. “There’s nothing we can do, so we’ll just keep a close lookout for her.”

“Thanks, guys,” I said, biting my lip. Gwaine simply waved at me.

“You’re our mate,” he said, echoing Morgana.

It was as simply as that.

 

***

 

“A party?” Gwen asked as she leaned close to Lancelot. It was lunch time and everyone was gathered under the usual tree we hung out at the school’s backyard.

“Another party?” Will said, eyes gleaming. “I’m in!”

“Uh,” I said, earning eyes at me. “I don’t…”

“Come on,” Will said. “It’s been a while since we’ve been to a party.”

“I mean,” I said, remembering the last time I had been to one. It wasn’t really my cup of tea.

I glanced at Arthur who looked bored at the conversation, lying on the grassy ground, an arm tossed over his eyes, taking a short nap. Gwaine nudged Arthur with his feet, earning a grunt from the blond as he dropped his hand to the ground to glare at Gwaine.

Gwaine seemed happier today, or he had been chirpy the past few days ever since he got together with Percival. Percival had pecked his cheek before he settled next to Gwaine, much to my amusement and Gwaine’s delight. When Gwaine met my eyes, he simply flushed even though he was grinning and Percival looked mildly flustered as well. I couldn’t help but to grin at them.

“What?” Arthur asked. “I can’t even take a nap?”

“Stop sounding like an old man and say you’ll come to the party,” Morgana said, slapping Arthur’s head. Arthur sat up and rubbed his forehead, yawning and looking at Morgana with a flat look.

“What party?” Arthur asked.

“Oh God, you’re hopeless,” Morgana said.

“Max is having a party,” Lancelot said as he lied on Gwen’s lap. Gwen reddened at that but she didn’t do anything to push him away, instead, she rested her hand on his chest to which Lancelot took it to play with her fingers absent-mindedly by caressing them. “He invited us. Arthur, you were there!”

Arthur yawned again, looking drowsy. I furrowed my eyebrows, a bit worried that he looked this tired.

“You okay?” I asked. Arthur glanced at me before he nodded.

“I’m just tired,” he said. “Father had me staying up all night to sort out some case files.”

“Ugh, at least that old man is gone now for another week,” Morgana said. Arthur chuckled.

“That old man is your guardian, Morgana,” Arthur said.

“So? He’s not my father,” Morgana hissed. Arthur frowned at that but he didn’t say anything to argue. “Sorry, Arthur,” she said after a second, looking guilty. “I still like having you as my brother, though.”

Arthur nodded, no longer frowning. “Ditto,” he said.

“So, the party?” Lancelot said.

“Ah, when is it?” Leon asked as he sipped his apple juice from the bottle.

“This Friday night,” Lancelot replied. “I think it’s been a while since we last attended a party.”

“Ah,” Leon said. “I’m in.”

“Me too,” Morgana said.

“I…I don’t know,” Gwen said. I knew exactly how she felt. Lancelot though kissed her fingertips and gave her the puppy eyes. I saw Gwen finally giving in and nodding. “Fine. I’ll go.”

“I’m in like always,” Gwaine said. “As long as there’s alcohol.”

“I’ll join,” Percival said after a minute. “Only to keep an eye on this one,” he added and patted Gwaine’s leg. Gwaine looked outraged at that as he turned to face him.

“Oi, what are you trying to imply?” he asked.

“You just tend to do the craziest things when you’re drunk,” Percival said, raising his hands. Gwaine huffed, cheeks pinking.

“Yeah, mate,” Lancelot said. “One time, you jumped into a pool of freezing water with nothing but your pants on. I’m surprised there’s no pictures of you doing that floating around the internet.”

Gwaine grumbled, crossing his hands against his chest. “Whatever, you sore losers,” Gwaine said. “You lot just don’t know how to let go.”

“No need to get prickly now, mate,” Leon said, grinning. Will chuckled.

“Piss off,” Gwaine said. Percival chuckled as well, shaking his head.

“I’m obviously going,” Will said with a shrug.

“Uh,” Arthur said before he shrugged. He ran his hand through his hair before another yawn escaped his mouth. “Sure.”

Now all eyes were on me. I felt uneasy under their stares. “I…just,” I said. “I don’t like parties.”

Morgana huffed her breath. “It’ll be fun, I promise!”

“You said that the last time!” I pointed out. “Wait no, that was Arthur! It wasn’t fun!”

“If you really don’t want to go, it’s fine,” Leon said, smiling. Arthur rolled his eyes before he patted my back.

“Just come,” Arthur said as he leaned his head on my shoulder, looking a bit out of it. I froze as he did that, blinking as his nose nuzzled nearing my neck. I quickly pulled away and Arthur landed straight on my lap. I squeaked, trying to push him off. “I’m here,” Arthur said as he struggled to sit up, blinking a few times.

“You two are disgusting,” Morgana said. “Keep all that out of here. I’m going to puke from the bromance.”

“Shut it,” Arthur groused, cranky. “I wish I could skip for the rest of the day and sleep.”

I resisted the urge to pat his head.

“Come on, Merlin,” Will said, eyes pleading. “Please?”

“Alright,” I said, at last, shaking my head. “I’ll come. This is peer pressure, mind you!”

“Nothing will happen,” Lancelot assured.

“Yeah, mate,” Gwaine said with a shrug.

“If you really can’t stand it,” Arthur said, looking at me with a soft smile. “I’ll take you home, okay?”

I sighed, nodding.

I didn’t miss the way Morgana narrowed her eyes at us.

I just chose to ignore it.

 

***

 

Mum simply waved me goodbye as I left. She was smiling brightly and I wondered for a second if she really was happy that I was leaving for the night. I frowned a bit, was I that intolerable to be around?

Will had only laughed when I brought it up to him, instead, he told me to have fun and left it at that.

When we arrived at Max’s house where the party was taking place, I could already know that I wasn’t going to be having much fun. Arthur stood next to me as we watched Morgana bouncing off meanwhile Gwaine and Percival disappeared the minute they went inside. Gwen had followed Lancelot, sticking close to him as she took everything in with wary eyes. Leon had waved at us and went off venturing on his own, already making friends easily.

“I’m going to do it tonight,” Will said then, catching my attention. I looked at him, searching his face before I realised what he meant. My eyes widened and I grabbed his arm, dragging him away. Arthur looked confused but I simply waved at him as I continued to push Will into what seemed like the kitchen.

“Really? Tonight?” I said. Will looked small and unsure as he nodded.

“I’m scared,” Will said with a sigh. “But I want to do it. And tonight seems to be the right time. Besides, if she doesn’t like me back, no, I know she doesn’t like me back, at least there’s alcohol to forget the embarrassment.”

“Will,” I said, frowning.

“I’m not going to do it right now,” Will said with a chuckle. “Later. But I am going to do it tonight.”

I took in a deep breath and nodded, squeezing his shoulders. “Alright,” I said. “But you know I’m here for you.”

Will nodded, taking a step back. “I know, Merlin,” he said and then looked over my shoulders before he looked back at me, amused. “You should get back to Arthur. He looks worried.”

I looked over my shoulder and saw Arthur standing at the entrance of the kitchen, waving an awkward hand at me. I snorted and looked back at Will.

“Alright,” I said. “I’ll see you around?”

“You will,” Will said and decided to leave me. I sighed, rubbing the back of my neck. A hand touched my elbow and I turned to look at Arthur.

“What was that about?” he asked, confused.

“Will likes Morgana,” I said. Arthur blinked.

“Really?” he asked.

“Yeah,” I said. “He’s going to confess to her tonight.”

“Huh,” Arthur said. “I hope everything goes well for him then.”

I gave him a sad smile. Arthur sighed. “Come on,” he said. “What do you want to do?”

“Well,” I said before I shrugged. “To be honest, all I want to do is find a quiet corner and sit down.”

Arthur frowned. “Are you really that uncomfortable?”

I was about to answer him when someone spoke through the microphone and a minute later, music started blaring through the speakers. I cringed at the choice of song. I rubbed my ears, giving Arthur a look. He chuckled before he touched the small of my back and started to gently walk me to the backyard where the music was muffled and there weren’t any people here.

“Why did I even come?” I whined. Arthur kept his hand on the small of my back and only pulled away when he nudged me to sit at the chairs placed near the pool.

“Because I asked you to?” he said, smiling cheekily. I smiled back before I licked my lips.

“I think you should leave me,” I said. Arthur looked taken aback at that.

“What?” he asked. “Why—Why should I leave you?”

“Because,” I said.

“Wait, what?” Arthur exclaimed.

“I mean, this is a party,” I said, slowly, wondering why Arthur was looking paler by the second before his eyes flashed.

“I can't believe you!” Arthur said, standing up. I blinked at that, standing up as well and grabbing his hand when he tried to leave. He turned around and snatched his hand away, his eyes filled with hurt and anger. I took a step back, shocked. “All because of a party, really, Merlin?”

“What?” I said, confused. “What are you talking about?”

“What are  _you_  talking about?” Arthur said. “We just got together and you’re breaking up with me because I brought you to a party?”

I spluttered at that. “Arthur!” I said, laughing a bit. He looked angrier. “No,  _no_ , Arthur. I didn’t mean  _that_! I meant, you idiot, you should leave me to stay here and go enjoy the party!”

He searched my face before the hurt vanished from his eyes. “Wait…what?” he asked, his voice no longer held anger but confusion. 

“Arthur, why would I break up with you after I literally just got together with you?” I asked him, raising my eyebrows. “I like you, you prat.”

Arthur huffed his breath before he sat down on the chair opposite of mine, shaking his head in shame. His cheeks reddened and he placed his face in his hands. “Oh god,” he moaned in despair. “I really did it this time.”

I chuckled and sat down. “Arthur, you really don’t think I would break up with you for something like this, did you?” I asked. I touched his wrists and pried his hands off his face. Arthur sighed and shook his head, looking at me guiltily.

“Sorry,” he apologised. “I—I didn’t mean to accuse you of that.”

“Arthur,” I said, fondly. “You’re forgiven.”

Arthur nodded before he shook his head as if he was trying to clear his mind. “Got scared there for a second,” Arthur admitted, pulling his hands from my grasp and touched my wrists. “Thought you wanted me to leave you.”

“No,” I said as I scooted closer, our knees brushing. “I literally cried over you, you know.”

Arthur’s eyes widened at that. “Oh, yeah,” he breathed out. “Shite, I never want you to cry because me again.”

I couldn’t help the flush creeping on my face. “I believe you,” I said.

“And I’ll stay here, thanks,” Arthur said. He touched my face then. He cradled my jaw before he scooted closer. “I just realised something.”

“Yes?” I asked, blinking.

“I haven’t kissed you yet,” he said.

I snorted and pulled away from him. “I think you need to bring me something to drink first,” I teased. “And maybe then I’ll consider kissing you.”

“Making me work for it already?” Arthur asked, rolling his eyes.

“Well,” I said. “Take it as a payback for misunderstanding me.”

Arthur smiled and stood up. “Something nonalcoholic?”

“Yeah,” I said, smiling back at him. Arthur leaned down and kissed my head before he nodded. I leaned against the chair properly as I watched him walk away.

A few minutes later, Arthur did return with a can of cola and kissed me on my lips before I could even grab the can. We just sat there for a while and as more people started to enter the backyard, we finally decided to relocate into the house and find a quiet corner.

I was walking past a room and stopped when I saw Will and Morgana in there, facing each other. They were busy talking and the door was opened slightly, leaving enough room for me to peep in. Arthur stood next to me, eyebrows furrowed. I glanced at Arthur before I pointed at them through the slit.

Arthur leaned down to look and he made a soft surprised noise at the back of his throat.

I knew that we shouldn't peek in but I couldn’t help but to worry. My heart broke when I saw Will nodding and Morgana looking apologetic. Arthur touched my shoulder and pried me away from there.

“She rejected him, didn’t she?” I asked. Arthur looked bad but he nodded. I sighed, rubbing my face.

“Come on,” Arthur said. “Let’s leave them alone.”

I looked over my shoulder one last time and followed Arthur away from there, my mind occupied with Will.

I didn’t even realise that we were at a quiet hallway until Arthur pushed me against the wall, one hand curling on my waist and the other tilting my chin so I was forced to look at him. I shuddered as he pressed his body against mine.

My heart thundered against my chest. He leaned down, his forehead pressing against mine.

“What…What are you doing?” I asked, my face reddening.

“Well,” Arthur said. “I wasn’t satisfied with the kiss I received earlier. So, I demand a better one.”

“A…better one?” I said, my voice faltering as I closed my eyes when his nose nudged my cheek.

“Let me kiss you again,” Arthur said, his voice low. The hand on my chin rearranged to cradle my jaw and before I could answer, he kissed me. I kissed him back, my hands touching his chest before I dragged them up to curl at his jaw. His hand on my waist moved to touch my back and he pushed me against him even closer. I gasped, a shiver running down my spine when Arthur slipped his tongue into my mouth, my face being tilted to the side so we could kiss better.

I moaned under my breath when he pulled away, kissing him again the second they separated.

We were so lost into each other that we didn’t hear a pair of footsteps echoing down the hallway heading towards us.

We only realised it a bit too late that someone else was here when a familiar female shriek startled us. We pulled away, both still holding each other. I stared at Arthur before we slowly turned to look at who walked in on us.

My eyes widened and my breath left my lungs when I saw a pair of shocked green eyes. Arthur had frozen against me as well. I doubted he was breathing either.

Morgana looked at Arthur before she looked at me and then she looked back at Arthur.

She then shrieked again.

“ _Why are you kissing each other_?”

 


	21. Trust

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot. 
> 
> A/N: *cue dramatic music* Ladies and Gentlemen; welcome to the chaos. Well, beginning of chaos anyway. I think the next chapter is like where chaos actually happens haha. Hah. Hm. Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys think of this and until next chapter~! -Krystal

 

I fiddled with my thumb, glancing at Morgana and looking away meanwhile Arthur was rubbing the back of his neck, smiling warily at her. Morgana was leaning against a table, arms crossed and eyes darting from Arthur to me and back to Arthur a few times. 

We were in the same room I had seen Will and Morgana used a few minutes ago. Now, I was here, being stared down at. 

“Well?” Morgana asked, her voice tight. “Do I have to guess?”

“Morgana,” Arthur began. 

“Shut up, Arthur, I’m not talking to you yet,” Morgana said, glaring at him before she looked at me. “Well?”

I bit my bottom lip, glancing at Arthur before I looked at her. I took in a deep breath and blurted out, “Arthur and I are dating.”

It was silent for a while before Arthur said, “Yeah, _that_.”

That set Morgana off. 

“ _Dating_?” she squawked, her hands flailing about. Arthur took a step back, trying to stay away from those hands. I simply watched her, resisting the urge to bite my thumb. Her face was turning red and she started yelling louder and louder. 

“Morgana,” I said, standing up. “Calm down.”

“No, no, I will _not_ calm down!” she said, pointing a finger at me. “You’re dating _Arthur_?”

“Technically we’re dating each other,” Arthur said. 

“I told you to _shut up_ ,” Morgana hissed at him before she looked at me. “Explain.”

“I,” I started. “I mean. I…It’s still new and…”

“Morgana,” Arthur said. “Calm down, yeah?”

Morgana narrowed her eyes at me, ignoring Arthur. I took a step back and went back to sit down on the chair, biting my bottom lip. 

“I’m sorry,” I said, at last. Like magic, the anger drained out of her body and she sighed, rubbing a hand down her face. “I’m sorry. I was planning on telling you. I just needed to find the right time. I didn’t want you to find out like this.”

Morgana took in a deep breath before she shook her head. “I did suspect,” she said, looking at Arthur. “That you two were suddenly too close to be just friends.”

“I wasn’t really trying to hide it,” Arthur admitted, surprising me. I blinked at him. He looked at me and shrugged. “I really wasn’t.”

I couldn’t help but to smile at that. Morgana cleared her throat, catching our attentions again. “So, how did it happen?”

“I liked him first,” I said. I blushed red and sunk into my seat. Morgana blinked at that. 

“You…liked him first?” she asked. “What? You hated him!”

Arthur winced at that. 

I bit my inner cheek. “I—disliked him,” I said. “Look, Arthur gave me a shitty first impression, what was I supposed to do about that?”

“Oi!” Arthur said. I looked at him, raising my eyebrows. He huffed his breath. “Right,” he conceded. “No offence taken.”

I rolled my eyes, amused. Morgana simply looked confused. 

“When did you start liking him?” she asked. I fidgeted where I sat. 

“I think it started after the party,” I breathed out. Arthur made a surprised noise at that. 

“What?” he asked. 

“Yeah, I mean,” I said, hunching my back so I looked smaller. “My impression on him changed that night at the party. It just went on like that, I suppose. I didn’t understand at first why my heart beat so fast in my chest whenever he’s around or close to me or why I feel warm and fuzzy inside whenever he did things that I didn’t think anyone would do for me. But I did soon and I just fell—like that.”

Morgana remained silent, her eyes scrutinising me. Arthur seemed to have gone silent as well. I could feel his eyes burning a hole in me but I didn’t dare to look at him. 

“When you said you liked someone,” Morgana said. “You were talking about Arthur.”

“Yeah,” I said, nodding. I looked at her in the eyes. “I really like him, Morgana. That’s why I wasn’t interested in anyone else.”

Morgana sighed. “And what about you?” Morgana asked Arthur. “How do you feel about him?”

“I like him,” Arthur said, not even hesitating to answer her. That sent flutters in my stomach as I tried to hide my pleased smile. “A lot. Took me a while to figure out why I care so much about him or why I hated seeing him hurt. At first I chalked it up to my usual protectiveness—but…”

“But?” Morgana questioned. 

“I can’t seem to stop touching him,” Arthur said. Morgana turned red a bit as she dragged her eyes at me. 

“Did you two—”

“No!” I said, blurting out. Flustered, I looked away to the ground. 

“Wow, don’t hold back or anything,” Arthur said, though his tone was only teasing. Still, I winced and looked at him.

“It’s just,” I told him. “I really am a romantic, Arthur. Like—you guessed it right that night.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows before realisation dawned on his face and he reddened. “Oh,” he squeaked. Panic bloomed in my chest, wondering if I had made a mistake telling him that. 

“I—I mean we can still snog but,” I said, frowning worriedly. “I mean…”

“Merlin,” Morgana cut me off as I looked at her. “How long have two been dating?”

“About a week and a half,” I said. 

“So, you broke up with Sophia because of him,” Morgana said as she looked at Arthur and pointed at me. 

“Yeah, of course,” Arthur said. “I’m not a cheater, Morgana.”

“I didn’t say you were,” Morgana defended. “I’m just glad you got rid of her.”

“Morgana,” Arthur said with a sigh. 

“Anyway,” Morgana said. “Right, so my step brother and my childhood slash best friend are dating. Together. Right. I just need to ask this because _this_ has been bothering me. Since when any of you are gay?”

“Bisexual,” I said. “I’m not gay.”

“I’m,” Arthur said, looking a bit uneasy. “I’m not sure. I still genuinely don’t think I’m attracted to boys. I think I’m only attracted to Merlin.”

“That’s,” Morgana said. “I guess, romantic.”

Arthur cracked an amused grin at that. “Merlin has always loved romantic gestures. This could be the biggest one of all.”

I smiled nervously at that, still bothered at the fact Arthur didn’t react favourably to the notion that we weren’t going to be having any under the clothes action. Not that I didn’t want to—but I honestly loved the idea of having my first time on my wedding night. Maybe because I was raised surrounded by fairy tales and books about one true love even when I experienced it first hand that not every love story had a happy ending. 

Maybe because I wanted to prove to myself that a love like in the books and movies could happen. 

“Okay,” Morgana said as she took in a deep breath. “Alright. Fine. You have my blessing.”

I snapped my gaze at her, letting that sink in my mind before my eyes widened. “Morgana?”

“What?” Morgana said, eyebrows raising. “You didn’t think I was a homophobe, did you?”

There was clear warning in her voice. I didn’t hesitate to hug her as she went staggering and bumping at the desk behind her. She held me and patted me. 

“I’m sorry I kept this away from you,” I said. “I really was going to tell you soon.”

“It’s fine, Merlin,” Morgana said. She pushed me away a bit before she smiled, no longer looking angry or confused. “You’re happier than I have ever seen you be. That’s all that matters to me.” She then turned to look at Arthur, who was smiling at her. “You—Mister—are forgiven too. Unless you were planning on never telling me.”

“Of course I was planning on telling you, ‘Gana,” Arthur said with a roll of his eyes. 

“Good,” Morgana said, her green eyes twinkling. “Right. Okay. Now, I’m not sure who to threaten.”

“Threaten?” I asked. 

“Yeah, the shovel talk or something,” Morgana said. “I guess I’ll give you both the talk.”

“I don’t think that’s necessary—” Arthur was cut off by Morgana’s glare. 

“Arthur, if you ever break Merlin’s heart or even hurt him in any shape or form, I will kick you where the sun doesn’t shine.” Arthur winced at that before he gave her a thumbs up, looking away. “And you, Merlin, don’t go breaking Arthur’s heart either. The same goes to you. If you hurt him in any shape or form, I will—well, let’s just say I will make you work for my forgiveness.”

I gave her a nervous smile. “I won’t, Morgana,” I said. Morgana grinned, chirpy. 

“Great! Now that that’s over,” Morgana said. She then rubbed her face and continued, “Help me!”

I furrowed my eyebrows in worry as I touched her shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

“Will likes me!” she said, eyes snapping wide. “But I don’t like him back! I don’t want to lose him, Merlin. He’s a great friend!”

“You rejected him, right?” I asked. Morgana nodded, her eyes filling up with tears.

“He looked so sad,” Morgana said. “I can now understand how you felt when you rejected Freya.”

“He knows you don’t like him back, Morgana,” I confessed. “He told me he knew but he wanted to confess anyway. I think…we just need to give him some time to heal.”

“God, this sucks,” Morgana said as she stood up straighter. “I never had any qualms rejecting anyone before.”

“It’s different if it’s your friend,” I said, smiling at her. “He’ll be fine, Morgana. I promise. He just needs time, that’s all.”

Morgana nodded, looking solemn. “I think,” she said, wiping her nose. “I need to get drunk.”

“Morgana,” Arthur said. Morgana shook her head. Arthur thinned his lips before he nodded. “Just call me if you need a ride or for anything at all. Don’t drink too much though.”

Morgana gave him a smile before she patted my shoulder and walked away. “I’ll see you two later,” she said. 

I watched her leave before I leaned against the desk. The door clicked closed and I realised that I was alone with Arthur now. I shifted my weight from one foot to the other, looking at the ground as I wrapped my arms around me. 

Arthur walked towards me and touched my face, nudging my chin to look at him. His blue eyes bored into mine before he smiled. “Why do you look like that?” Arthur asked. “Aren’t you supposed to be happy that Morgana accepted us?”

I gave him a weak smile, pulling away from his touch. Arthur frowned, dropping his hands to his sides. “Merlin?”

“I,” I started before I stopped. “I just need you to understand that I rather wait for my wedding night because I grew up with that thought in my head and I would be lying if I said it didn’t make me happy whenever I think about it. So, don’t think that I don’t like you or anything or I don’t find you attractive, I do, it’s just—”

Arthur stopped me with a gentle touch to my jaw. He looked amused and fond. 

My heart skipped a beat at that. 

“I know, Merlin,” Arthur said. “I was just a bit shocked you admitted it, that’s all but I suspected it.”

“We can still snog,” I said. “So…”

Arthur chuckled. “You don’t have to be guilty for wanting different things, Merlin,” Arthur assured. “Just talk to me and make me understand and I will. It’s as simple as that.” He then touched my hip, smiling wider. “Besides, I like that idea a lot. If we last that long, it would be nice to have our first time on our wedding night, yeah?”

I flushed red at that idea. My heart fluttered wildly in my chest and I couldn’t help the smile itching to appear on my lips. “You think we can get married someday?”

Arthur looked intrigued at that. “I’m saying if we last, that’s a possibility I won’t mind.”

I grinned and he tugged me into a hug, burying his fingers in my hair. “Never think I won’t understand,” Arthur said after a second. “I’ll try my best to always listen and understand.”

“Thanks, Arthur,” I whispered against his shoulder, hugging him back. “Thanks for understanding.”

Arthur pulled away before he brushed some of my hair from my forehead. He leaned down and pressed his lips against it. “I didn’t know you liked me since the party,” he said. 

I looked away before shrugging. “I didn’t either until I properly thought about it,” I said. “Does that…bother you?”

“Bother me?” Arthur asked, incredulously. “More like it boosted my ego.”

I snorted. “Of course it did,” I retorted. It earned a poke on my nose that I scrunched my face at. 

“Come on,” Arthur said as he took a step back. “I think we should get back out there and find something to drink. Maybe there’s even something to eat in the fridge.”

“We’re just going to steal food from the fridge?” I asked, blinking. Arthur grinned, sharply. 

“Merlin, it’s a party,” Arthur said as he stepped back once more and turned around. “There’s always going to be risks of things going missing.”

I shook my head, laughing as I followed Arthur out of the room.

 

***

 

I sipped my can of cola, the second for the night as I looked around the room filled with people and the music blaring. I resisted the urge to push my fingers into my ears just so I could give my ears a break. I had lost Arthur the minute we managed to steal some sandwiches that looked good and freshly made from the fridge. Arthur’s other friends who weren’t in the football team came to him and patted his back before they coaxed him to talk to them. 

I simply gave Arthur an assuring smile before I mouthed to him that I would be outside. Arthur was reluctant to leave but at the end, he let his friends drag him away with me waving at him. I sat at the porch steps, looking at the street littered with cars parked at the sidelines. 

I hummed under my breath, eyes flitting from each person, wondering what the rest of my friends were doing. I pulled out my phone and thumbed through the messages before I decided to give Will a call. Like I predicted, Will didn’t answer his phone. 

I ended up texting him if he was alright and pocketed my phone again. 

I didn’t know how long I was out here but I knew I was getting tired. I stood up, thinking of looking for Arthur. I glanced at the opened front door, wincing at the thought of pushing through people to find him. I looked back at the front lawn one last time before I decided to just go through with it. 

I drank all the cola from the can before I clutched it tight on my grip, making a note to throw it in the nearest dustbin to which was actually located at the front door. Tossing the can into the dustbin, I walked further into the house, trying my best not to touch anyone. 

Halfway through my search, I stopped at the same hallway that Morgana found Arthur and I snogging. I blushed and chuckled, walking down the hallway, wondering if Arthur was here. That was when I walked past a closet and heard thumps. 

I stopped and looked at the closet door. I heard a loud thump again and a muffled groan. 

My mind didn’t seem to think that anything was off about the groan or the thumps. All that I thought about was the fact someone must be hurting themselves in there. He or she must have been drunk and stumbled into a closet and didn’t know how to get out. It was possible, I thought. 

When I heard another groan, this time sounding louder than the previous one, I touched the door handle and yanked the door open, ready to help—only for me to quickly slam the door shut with my face reddening and a shocked gasp catching at the back of my throat. 

Minutes passed by and then the door was pushed, causing me to stumble forward a few steps. I turned and looked as a wide-eyed Will come out, lips swollen, hair messed up and his neck littered with bruises and next to Will was—

“Leon, what the hell?” I breathed out, confused and flustered. Leon looked confused as he narrowed his eyes at me before he shook his head and groaned, slowly sliding to the floor to sit. 

“Hey, Merlin,” Will said, looking nervous and unsure. He even looked confused as he looked at Leon and back at me. “What…What’s happening?”

“You two were snogging,” I exclaimed, eyes wide as I stared at them. “You two were in the closet _snogging_ —oh _God_ , why didn’t I think that there could be someone in there obviously snogging?”

Will looked even more confused and then something must have snapped in his head because now he looked pale as he looked at Leon. Leon blinked a few times and when he looked at me, his eyes widened as realisation dawned on him. 

Suddenly, both of them look much sober than before. 

I wanted to laugh at them, hysterically but at the same time, I wanted to shake them both. 

Was this how Morgana felt?

Karma seemed to be giving me a piece of my own medicine. 

“I…I got to go,” Leon mumbled as he stood up and pushed past the both of us, running away. Will furrowed his eyebrows before he ran a hand through his hair, breathing harshly. When he looked at me, it was with tears in his eyes and it scared me when he started to sob. I quickly dragged him into a hug and I slid to the ground, making him hug me properly. 

“Will?” I asked, patting his back. “Will, come on, mate, it’s alright. I’m here.”

Will continued to cry and I let him, rubbing his back up and down. I was getting more and more worried, wondering how Leon and him managed to end up in the closet together, snogging. And the fact that they both looked confused when I found them made me think that maybe they weren’t aware of who they were with. 

“Will?” I whispered in his ear when he seemed to stop crying, instead, just hugging me. “Will?”

“Sorry,” Will croaked as he pulled away, wiping his face. “It just bubbled in me and flowed out.”

“It’s fine,” I assured him, eyebrows furrowing. “What’s going on, Will?”

“I…I don’t know,” Will whispered, sounding upset. “One minute I was sad because Morgana rejected me and the next I found Leon and we began talking and then—then I…we—I don’t know. We ended up in the closet and he was so close and I think I kissed him first but I’m not even gay I—”

“Will, calm down,” I told him when he looked close to hyperventilating. “Calm down, yeah? Take a deep breath.”

Will did what I told him to do but he still looked pale. “I’m so confused,” Will said. “I want to go home. I can’t talk about this now. I want to go home.”

“Okay, okay,” I told him as I stood up, helping him up to his feet. “Let’s find Arthur and we’ll go back, okay?”

“Yeah,” Will said. I wrapped an arm around his shoulders, unsure of where to look for the blond. Just as I was about to ask Will to stay here while I went on a hunting spree for him, my phone rang. I breathed out in relief when I realised it was Arthur calling. 

“I found Morgana,” Arthur said once I answered. “She wants to go home. So, if you want, we can leave.”

“Yes, let’s,” I said. “I’ll meet you at the porch.”

“Right, see you then,” Arthur said. 

I tugged Will and we walked to the front porch where Arthur was already trying to keep a drunk Morgana from falling down with how terribly she was swaying. Arthur looked at Will before he looked at me, his eyebrows furrowed. 

“He’s,” I started and I shook his head. “Later.”

Arthur nodded before we brought them both to the car. Morgana fell asleep the minute she was sprawled at the backseat meanwhile Will looked at the windows, looking more and more confused as Arthur drove. When I looked at Arthur, he was looking at the rearview mirror, a frown on his face. I touched his shoulder and sighed.

 

***

 

Will refused to meet with anyone during the weekends, so the best course of action was to give him some time to collect his thoughts. He was doing better when I saw him the following Monday. Will was waiting for me, leaning against my locker as he played with the hem of his jacket. 

“Hey, Will,” I said. Will jolted a bit before he looked at me, giving me a smile. 

“Hey, Merlin,” he said. He didn’t say anything else as I opened my locker door and pushed my bag inside, picking out the books I needed for class. At last he said, “I’m sorry I didn’t want to see you the past two days.”

I gave him a grin, making him relax as I closed the locker door. “It’s fine, Will,” I said. “I’m still here for you.”

Will chuckled at that before he nodded, rubbing the back of his neck. “I think I’m ready to talk.”

I hummed, nudging Will as we began to walk. “So, speak.”

“Uhm,” Will said. “I’m not sure…where to start?”

I licked my lips, furrowing my eyebrows, trying to decide how to make this easier for him. “Maybe I could ask you questions and you try answering them?” I suggested. 

Will nodded after a moment of consideration. “Alright,” he said. 

“So,” I said, deciding to work my way up to the questions pertaining Leon. “How do you feel after what happened with Morgana?”

“Oh,” Will said, sounding a bit surprised. I gave him a knowing smile to which he laughed at. “Well,” he said after a minute of silence. “I still like her but—maybe because I was already prepared to get rejected, I didn’t feel much? And maybe because I know she doesn’t like me like that, I don’t feel as hurt as I thought I would. Instead, I feel much better now? Like…I can look at her and not hurt anymore.”

I sighed in relief at that. I patted his shoulder. “Did you talk to her since that night?”

“Ah, yeah,” Will said, rubbing the back of his neck. “We texted yesterday night and I think we’re good. She feels guilty about hurting me but I think we’re fine.”

“That’s good, mate,” I said. “That’s really good. So, you’re feeling better about it then?”

“Yeah, I’m feeling better about it,” Will said, smiling. 

I cleared my throat as I tried to phrase the next question in my head a few times so it wouldn’t come out awful. At the end, I went with, “How do you feel about Leon?”

Will stilled for a second before he shrugged, a frown on his face. “I had a lot of time to think about that in the past two days,” Will said before he sighed, shakily. “I can still feel his lips on me. It…It was nice, Merlin.”

I nodded. “You liked kissing him, then?”

“Yeah, maybe?” Will said, shaking his head. “I mean, it could be because I was buzzed. So, I don’t really know how much I liked kissing him but…”

“Do you want to kiss him now?” I asked. “If you saw Leon again, would you want to kiss him?”

Will blushed red, looking uncomfortable. “I…find myself wondering how his lips would feel when I’m sober,” Will admitted, his voice quiet. “But then it brings me to the problem that all my life, I thought I was straight. Hell, I still like Morgana even if it’s easier to move on now. What does it say about me that I find myself wanting him to kiss me again?”

I let that sink in my mind for a bit. “Do you think he could be a rebound?”

Will looked stricken at that idea. “No,” he said. “I’m…I’m confused about him, yeah but no, I think it’s a separate thing, what I’m feeling for him. It’s just so new and…it hit me out of nowhere. I…guess—if anyone is a rebound, it’s probably him using me as a rebound.”

I frowned. That could be a problem. That was also a possibility. 

“I think you should talk to him,” I told Will. Will nodded. 

“I know,” he said as he licked his lips. “I’m just nervous to see him again.”

“How do you feel when you look at him?” I asked.

“I feel nothing,” Will confessed. “But that night, I still remember feeling my heart racing in my chest and I found it hard to breathe when he was close to me.”

“You should talk to him,” I said. 

“I will,” Will said, looking a bit better than before. “I will. I just need to see him again and see what I want to do.”

“Alright,” I said. “Like I said, I’m h—”

“Here for me,” Will said, grinning. “I know, Merlin.”

“I just worry about you, that’s all,” I said. Will looked pleased at that as he swung his arm across my shoulders. 

“Thanks, mate.”

 

***

 

“Has something happened?” Mum asked during dinner. I shoved a forkful of mashed potato into my mouth as I frowned. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. Mum hummed, eyeing me from across the table. 

“It’s just,” Mum said. “You look very happy lately.”

“And…that’s a problem because?” I asked, confused. 

“Nothing’s wrong with it, love,” Mum said, chuckling. “It’s just that you daze off at times or sometimes even smile for no reason. I’m just wondering if something’s happened lately, that’s all.”

I flushed, realising that Mum had an inkling to why I was like that. I cleared my throat and looked at my plate. 

“And you have a theory,” I stated. 

“I think I know why,” Mum said. I flinched at that. “Merlin, do you have a girlfriend?”

I bit my bottom lip, panic starting to thrum in my veins. I realised with clarity that I had to tell her about this. I had to tell her that I was bisexual. That I had a boyfriend. I had to tell her this. I didn’t know how to though and when I glanced at her, it was obvious she wouldn’t let me go until she pried the truth out of me. 

That made me pale as I gripped my fork tight. I hunched my shoulders inwards and blinked back the tears in my eyes. What if she didn’t accept me? What would happen to me then? My Mum was my whole entire world. I never wanted to upset her. 

What if I disappointed her?

“Merlin?” Mum said, her voice soft. “What is it, love?”

I took in a shaky breath and shook my head. I dropped the fork on the plate and pushed it away a bit. I looked at her and her eyes widened when she took in my face. 

“Merlin?” she whispered, shocked. “Why are you crying?”

“Mum,” I croaked. “I…I don’t know how to tell you this? I’m scared you’ll hate me.”

“Merlin,” she said, sounding nervous. “Why would I hate you?”

“Because…because,” I said, trying to push the words out of my mouth. “Mum, I need to tell you something.”

Mum nodded, looking serious. “Alright,” she said. “What is it?”

“I…Don’t get mad, please,” I said. “I don’t want you to be angry at me.”

Mum’s face softened. “Love,” she said as she touched my hand. “Why would I be angry, love? You never made me angry.”

I winced at that as I pulled my hand from her grip. She furrowed her eyebrows. “You will,” I whispered. 

“Merlin,” she said. 

“I…,” I started and then stopped. I closed my eyes before I cleared my head and blurted out, “It’s a boyfriend.”

It was quiet after that. Too quiet. When I opened my eyes, it was to the look of shock on Mum’s face. 

“Mum?” I whispered. 

“A…what?” she asked, blinking twice. 

I bit my bottom lip. “Boyfriend,” I said, my voice low. “It’s a boyfriend. Not a girlfriend. I’m bisexual.”

_There_. I said it. 

I clenched my hands into fists and placed them on my lap. I looked at her face as she searched mine. When it was clear I was being serious, she looked at me in disbelief. And then, she morphed her face into blankness and that was when my heart broke. 

“Mum,” I said, voice shaking. “Please say something.”

“I…,” she began. “How…?”

“I,” I said. “I met him and liked him. That’s how.”

“I…see,” she said, sounding stunned. She frowned. “Honey, you’re bisexual? Are you…sure?”

“What…what do you mean?” I asked. 

“I mean,” she said. “It’s just…maybe you’re confused. Maybe you’re just confused about who you are and…”

“Mum,” I said, voice breaking. “I’m not confused. I’m bisexual.”

Mum breathed out then and that was when she started crying. She placed her face in between her hands and her shoulders shook. I quickly scrambled out of my seat and went to kneel next to her chair, hands raising to touch her but I wasn’t sure if if my touch was welcomed. 

“Please don’t hate me,” I whispered. Mum shook her head before she stood up. 

“I need…,” she said and then she walked past me and up the stairs. I was left there, staring at where she had sat and cried. My heart shattered into millions of pieces and I didn’t know what to do. Terrified, I stood up and cleaned the table, my body shaking as I took in harsh breaths. 

I went to my room once I washed the dishes and curled under the sheets, hugging a pillow to my chest as I closed my eyes tight.

 

***

 

A knock to my door pulled me out of the covers, eyes aching and my muscles protesting as I sat up from the curled up position I was in for the past few hours. When I looked at my alarm clock, it was almost one in the morning. The door opened and Mum walked in, wearing her night gown. She looked at me before she smiled weakly, her cheeks puffed up from the tears. 

I felt tears gathering in my eyes again. I made he cry when I vowed to never do that. She walked to my bed and sat down at the edge. Then, she touched my hand and brought it to her lap, caressing my fingers. I watched her before I sniffed. 

“I’m sorry,” I told her then. 

She shook her head before she dragged me into a hug. I cried in her arms as she shushed me, caressing my hair and patted my back. 

“Love, it’s okay,” she said. “Stop crying. I’m not mad. Come on, love.”

“I’m sorry, so sorry,” I choked out. “I made you cry.”

“Don’t apologise,” she said. “You’re going to make me cry again, Merlin if you don’t stop.”

It took me a while to calm down and by the time I was, Mum made me lie on her lap as she caressed my hair. She looked down at me before she smiled, the same smile she always gave me that was filled with love. My heart mended at that as hope bubbled in my chest. 

“You don’t hate me?” I whispered. 

“Stupid,” she said, shaking her head. “I could never hurt my own son, Merlin.”

“But I disappointed you,” I said. 

“You didn’t,” she said, frowning. Then, she sighed. “I…don’t get it. Call me old-fashioned, but it’s a hard pill for me to swallow. I don’t understand why someone has to be gay or bisexual. But I think I’m fine with it. Merlin, love, I’m alright with it, okay? You’re not a disappointment, you’re not going to be thrown out the streets. You’re my son and I love my son however and whoever he is.”

I wanted to cry again but Mum only shushed me again as she wiped the tears away. “It’s going to take me some time to get used to the idea of you liking boys as well,” Mum said, honestly. “But I’ll try my best to get used to it.”

“So…you accept me?” I couldn’t help but to ask.

“Of course,” Mum said. “I’m sorry I left you there in the kitchen like that but I needed some time to think. Forgive me?”

“There’s nothing to forgive, Mum,” I said. “Thanks.”

“You’re welcome,” Mum said with a soft chuckle. “So, you have a…boyfriend?”

She sounded unsure but I nodded. “Yeah.”

“How long have you been with him?” she asked. 

“About a week or so,” I said. She blinked at that.

“Oh,” she said. “Who is it?”

I opened my mouth before I shook my head. She frowned. “I’ll tell you once I talked to him,” I said, smiling. “It’s someone you know, though.”

She hummed under her breath. “How did you find out you liked him?”

And I told her. The entire night, we talked and talked until we were both exhausted. Mum had kissed my forehead, her eyes shimmering in warmth and I smiled at her, just as warm. I was tired the next day at school but it was worth it when I realised with a light heart that that was cleared up. 

That I hadn’t lost Mum.

 

***

 

I walked into a craft shop to buy Mum the extra pages she needed for her scrapbook. When I found them, I didn’t think I would meet with the one person I thought wouldn’t get caught dead working here. She looked at me with her eyes wide before her lips thinned. 

“You,” she said, almost like a greeting. I blinked at her. I hadn’t seen her around after Arthur and her broke up. She looked healthier though. She didn’t have that crazy glint in her eyes the last time I saw her. In fact, she looked—normal. 

“Sophia,” I breathed out. 

“Yeah,” she said, huffing her breath. “Are you going to buy that?”

I looked at the papers in my hands and nodded. She nodded as she went back to restocking some things on the shelves. 

“Are you happy now?” she asked, her voice blank. “That he broke up with me?” 

She wasn’t looking at me though, instead, she was concentrating on arranging the things on the shelves properly. I frowned. 

“What do you mean?” I asked. Sophia snorted, glancing at me before giving me a curt smile. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t know?” Sophia asked with a sigh. “That you liked him? And now you’re Arthur’s new partner?”

I opened my mouth and then I closed it, unsure of how to respond to that. At the end, I said, “How did you know?”

“I do love him, you know,” Sophia said. “I’ve been with him for almost two years. You learn how to read a person when you’ve been with them for that long.”

“Sophia,” I said.

“I’m not mad,” Sophia said. “I _was_. I knew _exactly_ why he broke up with me without even having him to say it and I was angry at you. I had half a mind to march up to you and make you regret ever doing this to me.”

I flinched at the venom in her voice. 

“But,” Sophia said, taking in a deep breath. “They say if you love someone enough, you have to let them go if it makes them happy. So…I did.”

I swallowed at the lump in my throat. 

“I,” I said. “I’m not sure what you want me to say.”

“I’m just saying,” Sophia said as she furrowed her eyebrows and looked at me. “Take what you can get while it lasts, alright?”

“What…do you mean?”

Sophia shook her head. “Did you think he would stay with you forever?” she asked. “He won’t.”

“No,” I said, frowning. “Arthur isn’t like that.”

“He isn’t,” she agreed, easily. “But he’s easily swayed. Look at how easy he was swayed to you.”

I winced at that, feeling doubt trickling in my heart. 

“What I’m trying to say is,” Sophia said as she turned to look at me. “He’s a Pendragon. His whole future is planned from the minute he was born. And when I say his whole future, I meant to the very last detail on who he’ll be spending his future with. And let me tell you with confidence, it _won’t_ be with you.”

I let that sit in my mind as I stared at her, dumbfounded. 

“So, milk it for what its worth while you can,” Sophia said, turning her back to me and went back to her job. “Because when the time comes, he’ll have to leave you and marry the woman his father will set him up with. Because a Pendragon needs an heir. And there can be no heir if he stays with a boy.”

I was left speechless as Sophia walked away from me. I looked to the ground, my hands clutching tight at the papers. I bit my bottom lip. I knew I shouldn’t let what Sophia said get to me but now that she said it, I was beginning to realise that this wasn’t just some random boy I was dating. 

This was a Pendragon. Someone who had connections to the royal family. Someone who had power in their hands in a way no normal man had. This wasn’t just Arthur I was dating. I was dating a _Pendragon_. My heart lurched in my chest, making me painfully aware that she was right. 

My eyes blurred as I took in a shuddering breath. 

Oh God, she was _right_.

 

***

 

Arthur was giving me looks during the entire time we practised. I was out of it most of the time and when I did try to play, it was a mess. During break, Arthur finally snapped and dragged me to the bleachers, making me sit as he sat down next to me. 

“Okay, tell me what’s wrong,” he said. I looked at him before I looked away. My mind was clustered with what Sophia had told me yesterday. How I had only a limited time with him and I wasn’t about to get my happy ending after all. 

I clenched my jaw. 

“Merlin,” Arthur said, touching my shoulder. “What’s wrong?”

I sighed, rubbing my face. “I told Mum about us,” I said, deciding to go with that first before I told Arthur about what Sophia said. Arthur had grown silent before he yelped. 

“What?” he asked, his eyes wide. 

I glanced at him before snorting, amused at the look on his face. “I came out to her. She knew that I had someone and…I couldn’t lie to her. So, I told her that I have a boyfriend.”

“Oh God,” Arthur said, looking a bit panicked. “Oh God. How…how did she take it?”

“She was surprised and confused,” I said. “She cried.”

Arthur looked upset at that. “Are you okay?”

“Yeah, yeah,” I said, smiling. “She accepted me, don’t worry about it. I just wanted to tell you that she knows I have a boyfriend. I haven’t told her who it is but she knows about the general idea of you.”

Arthur looked relieved before he grew pale. “Ah…,” he said. “I have to meet your mother, don’t I?”

I chuckled. “If you want to.”

“What? Of course I want to,” Arthur said, furrowing his eyebrows. “Why wouldn’t I?”

I bit my bottom lip before I let it go. “It’s just…I don’t know.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, smiling. “I want to meet your mother—properly as your boyfriend, alright?”

I felt my heart fluttering at that and I attempted to give him a smile only for me to frown when I remembered what Sophia said. “Right,” I said. Arthur looked discouraged at my response.

“Don’t you… _want_ me to meet your mother?” he asked.

“Of course I do!” I said. “No, that isn’t what’s bothering me.”

Arthur licked his lips as he nudged my shoulder. “Then, what is it?”

I took in a deep breath before I turned to look at him properly. “I met Sophia yesterday. She was working at this craft shop.”

Arthur searched my face before he nodded. “Okay,” he said, sounding confused. “What happened?”

“She,” I said and then stopped, my heart weighing a thousand pounds and sinking to the bottom of my stomach. I hadn’t realised I had tears in my eyes until Arthur touched my face. He looked worried. 

“You’re about to cry,” he said. “Merlin, what’s wrong?”

“She said we won’t last,” I blurted out. “She said your father will probably have planned you to marry some woman to have heirs with. And so, rationally, we won’t be together for long.”

Arthur dropped his hand as his lips thinned. He sighed before he ran his hand through his hair. “I,” he started before he nodded. “That’s…true.”

“Arthur,” I said, shocked. 

“No, I mean,” Arthur amended. “I meant, true as if in it’s possible my father has even planned out who I should marry. But…Merlin, come on. Do you think I’ll really marry some woman my father set me up with?”

I looked at him properly before I shrugged. “What if he asked you to?” I asked. “You always don’t want to disappoint him. I…What if—”

He touched my face then and cradled my jaw. “I won’t,” Arthur said. “Not…not this time. I’m…I’m done with him. Merlin, if it’s possible, for as long as I can, I will stay with you.”

My eyes watered again. “He won’t approve of us,” I choked out. “What happens when he finds out? God, Arthur, maybe we shouldn’t have done this. Maybe I shouldn’t have—”

And that was when he kissed me. In public. I froze for a second, wondering if I should push away but then Arthur coaxed me into kissing him back, I let go. I closed my eyes and felt him against me. When he pulled away, he had determination in his eyes.

“Don’t you dare say you regret this,” he said, harshly. I licked my lips and sighed. He touched my face again and wiped the tears off my face with his thumbs. “I’ll…I’ll find a way to deal with him. As long as you don’t run away from me, I feel like we can make it.”

I realised that he was serious when he stared right into my eyes. My heart swelled at that. “I don’t want you to lose the only family you have because of me.”

“He’s…,” Arthur said and shook his head. “He’s never acted much like a family anyway. If anything, Merlin, Morgana is my family and she accepted us so. Don’t…don’t do this.”

I nodded then and he hugged me tight. I hugged him back, burying my face against his shoulder. “We’re being public,” I murmured against him. He only tightened his hold on me. 

“I don’t care anymore,” Arthur mumbled against my hair before he kissed the tip of my ear. “It’ll be fine as long as you stay by my side.”

I nodded against him. My heart beat loudly against my chest. “Okay,” I said. “Okay, I’ll stay by your side.”

Arthur didn’t say anything else as he held me like that. I closed my eyes and let myself get lost in his warmth. 

I still couldn’t shake off the feeling that despite Arthur’s assurances, something didn’t feel right. 

 

 


	22. He Who Shall Not Be Named

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: Welllp, I admit, I got distracted while writing this chapter. I hope it's still as good as the previous ones~ Thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys think and until the next chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

I knew it was bound to happen, especially when we kissed in public. The rumours started to spread like wildfire and there was nothing I could do about it. People began talking, some were shocked, others were mildly disturbed but most were just wondering how a Pendragon became bent. 

“So, you two are dating?” Lancelot asked. I sighed as I sunk into Arthur’s sofa, the said person was sipping a can of soda, nodding, unaffected by our friends staring right at us like they were seeing aliens for the first time. I was fidgeting, nervous under their gazes. 

“Wow,” Percival said with a whistle as he sat on the floor. “Didn’t see that coming.”

Gwen looked contemplative. 

We were currently at Arthur’s place. After practise yesterday where Arthur kissed me in public, the football team had grown chaotic with the members crowding us, asking questions as to why Arthur was kissing me. Arthur had simply smiled at me before he said, ‘We’re dating’ without any second thought. 

That stunned everyone before they congratulated us. It seemed like almost everyone was relieved that Arthur had left Sophia. I should feel bad but I was mostly too overwhelmed with the pats at my back and with the leers on their faces to do so. It was a confusing and interesting experience. 

Then, today, the rumours started. And by the time school was over, I was exhausted from trying not to jump at every laughter and every voice, feeling like there were millions of eyes on me, judging me. 

“You’re kidding, right?” Gwaine snorted as he walked into the living room, a can of soda in his hands as he sat next to Percival. “I’ve known about it for months before those two got together.”

Percival looked surprised at that. 

“We must’ve looked so dumb for not noticing it,” Lancelot breathed out, a frown on his face. Gwen hummed as she interlaced her fingers with Lancelot’s. I gave Lancelot a weak smile.

“No,” I disagreed. “We just didn’t flaunt it, that’s all. We were planning on saying something.”

“I remember you confessing to me first,” Will said as he sat against the couch near my leg. He tilted his head back to look at me and grinned. “You were panicking about liking Pendragon there.”

“Oi,” I kicked him and he laughed. Arthur looked amused, his eyes twinkling and his eyebrows raised in a knowing look. I made sure not to look at him as my face steadily turned red. “See if I’m ever telling you anything again!”

Will chuckled. 

“I didn’t think you were gay, mate,” Lancelot said, looking at Arthur. Arthur shrugged. 

“I’m not,” he said. “I only like Merlin. I’m not sure why, but that’s what I think I’m going to go with.”

Lancelot furrowed his eyebrows, looking confused but he nodded anyway. “Right,” he said. “Anyway, as long as you are both happy,” Lancelot said.

Arthur grinned. 

The doorbell rang then, startling everyone into silence. Morgana stood up and patted her thighs. 

“I think it’s Leon,” Morgana said as she walked past us to get to the door. Arthur and Will tensed at the same time. Half of me wanted to snort at Arthur’s reaction while the other half of me wanted to pat Will on the head in sympathy. 

“Yeah, he said he was going to be a bit late,” Lancelot said. 

Morgana walked back into the living room and in tow was Leon, hands in his jeans pockets and a wary smile on his face. I noticed that he absolutely refused to look at Will, instead, looking at everyone including me and then decided to sit next to Gwaine, as far as he could from Will. 

I looked at Will and saw him looking away as well, not bothering to greet Leon. 

I sighed internally. 

“You made it,” Percival said with a pat on Leon’s back. 

“Sorry, I had some things to do before I can come over,” Leon said before he looked at Arthur. “I hope you don’t mind me being here.”

I glanced at Arthur and gave him a look when he opened his mouth. “No, you’re our friend now, so,” Arthur said, clearing his throat. I blinked at that before I smiled, proud of Arthur for being the bigger person for once. “Besides, I’m dating Merlin now. So, you’re no longer a threat.”

“Arthur!” I exclaimed, shocked at that. Lancelot coughed, hiding a smile meanwhile Gwaine looked at us with amusement in his eyes. Leon simply rolled his eyes, grinning at Arthur. Arthur wrapped an arm around my chest and dragged me close. I flailed a bit, almost knocking his can out of his hand as I was pulled to lean against his chest. I huffed and blushed when he pressed his chin on my head. “And I thought for once you would act your age.”

“Merlin,” Morgana said. “You’re dating Arthur. Mature isn’t in his vocabulary.”

“Hey,” Arthur said, amused even though he wasn’t denying it. 

“So, this is why everyone is gathered here,” Leon mused. “To talk about the rumours.”

“You heard them too?” Morgana asked. “God, it’s so annoying.”

“I heard them too,” Gwen said. “Some were wondering why Merlin broke up with Morgana and ended up with Arthur.”

“Because I’m the better one among the two of us, obviously,” Arthur said. Morgana squawked and threw a pillow at his face. I let that sink in my head before I frowned.

“Wait, people thought I was dating Morgana?” I asked. Gwen nodded. 

“Mate,” Gwaine said. “When I first met you, I thought you were dating Morgana too.”

“Arthur thought so too,” Lancelot pitched in. 

“Oh, so that’s why you would try and interrogate me about Merlin after school for the past few days since you met him,” Morgana said. Arthur had gone still for a second. 

“Well,” Arthur said, sounding embarrassed. I made a face at that.

“Do we look that good together?” I mused. I felt the arm around my chest tightening. 

“Don’t you dare,” Arthur said, his voice whispered against my ear, sending shudders down my spine. I bit my bottom lip. 

“Can we not see that?” Lancelot said. “Arthur, get away from him before you get on top of him or something.”

“Yeah, you look like you’re ready to push him on the couch—”

Mercifully, Percival had shoved a crisp into Gwaine’s mouth before he could continue. I managed to pry Arthur’s arm off my chest and scooted to the other side of the couch, my entire face to the bottom of my neck dyed red. Arthur groaned and flopped on the couch. 

“Look at what you lot did,” Arthur groused. “He ran away.”

“This is so sickening to watch,” Morgana mumbled.

I looked at Will then and saw him sitting there quietly, staring at his hands. I glanced at Leon and he was looking at Will, his eyes shimmering in something akin to guilt and something else. When Leon looked at me, he blushed and smiled weakly. I smiled back. I touched Will’s head, causing him to look at me with a confused look. 

“Want to raid Arthur’s kitchen with me?” I asked. Will furrowed his eyebrows before he nodded, looking grateful for the distraction. I stood up, earning looks at me. “What?” I demanded.

“Where are you going?” Arthur asked. 

“To the kitchen,” I said with a huff. “Why?”

“Cola, please?” Arthur said, eyes wide. I rolled my eyes.

“One day, you’re going to get diabetes and die from it and I’ll be laughing at your funeral singing ‘I told you so’,” I said. Arthur grinned, not looking the slightest regretful or frightened at that. 

Will stood up as well and we both hurried to the kitchen. Within seconds, the conversation in the living room continued. Will hovered at the counter before he sighed, leaning against it. I opened the fridge and took out two cans of cola.

“So,” I said. “You still haven’t talked to him.”

“I tried,” Will said, sounding frustrated. “I tried, so many times. He keeps on ignoring me. He…”

“He?” I asked as I stood straighter, leaning against the fridge. 

“He said we should forget it happened,” Will said, a frown on his face. “He said it didn’t mean anything.”

“He did?” I asked, sounding surprised. Will nodded. I licked my lips in contemplation before I said, “And…this upsets you?”

Will looked at me. “Yes, Merlin,” he said. “This upsets me.”

“Why?” I asked. Will stilled before he looked away. “Will?”

“I don’t know, okay?” Will said, sounding miserable. “I don’t know. It’s just—it’s his fault! He…”

I took a step towards him before I touched his shoulder. “What happened, Will?”

Will sighed, rubbing his face. “I started looking at him differently,” he admitted. “I started to see him differently. I started thinking about him differently. I…I think I’m starting to see him like how you see Arthur.”

“Oh, Will,” I said, dragging him into a hug. 

“Not again,” Will murmured. “I just got rejected by one unrequited love, do I really need another one? A boy nevertheless?”

“You know you can’t stop these things,” I told him. 

“I’m so goddamn angry at him,” Will said as he pulled away, wiping his eyes. I hadn’t even realised he had tears in his eyes. “He just tells to my face that he thought it would best if we forgot about it like he hadn’t turned my entire world upside down. And now, he’s casually sitting there not even looking at me.”

“He looks at you, Will,” I told him. Will looked at me, confused. 

“No, he doesn’t.”

“He does,” I insisted. “When you’re not looking.”

Will scoffed. “He’s a coward,” Will groused, bitterly. “I’m the straight one here—or I was. I’m the one who’s supposed to be rejecting him. I’m the one who’s supposed to be the unattainable. He should be the one…Why do these things never go my way?”

I didn’t know what to say to that. Instead, all I could give him was an assuring smile. “You still have a lot to think about, don’t you?” I said.

“A lot,” he agreed. “And…I don’t know what I’m going to do if at the end I come to the conclusion that I…”

“You like him?” I completed the train of thought for him, watching him wince. I feel a flare of protectiveness over him when his shoulders hunched in. For a second, I entertained the idea of dragging Leon in here and make them settle this right there and then. But Will wouldn’t want that. And I knew it wasn’t Leon’s fault either. 

I rubbed the back of my neck. “Do you want to stay here?” I asked. 

“Honestly?” Will said. “I just want to leave.”

“Okay,” I told him. “Do you want me to come with you? We could go hang out together.”

Will shook his head. “I just want to go home,” Will said. “I think if I stayed there any longer, I’m going to throw something at his face.”

I cracked a grin at that. Will was chuckling a bit. “Go then,” I told him. “Call me tonight.”

“Yeah, I will,” Will said. He went to the living room with me before he said, “I’m gonna go now, guys.”

Morgana frowned and stood up. “Why? We just got here.”

“I, uh,” Will said. “I have some things to do.”

Morgana didn’t look convinced. “Okay,” she said. “Let me just walk you out.”

“No, it’s fine,” Will said. With a wave at everyone, he left, glancing at Leon who was looking at him, slightly alarmed. Morgana didn’t hesitate to follow him though. When I looked at him, Leon had an unreadable look on his face as he stared at Morgana and Will disappearing from his view. His hands clenched into fists but he didn’t do anything but look away to the ground. 

I felt Arthur touching my jaw with his fingers and I looked at him. He had a question in his eyes that I smiled weakly at. 

“Later,” I whispered to him. Arthur nodded, confused but understanding. He draped his arm across my shoulders and tugged me close. A few minutes later, Morgana came back, looking more unconvinced than she had been. She looked at me before her green eyes sharpened into a question that I sighed at. 

She didn’t question me though, thankfully. 

I hoped Will was fine.

 

***

 

“He what?” Arthur asked as he closed the front door once everyone left. I nodded, crossing my arms against my chest, following Arthur to the kitchen. “So, Leon…and Will?”

“I think Will likes him,” I said, frowning. “Or at least fancies him.”

Arthur hummed as he threw his two empty cans of cola in the trash bin before he turned to look at me, leaning against the counter. 

“And Leon told him to forget about it?” he clarified and I nodded. “Ouch.”

I sighed. “What am I going to do?” I said. “I don’t want to see Will sad, Arthur.”

Arthur looked at me before he gestured me to stand in front of him. I rolled my eyes and did just that, breath catching in my throat when he placed a hand on my hip and the other cupped my cheek. “You know there’s nothing you can do,” Arthur said, caressing my skin with his thumb. 

“I…I know,” I said, defeated. He nudged my chin and kissed my forehead. 

“They’ll figure it out,” he said. 

“I hope so,” I said. 

“Now,” Arthur said. “What about meeting your mother?”

“Oh,” I said, smiling at him. “You’re eager to meet Mum. Though, to remind you, you already met her a few times.”

“Yes,” Arthur said. “But not as your boyfriend.”

I chuckled, my heart fluttering in my chest at that. I touched his shoulder before shrugging. “I have to ask her,” I told him. 

“Do that,” Arthur said. “Also, you should probably tell her who your boyfriend is.”

I hummed. “I will,” I said. Arthur leaned in and kissed me, dragging me closer until I was standing in between his legs. I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him back, pulling away a minute later to hug him. Arthur hugged me tight, burying his face against my shoulder.

 

***

 

I hovered around the kitchen while Mum was cooking, humming under her breath. She glanced at me a few times but I knew she was waiting for me to say something. 

At last, I cracked under the pressure. “Mum, it’s Arthur.”

Mum stopped cutting the vegetables and turned to look at me, her eyes wide. “Arthur?” she said before her face lit up in realisation. “Oh! The boyfriend! It’s Arthur?”

“Uh, yeah,” I said, giving her a nervous smile. “I told him about how you knew about us. And…he asked me when he should meet you.”

“Eager young man, isn’t he?” Mum said, her eyes twinkling in amusement. “Well, Arthur is a nice boy.”

I sighed in relief. “Yeah, he is,” I said. Mum then frowned. 

“Wait, that day when you were crying about the argument you had with Arthur,” Mum said. I panicked a bit at the look on her face.

“Ah, I…confessed to him,” I told her. “Please don’t use that against him! He was confused and unsure of how to react and I was sensitive and angry. He’s really nice, I promise.”

“Merlin,” Mum said cutting me off. “I get it, love. As long as he treats you right.”

I sagged my shoulders and nodded. “He does, Mum,” I said. 

“Good,” Mum said. “Anyway, I’m thinking maybe he can come over for dinner?”

“Oh, yeah, that’ll be good,” I told her. Mum nodded before she smiled. 

“Tell him that I need to be impressed with him to allow my son continue dating him,” Mum teased. I reddened, flustered. “Aw, my son is so cute when he’s shy.”

“Mum!” I said, grinning. “I’ll tell him. When do you want him to come over?”

“How about this week? Maybe on Saturday night? It’ll be after the final match of the season, wouldn’t it?” she said. I nodded. 

“That sounds good,” I told her. “Alright, I’ll let him know.”

“Great!” she said, chuckling. “Now, do you want green peppers or red peppers in the soup?”

 

***

 

Today was the last day of practise before the game tomorrow. Coach was checking up on us, clipboard in his hands while everyone ran laps and started practising their defences. I was trying my best, knowing that I wanted this to go well. 

I glanced at Arthur and made note to tell him about the dinner plans soon. Mum seemed excited on meeting him. I wondered how he would react if I told him that Mum wanted him to impress her. I could imagine the panicked look on his face. It made me smile. 

I didn’t even realise until it was too late that someone was shouting to get my attention. I looked to my right and before I knew it, a ball hit my chest, causing me to stumble backwards at the impact and land on my elbows while I was trying to catch myself from the fall. I screamed in pain, hearing a distinct crack coming from my left arm. 

I curled into a ball and touched my injured arm, tears gathering in my eyes as the pain shot down my body like poison. There were murmurs and people crowding me. Coach had rushed over and kneeled in front of me, eyes wide in worry. 

“Emrys,” he said and tried to touch me. I whimpered in pain and he gently pushed me on my back. I yelped in pain again when he touched my left arm. “Okay, okay, nurse’s office.”

It hurt a lot and I couldn’t breathe through the pain. It felt like my arm was about to break in half at the slightest movements. I was brought to sit up slowly, a hand supporting my back. Arthur crouched on the other side of me, looking even more worried than Coach was. 

“Nurse’s office,” Coach said, looking at Arthur. Lancelot had rushed to help as well as they helped me to stand. It was a blurry motion of pain and staggering steps with my eyes filling with tears and by the time I made it to the nurse’s office, I was close to hyperventilating. 

Nurse Ember had rushed to my side the minute she looked at me. “Oh dear, oh dear,” she said as she brought me to an empty bed, making me sit. “You my child are prone to injuries, oh dear.”

“Nurse Ember,” Lancelot said. “Help him.”

“Yes, yes, of course, dear,” she said and she checked me over. At the end, she winced when she touched my elbow. I took in a shuddery breaths, shaking in pain. Arthur touched my shoulder, his grip grounding me. “I think you need to go to the hospital, love. You need to get this X-rayed at least. I’m suspecting you cracked your forearm but I’m not too sure without an X-ray scan.”

“We have to call Hunith,” Arthur said and Nurse Ember nodded. 

“Yes, yes,” she said as she rushed to her desk. Arthur ran his fingers through my hair and patted my head. He was telling me things to calm me down but I wasn’t listening. I was focusing all my energy to keep myself from crying or whimpering from the pain. My whole body ached. I just wanted to go home now. 

Before I knew it, Mum rushed into the office and she brought me to the hospital. It was all a haze after that and it was almost dinner time by the time the doctor declared that I had indeed fractured a bone in my arm and it needed to be in cast for a few weeks while it healed. 

My heart sank as I realised what this meant. 

“No football,” I said when I saw my friends waiting for me by the time I reached home, crowding my front porch. Mum looked relieved that it wasn’t anything worse and she was even more relieved to see my friends. 

Morgana had taken a step towards my casted left arm and sighed. “Well, on the bright side,” she said, smiling. “You can rest.”

“Woo,” I said, earning chuckles from my friends as I allowed them in my house. 

“Are you all staying for dinner?” Mum asked. “I’m afraid I’ll just have to order takeouts.”

“Sure,” Lancelot said. “Thanks, Mrs Emrys.”

“Hunith please,” Mum said, her eyes twinkling. “Any friend of Merlin is welcomed to call me Hunith.”

Lancelot smiled as he nodded. Arthur hovered at the front door once the rest of them crowded the living room. He looked at the arm and then he looked at me, his blue eyes filled with worry. He took a small step towards me before he gently grazed his fingers down my face. I smiled. 

“Are you feeling alright?” he asked. “You were shaking badly back at the nurse’s office.”

“I’m fine,” I said, wishing I could hug him without my bandaged arm in the way. “I was in a lot of pain but I’m alright now. The painkiller is making things numb for me.”

Arthur frowned at that. “Do you feel dizzy?”

“No,” I told him. “I might get tired easily though so.”

Arthur smiled, taking another cautious step forward before he pushed some of my hair off my forehead. “I was so scared,” he told me, there was a weird look in his eyes that sent my heart racing. 

“Sorry,” I said. “Sorry for scaring you.”

Arthur shook his head. “It wasn’t your fault,” Arthur said. “Liam got a reprimanding.”

“Oh God,” I breathed out, shaking my head. “Poor guy. I’m sure it was an accident.”

“It was,” Arthur agreed. “But still, he could have aimed properly.”

“I should have been paying attention,” I said, looking away. “How many more times am I going to get hurt, I wonder, playing footie.”

Arthur chuckled before I felt his lips on my forehead. “Hopefully no more since we’re done with footie after tomorrow.”

“Oh thank God,” I said, earning another chuckle. Then, I remembered the reason I was distracted and looked at him with a nervous look. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows at that. “Well, the reason I wasn’t paying much attention was because—”

“Oh, is that Arthur?” Mum said as she came out of the kitchen, her hands on her hips. Arthur froze and took a sharp step back, his hands falling to his side. He looked pale before he cleared his throat and smiled at Mum. 

“Hello,” Arthur said. Mum smiled at him before she looked at me. Then, she gestured us both into the kitchen. Arthur glanced at me worriedly but I only touched his arm with my unhurt hand. 

“Come on, she won’t bite your head off,” I teased. Arthur huffed out a breath. 

“Easy for you to say,” Arthur mumbled as he walked into the kitchen. 

Mum was taking out the takeout menus from the drawer before she gave them to me. “Why don’t you go give this to your friends and let me have a chat with your boyfriend here for a minute, hm?”

“Mum,” I said, taking the menus but clearly not falling for the attempt of distraction. 

“I won’t be hard on him,” Mum assured. Arthur had a brave face on but it was clear he wanted nothing more but to make me stay from the way his eyes flashed when it met mine. I sighed, realising that there wasn’t anything I could do for him. I simply patted his shoulder, watching in amusement at the blatant betrayal in his eyes and walked to the living room. 

“Here are the menus,” I said placing them on the coffee table as I sat on the couch. Lancelot took one before he nudged Gwen to look at it with him. 

“What are we having?” Morgana asked. Then, a second later she added, “Where did Arthur go?”

“In the kitchen,” I replied. “With Mum.”

Will snorted. “Good luck,” he said. 

I chuckled. “Anyway, choose a restaurant, guys,” I said. 

It took about five minutes for them to agree on Indian and at that, choosing what they wanted before Leon nervously added, “Wouldn’t all of this cost a fortune if your mother paid? Maybe we should pay for our own food.”

Everyone agreed and I smiled at Leon gratefully. I glanced at Will and noticed that he still wasn’t looking at Leon, preferring to look at the menu. 

Arthur finally joined us, sighing as he sat next to me, taking care not to jostle me too much. 

“So, how did the interrogation go?” Morgana quipped, earning Gwaine’s chuckle. 

“It went…fine,” Arthur said, slowly. I raised my eyebrows at that. Mum soon walked in, grinning. 

“So, have everyone decided?” she asked. 

“Yeah,” Percival said. “We’ll also be paying for our own meals, Mrs E—Hunith.” 

Mum looked like she wanted to protest but when everyone seemed adamant on paying, she gave in, sighing with a fond smile on her face. She then took the menus back and noted down what everyone wanted. She caught my eyes before she winked and walked out to order. I blinked, dumbfounded. 

“What did Mum say?” I asked Arthur. 

“She…just told me not to break your heart,” Arthur murmured to me, a soft look on his face. “And I told her I won’t.”

“That’s all?” I said and Arthur nodded. 

“That’s all,” he said. I narrowed my eyes at him but he simply changed the subject. I decided that maybe that was all after all and left it at that. 

“Oh yeah,” I said after a minute. “Mum wanted to have dinner with you this Saturday night. But…I guess since you already met her…”

“I’ll still love to come,” Arthur said. “If it’s on.”

“I’ll ask her later and confirm it to you tomorrow,” I said. Arthur nodded.

“You’re coming to the game, right?” he asked.

I nodded, patting his shoulder with a grin. “I wouldn’t miss it.” That earned me a peck on my cheek.

 

***

 

“We won!” Gwaine hollered. I laughed, shaking my head as I followed them out of the stadium. Parents were already leaving and so did some of the players. The entire season ended with a win for our team, the trophy held high by my team members and Coach grinning at the sidelines. Even though I couldn’t play, it was nice to see them do everything they could to finally get that trophy. 

Arthur had to stay back to talk to Coach, so I followed Gwaine, Percival and Leon out. Lancelot had gone off to look for Gwen after talking to us for five minutes. I rolled my eyes at him as he walked away. 

“Congratulations, guys,” I told them. Percival nodded with a relieved smile on his face. 

“It was worth it,” Percival said. “All the practise sessions.”

“It was,” I agreed. “You were awesome out there.”

“Wish we could have played it with you, mate,” Gwaine said. 

I smiled ruefully at them. “Ah, well, sorry,” I said and Percival shook his head. 

“No, don’t apologise,” Percival said. “Come on, we should celebrate.”

“Maybe we can crash a party,” Gwaine said, Percival sighed and shook his head.

“No,” Percival said as he touched Gwaine’s arm. “No more parties for you.”

Gwaine opened his mouth and closed it once Percival gave him a look. “Whatever,” Gwaine huffed. 

“Guys,” Will said as he came out of the stadium, grinning. “You lot were awesome.”

“Thanks,” Gwaine said. I then realised that Leon had been quiet all this while. I looked at him and he was looking at Will. 

“So, we’re going to go celebrate,” Gwaine said. 

“Oh, I’ll ask Morgana—”

“Can I talk to you?” Leon said as he voiced out for the first time since we came out of the stadium. Will stopped talking and looked at him, his smile fading and his eyes turning blank. 

Will only rolled his eyes. He looked away from him, ready to turn around. “I’m going to ask Morgana to join us. I think Gwen is with Lancelot so, maybe they won’t be joining us tonight,” Will said as he tried to walk away, only to be halted when Leon grabbed his elbow. Will froze at the touch before he turned to look at Leon, pulling his elbow away. 

“What?” Will asked, his voice flat.

“I want to talk to you,” Leon said. 

“Well, you had the chance,” Will said. “Too late now.”

“Will,” Leon said. 

“No, you don’t get to do this to me,” Will said. “We’re not doing this. You wanted to forget, so there. It’s done. I was the one who chased after you to talk and—”

“I thought you still liked Morgana,” Leon said, cutting him off. “Alright? You liked her. I didn’t…And I was…Can we talk, please?”

Will thinned his lips, searching his face before he sighed. “Fine,” he said. “Let’s…go.”

“So, you two won’t be joining us?” Gwaine asked.

I watched Leon dragging Will away, not even bothering to answer him. I bit my bottom lip, hoping that everything would turn out fine. 

“Fine then,” Gwaine said. “Don’t answer me.”

“Come on,” I told them. “Let’s go. Maybe they’ll join us later.”

Percival nodded in agreement. Just as we were about to walk, the door opened and Arthur walked out, grinning. 

“You guys are still here,” he said. “Good.”

“Yeah, yeah, can we go celebrate now?” Gwaine whined. Percival chuckled. 

“How about we’ll just meet you guys at the nearest ice cream shop?” Percival said. 

“Ice-cream shop?” Gwaine exclaimed. “Oh hell no, we’re going to a pub!”

Percival rolled his eyes. “Like they’ll give us drinks,” Percival said as he touched Gwaine’s hand, interlacing their fingers. 

“Alright,” I told them as Percival started to tug Gwaine and leave. I watched at them, amused, as Gwaine whined and Percival nodding at him, obviously not listening to him. 

I looked at Arthur and smiled. 

“I think I’m going to go shower first,” Arthur said. 

“Alright,” I told him. “You’re going to shower here?”

“Yeah,” Arthur said before he patted my shoulder. “Let’s go.”

I followed him, the hallways becoming emptier and quieter the more we walked. When we reached a completely empty hallway, Arthur stopped walking, turning to look at me. I looked at him, slightly confused as to why we were stopping here. Then, he took a step towards me and placed his hand on my hip and the other touched my face. 

“Oh, what’s this?” I asked, amused. 

Arthur was chuckling before he leaned in close and nudged our noses together. “I deserve a kiss, don’t I?” he asked. 

I hummed at him. “Do you?” I asked. 

“Yes, of course I do!” he said. “Come on,give me a kiss.”

“Well,” I told him and pressed my lips against his in a chaste kiss. Arthur snorted when I pulled away. 

“Merlin, don’t tease,” he said and before I could retort, he pulled me close and kissed me. I keened under his lips and kissed him back, taking care not to jostle my hurt arm so much. I closed my eyes as I wrapped my free hand over his neck, my fingers grazing the back of his neck. 

He pulled away after a while, leaning his forehead against mine. “Happy?” I asked, taking in deep breaths and he kissed me again. 

And that was when we heard a low dark voice speaking, jolting us apart making us turn to look at who interrupted us. Arthur froze and I did too when I saw who it was standing in front of us. 

“Father,” Arthur breathed out. 

 

 


	23. The Story of Us

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: ...HAHAH. DON'T HATE ME YEAH? DON'T. Anyways, woo, tomorrow I'll be posting the last chapter of this story! Wow, guys. Wow. Woah. I posted every single day, damn. Look at me go. I never once posted every day for a story before (because I'm a lazy person like that). Anyways, don't want to say much just HAHA I'M SORRY and thank you to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos! Let me know what you guys think and until the next and final chapter~! -Krystal

 

 

“Father,” Arthur said as he took a step back from me. 

Uther was standing there, staring at us like he was witnessing someone murdering his favourite pet dog. His eyes were ablaze in disgust and anger when they turned to me before he dragged them to Arthur. 

“ _What_ …is the meaning of _this_?” he asked, his voice controlled but filled with venom. 

“Father,” Arthur said. “I can explain.”

“ _Explain_?” Uther demanded. 

“Father,” Arthur started. 

Uther narrowed his eyes at him before he growled and said, “I didn’t think it was true,” he said. I could feel the way he wanted to burn me to the ground, the way he wanted to hurt me from how dangerous his eyes were narrowed at me. “I thought that it wasn’t true.”

“What?” Arthur asked. 

Uther then pushed his hand in his jacket and pulled out a series of photographs. He tossed them to the floor, scattering them near our feet. Arthur bent down, eyeing his father in confusion and took a picture up to see. His breath hitched and I looked over his shoulders to look at the pictures. 

I froze too when I realised what I was seeing. 

It was the picture of us, kissing at the football field. It was the picture of us when we met in the classrooms when no one else was around. It was clear that we were being more than friends. Arthur stood up, his hands clenched tight on the pictures. 

“I had thought my son wouldn’t condemn himself to such disgusting acts,” Uther spit out. Arthur’s jaw clenched. 

“Father,” Arthur tried talking but Uther talked over him. 

“ _Silence_!” Uther bellowed, his voice loud and echoed the empty hallway in a way that sent shivers down my spine. I looked at him, terrified. “ _You_ ,” Uther said as he glared at me. “I should have known you would be the one to corrupt my son. I should have known from the first time I met you.”

“I…I didn’t,” I said but Uther shook his head. 

“You should be _ashamed_ of yourself,” Uther said. “Lowering your already low standards even more just to get a Pendragon by your side. You think I don’t know, boy, that you’re just the type of people who would do just about anything even if it means selling yourself for money?”

“Father, _enough_!” Arthur raised his voice. My cheeks reddened from the embarrassment and anger. Uther sharpened his gaze at the blond.

“How _dare_ you raise your voice at me?” Uther said. “This boy is nothing but a thief. A gold-digger! He’s manipulating you to his twisted desires so you would make him wealthy, rich.”

“Stop,” I said, voice steady even though I wasn’t feeling like it. “I…I’m not…I wouldn’t—I’m not a—”

“ _Whore_?” Uther hissed. I flinched. Arthur had taken a sharp breath at that.

“Take that back,” I said. “You take that back, you piece of entitled shite!”

Uther looked angrier. “ _See_? This is what someone like you would do, no decorum, no manners, absolutely _no self respect_ —”

“ _Enough_!” Arthur yelled. “Don’t you dare speak to him like that, ever again!”

Uther opened his mouth when he was stopped by a familiar voice.

“Uther?” Mum’s voice echoed down the hallway, appearing behind Uther with her eyebrows furrowed. She looked at me before she looked at Arthur. “What’s…going on?”

“You should keep your son on a leash,” Uther turned to grit at her, pointing a chubby finger at me. 

Mum looked taken aback at that, her lips turning down. “ _Excuse me_?”

“He has seduced my son into this nonsense,” Uther snarled. “Your son, Hunith, has proven to me just what people will do for money and status when they do not have it.”

Mum looked offended as she glared at Uther. “Now, what the hell are you talking about? My son?”

“He…he found us kissing,” Arthur said. “And…someone—the pictures.”

Mum looked at Arthur before she looked at the pictures on the floor. 

“You see?” Uther said. 

Mum sighed. “They’re dating, Uther,” she said but Uther laughed, darkly.

“No, this is an _abomination_!” Uther said. “And you, who support such acts, have proven you _too_ are nothing but a common wench seeking for money by selling anything you can reach to get it.”

Mum’s face had gone slack at the accusation and I gotten angrier. “Stop!” I yelled. “Don’t even _speak_ to her like that! Who do you think you are?”

“I am _Uther Pendragon_ ,” Uther bellowed. “And I will see to this that it will never happen again. I will end this between you two, whatever this disgusting thing is and I will have my son back. Arthur, come.”

“No,” Arthur said. Uther’s eyes flashed. 

“ _Come_ ,” he said, threateningly. “Don’t make me say it thrice.”

“ _I dare you_ ,” Arthur hissed. Uther looked taken aback at this.

“Don’t make this harder on you, boy,” Uther said. 

“Go,” I told Arthur. Arthur glanced at me. “Go, there’s nothing you can do now. Just go…We’ll…figure this out—”

“Do not _talk_ to my son!” Uther said, looking close to hitting me. Arthur immediately stood in front of me, his body tensed. 

“Let’s go,” Arthur said. “Father, leave them alone. Let’s go.”

Uther glared at Mum and me before he turned around and walked away. Arthur glanced at Mum, trying to say something but Mum shook her head.

“Go,” she told Arthur. “Go, Arthur.”

Arthur hesitated before he nodded and followed Uther. I took in a deep breath, feeling like my knees would buckle at any minute. Mum walked up to me before she gently placed a hand on my shoulder. I crouched down and picked up all the pictures, wondering who took them.

“Mum,” I whispered. I stood back up, my eyes filling up with tears as my heart sank to the pit of my stomach. Mum gave me a weak smile. 

“Come, love, let’s go home, yeah?” she said, her voice wavering. We were both shaken up as we left.

 

***

 

Mum made me a mug of hot chocolate and we sat curled on the sofa, sipping our drinks. We were quiet for a while. I was letting it all sink in my mind. It hurt me but at the same time, I wasn’t really surprised. I knew Uther was going to react to this badly. But I didn’t think it would be so soon. 

“What are you thinking?” Mum asked. 

“I hate him,” I breathed out. “I really hate that man.”

Mum remained silent for a while before she slammed her mug on the coffee table, startling me. “I cannot believe he called me a wench and told me to keep you on a leash.”

“He called me a whore,” I murmured. Mum took in a deep breath. When I glanced at her, she looked red with anger. 

“How dare he,” she hissed. “I have half a mind to march to his house and slap him across his face.”

“Don’t, Mum,” I told her. “Arthur’s with him.”

Mum deflated. “I hope Arthur is fine.” 

A fear coiled at the pit of my stomach. Uther wouldn’t raise his hands on Arthur, would he? I clutched my mug tighter, paling. If Arthur got hurt because of me, it would ruin me. I didn’t want anything to happen to him. He meant a lot to me. 

“Mum,” I said, voice shaking. Tears gathered in my eyes. “I don’t want him to get hurt because of me.”

“Oh, love,” she whispered and she dragged me into a hug. 

“What if he gets hurt?” I said. “I don’t think I’ll be able to take that.”

“Merlin,” Mum said as she rubbed my back. I choked down a sob. 

“What if Uther succeeded breaking us apart?” I asked. “I’m not ready to let him go, Mum. I don’t want to let him go. I want to be with him. I want us to last. I just got him.”

Mum didn’t say anything but I knew she was crying too as my heart broke into millions of pieces. The silence was answer enough. “Mum,” I wailed. 

“Shh, love,” Mum choked out. “Calm down, dear. Nothing is set in stone yet. Everything will be fine.”

“Can’t lose him,” I told her, shaking my head. “ _Can’t_.”

Mum nodded as she hugged me tighter.

 

***

 

He wasn’t answering his phone. He wasn’t at school. Suddenly, it was like he wasn’t even real. It had been a week since Uther found us and I haven’t heard anything from him. Morgana wasn’t even here too. It was like they both disappeared in thin air. 

“Where are they?” I mumbled as I found myself sitting against the shelves of the library. I looked at my phone and wondered briefly if Uther had cut them off from all access. It was possible. That man sounded like a lunatic. Tears gathered in my eyes as I dropped my phone next to me, staring right ahead at nothing but the books. 

I missed him terribly. It was almost scary how much my life was empty without him. I didn’t think Arthur affected me this much, but he did. I missed his smile, the way his eyes lit up whenever we bantered and his hands on my hips. The way he would make me curl into him so I would feel safe. 

“Merlin?” Will whispered as he found me. His eyebrows were pulled downwards, a sad look crossed his face. I looked at him before I looked away. Will sighed as he sat next to me. “Merlin.”

“Where are they?” I asked, my voice cracking. 

“I don’t know,” Will said. “I can’t contact Morgana either.”

“Do you think,” I said, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Do you think he…”

“I don’t know,” Will repeated, sounding sadder than before. 

“It’s been a week,” I murmured. “And I’m already wondering how I lived before him like this. It feels so…empty.”

Will kept quiet for a while before he draped his arms across my shoulder, tugging me close. I lied on his shoulder, taking in a deep breath before closing my eyes. “It’s okay,” Will said. “If you want to cry, go ahead.”

“I shouldn’t though,” I said. “I shouldn’t be so weak. Maybe I should go see him. I know where he lives.”

“And get hurt?” Will said. “No. We don’t know what his father is capable of.”

“I just want to see him again, Will,” I said. “I just want to see him again.”

Will hummed, sighing. “What do you want to do?”

“I can’t contact him, I can’t communicate with him,” I said as I pulled away. “I need to make sure he’s okay.”

“But how are we going to do that?” he asked. 

I bit my bottom lip before I shrugged, running a hand through my hair. “I guess, my plan of action was going to his house,” I confessed. “But you’re right, I can’t.”

“Maybe,” Will said. “Maybe I can.”

“Will?” I asked.

“I mean, Uther doesn’t know me or Arthur’s friends. Maybe if I go there and take a look,” Will said. 

I hugged him tight. “Thank you, Will,” I said. Will hugged me back, rubbing a hand up and down my back. 

“Don’t get your hopes too high,” he told me. “I have a feeling Uther won’t be so stupid to allow Arthur live there.”

My heart sank, forgetting for a moment that that could be possible. I tightened my hug, tears once more gathering in my eyes as I bit my inner cheek from sobbing at the thought of not being able to see him again. “It’s my fault,” I whispered. Will stilled. 

“What is?” he asked, voice careful.

“I did this to him,” I said. “If I had kept my mouth shut, if I never confessed. If I—If I kept him at a distance, he would’ve been with Sophia and none of this would’ve happened. He would be happy. He would be safe. It wasn’t like he was miserable with Sophia. All I ever do is bring—”

Will pushed me away harshly, his eyes burning bright in anger. He grabbed my face, his fingers digging into my skin to the point it was painful. The tears ran down my face as I took in shuddering breaths, staring at him. 

“Don’t,” he said, fiercely. “This isn’t your fault, Merlin. This isn’t your burden to bear.”

“It’s not his, either,” I said, voice croaking. “He doesn’t deserve this, Will!”

“And you do?” Will questioned. “You don’t, either. Merlin, come on, mate. Don’t become a martyr now.”

I pushed his hands off my face. “I can’t help it,” I said. “I can’t help feeling so guilty. He told me how his Father was like and I still…I didn’t even think of the consequences of dating him. I was so selfish.”

“Goddamnit,” Will whispered, his own eyes watering. “Please, don’t do this. Don’t blame yourself for this. It isn’t your fault. It’s not your fault that prick of a man can’t accept you two love each other.”

My breath hitched in my throat as I searched his face. Will’s eyes widened before he said, “Please don’t tell me you just realised you loved him, Merlin,” he said. “Please don’t tell me you didn’t know.”

“I…I didn’t,” I said. “I didn’t. I thought I just liked him a lot—I didn’t think I was already in love with him.”

Will dragged me into another hug as I cried. “Damn,” Will said. 

“I love him,” I choked out. “I _love_ him.”

“I know, mate,” Will said. “I know.”

“I’m such an idiot,” I told him. 

“No, no you’re not,” Will said as he ran his fingers through my hair, calming me down. “No, you’re not.”

“How can I not know that I love him?” I asked. “It took me with him gone for me to…”

“He’s not gone,” Will said. “He just needs someone to rescue him from the clutches of that bad man.”

I laughed weakly. “What can we do?”

“Firstly, I’m going to go and see if Arthur is still in his place,” Will promised. “And if he isn’t, we’ll find a way to get him to come back to you, okay?”

“I’m scared,” I admitted. “I was scared but now, now that I know how much I love him, I’m even more scared. It’ll burn me alive from the inside if I have to let him go.”

“You won’t,” he said.

I shook my head as I took in a shuddering breath. “Then why does it feel like I’ll have to eventually?”

 

***

 

Just like Will suspected, Arthur’s house was empty when we reached there. Lancelot sighed, leaning against his car. I leaned next to him, looking at the ground as Will trotted towards us with a frown. 

“So, we know with certainty that he’s with Uther,” Lancelot said, tilting his head to the side. “This is so stupid. Arthur’s no longer a kid.”

“But he still has the weight of his name on his shoulders,” I told them. “It’s not like he can run away without consequences.”

“Merlin,” Will said. 

I sighed. “I just…I needed to see him,” I told him. “I need to. At least…”

“Stop talking like that,” Lancelot snapped. I looked away from them. 

“I think,” Will said, clearing his throat. “I think maybe…maybe, just maybe, we can sneak into the house.”

I snapped my eyes at him. “Sneak into Uther’s house? His house is secured.”

“Well,” Lancelot said. “There’s always a way.”

“What do you mean?” I asked. Lancelot hummed. 

“Gwen knows how to sneak into the house,” he said, flashing a grin. “She sneaked in a few times to see Morgana.”

I blinked at that. Right, I sometimes forgot that Gwen wasn’t just a shy and quiet girl. Hope bloomed in my chest as I shifted my weight from one foot to the next. “You think it’ll work?” I asked. 

Will sucked his bottom lip before he said, “Let’s give it a try.”

“Right,” Lancelot said. “How about tonight?”

“Tonight?” I asked. “What if Uther’s home?”

“We’ll work it out,” Lancelot assured me. Will nodded.

“Let’s give it a try.”

 

***

 

Gwen did know how to sneak into the house. I wasn’t sure if I should be impressed or terrified at her uncanny ability to break into a house without leaving any evidence behind. She simply smirked over her shoulders when I relied that thought to her. To minimise the suspicion, it was only Gwen and I that broke inside while Lancelot and Will took watch in case Uther or someone spotted them. 

“I love the trees here,” Gwen said as she pushed herself through the windows and into a bathroom and landed on her feet. I huffed and puffed, scrambling into the window as well, not even trying to hide the fact that I was terrified of heights. “They always work as great ladders.”

“Great,” I murmured as I let my body sprawl on the cool tiles of the bathroom, taking in deep breaths as I stared at the fancy cream-coloured ceiling. Gwen looked at me, her face blocking my view with a grin. 

“Come on,” she said. “I know Morgana’s home.”

“How?” I asked as I sat up and scrambled to stand. Gwen walked to the front door, opening it without a sound. 

“Her room light is switched on,” she said.

“Oh,” I said. I realised then I had no idea which room was Morgana’s and which was Arthur’s. I held back the slight panic and followed Gwen out to the quiet hallway. Then, we began walking until Gwen stopped in front of a door, painted in dark purple. 

Gwen touched the doorknob and looked at me. I nodded at her and she twisted the knob, pushing the door open. She peeked her head inside and then she dragged me inside with a hand on my wrist. The door closed quietly with a click. 

And there she was. 

Morgana.

Sitting at her desk with her headphones on, writing something down, papers strewn everywhere. There was no signs of any electronics. I guess the old man did cut them off all connections to the outside world. 

Gwen took a few steps towards Morgana before she touched her shoulder. Morgana screamed before she clamped her mouth shut, turning around. Her eyes widened when she looked at Gwen and she tossed her headphone to the table, standing up. She lunged at Gwen and hugged her tight.

“Gwen!” Morgana exclaimed. “Gwen, you’re here!”

“Morgana,” Gwen said as she hugged her back just as tight. She pushed Morgana away for a bit before she jerked a thumb over her shoulders at me. Morgana looked at me and her green eyes filled with tears. I choked back a watery smile before I walked to her and hugged her. 

Morgana buried her face against my shoulder and hugged me back, her grip tightening painfully. 

“Merlin,” she whimpered. 

“Morgana,” I said, trying not to sob. 

“How,” she said as she pulled away, looking at me. “You’re here.”

“You weren’t in school and,” I started and she nodded, taking in a deep breath before she wiped her face off the tears. 

“He basically placed us under house arrest,” she spat out, bitterly. “He’s…Merlin, he’s planning on sending us off.”

My eyes widened, my heart beating loudly against my chest at that.

“Where?” Gwen asked.

“America,” Morgana said. “America, can you believe it?”

“Where’s…where’s Arthur?” I asked. Morgana grabbed my wrist and she tugged me to the door. 

“God, he’s been so quiet, Merlin,” Morgana babbled, her voice lowering once we were at the hallway. “Uther wouldn’t understand. He tried and he fought with him but Uther only made it worse for him. He made sure Arthur was accompanied all the time, made sure he was always around. Arthur looked half-mad by the end of a few days.”

“I miss him,” I whispered. Morgana glanced over her shoulders before she gave me a sad smile. 

“He did too,” Morgana said. “Trust me.”

Then, we stopped in front of a plain white door. Morgana didn’t hesitate to twist the doorknob and push it open, walking inside and dragging me along. 

“Look, I’m not intere—” Arthur stopped as he sat up on his bed, his eyes wide as he looked at Morgana and then at me. “What…?”

“Your boyfriend actually broke into our house to see you,” Morgana choked out, laughing in sadness. “Here. You can have him.”

Morgana pushed me into the room and I stumbled a few feet before strong familiar arms wrapped around me. My face pressed against his chest. I immediately hugged him tight and my heart burst in my chest as I buried my face against his shoulder. 

“Oh God, you’re here,” Arthur whispered against my skin, his face tucked between my shoulder and neck. “You’re here. You're _here_.”

“Arthur,” I said, voice breaking. “Arthur, I missed you.”

“God, I missed you too,” Arthur said. “I missed you _so much_.”

The door clicked closed and we were left alone. 

“I thought,” I breathed out, shaking. “I thought you left.”

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he dragged me over to the bed. He sat down and made me sit in front of him. He cradled my face and a soft smile crossed his lips. “God, I missed you. I was actually going to break out of here tomorrow.”

I chuckled wetly, wiping my eyes. “What…what did he do?”

Arthur’s smile slipped and he pulled his hand away, sighing. “Threw a tantrum when things didn’t go his way, as usual,” Arthur said. “Told me that I will not be mingling myself with commoners like we’re still living in the Dark Ages. Sometimes, I think he forgets that we’re not actually going to be next in line for the throne.”

Arthur lied on his bed before he looked at me. He opened his arms and I didn’t hesitate to clamber into his arms. I lied on his chest and he wrapped his arms around me, minding my bandaged arm. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry. I didn’t want you to go through this. I shouldn’t have told you anything. I should have let you be with Sophia and—”

I was pushed to my back and Arthur propped on his elbow to look down at me, a frown on his face. He touched my face with the other hand, his fingers grazing down my cheek. “Why would you even say that?” he asked. “You didn’t make me do anything. I made my decision.”

“But,” I said and he shook his head.

“Please, don’t do this,” he said, his eyes pleading. “Don’t hurt yourself because of me. I knew this was going to happen but I won’t let him do this anymore. He can’t expect me to follow every one of his plans withoutme rebelling. I want to at least be able to choose who I can be with.”

More tears gathered in my eyes and they slid down my face. Arthur sighed softly as he wiped them away, leaning down to kiss my forehead. “I don’t want to lose you,” I told him, feeling vulnerable now that he was here. Arthur caressed my cheek before he shook his head.

“You won’t,” he promised. He leaned down again, this time, our noses brushed. I curled a hand on his neck and dragged him closer. “You won’t.”

I pushed up a bit and kissed him, letting myself go so I could feel him against me for a while. Arthur pushed me back until I was lying flat, kissing me back with vigour. He cradled my jaw, his touch soft. When he pulled away, he placed our foreheads together. 

“I heard…I heard he’s planning to send you both to America,” I whispered. Arthur hummed. 

“He can try,” Arthur said. 

“He…will,” I said and Arthur tightened his fingers on my skin. “Arthur.”

“Why do you look so…ready to give up?” Arthur asked, his voice cracking as he searched my face. 

I pushed his hand away but he only replaced it with his lips as he lied on me, wrapping his arms around me until I was trapped under him. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur whispered against my skin. 

_I love you but I’m starting to feel like I might have to let you go_ , I thought to myself. _That is what’s wrong_.

But I didn’t say that. Instead, I huffed out and said, “I just miss you,” I said. “When will you come back?”

Arthur didn’t answer me but I knew the answer. I bit my bottom lip from crying again. Arthur pulled away to look at me in the eyes. “Soon,” he said but I could hear the uncertainty in his voice. I raised a shaky hand to touch his face before I poked his nose. 

“ _Liar_ ,” I said, my voice thick of emotions. And that was when Arthur’s eyes filled with tears but he quickly covered it up with him kissing me. 

_Do you love me too?_ the question burned in my mind that night but I was too much of a coward to let it out, to hear an answer, so I kept quiet.

 

***

 

Another week passed and still Arthur and Morgana was nowhere to be seen. People had begun to talk and rumours started to fly. There was nothing anyone could do though. Arthur and I still meet in secret whenever he could escape for even a few precious minutes and it broke my heart every time that we were forced to meet in secret. 

But I took every chance I could get, like I couldn’t live a day without seeing his face. It should have scared me how much I relied on him to make me happy, now that my days were nothing but a passing hour every time he wasn’t around. 

I sighed, my arm still in a cast hurting a bit as I leaned against my locker, letting my body squish against the metal. 

“Well,” a drawl made me spin around in surprise. My eyes widened when I saw Morgouse, grinning at me sharp and deadly. “Look what we have here. What happened to you, hm?”

It wasn’t a question, not really. It was more like a gleeful statement. I knew how I looked like. I didn’t need her, _especially her_ , to tell me about it. But she didn’t get the memo, not even when I glared at her. 

“Oh, don’t glare at me,” Morgouse said, a cackle left her lips that sent cold shivers down my spine. “Let me guess,” she said, humming. “It’s because Arthur is no longer attending Camelot High.”

I opened my mouth and then I closed it when she grinned again, this time in what seemed like triumph. 

I knew right then and there that she did something. 

“What did you do?” I gritted out, clenching my free hand into a fist. 

“Me?” Morgouse said. “No, no, dear. What did _you_ do?”

I furrowed my eyebrows at her. Morgues tossed her hair over her shoulders. 

“You were the one who flaunted your relationship,” she said with a whistle. “And wow, what a pair you two made.”

I narrowed my eyes at her. 

“He was good looking and you—were eccentric in a way,” she said, shrugging. “I admit, you two looked good.”

“Morgouse, I swear to God, if you did this—”

Her eyes flashed and I yelped in pain when she grabbed my injured harm and took me off guard with her swinging it, almost like she was aiming to break my arm off. I pushed her away harshly, wincing at the pain and hugged my arm against my chest. 

“Are you crazy?” I yelled. 

“ _Yes_ ,” she hissed. “I am. And you did this yourself! You’re the one who hurt my boyfriend, so in return, I hurt yours.” She then took a step towards me, her shoulders squared with a sneer on her face. 

“Tell me, Merlin,” she said. “Who did you think took those pictures and sent them to Uther Pendragon?”

My eyes widened and I stopped breathing.

“ _You_?” I said.

“Have fun getting your heart ripped out,” Morgouse said with a smirk. 

I watched her walk away. My heart was racing in my chest once everything sunk in. I slid down to the ground, staring right ahead as my head spun. She wasn’t kidding. She _wasn’t_. She did hurt—she did strike. 

She hurt in a way she knew how. 

And it wasn’t physically like Cenred, no, she did it emotionally. 

I took in shuddering breaths, unable to think straight. I pushed myself to stand as I shakily grabbed my phone. I knew I couldn’t call Arthur but God, I really wanted to talk to him. I wanted to see him. I always took that for granted until I could no longer see him. 

I called the first number that I saw. I didn’t care who it was, I just needed someone to talk to, someone who could listen to me. 

“Merlin?” Leon’s voice filtered through the speakers.

“I need to see you,” I choked out.

 

***

 

Leon looked ahead, sitting next to me at the park’s bench. I sighed, running a hand through my hair. 

“So,” Leon said, frowning. “Morgouse gave the pictures to Uther?”

“She took them too,” I said, numbly. 

“Have you told Arthur this?” he asked. 

“There’s no way for me to even contact him, Leon,” I snapped. I immediately cringed at that. “Sorry.”

“It’s fine, Merlin,” he said as he placed a hand on my shoulder. “Hey, it’s okay.”

“God, how did things go so wrong?” I asked. 

Leon didn’t answer me. I didn’t ask him to answer either. 

“What are you going to do?” Leon asked after a minute of silence. I shrugged at him.

“Hang on, I guess,” I said. Leon glanced at me before he looked away.

“And then?” Leon asked. 

I frowned. “What do you mean?”

“You hang on, he hangs on,” Leon said. “And then what?”

I licked my lips as I stared at the ground. “I don’t know,” I said. “But…I love him and I want to be there for him.”

“You love him?” Leon asked. 

“Yeah,” I said, noticing that Leon was smiling at that. He looked peaceful, like he wasn’t hurting whenever he looked at me. I wondered briefly if it was because of Will. If it was because he got over the fact that he couldn’t be with me. 

“What about him?” Leon asked. 

“I…,” I said. “I’m too scared to know.”

Leon snorted. “You shouldn’t be,” Leon said. “Times like this is the time you’re supposed to be brave enough to take what you want. Don’t let Uther stop you, Merlin. I heard about that man. He only cares about prestige and name.”

I opened my mouth and closed it when Leon touched my shoulder again, this time, he urged me to look at him. “Please don’t let him take away what you love,” he pleaded. 

I closed my eyes and nodded. “I won’t,” I said. Leon looked relieved at that answer as he gave me a smile when I opened my eyes. He pulled his hand away and slouched against the bench even more. I knocked his leg with mine. “What about you?”

“Me?” Leon asked. “Well…”

“Will,” I said. “What happened between you two? You both seemed okay but…”

“We aren’t dating,” Leon said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “I’m not ready to like someone new and Will…I don’t want something to go wrong with him. So, we decided to stay as friends. For now. Who knows? Maybe a few years later…when I’m ready, if he still wants to try, we might be together.”

“How did he take that news?” I asked. 

“He just hugged me tight and told me that I was his first guy crush,” Leon said, chuckling in mirth. “He’s cute when he blushes.”

I patted Leon’s knee. “You’re going to go off to train for the national team after this, aren’t you?”

“Yeah,” Leon said. He smiled. “I can’t wait.”

I smiled back. “Thanks for being a great friend, Leon.”

Leon simply patted my shoulder. “Let’s grab something to eat, I’m starving and I know just the comfort food for you.”

I stood up and nodded. “You’re paying.”

Leon grinned. “Of course,” he said, shrugging. I chuckled.

 

***

 

I fidgeted nervously as I stared at the books. I touched one spine of a book to the next, glancing at my phone for the umpteenth time. Arthur had said he would meet me here after school. But here I was, thirty minutes had passed and I still didn’t see him. 

I bit my bottom lip, worrying it as I took one book out of the shelves before putting it back. I kept at it for another ten minutes before I sighed. Was he not coming? Did something happen? He never not came before. 

I shrieked then when a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and a chest plastered against my back. I turned around and I was pushed against the shelves, trapped against the books and a familiar chest. I looked at him, taking in deep breaths as I touched my chest, trying to get my heart beat down.

Arthur chuckled, grinning. 

“You jerk,” I said, slapping his chest. I frowned at his get-up. He was wearing an awfully neon coloured cap with a blue worn out hoodie and a pair of black jeans. It wasn’t that I hadn’t seen him wearing clothes such at these but he always wore clothes that stuck to his body like it was painted on him. In this attire though, he seemed relax, cuddly and it made my heart swell. 

I nudged the cap with the edges of my fingers, blinking in amusement and disgust at the neon green shade. 

“I think I’m going to go blind,” I said, earning another chuckle as Arthur tightened his grip on my waist. 

“I needed something that didn’t scream Pendragon,” Arthur said with a shrug. My smile dimmed into a sigh at the remainder that Arthur was here secretly. Arthur leaned in close and nuzzled my nose. “Don’t look like that.”

“How long?” I whispered against his cheek. “How long do we have to keep secretly meeting like this?”

“Merlin,” Arthur said as he pulled away a bit. “You know I’m trying.”

“I know,” I told him, cupping his cheek. “I don’t blame you.”

“Then, what is it?” Arthur said, his lips thinning. “I miss you too, you know.”

“It’s nice to hear that,” I said, jokingly even though it came out flat. “You’re not coming back, are you?”

Arthur didn’t answer that but his face said it all. I chuckled, mirthlessly. I dropped my hand to his chest before knocking against him with my fingers. 

“Told you you were lying,” I said. 

“Merlin,” he said. 

“I love you,” I said, looking at him in the eyes. Arthur had grown still, staring right back at me before his cheeks pinked, his eyes widening. 

“What?”

“I,” I said, touching Arthur’s neck before I pulled him closer until his lips were hovering over mine. “Love you.” I kissed him then, not giving Arthur a chance to answer. I didn’t want to hear his answer. Not yet. Arthur kissed me back, taking care not to touch my hurt arm as he cradled my face. I hummed in our kiss, our lips grazing when he pulled away. 

“You love me,” he said, a smile on his face. 

“Yeah,” I said, leaning into his palm. 

“I,” Arthur said. “I love you too.”

My heart skipped a beat, searching his face before I grinned. “You do, huh?” I said, my voice wobbling. 

“I do,” he said, nodding. “We’ll make it, I promise. I’ll—I’ll leave it all behind.”

“Arthur,” I said. 

“I don’t want anyone else,” Arthur whispered as he closed his eyes, his grip on me tightening. “I never felt like this before and I don’t want to let you go.”

“You mean a lot to me,” I said. Arthur opened his eyes and I saw how those blue eyes flashed in relief. 

“You too,” he said. “Just a little while longer, I promise.”

I hugged him tight, burying my face in his shoulder, taking in deep breaths to stop this pain coiling in my chest when I should be happy.

 

***

 

I walked into my house with dread washing into me when I saw a car that didn’t belong to Mum parked at the sidelines. I closed the door before I said, “Mum?”

“Here, love,” Mum said, her voice tight. My heart thumping loudly against my chest as I walked into the living room. My breath got stuck in my throat when I saw Uther, standing in the middle of the room, his hands shoved in his pants pockets, looking bored. 

“What are you doing here?” I asked.

Uther clicked his tongue. “No manners whatsoever,” he said. He looked me up and down before he added, “Not that I was expecting any.”

“Uther, you will leave my house now,” Mum snapped. “How dare you come in here and start insulting us.”

“How dare me?” he asked. “No, how dare _you_!”

I winced at the volume of his voice. 

“What do you want?” I asked. 

“ _My son_ ,” Uther hissed. “I want _my son_ back.”

I searched his face. Uther rolled his eyes when I didn’t answer him. 

“Did you think I wouldn’t know that he sneaks off to see you whenever he can?” he asked. That sent a pang of panic racing through my mind. He smiled, cruelly. “I’m not Uther Pendragon if I didn’t.”

“He loves me,” I told him. “I love him. I don’t want your money. I don’t want your name. I just want to be with him.”

“You are a _boy_ ,” Uther growled. “Other people can accept that but not me. _Not me_. He cannot have an _heir_ with you. And you are not of our status. The only reason I sent him to Camelot High was because I didn’t think the school would _accept_ commoners. It seems that I had been wrong.”

“Is name all that matters to you?” I asked.

“Name is everything in this world and age,” he bellowed. “And I wouldn’t expect you two to understand. Stay away from my son, this is your last warning.”

“No,” I said. 

“Leave him alone, Uther,” Mum said. “Pick someone your own size for once, would you? Better yet, why not listen to what your son wants for a second instead of what you _think_ is right for him?”

Uther ignored her. “Like I said, you two wouldn’t understand what it means to maintain a certain…decorum even through choosing the person to spend your life with. I will not tolerate insolence, boy.”

“I’m saying no,” I snapped. “I will keep meeting up with him. He said he’ll leave you. He will, don’t think he won’t. He’s not a coward.”

“I know my son!” Uther yelled. “And he will be what I want him to be. He wants to leave you? Fine. Let him leave but he will be leaving empty handed. He will leave with the fact he will no longer be a Pendragon. And what will happen to him then? Spend his life with you? With _what_?”

“He has friends, he has _me_ , he has people who’ll understand him better than you can or _ever will_ ,” I said. Uther’s eyes flashed in anger. 

“He will be _nothing_ ,” Uther said then, his face blanking. “Here’s the deal, Merlin. He either leaves you, or have his entire future ruined if it meant he’ll learn a lesson. If you think all of his— _friends_ —would be enough to keep him happy then you must be delusional. I have the power to make sure he never goes anywhere, stuck with nothing more than five pounds in his pockets, working nothing more than a janitor. And what happens at the end? What happens if one day he wakes up and realises that he could have been somebody, somebody successful if only he stayed away from you? If only _you_ weren’t selfish enough to hold him back?”

I let that sink in my head as I searched his face. “You _wouldn’t_ dare,” I said.

“Oh, I _will_ ,” Uther said, smiling sickeningly. “And what more, I’ll ruin everything you love.” His eyes flitted to Mum and it made my blood run cold. 

“Don’t fucking touch her,” I said and Mum glared at him. 

“Get out,” Mum said. “I said, _get out_! Or I swear to God I will drag you out by your almost balding head.”

Uther sneered. “Leave my son,” he said. “ _Or else_.”

With that said, he swept of my house, slamming the front door shut, his threat looming heavily in the air. I breathed out in shock after a minute, slowly slumping to the ground. Mum rushed to my side as she kneeled in front of me, her hands touching my face. 

“Love,” she said. “Don’t. Don’t give up. He can’t harm me, dear.”

But I wasn’t listening to her. Because I knew Uther meant it. His eyes spoke business. He was real with his threats. 

“I…,” I said, looking at her. “Mum.”

“Oh, Merlin,” she said and tears gathered in my eyes as my heart broke into pieces. 

“I don’t…I don’t want him to become nothing because of me,” I said through my heavy breathing. “I can’t jeopardise his future.”

“Love,” she said.

“He’ll do it, Mum,” I said, panicking. “Mum, _he’ll do it_. I know he will. I…I can’t do that to him. He doesn’t deserve any of this, Mum. He deserves more. And…”

I closed my eyes and hugged her tight as I choked down the sobs. 

Mum rubbed my back, up and down. 

“What am I going to do?” I asked her but in reality, I knew the answer. It made me feel cold that the answer was staring right at me in the eyes. I felt foolish thinking we could last. I didn’t want to do it but Uther, as long as he was alive, would make true of his threats and that was the last thing I wanted. 

“I have to let him go,” I said. Mum tightened her hug. 

“I’m sorry, love,” she whispered and that broke everything in me. I cried and cried, wanting to get rid of all the pain I felt. It felt like everything was for naught. All the memories and kisses and touches, that was all it was going to be at the end of the day. 

I was going to let the first person I ever loved go because there was nothing else I could do. 

“I’m going to hurt him so badly,” I said. “He’s going to hate me. He’s going to be crying and I can’t comfort him. I’m going to be sick.”

“Merlin,” she hushed as she cradled me in her arms. “It’ll be okay, love.”

“It won’t,” I said. “It won’t.”

Mum kissed my head. “Given enough time, anything will be okay.”

“But I want to be okay now,” I whispered.

“I know, love,” she said, her voice shaky. “God, I’m so sorry, Merlin. I’m so sorry, love.”

“Loving someone hurts,” I said. 

Mum didn’t say anything. “I wish you didn’t know what that feels like.”

I wish I didn’t either.

 

***

 

When Arthur wanted to see me again, I knew that this was the last time we would ever meet. He wouldn’t know, of course, but I knew and that was enough to make me wish I could reject meeting him so I could maybe hold onto him for a day longer. 

But then Uther’s face flashed in my mind and I couldn’t jeopardise anyone’s future just because of my feelings. There were greater things out there for Arthur than me. Besides, we weren’t together for long. It shouldn’t—Arthur would forget about me. 

It hurt. But it was the type of hurt that I wouldn’t forget, making me remember why I subjected myself to this pain. 

It was for his own good, it was to protect Mum. 

It wasn’t for my sake. 

“You’re quiet,” Arthur said as he walked next to me. I glanced at him before I shrugged. I kept my face blank, not showing any of my feelings past my mask. Arthur touched my wrist and halted me before he pulled me to an alleyway. He tried to catch my eyes but I looked away. He grabbed my chin and tilted my head up until I had to meet the curious blue orbs. 

“What’s wrong?” Arthur asked. “You’re usually less…”

I pulled away from him, my heart aching in my chest as my eyes threatened to become wet. Arthur frowned.

“Merlin?” he said. 

I licked my lips, looking away from him. “I’m just not in the mood to go out today.”

“Oh,” Arthur said. “Well, maybe we can find somewhere quiet then.”

“I just want to go home,” I told him, my voice quiet. Arthur quietened before he touched my face. I avoided his hand and took a step back from him. “Please don’t touch me.”

“Merlin?” Arthur said, sounding confused. “Why…?”

I looked at him, my already cracked heart cracking even more at the look of genuine hurt in his eyes. 

“Have I…done something wrong?” he asked, hesitantly. 

I thinned my lips. I knew that the next words out of my mouth was going to hurt him and I wanted to hold them in me as long as possible. Arthur reached to touch me again and I let him this time. He cradled my face until I was forced to look at him. 

“Merlin,” he said. “Why are you being so cold today?”

“I’m not,” I said, curtly. 

“You are, though,” Arthur said, his voice careful. “Really, if I’ve done something wrong—”

I pushed him away from me. “Just stop touching me. I don’t want you touch me.”

“I…don’t understand why,” Arthur said. 

“What don’t you understand?” I said, picking a fight on purpose. “I just don't want you to touch me.”

“You never had a problem with it before,” he said.

“Well, now I do,” I snapped. Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. 

“What is wrong with you today?” Arthur said with a sigh. “Come on, tell me. I’m here, aren’t I?”

“Maybe I just don’t want to tell you,” I groused, crossing my arms against my chest. Arthur shook his head. 

“You always tell me everything,” he said.

“Arthur, please, just drop it,” I said, my eyes watering. “I’m tired of hearing you asking for everything.”

“What?” Arthur said, incredulously. 

“Just, stop getting on my case,” I said.

“Geez, fine,” Arthur snapped, sounding irritated. “I make time for you and this is what I get.”

“I didn’t ask you to give me your time now, did I?” I asked. “Maybe you shouldn’t have to if it’s such a big deal to you.”

“What the fuck?” Arthur said, his eyes sharpening. “No, no, we’re not going to do this.”

“Do what?” I asked, looking at him with a bored look on my face. 

“You’re picking a fight,” he said. I hid a wince at that. Was I being obvious? “You never pick a fight on purpose.”

I bit my inner cheek, looking away from him, deciding to cancel that plan out. Arthur couldn’t get suspicious. I took in a deep breath, feeling my hands tremble. 

“I have something to tell you,” I said. I didn’t look at him. I didn’t want to. 

“What is it?” Arthur said. 

I hesitated, the words wouldn’t form in my mouth. I didn’t want to do this. I want to stay. I want to be with him. 

But I _can’t_ , I harshly reminded myself. 

_Think of Arthur’s future, your Mum’s_.

And that was the drive I needed to blurt out, “Let’s break up.”

It was silence after that. I closed my eyes, awaiting for a reaction, tensing up when I heard Arthur walking towards to me. I gasped when he pushed me against the walls of the alleyway, harshly. 

“Open your eyes,” Arthur demanded, his voice steeled. I shook my head. “Open your eyes, Merlin.”

He grasped my chin and tilted my head up. 

“I want to break up,” I whispered at him. “I want to leave.”

“Open your eyes,” Arthur hissed. His grip on my chin tightened painfully. “ _Open your goddamn eyes_.”

I opened them then and took in a sharp breath at the amount of anger in his blue eyes. 

“Now,” he said, his voice tensed. “Repeat that. Repeat that to me while looking into my eyes.”

I gulped, knowing that I couldn’t. I couldn’t. Not while looking at him. 

“I,” I started. Arthur continued to stare at me, his eyes burning into mine like he could read me. “I want to break up,” I said at last, my voice hitching as my eyes filled with tears. Arthur looked taken aback at that before his anger drained away from his face and there it was— _hurt_. 

Just pure hurt.

Hurt and—

“You promised me you’ll stay,” Arthur said, his voice calm and yet his eyes flashed in _betrayal_. My heart leaped in my chest. It made me hard to breathe at the pain I was inflicting on him. “You promised, Merlin.”

“I guess I got tired,” I said, hating every word leaving my mouth. “I guess I don’t want to stay anymore.”

Arthur pushed me harder against the walls. “You’re lying,” he said, voice coming out desperate. “Please tell me you’re lying.”

It took everything in me to say, “I don’t want you anymore.”

Arthur pulled away like I burned him and in a way, I did. 

“I thought you were different,” Arthur spat. “I thought you loved me, Merlin.”

I blinked away the tears. “I’m sorry,” I said. “I’m sorry. I…just can’t anymore. It’s too much for me, Arthur.”

“You’re telling me this now?” Arthur asked, almost yelling. “You’re telling me this when you made me fall for you?”

I didn’t answer him, knowing that I was shredding every piece of his heart. And at the same time, it was hurting me too. 

“I didn’t ask you to fall for me,” I said. 

“ _Wow_ ,” Arthur said. “ _Wow_ , I didn’t think you’d be this cruel.”

“What did you think was going to happen, Arthur?” I snapped, looking at him. “Did you think everything was going to be fine if we just stick together? Did you really think _love_ is going to be _enough_? Did you think you would—” _be happy if I took away everything you could have been?_

“You told me you’d stay,” Arthur said, his voice cracking. “You _told me_ —”

“Well, guess what?” I said. “I _lied_ , Arthur. Gosh, just accept it. I want to break up.”

“I’m leaving, Merlin,” Arthur snapped. “He’s already prepared my departure to fucking America next month and I wanted—I don’t know what the fuck I wanted now that I’m looking at you.”

I let my heart sink at the pure anger and slight disgust in his voice. “Good,” I said, trying to keep my voice from faltering. “Go away to America. Go and start anew there. I’m…We’re not right, Arthur.”

“How could you?” Arthur said. “I _love_ you, Merlin.”

“I’m sorry,” I said. 

“Please,” Arthur said as he took a step towards me. “Don’t do this to me, to us. _Please_.”

I took a step back from him. 

“ _Goodbye_ , Arthur,” I said, looking straight in his eyes, watching everything that I came to love about him shattering. 

Arthur stared at me for a while before his lips thinned and his eyes went cold. He straightened himself as he nodded, taking a step back. 

“Fine,” he said, sounding calm. “ _Fine_ , if that’s what you want.”

My throat closed up as he gazed at me cooly, like I was nothing more than a bug under his shoe, _insignificant_. It broke me again and again but I accepted the pain, like a punishment for ruining him. 

“Yeah, that’s what I want,” I forced myself to say. 

“Right,” he said. “Goodbye, Merlin.”

He looked at me a while longer like he was trying to commit my face to his memory before he shook his head and walked away. I didn’t even watch him walk away, instead, the minute I thought he was gone, _forever_ , I slumped to the ground and cried. 

I lost him for good. 

It was for his own good, I tried to convince myself but I couldn’t think beyond this searing pain in my heart. My body shook as I took in shuddering gasps and breaths. 

We weren’t supposed to be like this but alas, I had no choice. 

Arthur hated me.

Arthur will learn to hate me. 

And I had to accept him hating me now than years later. 

“I’m sorry, God, I’m so sorry, Arthur,” I whimpered. “I love you, so goddamn much. And that’s why I have to let you go. I—Just be somebody, that’s enough for me. Be happy, find someone who wouldn’t be such a coward to hold onto you despite everything. I’m so sorry.”

I didn’t know how long I was at the alleyway crying my eyes out. 

But by the time I had stopped sobbing, I felt numb and cold—and it was raining. 

 

 


	24. Where It All Began

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: WELL. HERE YOU GO GUYS. THE LAST CHAPTER. THE VERY LAST. WOOTS. Wow. What a journey it had been, my friends. It was so much fun to rewrite the entire story and I'm pretty happy with this rewrite. Hmhm, to those commenters, you know who you are, you guys have been so awesome and supportive, even translating this story for me. I actually look to you guys a lot every time I post a new chapter. <33 I hope to see you guys too on the other two Merthur stories I've got going on. Now that I'm done with this, I'll be focusing on the other two. I also will be posting--well, I'll tell you at the end of this chapter. Please enjoy the chapter and see you guys at the end notes!

 

**SIX YEARS LATER**

 

I rubbed the back of my neck, walking out of Leshter Co. for my lunch break, thumbing at my phone. I walked down the busy pavement, trying to avoid bumping into people. Even after all these years, I never really grew out of the discomfort having to walk through crowds. 

I crossed the road when the pedestrian traffic turned green. Walking another twenty minutes before I took a sharp left, I found the small cosy restaurant that Morgana wanted to meet me at. I walked in the restaurant, looking around the place before my eyes landed on her. 

She was looking at the menu, her hair tied in a pony tail, dressed in a white buttoned up blouse with a black pencil skirt. She looked up from the menu, her green eyes shimmered in happiness when they met my blue ones. She waved me over. 

“Morgana,” I said as I slid on a chair in front of her. 

“Merlin,” she said. I chuckled, taking her in. She looked the same from the last time I saw her which was on the New Year’s Eve party. She was still as beautiful. Only difference I could see was that there was a silver ring with a diamond on it on her left ring finger. 

“Well,” I said. “You weren’t kidding when you told me Toby proposed.”

She tossed her head back and laughed, dropping the menu on the table before she stood up. “Stand up and hug me, you idiot,” she said. I grinned and did just that. I hugged her tight, sighing as she melted in my embrace. She pulled away before she patted my cheek and took a step back, going back to sit down. 

“Are you happy?” I asked her as I sat back down as well. 

“Yes,” she said. “He’s…something.”

“I’m glad, Morgana,” I said. She smiled warmly at that. 

“Well, it’s been six months since I’ve last seen you,” she said. “Besides our Sunday Skype video calls and occasional calls and texts, I admit, after Stanley, I don’t know if you’re still single or—”

“Morgana,” I said, fondly. “You know I’m too busy to date nowadays.”

“Yes, I know,” she said. “But still, Merlin. When was the last time you even got laid?”

I blinked at her.

“Uhm…never?” I said. 

“Oh yes, yes, forgive me for forgetting you’re still a virgin,” she said, smirking. I blushed. 

“You know I’m waiting for the right one,” I said. 

“And by right one you mean when you’re married,” she pointed out.

“What’s wrong with that?” I asked, tad defensive. 

“Nothing,” she said, her lips curled in a way that had my stomach flipping uneasily. “Nothing. I’m just worried for you, it’s all.”

“Why? I’m perfectly fine,” I told her, dropping my eyes to the menu in front of me. “I’m happy with my job,I still have you guys as my friends, I live in a nice cosy flat—”

“Your apartment could use an upgrade to be honest,” she said. She then corrected herself and said, “Sorry, a flat.”

“You’re becoming more and more American each time I see you,” I teased.

“Well,” she said, switching her accent to American. “It’s not like I can help it, dealing with Americans day in and day out.”

I shuddered. “Please do not speak to me in an American accent again. It makes you sound like a creeper. Trust me, you don’t sound American at all.”

“Oi,” she said, chuckling. “I have you know Toby is giving me lessons on speaking like an American.” She sighed, a happy look entered her eyes. “He’s such a nice man, Merlin.”

“Never thought I’d hear the day Morgana gushes about a man,” I said and Morgana snorted.

“Well, don’t change the subject,” she said. “You. What about you?”

“No, Morgana,” I said, shrugging. “I’m just not in any mood to date anyone. Besides, it’s not like I have the time.”

Morgana hummed as she looked at me. “You’re not…still hung up on him, are you?” she asked. I froze for a second before I gave her a smile. 

“You mean Arthur?” I said, watching her flinch. “You can say his name, you know. It’s not like I’ll break down or anything.”

“Uther is dead, Merlin,” she said. Her eyes turned serious. “You can tell him now.”

I shook my head. This was the millionth time I had this conversation with her. “And like I told you before, Morgana, what happens then? He still hates me. Do you think it’s easy to change an opinion of the person who broke your heart to pieces? I broke my promise to him to never leave him, to stay by his side, ‘Gana. He…It’s best like this. At least he’s someone now.”

“You mean an arrogant piece of shite?” she snapped. “He’s changed, you know. He became cold, arrogant, always thinking about money and status just like his Father. He’s not the sweet boy you knew.”

I tightened my grip on the menu. “And it’s because of me?” I asked.

“I’m not trying to blame you,” she said, her voice softening. “It’s…maybe if you could just talk to him, he’ll…he’ll be himself.”

“I don’t think so,” I said. “If that is the type of person he became then so be it. I can’t change that. As long as he’s not anything less than what he’s meant to be.”

“For God’s sakes,” Morgana said. “He’s dating bimbos. He keeps sleeping around.”

I flinched at that. I thinned my lips. “Isn’t he dating that actress?” I asked. “The one with strawberry blond hair and bottle shaped figure?”

“He dumped her. She was so dumb,” Morgana said. “I can’t believe I’m saying this but Sophia was ten times better and a hundred times smarter than that bimbo. And you? You were someone who changed his whole entire life, for better or for worse.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “Morgana, please,” I told her. “I can’t…I can’t do anything anymore.”

“You can,” Morgana said, pleading. “Please. He’s becoming like Uther. I—I can’t see him become like him. He’s not supposed to be like that.”

Her voice cracked and I watched in horror as her eyes filled with tears. 

“Morgana,” I said. 

“Please, just at least talk to him,” she said. “Even if you don’t tell him the truth, just make him see what a horrible person he’s becoming.”

“I…,” I said, my throat tightening. “Even…even if I want to help…he’s not in England.”

“He’s here,” Morgana said, her eyes hopeful. “He’s been here for a month. He needs to deal with some things to do with his inheritance since Uther died a few months back. But he’s here. Please. There’s…there’s this small gathering at the hotel’s bar where we’re staying.”

I chewed my bottom lip, feeling uneasiness crawling under my skin. “I…I don’t know,” I breathed out.

“Please,” Morgana said. “It just won’t be you alone. Will, Lancelot, Leon, Gwen, Percival, Gwaine, all of them are coming too. Please?”

“Fine,” I said, swallowing the bile that was rising in my throat. I felt sick. “Okay,” I said. “But…but, Morgana. I…If at any time of the night I want to leave…you have to let me go.”

She touched my hand and nodded. “Just say something to him,” she said.

“And if he doesn’t listen?” I asked.

“Then, at least…at least I know that he’s too late to save,” she said, her voice weak. “Because he’s always listened to you.”

I kept quiet, sighing.

 

***

 

“Mate,” Will said as he walked into my flat. “Mate, Arthur is going to be there.”

I winced as I closed the door. I finished buttoning up my sleeves. “I know,” I said. Will looked at me, his eyes searching my face. 

“And you’re going?” he demanded. 

“I—Morgana told me to come,” I told him, giving him a weak smile. 

Will frowned. “I know I talked about meeting with all of our friends for months but we don’t have to go if Arthur is going to be there.”

“I’m fine,” I said, taking in a deep breath. “It’s been six years, Will. I’ll look like a fool if I avoided him. It would just make it seem like…”

“Like you haven’t moved on from him?” Will questioned. I avoided his eyes as I moved past him to my bedroom, Will following me. 

“Yeah,” I said. “Not that I haven’t, that is. I did.”

Will didn’t say anything but I could feel his disbelief on his face. “You rejected Stanley when he wanted to go steady with you!” he said.

I made a face at the mention of my ex-boyfriend of six months. “We’ve only been dating a few months,” I told him, shrugging as I went to look for a pair of grey socks. “He told me he loved me.”

“Merlin, you fell in love with Arthur after dating him for three months,” he said, incredulously. I sighed and slammed my drawer door shut, in my hand was the pair of socks I was looking for. 

“Can you all just stop with comparing my ex-boyfriends with Arthur?” I asked, turning to look at him. 

“That’s because you won’t stop choosing blond jerks,” Will said as he walked to my bed and sat on it. “Stanley was like the only decent blond I met from the list of your ex-boyfriends.”

“I only dated like three people after Arthur, Will,” I deadpanned and sat next to him, wearing my socks. “And none of them lasted more than a few months.”

“That’s because you wouldn’t give them a chance,” Will said. “Not that I liked any of your boyfriends.” After a second, he added, “Except Stanley. Stanley was nice.”

“Stanley was boring,” I said. 

“How?” he asked. “He’s such a romantic. He gave you a bouquet of roses for Valentine’s.”

“I mean, who does that?” I said, scrunching my nose up. “That’s so sappy.”

Will quietened. “You used to love all those romantic gestures, you know.”

“Yeah, well,” I said, stopping for a second. “That was before I realised that love is nothing like how I imagined it to be. I was an idiot. I was naive. Now, I’m not. Anyway.” I stood up, patting my thighs. “Let’s go, we’re going to be late.”

Will grabbed my wrist and halted me, a grim smile on his face. “I miss you, sometimes, you know.”

I blinked at him. “We meet all the time.”

“No,” he breathed out, shaking his head. “Never mind. Come on.”

Confused and perplexed, I followed him out of the bedroom. But I didn’t make any move to question him further about his statement, instead, I let it stew in my mind for a while. 

Could I have changed as much as Arthur did?

 

***

 

The hotel bar was quite big. It had to be for a five star hotel. I shivered slightly from the cold gust of air conditioner as I walked into the bar. There was soft music playing and murmurs of people talking. I let my eyes scan the dimly lit atmosphere before I saw a group of people sitting at one of the big tables, usually reserved for large number of guests. 

Will touched my elbow. “I think that’s them,” he said. 

I nodded and we both walked to the table. Morgana, who already spotted us the minute we walked into the bar, stood up with a gentle smile on her face. “You two made it,” she said. Will grinned. 

“Hey, Morgana,” he said. Morgana hugged him tight before she looked at me. 

“Hi,” I said. Morgana sighed as relief washed in her eyes. A man then stood up next to her, grinning. 

“Hi,” he said. I shook his hand and Will did too. 

“Congratulations,” I said. 

“Well,” he said, shrugging. He then kissed Morgana’s cheek. “She was always my shining star.”

“Gag,” Will teased. 

“Toby,” Morgana said, her cheeks flushing as a pleased smile crawled on her lips. 

Then, I saw Gwen and Lancelot, already standing up to greet us. Gwen held her pregnant stomach as she patted my shoulder, a grin on her face. 

“The more I see you, the more you’re glowing,” I said. Gwen beamed. She rubbed her stomach before she patted her husband, Lancelot. 

“He thinks so too,” Gwen said. “But I think I’m just getting a tad too big.”

“Nonsense,” Morgana said, admonishing her gently. “You’re still beautiful, Gwen.”

“Listen to them,” Lancelot said, kissing her temple. “You’re still so beautiful, especially when you’re with our first child.”

“Oh God, guys,” I teased. “Have you guys grown ten times cheesier since the last time I’ve seen you two?”

Lancelot had the decency to blush but Gwen simply giggled. 

“Where’s the rest?” Will asked, his voice careful. 

“They’ll be here soon,” Morgana said as she gestured for us to sit. I sat next to Will, taking in a deep breath. 

“Would you two like anything?” Toby asked.

“No, not now,” I said. 

“Uh, not really either,” Will said. I grabbed his knee to calm down his jittering. I knew why he was nervous. Leon was going to be here. 

“It’s going to be fine,” I told him and Will only gave me a half-hearted smile. 

“Sorry, we’re late!” Gwaine said as he slammed his hands on the table, startling everyone. 

“Gwaine!” Lancelot said as he tugged Gwen close to him. “You’ll give my wife a heart attack!”

“Sorry,” Percival said as he came to stand next to Gwaine. “He’s been pretty excited since this morning.”

Gwaine grinned before he turned to look at Percival, leering. “You didn’t seem to complain.”

Percival reddened and shook his head, sighing. 

“You two never change,” Will snorted. 

Gwaine grinned before he pushed Morgana to make room on the seats. “Scoot in, soon-to-be-married-woman,” he teased. Morgana chuckled as she scooted. Percival sat next to him, greeting everyone before he looked at me. 

“Hey,” he said and I have him a wave. 

“I can’t believe it’s been six months since we’ve last seen each other,” Gwaine said. 

“I know,” I said, humming. Then, all eyes were on me. “What?”

“You know who’s also coming, right?” Gwaine asked, his lips thinning. 

“Arthur,” I said, nodding. “I know.”

They looked mildly confused except for Morgana who knew why I was here and Toby, who seemed indifferent since he didn’t have much to say about my predicament. 

“I’m just,” I said. “I’ve moved on.”

Lancelot was the first one to cough. Gwen swatted his chest.

“Okay, guys, stop,” I said. “Just because I don’t have a steady boyfriend, doesn’t mean I’m still hung up on him. From what I’m hearing, he’s a prat, a real one, now, anyway. Prats are not my type.”

“The money got to his head,” Lancelot said. “We haven’t see him for—how long has it been? Four years?”

“Four and a half, yeah,” Morgana said with a bite to her lips. “After that fight between Gwaine and him.”

“Well, he was acting like a bastard,” Gwaine grumbled, a frown on his face. “He said some things I wanted to punch him for, so I did.”

“You never told me what he said,” I said. Everyone grew still. 

“It’s nothing,” Gwaine said, clearing his throat. 

“And I know it’s probably about me,” I said, rubbing a hand down my face. “Alright, whatever. Past is in the past. I think I’m going to buy something to drink now.”

“I’ll go,” Toby said as he stood up. “You people catch up.”

“Thanks, honey,” Morgana said. 

“Sure thing,” Toby said with a soft smile, walking away from the table.

“Wait, I haven’t told you what I wanted—never mind,” I said, watching Toby walking away. I chuckled, shaking my head. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” Gwen asked. 

“I’m fine,” I said. “Guys, I’m serious.”

Morgana sighed before she gave me a smile. Then, her green eyes flickered at the entrance of the bar before she grinned, waving her hand to the table. I froze for a second but it was long enough for Will to look at me, his eyebrows raised with a knowing look. I ignored him and turned my head to look at who Morgana had spotted. 

It was Will’s turn to freeze when I saw Leon, looking handsomer than he had been back in school. He walked to our table, a grin on his face. 

“I’m here,” he said. And that was when Gwaine launched at Leon, hugging him. Percival hugged him next followed by Gwen, Lancelot and Morgana. I patted his shoulder and hugged him tight, Leon laughing.

“I missed you guys too,” he said as he let me go. Leon then looked at Will before his smile dimmed into a small one. He looked unsure. Will hesitated before he took a step towards him. “Hi,” he said, his eyes sparkling. 

Will reddened a bit before he nodded. Leon tugged him gently towards him and hugged him. I watched them for a while before I realised that they weren’t pulling away, Leon burying his face in Will’s shoulder. 

Morgana looked amused. 

“Maybe you both need a room,” Morgana stated, startling them both. Leon pulled away but he kept Will close to him. Then, I saw it. His hand slid down to Will’s hand and their fingers interlaced. 

“I knew it,” I said. 

Will choked as he turned to look at me, his face red as he tried to pull away from Leon but Leon held on tight. 

“You two are dating!” Lancelot crowed. “I knew it!”

“Will has been acting secretive these past few months,” I said. “Always texting and grinning like a lunatic. Alas, I know why. I suspected but.”

“Leon wouldn’t shut up about Will whenever he gets drunk,” Lancelot said. 

Leon chuckled, tugging Will close before he draped his arm across this shoulders. Will sighed, a warm smile on his face. 

“You guys suck,” he said. “Especially you, Merlin.”

“I love you too, mate,” I said. Will rolled his eyes. 

Leon sat next to Will as Will curled closer to him. I smiled at them both, my heart thumping in slight jealousy. But most part of me was happy for them. 

“How did you two get together?” Percival asked. 

“Oh,” Leon said. “Well, I saw Will at the grocery store and I—asked if he was single and if he would like to grab a drink some time.”

“And you fell for that?” Lancelot barked out laughing. “That’s such a cliche way of asking someone out.”

“Not everyone has me to help you get a lover, Lancelot,” Morgana said, dryly. I laughed. 

“Well,” Will said with a shrug as he glanced at Leon. “I waited for him.”

Leon smiled, his face softened. 

“Here you guys go,” Toby said as he came back, placing the tray of drinks on the table. His eyes landed on Leon and Will. “Oh, hi!”

“Hey, Toby,” Leon said. 

“I’ll go order more drinks,” Toby said but Percival shook his head.

“Sit down, mate,” Percival said. “I’ll go get it now. Your turn to mingle.”

Toby grinned and sat next to Morgana. I took a random drink from the tray and sipped it. 

I winced at the burn in my throat, putting the glass back on the table. 

“You never liked drinking,” Gwaine said.

“Yeap,” I said, shaking my head. “I hate how it tastes.”

Morgana chuckled.

“I got you some fruit juice,” Toby said as he handed a glass of fruit punch or something to Gwen. 

“Thank you, Toby,” Gwen said with a smile. Lancelot smiled at Toby gratefully.

“No problem, Gwen,” Toby said. 

We talked for a while and I started to relax when Morgana stiffened. 

I looked at her, raising my eyebrows. And then the whole table grew silent when someone stood in front of us. I didn’t look at the person, my grip on my phone that I was playing idly with tightened. I looked at the table, my heart tugging in my chest when I heard his voice for the first time in six years. 

“Well, I can see that I missed quite a bit since the last time I saw you lot,” Arthur said. 

“Arthur,” Morgana said, smiling weakly at him as she stood up. “You finally came.”

“Sorry, I’m late, ‘Gana,” Arthur said, chuckling. My heart thumped painfully once at that sound. It used to sound so light, so beautiful and now, it sounded fake, strained, cold. Morgana faltered a bit before she hugged him tight. 

“You…brought a guest,” Lancelot said, his voice tight. Arthur hummed. 

“This is Yvonne,” Arthur said. 

“Hello,” a feminine voice said, confident with a Swedish accent. I glanced up at Will, who was looking at Arthur with wide eyes. When he looked at me, he flinched. I just gave him a small smile. 

“Guinevere,” Arthur said. “You’re pregnant.”

“First child,” Gwen said, smiling at him. “You look good.”

“Yes, thanks,” Arthur said. “That’s what you get when you take over your father’s law business.”

“Hey, Arthur,” Percival said as he came back with drinks. I still didn’t bother to look at him. I didn’t want to. I knew what will happen. 

“Percival,” Arthur said. “It’s nice to see you.”

“You too,” Percival said. 

“Come, sit down,” Toby said, trying not to sound too awkward. I almost laughed at him. 

“Thank you,” the Swedish bimbo said as she sat in front of me next to Percival. Arthur took a seat next to her. I placed my phone on the table before I took my drink and sipped it. Everyone grew silent. I glanced at them before I raised my eyebrows. 

I took in a gulp of the drink, holding back a wince at the burn before I finally looked at him. 

My breath hitched in my throat when I met his blue eyes, dangerously sharp. He looked handsomer than the last time I saw him. He was fitter too. He was wearing a suit and it curved on him in a way that showed off his muscles and the hidden strength in a way that I knew he liked to wear his clothes. He looked good. 

But—that was all there it was to him.

Just like Morgana said, I couldn’t recognise him when I looked at him in the eyes. They were cold, merciless, a different person than the person I had known. 

“Hello,” I said, keeping my voice calm. I looked at the Swedish woman, who was looking at Arthur with a confused smile before she looked at me. She was breathtakingly beautiful and she fit well on his arm. I wished that scene didn’t send a pang of pain through my heart because I did this, I let him go. 

And I had to, I reminded myself. 

I gave Yvonne a smile, a polite one. “Nice to meet you. I’m Merlin.”

Yvonne grinned then. “Hi, I’m Yvonne. Nice to meet you too.”

I nodded before looking back at Arthur. “You look good,” I said. Arthur smiled then, a quirk of his lips but they looked mean. 

“I know,” he said, his arrogance seeping through his tone. 

“So,” Leon said, breaking the atmosphere. “It’s been four and a half years, Arthur.”

Arthur broke his eye contact from me and looked at him. “I know,” he said. “I stayed away on purpose.”

“Prick,” Gwaine murmured. Arthur snorted. 

“Whatever, Gwaine,” Arthur said. 

I raised my eyebrows at the scene.

“Can we not do this?” Morgana said, almost tiredly. She eyed me as if she was saying ‘See what I meant?’ and I guess I could see that. 

“How did you two meet?” I asked, everyone looking at me. Yvonne blinked before she smiled, touching Arthur’s arm. 

“I met him while I was in Malibu,” she said. 

“We met and fucked,” Arthur said, bluntly. Yvonne seemed taken aback at that and Lancelot coughed loudly, in shock. 

There was something ugly in me that wanted to tell him that I didn’t leave him so he could turn into a prick. But I held it back. 

“You don’t have to be so blunt,” Yvonne said, sounding displeased. 

“But that is what happened, isn’t it, _darling_?” Arthur said, the pet name sounding almost like a mock. Yvonne flinched. I sighed, rubbing a hand on my cheek. 

This wasn’t who I thought Arthur was going to be. 

“How long have you been together?” Gwen asked, trying to be polite.

“Not long,” Arthur said. 

“Let the lady answer,” Gwaine said. 

“She doesn’t have to,” Arthur said. “She’s the one who insisted on coming.”

Yvonne reddened in embarrassment and I almost felt pity for her. Almost. I was mostly getting irritated with him to feel pity. 

“Arthur,” she said. Morgana sharpened her gaze on Arthur. 

Arthur rolled his eyes before he leaned close and pecked Yvonne’s temple. “Happy?” he asked, almost like what he did was a chore. 

Just…who was this man in front of me?

“You look the same,” Arthur said, catching my attention. 

“Oh, well,” I said, shrugging. “Yeah.”

“You’re still a scrawny little thing,” Arthur remarked, almost bored. I flinched visibly at that. I remembered a time when Arthur used to say that and it was filled with fondness. Now, now it just sounded cruel. 

“And you’re still a prat,” I said, my voice monotonous. “Lost your manners along the way to success, did you?”

Arthur’s eyes flashed. But then he grinned, sharp. “Oh, I see you didn’t lose your sassiness though.”

I eyed him for a second before I cleared my throat. “Yes, it’s my primary charm of attraction,” I told him. Arthur hummed. 

“Yes, heard you dated a few here and there,” Arthur said. “What happened to Stanley?”

I froze. Arthur looked at me innocently but I saw the curl of satisfaction in his blue eyes for having caught me by surprise. I looked at Morgana and she looked away.

“You told him,” I said, flatly. “Why?”

“I,” Morgana started. “It just came up in a conversation. I’m sorry.”

I sighed. I didn’t have anything against Morgana telling Arthur. I just wished she didn’t. I didn’t want him to know who I had been dating or who I had been with. 

“If Morgana told you then you should know what happened to Stanley, Arthur,” I said. 

“Yes,” Arthur said. “It seems you still haven’t lost that part of you either. The part that leaves when things get too complicated.”

“Arthur!” Morgana said. I stared at him, hurt curling in my chest but I knew I deserved it. I had broken his heart into pieces. I didn’t blame him. Even if I wished he would understand why I had to do it. I shook my head before giving him a smile, making him furrow his eyebrows. 

“Yeah, I guess that part is still there,” I said before I stood up, shoving my phone in my pockets. “I’m going to go to the loo.”

With that, I walked away to the loo, closing the door behind me before I walked to the sink. I stared at myself before I shook my head, washing my face and wiping the water with some tissues. “Really, Merlin,” I murmured to myself as I balled the tissues and threw them in the trashcan. “What was I expecting?”

My heart thumped against my chest at that. “Maybe I haven’t moved on after all,” I whispered to myself, staring at my reflection. I chuckled, humourlessly. 

The door to the loo opened and closed. When I saw who entered, I froze. I stared at his blue eyes through the mirror, my lips thinning. For a second, I saw a flash of the man I loved when he took in how I looked. But then it was quickly wiped away with a blank face and a cold smile. 

“You’re taking your time,” he said as he sauntered towards me. He stood right behind me, staring right back at me. I looked away from his face and turned around, startled when we were inches away. 

“Arthur,” I breathed out. My heart ached when I realised he still smelt the same, some men cologne with a hint of peaches. It almost made me laugh. “What are you doing?”

“Look me in the eyes,” Arthur said, grabbing my chin and tilting me back to look at him. His smile was gone, replaced with it was this—mask. I tried to pull away but my back dug against the sink counter and he pressed his body closer against mine. “You really haven’t changed,” he whispered. 

I let him touch me. I let him settle his other hand on my hip. I let him close the distance between our faces. But—I didn’t let him kiss me. I placed my hand on his mouth. 

“Don’t,” I told him. “You don’t want this.”

Arthur circled his fingers around my wrist and gently took it away from his mouth. He searched my face. “I don’t want a lot of things,” he said. “The things I do want though…”

“I’m not yours,” I told him, keeping my voice stern. “Not anymore. You have Yvonne.”

“Ugh, don’t talk to me about that woman,” Arthur snorted, his voice cruel. “She’s been trying to get me to fucking marry her when it’s clear that all I want from her is sex.”

I flinched at that. There it was—a reminder that this wasn’t the Arthur I knew. Maybe…maybe I could talk to him like Morgana wanted and leave. My fingers shook as I grazed his cheek. Arthur let me go like it burned him. He looked at me, distaste in his eyes. 

“Don’t touch me,” he said. 

I blinked at that, dropping my hands to my sides. “But you touched me.”

Arthur’s lips twitched into a smirk. 

I sighed. “You changed, a lot,” I said. “Why did you follow me here?”

“Maybe I just wanted to torment you,” Arthur said. “Or maybe I’m curious if you’re really as composed as you looked out there.”

“I’m not hung up on you anymore, you know,” I said. 

Arthur once again flattened me against the sink, his chest pressed against mine. A hand touched my cheek, his fingers cradling my jaw like he usually did when we dated. He hummed, looking at me. 

Before I could stop him, he leaned down and kissed me. It was like my body still remembered him even afterall these years and I couldn’t stop the breathless gasp that escaped my lips, my hands grasping his jacket, curling my fingers against it tight. My body tingled in a way that none of my ex-boyfriends had made me feel.

Shivers ran down my spine as I felt Arthur kissing me like he knew what I liked, how to kiss me, how to touch me. And he did. 

He always did. 

He pried open my mouth and his tongue met mine, making me keen into the kiss. I was gasping for my breath when he pulled away, his forehead pressed against mine. The old emotions, the pain, the love that I thought I managed to get over rushed back into me without mercy. 

My eyes filled with tears as I opened them. Arthur pulled away then, his hands leaving my body. It made me cold and I took in a shuddering breath. 

“If you’re not hung up on me, then why did you kiss me back?” Arthur asked. 

I had no answer for that. 

“What do you want, Arthur?” I said, trying to keep my voice steady. “Because if you’re trying to be cruel, then you’re succeeding.”

“I’m the cruel one now, am I?” Arthur said, almost amused. 

“You know I didn’t mean to hurt you that badly, Arthur,” I said. 

“You fucking shattered everything in me that day, Merlin,” Arthur hissed, once more grabbing my face and made me look into his eyes. I saw then, the flash of hurt and anger he still kept in him all these years. “Look at me when I talk to you. Look at how I am now. I…”

I searched his face. “I’m sorry,” I told him. “I had to let you go that day.”

“Yes,” he spat out. “Because being with me was such a burden.”

“Why are you dragging it all up now?” I asked, my heart hurting. “I know I hurt you. I’m sorry. Why can’t you move on? Why are you like this?”

“Like what?” he asked. “Successful? Rich? Powerful?”

“ _Cold_ ,” I whispered. He remained silent before his grip on my face loosened and he caressed my skin. 

“The only person I truly loved,” Arthur said, looking at me in the eyes. “Left me when I was feeling the coldest.”

“You’re becoming like your father,” I said. Arthur chuckled but it sounded hollow.

“Well,” he said, pulling back, straightening up. “I am a Pendragon.”

I looked at him before I looked away. 

“It’s nice to see you, Merlin,” Arthur said. “Maybe we’ll meet again.”

I snapped my gaze at him, confused. But he just looked back at me with a cool gaze. 

“Besides,” Arthur said. “You haven’t seen what I’m made out of yet. I’ll make you regret the day you left me shattered.”

My breath got caught in my throat. Arthur walked out of the loo then. I rubbed my face, trying to keep my emotions at bay but I couldn’t. Not when Arthur had dragged everything out in the open and left me raw. I didn’t think he would vengeful, but he was. In a way that I could only blame myself for it. 

I shook my head, taking in a few deep breaths before I steeled myself. 

I…I couldn’t let Arthur see me breaking down. If he wanted to punish me, I couldn’t let him win. It was for his own good when I left. I wouldn’t take that back no matter what happened. But Arthur didn’t know that. He didn’t know what Uther did behind his back to persuade me to leave him. 

He wouldn’t either.

 

***

 

The entire night, while the atmosphere calmed a bit when I came out of the loo, some of us were still on edge. Especially when Arthur was blatantly flirting with Yvonne, showering her with attention and praises, touching her like he used to do with me. Now that he had split me open raw in the loo, it hurt me in the most horrible way when I saw him doing this to her. 

I could still feel his lips on me by the time everyone decided to leave. Will grabbed my elbow as we walked away. I could feel Arthur’s eyes on me but I didn’t dare to look at him, refusing to give him the satisfaction that I had wanted nothing more than to cry. 

“Merlin,” he said once we were out of the hotel, walking down the pavement. “What happened in the loo? Arthur came out looking determined and the next thing we know, he was all over Yvonne.”

I winced at that. 

“He kissed me,” I told him, my voice flat. Will stopped walking, looking at me stricken.

“What?” he asked. 

“He…kissed me,” I said, my voice cracking. “He kissed me. And I kissed him back.”

“Merlin,” Will said. 

“Why did I do that?” I asked, panicked. “Oh God, I did that. I let him touch me. After all these years and I muck up with just one look from him. Just one touch.”

Will grabbed my shoulders and stopped me from moving around. He searched my face before he sighed. “Merlin,” he said. 

“He wants me to regret ever leaving him,” I choked out. “He’s going to do his best to hurt me like I hurt him, Will. I…He doesn’t understand that I loved him! It hurt me too. It…it hurt me too. You had no idea how long I cried in the rain after he left.”

“Then tell him, for God’s sakes,” Will snapped. “We’re not going to keep this a secret any longer, Merlin. One day, someone is going to snap and tell Arthur the truth. Gwaine almost said the truth to Arthur four and a half years ago. We only kept quiet until now because you made us promise not to tell him.”

I blinked through the tears. “I didn’t want him to become nothing,” I told him. “That’s why I left. And if I told him now…he’ll feel bad but there’s nothing else he could do. It’s too late.”

“He’ll at least forgive you,” Will said.

I shook my head. 

“God, you stubborn idiot,” Will breathed out. “Come on, let’s go home. I’ll stay with you tonight.”

“Thanks, Will,” I croaked out. 

“Don’t thank me yet,” Will mumbled. “I might end up punching Arthur across his face and tell him the truth.”

 

***

 

Arthur was suddenly _everywhere_. 

I didn’t know why this was happening but I was bumping into him everywhere. From the coffee shops nearby my workplace to the meetings with Morgana. He was always there. 

I felt my heart being ripped out of my chest every time I saw him. There was always this cruel glint in his eyes paired with amusement every time he managed to get a reaction out of me. I didn’t know how to tell him that I wanted him to be successful without me in the way. 

I didn’t. Instead, I let him torment me with him flaunting either his status, his fame, his money and most of all, the people he could be with him with just a snap of his fingers. 

I sighed, eyes blinking as the sleepiness tried to weigh me down. It had been about a full day since I last slept. The company I worked for wanted the blue prints for the building I was working on by tomorrow morning for the presentation. 

And the client was an arse, always changing details at the last minute. 

When the line moved, I took a step forward, waiting for the man in front of me to finish ordering his drink. I just want coffee. Black. Coffee. Bitter but awakening. 

The man moved away and I stepped up to the counter, ordering the coffee I wanted. 

Once I paid for my drink, I stood at the waiting counter. I almost dozed off when my coffee was ready. I grabbed the coffee, too tired to properly look around my surroundings, and bumped into the same man who stood in front of me from the line. My coffee spilt over his shirt and my eyes widened in horror as he scrambled to wiped it off. 

“Oh my God,” I squeaked, blinking a few times before I scrambled to touch his chest, to get rid of the coffee. The man though had managed to open a few buttons off his shirt so the coffee wouldn’t scald his skin. Then, the man looked at me with anger, burning anger, in his eyes and I felt dread pooling in my stomach. “I’m…I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to. I—I can—”

He grabbed the collar of my shirt and pulled me close. “You will pay for this,” he growled. 

I paled. 

“Please, sir,” I said touching his hand. “I’ll pay for the dry cleaning, just.”

He sneered and pushed me away. I slid on the coffee wet on the floor and fell on my arse. My cheeks burned in embarrassment as everyone quietened to stare at me, none helping me. 

The man looked at me with disgust. “You can’t even afford to dry clean this shirt with one year of your pay,” he yelled. “What are you going to do now, boy?”

“I,” I started. Tears burned in my eyes. “I’m sorry. I’m sure I can—”

“You will pay,” he said and took a step towards me, most probably to hurt me when someone stepped in between us. I took in shuddering breaths. 

“Stay back,” a familiar voice said, steeled and dark. “Get out of my sight.”

“He fucking did this on purpose!” the man yelled. “I want him to compensate for what he did to my shirt!”

The man shielding me with the familiar blond hair and strong shoulders took out his wallet and tossed a few hundred pounds at him. I watched the money fluttering and falling around the man’s feet, eyes wide. 

“Go,” Arthur said, his voice venomous and yet monotonous at the same time. The man paled as he glared at me from over his shoulders. The man was pushed back. “I said, go. Don’t look at him. There’s your money, go.”

“I don’t want your money anyway,” the man groused and turned around to flee. Everyone continued to remain quiet as Arthur bent down to pick the money up with a small click of his tongue. Then, he turned around to look at me. I stared at him from where I was on the ground. Arthur stuffed the money into his wallet before he shoved it in his trousers pockets. 

“Well?” Arthur asked. Just like that, the silence was broken and everyone had returned to what they were doing. I gulped a few times, looking away from him to stand up. My head spun around and I took in a deep breath, freezing when I felt Arthur holding my elbow tight. I realised that I had been dangerously close to toppling back on the ground if it wasn’t for Arthur holding me. 

“Sorry,” I said, my voice croaking as I pulled away from him. “Thanks.”

“You’re still a trouble magnet as ever,” Arthur murmured. I winced at that. 

“Sorry,” I said, pushing him away as I started to walk. I walked out of the coffee shop in daze, unsure of what I was doing anymore. The adrenaline from just now crashed and I sighed. I felt exhausted. 

I continued walking away, wondering what are the chances Arthur was the one who saved me. 

Again. Like he always did. 

It made me laugh even though tears were once more gathering in my eyes. 

I continued to aimlessly walk before someone grabbed my arm, turning me around. I took in a sharp gasp, placing a hand on Arthur’s chest to stop me from colliding against him. 

“Arthur?” I said, perplexed. 

“Come on,” Arthur said. “I know a proper coffee shop here.”

I didn’t get the chance to say no, instead, with his vice grip around my arm, he dragged me there. 

The coffee shop was quite high class, with glass panels almost everywhere and modern-styled chairs and tables. Arthur stirred me to a table and made me sit down on a chair before he walked to the counter. I blinked a few times, looking around at the place. It was located quite a bit farther from where I worked and it was located in the less busy part of the city. 

It was another ten minutes before Arthur came back with two cups of coffee. He placed a weird coffee concoction in front of me. I stared at it before I looked at him, who sat in front of me. He raised his eyebrows. 

“What?” he asked. 

“I want black coffee,” I said. 

“You’ll like this better,” he said as he pointed to the cup. I eyed him curiously as I looked at my cup, picking it up to sip the coffee. 

It tasted sweet. 

But it also had a twang of bitterness strong enough to wake me up. I hummed, relaxing in my seat as I continued to sip, my cheeks reddening when I realised what I was doing. 

We remained quiet for a while as I continued to drink, looking around the place to take everything in. 

“You look tired,” Arthur said, his voice low. I looked at him before I looked away. 

“Yeah, I haven’t slept for the past twenty-four hours,” I said, unsure as to why I was telling him this. 

Arthur frowned. There was a flicker of concern in his eyes before it was gone. My heart skipped a beat at that before I pushed that spark of hope from my chest. No. It was too late. 

“It’s just what I do,” I told him. “It’s my job.”

“Morgana said you’re an architect,” he said, nodding. 

“Yeah,” I said. 

“Seems like you’ve figured out what to do after all,” he mumbled. 

I didn’t answer him that, instead, I tightened my grip on the mug. 

“Why did you save me?” I asked. 

Arthur didn’t say anything for a while before he said, “I don’t know.”

I knew it was a lie the second I glanced at him but I didn’t call him out of it. 

“Why are you here?” I asked. “Not going to flaunt your new girlfriend or the latest case you’ve solved?”

Arthur looked contemplative, looking at me. 

“Do you want me to?” he asked, his voice soft. My heart raced in my chest but I refused to let it get to me. 

“No,” I said.

“Then I won’t,” he said with a shrug, like it was that easy. Like he hadn’t been tormenting me these past few weeks. 

“I don’t understand why you can’t leave me alone if you hate me so much,” I mumbled. 

Arthur laughed, but it sounded hollow. “That wouldn’t be much fun, now would it?” 

I scowled. 

“So, tell me about Stanley,” he said. I looked at him, furrowing my eyebrows. 

“Why do you care?” I said. 

“It’s just from what Morgana told me,” Arthur said. “Stanley seemed to be right in your alley.”

“I’m not interested in those things anymore,” I said, feeling this huge wave of sadness crashing in my chest. The truth was; I guess I always knew Arthur was the one who could make me feel weak in my knees with such gestures.

“Oh, really?” Arthur asked. “You don’t like bouquets of roses for Valentines and lavish dinners just to say ‘I love you’?” 

“You sound jealous,” I said. 

Arthur hummed. “I can do better,” Arthur said with a shrug. “I’ve always done better.”

I couldn’t help the urge to take him down a peg or two at that. “Yeah,” I snorted. “Sure.”

“What? You didn’t think I could do it?” Arthur asked. 

“Arthur,” I said. “You told me you loved me in a bookstore with me against the shelves.”

Arthur’s jaw clenched tight and I knew that I stroke a chord. 

“Sorry,” I said. “You know what? I should get back to my work. Thanks for the coffee.”

Arthur stood up before I could. He stared at me in the eyes. “I’ll see you around,” he said. And he left. I sighed, shaking my head before I placed my forehead on the table, not willing myself to cry because it wasn’t worth it. 

It wasn’t like Arthur would listen. _Give up, Merlin._

 

***

 

“No,” I said with a chuckle as Morgana latched on my arm. “Morgana!”

“Come on!” she pleaded. “I heard from Will you don’t even go to a pub anymore. Come to this club, please?”

“Why do you guys always gather in a place where there’s alcohol?” I whined. “Why not an ice-cream parlour for once?”

Morgana chuckled. “Come on, Merlin, please? Maybe you’ll even find someone too.”

“Morgana,” I said. “Morgana…I—”

“Look, I know…I know Arthur is being intolerable right now but,” Morgana said as she chewed her bottom lip. “I see some glimpse of the old him in there since he started to see you, Merlin.”

“Well, that’s great,” I said, sarcastically. “Meanwhile, he’s trying his best to make sure I regret ever leaving him.”

“Merlin,” she said. I sucked my bottom lip before I shook my head.

“Fine, fine,” I said. “Fine, I’ll come. If I find someone, maybe Arthur will leave me alone. Maybe he’ll understand that he doesn’t affect me anymore.”

Morgana looked at me dubiously. “But, he does affect you.”

“He doesn’t need to know that,” I said.

“I don’t understand why you won’t just clear this mess up,” Morgana said with a sigh. “Uther’s dead.”

“Because,” I said and then I stopped. “Because he’s better off without me.”

Morgana looked ready to slap me but I smiled. “Come on,” I said, cutting her off before she could even speak. “You said you wanted to try that new sandwich shop. I’ll come to the club tonight. Just text me the address and I’ll see you here.”

 

***

 

It was loud. 

The club was loud. 

And I hated it. 

How did I always agree to the things that I don’t even like? 

A habit I never grew out of, I suppose.

I was sitting in between Will and Gwaine as they talked, laughing. Leon came back with the drinks meanwhile Morgana and Toby had gone out to the dance floor. Percival looked half-drunk and I was just stuck. 

Stuck while I discreetly watched Arthur chatting up a brunette with a pretty face just a few feet away from the table. The woman giggled, tossing her hair back in a way that reminded me of that witch Morgouse. She had her hand flat against his chest and Arthur grabbed her hand, bringing her fingers to his lips as she giggled. 

I looked away, my heart aching in my chest. I stood up then, causing Will to topple a bit, stopped by Leon.

“Where you goin’?” Will slurred. 

“To the bar,” I said, not even bothering to talk to them properly. I sat on one of the unoccupied stools and signalled the bartender for something to drink. Though, I still preferred nonalcoholic drinks. The bartender gave me an amused smile when he took my order. 

“Not much of a drinker?” the bartender asked. I shrugged. 

“I just never liked the taste,” I said. The bartender hummed as he placed the beverage in front of me, winking. I chuckled at him. 

“Maybe you just never tasted a good mix,” he said. “I can make you one, if you’d like.”

“No, it’s fine,” I said, giving him a smile. “I like to stay sober tonight.”

“Ah,” the bartender said. “Rare to find those here.”

I cracked a grin at that, causing the bartender to smile back, charmingly. My cheek reddened a bit when I realised that his eyes shimmered in a way that sent weird flutters in my stomach. Oh…oh, the bartender was coming onto me. 

“Uhm, yeah,” I said, laughing nervously as I sipped my drink. 

“So, you came here alone?” he asked.

“Ah, no,” I said. “I came with my friends.”

I pointed to the table where my friends were. The bartender looked to see before he nodded, looking back at me with another charming grin. “Then why are you sitting here by your lonesome?”

I shrugged. “My ex-boyfriend is being a jerk, so I came to clear my head here instead.”

The bartender’s eyebrows raised. “Huh,” he said. “Which one is your ex?”

“The blond one,” I said, not bothering to point at who it was. 

“There’s a lot of blond, my friend,” he said. 

I shrugged.

“I get it,” the bartender said. “I get it. Not a good break-up then?”

“I broke his heart,” I said. “To pieces. Because his father threatened to ruin his future if I stayed.”

“Yikes,” the bartender said, wincing. 

“I didn’t tell him why I broke up with him,” I said. “I told some lies instead like how I couldn’t stand him anymore and such.”

The bartender grimaced. “Sorry for that, mate,” he said.

“Nah,” I said with a sigh. “I deserved the pain he’s putting me through now. I did break his heart.”

“Well, you know, if you want to really clear your head, why not go and dance?” he said. 

“I’m not a good dancer,” I said, pinking. 

“Who cares?” he said. “Just go out there and have fun, forget about everything for a while.”

I licked my lips before nodding. It didn’t sound so bad. Maybe I could do that.

“Sure,” I said, standing up. “Thanks for listening.”

“Hey, it’s no problem,” the bartender said with a smile. I waved at him, finish drinking the beverage before I walked to the dance floor. Immediately, people crowded all around me and they started moving. I felt stuck for a while, unsure of what to do before I tilted my head back, listening to the music. 

I was just going to forget.

Forget about this pain in my chest, forget about today, forget about Arthur and most of all, forget about how much I still love him even after all these years. 

And I danced. 

I moved about, laughing a bit when I realised how silly I must look but I didn’t care. 

I let myself forget. 

Until a pair of arms wrapped around my waist and dragging me close to a chest. I closed my eyes and took in a shuddering breath, realising immediately who it was when I smelt his cologne. 

I tried to move away but the arms tightened around me. “Arthur,” I breathed out, breath hitching in my throat when I felt his nose dragging along my neck. 

“Didn’t know you could dance,” Arthur whispered against my ear. I shuddered against him.

“What are you doing?” I asked. I yelped when I was turned around. He dragged me close, his eyes burning into mine with an intensity that sent my heart racing. 

“You make me crazy,” Arthur said, breathing against my skin as he dragged his lips down my neck again before he latched at the back of my ear. I groaned and touched his neck, wrapping my arms around him. 

“Like you don’t,” I retorted. He pulled away and slammed our lips into a harsh kiss. I keened and kissed him back, running a hand through his hair, pushing my body against him. He pushed his tongue into my mouth, making me feel more and more intoxicated the longer he kissed me. When I pulled away, he pulled me back in and kissed me again. 

“God,” Arthur breathed out as he pulled away. 

I blinked a few times, trying to get my head to work straight. I touched his shoulder before I shook my head and pulled away. Arthur immediately grabbed my wrist and pulled me back in. 

“Where are you going?” Arthur said. 

“Let…let me go,” I said, my eyes watering as everything crashed into me. I couldn’t do this. Arthur stared at me for a while before he did let me go. I pushed past everyone, rushing out of the club. I took in shuddering breaths once I was out on the streets. The fresh cool air took my breath away as I leaned against the wall. 

Someone stood next to me but I didn’t bother looking. 

“Leave me alone,” I said. “Enough already. Leave me alone.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Come on, let’s get you home.”

I pulled away before he could even touch me. I started to walk only to be halted by a hand on my elbow. I pushed him away and turned to look at him. 

“Stop,” I said. Arthur thinned his lips as he dropped his hands to his sides. “Stop. I get it. You hate me. You’re trying to punish me. I get it. But stop. I’m done. I don’t want to do this anymore.”

“Merlin,” Arthur said. “Come on, let me take you home.”

“Why?” I demanded. “What for? So you can kiss me again? Make me…make me…”

I took in a shuddering breath. 

“Make you what?” Arthur asked as he took a step towards me. 

“Don’t do this to me,” I pleaded. “I’m sorry.”

Arthur touched my face and caressed my cheeks and I was done. I leaned my forehead against his shoulder and cried. Arthur hugged me tight like he had always done whenever I got like this. He pressed his face against my shoulder and held me. 

He sighed against me. “Let’s go,” he said. I pulled away, wiping my eyes even if the tears kept rushing down my cheeks. He didn’t say anything as he held my hand and pulled me to his car. I let him push me on the passenger seat and he tugged the seatbelt over me. Soon, he was driving me out of there and I lied my head against the window, confused and more raw than ever. 

“I don’t hate you,” Arthur said in the silence. I glanced at him before I looked away. 

“You don’t have to lie,” I said. “I broke your heart. I know how much that could hurt someone.”

“I used to hate you,” Arthur said. “But I don’t really now.”

“Oh,” I said. I didn’t know what to say to that. 

“I still can’t look away from you,” Arthur said. “Even after all these years, you still catch my eye like nobody else can.”

I felt a shy smile crawling on my lips. “If that was true,” I said. “You wouldn’t have gone off with that brunette.”

Arthur hummed. He glanced at me. “You’re jealous?”

I scoffed but it sounded weak. “No.”

“You seemed busy with the bartender,” Arthur said. 

“Now who’s being jealous?” I said. Arthur snorted. 

“I left her behind the minute I saw you on the dance floor,” Arthur said. 

I stilled at that before I relaxed. “What do you want from me, Arthur?” I asked, tiredly. “Let’s not play anymore games. Just…tell me what you want.”

Arthur remained quiet before he said, “I want to know what I did wrong.”

“Wrong?” I asked. 

“Why did you leave me, Merlin?” Arthur asked. “I was so in love with you. I was ready to leave everything behind for you if you stayed. If you only stayed.”

I sniffed, wiping my face as I shrugged. “I told you why.”

“Bullshit,” he growled, startling me. “I…I saw you.”

“What?” I asked.

“Fucking hell, I saw you, Merlin,” he snapped. “I saw you crying in the rain. You cried…for so long.”

My heart stopped beating as my eyes widened. I sat up straighter to look at him. 

“W—what?” I said. 

Arthur pulled over his car, taking off his seatbelt to look at me. My breath hitched when he tugged my seatbelt off too. “Tell me the truth,” Arthur said. “God, Merlin, just tell me why you left me? Why you sounded like you’re done with me but then I find you crying in the rain like I was the one who broke you into pieces?”

I shook my head. “Why does it matter now? You’re—Why?”

“Because I’m not happy!” Arthur yelled as he slammed a hand on his steering wheel, startling me. He took in deep breaths as he ran his hand down his face. “I…I missed you, so much. I tried so hard to forget about you but I can’t. Every time I look at you, I’m stuck. I can’t help myself but to get angry that you moved on. Jealous that you let other men touch you.”

“Don’t,” I choked out as I opened the car door and got out, taking in deep breaths. Arthur got out of the car as well. 

“No, no, stop,” Arthur said as he walked around the car and grabbed me by my shoulders, slamming me against the vehicle. “Stop, enough. I know there’s something else you’re hiding. Talk to me. What the hell happened that day?”

“Why now?” I said. “Why after all this time?”

Arthur searched my face before he said, “Because my father is dead. So, tell me why now.”

I choked down a sob. That was when I saw Arthur. The real Arthur. The one who cared a lot for everyone, the one who had a heart of gold. The one who I loved and still loving. Arthur touched my face, his own eyes filled with sadness. 

“Because,” I said, giving up. “Because your father is right.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows, confused. “What do you mean?”

“He came to my house,” I told him. Once I started, I couldn’t stop. “He came to my house that day after you met me at the bookstore. He threatened me, Arthur. He told me he’ll ruin your future. Make you have nothing more than five pounds in your pockets and you working as low as a janitor. He threatened to make you miserable. And…and I don’t want that.”

Arthur tightened his grip on my face, his shoulders tensed. 

“You don’t deserve to become nothing, Arthur,” I said. “You’re supposed to be somebody and I can’t be the one who stands in your way. You have no idea how much it hurt me to let you go that day. I cried and cried and I couldn’t get over you at all for almost a year. I almost butchered my A-levels. All the while, all I wanted was to tell you that I wanted you back. I loved you so much but I can’t be the reason twenty years down the road you’re regretting your choices. I…I don’t think I’ll be able to take it if you hated me then. So…I let you hate me now so it would hurt less.”

Arthur remained quiet before his eyes filled with tears. “You idiot,” he breathed out. “You fucking idiot.”

“I’m sorry,” I cried. I grabbed his hands and clenched his fingers. “I never meant to hurt you. I just had to so you wouldn’t—”

“You wouldn’t have held me back!” Arthur yelled in my face before he cried. “You wouldn’t have held me back, you idiot. You would’ve been the reason I pushed myself. I would’ve worked so hard because of you.”

“Or…,” I said. “Or you would’ve hated me for dragging you down.”

“I loved you,” Arthur said as he hugged me tight. I hugged him back, tucking my nose against his neck. “I fucking loved you. I wouldn’t have hated you. Merlin, even if I ended up as a nobody, you would’ve made me feel like I was the luckiest person alive. How could you have not known that, you idiot?”

“He threatened my Mum too, Arthur,” I choked out. “What else was I supposed to do?”

“Fuck you, you should’ve told me this,” Arthur choked out. “God, I knew something was wrong when I saw you crying. I wanted so badly to hug you, to hold you. I should have stayed. I should have been stubborn about letting you go.”

“I’m sorry for hurting you,” I said. 

“You hurt me so much,” Arthur said. 

“I’m sorry,” I said. 

We didn’t say anything else anymore. We just held each other for a while before Arthur pulled away. I saw the warmth in his eyes. He was back. He was back and I didn’t know how to feel about that. He brushed my cheeks with his fingers. 

“Do you still love me?” he asked. 

I looked away but he simply tilted my head until I looked at him. 

“No more lies, just the truth,” he said. “Only the truth. At least, give me with this.”

“Yes,” I said. “Yes, I still love you.”

“All this time,” Arthur said as he shook his head, pressing his forehead against mine. “All this time.”

“Arthur…,” I said. 

“Give me time,” he said as he looked at me in the eyes. 

“Give you…time for what?” I asked. 

“Give me time to think about how I feel about you,” Arthur said. 

“Arthur, no,” I said. “No, I don’t want you—”

“Don’t you want me back?” he asked. I opened my mouth but I was stopped by the seriousness in his eyes. 

“Yes,” I said. “Of course I want you back. You’re the only one I wanted, Arthur. But…how could you? How could we be together after all that happened?”

“We can,” Arthur said. “You didn’t want to leave me. You never wanted to leave me. I believe you.”

“Arthur,” I breathed out.

“Give me time,” Arthur said. “Let me get my head straight, get some of my feelings sorted out and I’ll come looking for you again. I know I’m asking a lot but wait for me until then.”

“What if…,” I said. “What if you don’t love me?”

Arthur brushed his lips with mine. “I’ll learn to love you again,” Arthur said. His voice was serious and I couldn’t help but to redden at that. 

“You will?” I asked with guarded hope. 

“Yeah,” Arthur said. “Yes. You’ve always been so easy to love.”

I closed my eyes and sighed. “What about…all those…girls?”

“Oh, Merlin,” Arthur said. “If only you knew how long it took me to move on. Only that I never did, it seemed. You’re mine, Merlin. You’ve always been mine. I need you back.”

I touched his face and opened my eyes. “Come back to me,” I said, my voice thick of emotions. 

“I’m not letting you go,” Arthur promised as he hugged me again. I cried again as I was held in his embrace. I felt safe like I always did. “I forgive you.”

***

 

“You told him the truth,” Morgana said through the phone. I was sitting on my sofa in my living room, knees hugging my chest.

“Yeah,” I said. “He pried it out of me.”

“Good,” Morgana said. “Because my brother got a hell lot better. And also the fact he’s been acting like a total dork trying to figure out how to woo someone back.”

I blushed red. “W—what?” I said. “No, he isn’t. He hasn’t even contacted me since I told him the truth two weeks ago.”

“Patience,” Morgana said. “Trust me, he’s not going to let you go easily this time.”

I opened my mouth to retort when my doorbell rung. I furrowed my eyebrows. “Someone’s at the door, I’ll call you back later,” I told her. I ended the call with a short bye and headed to the door. I opened the door, my breath hitching when I saw who was standing in front of me. 

“A—Arthur,” I said. 

“Hey,” Arthur said. In his hands was a huge bouquet of roses. He handed it over to me and I took them, my eyebrows raising as my heart stuttered against my chest. I held it tight as I stared at him. 

“W—what are…these?” I asked, unsure of how to take this. My cheeks bloomed red when Arthur grinned at me. That smile. That look on his face. I knew that look. Arthur took a step towards me.

“Aren’t you going to invite me inside?” he asked. 

“Uh, yeah,” I said. I walked inside, letting Arthur close the door. I placed the flowers gently on the kitchen table. I searched the kitchen to try and find a vase or a glass big enough for me to stand them in. Once I found it, I placed the bouquet in the big glass, taking a step back to admire them. They were pretty. 

Arthur walked into the kitchen, smiling when he saw me. He leaned against the kitchen archway. 

“Do you like them?” he asked. I looked at the flowers, unable to resist the urge to caress the flower petals. 

“Yeah, I do,” I said, smiling happily. Arthur chuckled, his cheeks pinking a bit. I looked at him, searching his face before I took a step towards him. “Why are you here?”

“I told you I’ll come back, didn’t I?” he said, his voice soft and warm. My heart raced against my chest at that. Arthur pushed himself to stand straighter and walked to me, grabbing my hands as he caressed my palms. I looked at him in the eyes. “If you want, I want you back. I want us to get together again.”

My breath hitched in my throat. “You do?” I said in disbelief. “After I hurt you that badly—”

“You did what you had to,” Arthur said. “I want to start new with you. I want us to forget about the past. I…I just want you back, Merlin.”

“Do…do you love me?” I asked. Arthur chuckled as he dragged me close. 

“I never stopped,” he said. “I was hurt and it made me hate you for a while but—I loved you too much to hate you for too long. I was gone for you all over again the minute I saw you.”

I hugged him tight then, my body trembling from the happiness. “I love you,” I told him. “I love you so much.”

“You have to promise me something if we do this, Merlin,” Arthur said as he held me back. “You have to be honest with me. No more lies. No more hiding things from me.” Arthur pushed me away a bit before he touched my face. “And especially when you think you’re doing it for my good, talk to me. Don’t keep secrets from me. That’s all I’m asking from you.”

“I will,” I said. “I promise.”

“And in return,” Arthur said. “I’ll always take care of you. I never stopped even when we broke up.”

“You’re back,” I said in awe, touching his face. He laughed, grinning. 

“I’m back,” he said. “Forever this time, if you’ll have me.”

“Yes,” I said. 

Arthur kissed me then. It was a chaste kiss but it was different from all our previous kisses. It tasted like a new start and it warmed my heart. 

“I didn’t think you’ll ever be mine again,” I said. Arthur brushed our noses together. 

“Well, I am now,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “And I’ll never leave. Even if one day you get tired of me, I’ll fight to stay.”

“I’ll never get tired of you,” I promised. “I never did back then and I never will now.”

“Good,” Arthur said, his blue eyes looked bright and happy, shimmering in happiness. He wiped the tears that seem to have slipped past my eyes without me realising as he kissed my forehead. 

“God, I missed you,” I said. 

“Me too,” he told me. “Nobody else made me feel the way you did.”

“No one else did make me feel like you do too,” I said. “Like I could be safe if you’re around. That everything will be fine if you just looked at me.”

Arthur smiled, warmly. “Me too.” He chuckled before he looked at the roses. “So, about your preference for romantic gestures…”

I laughed as I hugged him again. “I think I’m beginning to like them again.”

“Good because I’m still the best at it,” Arthur said. 

“Even if you’re not a romantic person?” I teased. 

“For you, I become one,” he said, amused. “You bring out the weirdest part of me.”

“I love you,” I said. 

Arthur buried his face in my shoulder. “I love you too,” he said. 

And it felt like a promise. 

It felt like hope.

And my heart healed. All the pain washed away. 

And everything suddenly seemed crystal clearer. 

We came back together again. And this time, I felt like we would last forever like we wanted to. 

 

  **THE END**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: Woah, so. Guys. The end. Hahaha, as I was saying, stay tuned for more Merthur. I actually have planned like two more one-shots or like 1-3 chaptered long stories. One is a [Mob Boss!Arthur & Magic!Merlin] and the other is [Demon!Arthur & Wizard!Merlin]. I'll be posting them soon and also will be continuing with the other two stories I got going on! Anyways, guys, thank you so much to those who have read, commented, subscribed, bookmarked and gave this story a kudos. To those who have commented all this while, I love you guys. You make my morning happy with your comments and I hope to see you guys in the other two stories as well. <33333 //infiniteloveforallofyou// Let me know what you guys think of this and well--see you guys in my other stories and in future works~! -Krystal


	25. Five Snippets of PPOCH

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I own nothing but the plot!
> 
> A/N: YEAP. YEAP. Okay. So. I couldn't let go of this story just yet. I really wanted to write some snippets. So, here's 5 of them that I could think of. That's all really. Haha. Enjoy this extra surprise~ <33 Love you all! -Krystal

 

**1\. Arthur Hates Stanley**

 

I rarely wonder about my ex-boyfriends. I rarely care about them after we had broken up too. But there was one of my ex-boyfriends that I did almost care about and that was Stanley. He was a nice man. He was smart too and had a kind heart. He was also a romantic to boot, a hundred percent believer that if he loved someone, he should spoil them. 

But I didn’t regret leaving him. Not when Arthur was a hundred times more dotting than he could ever be. Still, Stanley was a nice man. 

So, when Stanley saw me one day, a year after our breakup, at an antique shop and asked me to have coffee with him since he wanted to catch up, I said yes. 

Arthur though…did not like that, not one bit.

“No,” Arthur said, staring at me, his blue eyes sharp. 

I snorted. “I don’t need your permission,” I snapped, looking at myself in the mirror as I fluffed my hair. 

“Merlin, no,” Arthur said, his voice coming out a bit whiny as he shuffled behind me and wrapped his arms around my waist. I looked at him through the mirror, my lips quirking upwards when he buried his face in my shoulder. 

“Arthur, come on,” I told him, patting his hands. “We’re just friends.”

“He’s Stanley,” Arthur groused, his voice muffled. 

Arthur seemed to think Stanley as a competition. Maybe because he was what Arthur thought was my type. He was. But he wasn’t Arthur, so there was that. 

“So?” I said, sighing. “You know you’re the only one for me.”

“I still don’t like him,” Arthur said as he tucked his chin on my shoulder. “If you go, I’m coming.”

“Oh, for God’s sakes,” I mumbled, turning around to glare at him.

“Don’t look at me like that,” Arthur grumbled, tightening his grip on my waist. “I just think Stanley is shady.”

“You’re just feeling jealous,” I pointed out. 

Arthur frowned. “And if I am?”

“Arthur,” I said, now a bit amused. I touched his face and grinned. “You don’t have to be jealous of him.”

“He could have had you,” Arthur said, his eyes flashing. “If I hadn’t come back, he could have been the one holding you like this.”

I dropped my hands to my sides and stared at him. “You’re such a child,” I said. “Still the possessive idiot I love.”

“Thanks,” Arthur said, sounding pleased. I poked his forehead. 

“That’s so not a compliment,” I told him. 

“Please don’t go,” he said. Great, now he was begging. 

“Arthur,” I whined. 

“Please?” he said. 

I crossed my arms against my chest. “Arthur, no,” I said. “Bad Arthur.”

Arthur’s left eyebrow twitched. “I’m not a dog, Merlin,” he said.

“You’re acting like one,” I retorted. That earned me a flick on my nose. I winced and rubbed it. 

“Just,” Arthur said before he sighed and took a step back. “Fine, go.”

I beamed at him. 

“Just for an hour,” he told me. I frowned.

“You don’t get to decide how long I can stay out,” I said. “I’m not your pet.”

Arthur flinched. “I just…don’t want you to be alone with him for too long.”

“Arthur, dear,” I said. That earned an eyebrow raise. “ _Dear_ ,” I emphasised anyway. “I’ll be back soon, I promise. It’s only at this nearby coffee shop. We’re just going to catch up. Okay?”

Arthur sucked his bottom lip before he nodded. 

“Great,” I said, smiling warmly at him. “That’s my boyfriend.”

“Whatever,” he grumbled, his cheeks pinking. “Give me a kiss before you go.”

“God, you’re shameless,” I said but I pecked his cheek anyway. That earned me a snort before he grabbed my neck and brought me into a lip on lip kiss. 

“Go, have fun,” he said, looking like he was about to get sick by uttering those words. “Not too much fun!”

“Of course not!” I said, slapping his shoulder as I walked out of the bathroom. “It’s just a chat!”

“I don’t think he sees it as ‘just a chat’ but whatever, since you won’t believe me,” he said, pouting. I rolled my eyes.

“See you, Arthur,” I said as I walked out my bedroom, Arthur following me to the front door. 

“Make sure you have your ring on!” Arthur called out as I walked out of the house. “Not on silent!”

“Bye!” I said.

 

***

 

It…was not just a chat. 

Fuck. 

Arthur was right. 

Fuck.

Stanley seemed to think that this was a date. He tried to touch my hand for the umpteenth time and I tried to take it away with a nervous laugh. Arthur was going to punch Stanley in his face and then he was going to look at me with that stupid smug look he recently acquired whenever I got something wrong. 

“Stanley,” I breathed out as I pulled my hand from his grasp again. “I thought we’re just going to talk. Why…why are you touching me?”

“Oh,” Stanley said, blinking. He sipped his coffee. “I thought we’re doing more than that.”

“A—ah,” I said, trying to keep the smile on my face from grimacing. “I’m sorry you seem to think that way but…I have a boyfriend, Stanley.”

Stanley frowned. “You do?”

“Yeah,” I said. 

“Oh,” Stanley said. “Who is it?”

“Uhm,” I said. “It’s…”

And then I saw him, walking into the coffee shop. Why…was he here? I blinked, surprised at his presence but he didn’t seem to know I was here. He just continued to walk to the counter to order something. 

“Arthur,” I said. 

“Arthur?” Stanley said. 

I looked at him before I nodded. “Ah, yeah,” I said. “Stanley, wait here, okay?”

“Uh, okay?” Stanley said, confused. I didn’t bother to explain as I stood up and walked to where Arthur was, ordering. I stood next to him, looking at him with my eyebrows furrowed before I poked his shoulder. Arthur looked at me but he didn’t look surprised. 

“You followed me!” I exclaimed. Arthur shrugged. 

“No, I just came here to get my coffee,” Arthur said, faking nonchalance in his voice. 

“You liar!” I said, in awe. “What the fuck, Arthur?”

“Babe, aren’t you here with someone?” Arthur asked, his voice a perfect mix of innocence and smugness. I frowned, resisting the urge to wipe the smile off his face. And then, I got an idea. I grinned and he looked taken aback now. 

“Don’t babe me,” I said. “Quickly, grab your coffee. You’re going to meet Stanley.”

Arthur furrowed his eyebrows. “Right,” he said. “And why would you allow me to meet your ex-boyfriend?”

“Because,” I said as I leaned close to him. “I’m going to teach you a lesson for following me around.”

“I didn’t follow you around though,” Arthur pointed out. “Seriously. I really wanted to clear my head so I came here. It’s a coincidence you’re here.”

I stared at him.

He sighed. 

“Alright, so I might have accidentally seen you in here while walking by, but hey, I’m still here for my coffee,” Arthur said. I shook my head.

“Come on, _dear_ ,” I said. “You have someone to meet.”

Arthur licked his lips, looking a bit nervous now. 

Good.

Once Arthur had his coffee, I grabbed his elbow and dragged him to the table Stanley was at. Stanley looked even more confused when we stood in front of him. I smiled at him before I hugged Arthur’s arm like I had seen Sophia did one time. Arthur tensed at that. 

This was fun. 

“Who’s…this?” Stanley said.

“This, Stanley,” I said as I patted Arthur’s chest. “Is my boyfriend of eight months.”

“Arthur?” Stanley enquired. He looked at Arthur before he looked at me.

Arthur took in a deep breath before he gave Stanley a fake bright smile. “Yes, Arthur Pendragon.”

Stanley took in a sharp breath at that. Oh, so he knew who the Pendragons were. 

I sat back on my seat. Arthur kept standing and finally sat down next to me when I gave him a look. Arthur sipped his coffee, looking at me before he looked at Stanley. 

“Oh, I think I’ve seen you before,” Stanley said, sounding uncomfortable. “I thought you were dating that girl, Emilia? You were seen with her last week, weren’t you? The news tablet reported it.”

I froze.

Arthur froze.

“No,” Arthur said, panicked. He looked at me. “No, no, no, Emilia is a client, remember? Merlin, I told you that I had a client with an actress, didn’t I? Emilia was the one.”

I sighed, nodding. I patted Arthur’s shoulder, calming him down. “I know,” I said. Arthur looked relieved and then he just looked annoyed as he turned to glare at Stanley. Stanley shrunk in his seat. 

“If you don’t know what you’re talking about, then shut up,” Arthur said, coldly. 

“Arthur,” I said, sighing. 

“Sorry,” Stanley said. “I just didn’t know you were interested in men.”

Arthur opened his mouth but I grabbed his hand to stop him. 

“Oh, well, we were high school sweethearts,” I told Stanley. “We broke up for a while—”

“Six years is not _a while_ , Merlin,” Arthur mumbled. 

I ignored him. 

“But you know, I never stopped loving him so here we are again.”

Stanley narrowed his eyes at Arthur before he looked at me. “Wait, hold on,” he said. “The ‘bastard blond idiot prat who’s also my fucking ex’ you were complaining about when we got drunk a year back was Arthur?”

I licked my lips, my turn to feel nervous when Arthur’s sharp eyes were aimed at me. 

“Bastard…blond idiot prat?” Arthur quoted, sounding amused and perplexed. 

“Look, I was still jealous, alright?” I admitted, blushing. “You were dating that stupid red-head bimbo and there was news you were going to marry her so…”

“Merlin,” Arthur said, his voice soft. “You should know that the only one I want to marry is you.”

I held back the smile that threatened to take over my face. 

Stanley stared at us for a while. “So, this isn’t a date then?” he asked.

I winced at that. Arthur choked on his coffee.

“This is a _date_?” Arthur said. 

“Sorry, Stanley,” I said. 

“Right,” Stanley said before he sighed. “I hope he treats you well.”

“He does,” I said, smiling at him. Stanley narrowed his eyes at Arthur before he nodded.

“You better treat him right,” he said. “Or else I’ll steal him away.”

“S—Stanley,” I said, reddening.

Arthur slammed his cup of coffee on the table. He then grinned, sharply. “I’ll marry him and give you an invitation to the wedding,” Arthur said. 

“Oh God,” I breathed out, rubbing a hand down my face. Stanley rolled his eyes before he stood up. 

“If you need me, Merlin,” Stanley said. “For anything at all, you give me a call. I’ll see you.”

“Thanks, Stanley,” I said. I watched him walk away then, slouching on my chair.

“You will _not_ call _him_ for _anything_ ,” Arthur said. “In fact, give me your phone, I’m going to delete his existence from it.”

“Arthur,” I said, looking at him. “I don’t even _have_ his number anymore, so stop being a child.”

Arthur blinked a few times before he grinned, this time warmly. “ _Good_ ,” he said, nodding, pleased. 

“It’s just I changed my phone and his number didn’t make it,” I teased, seeing him tense. “Maybe I _should_ get his number—”

Arthur touched the back of my neck and dragged me into a kiss. Shocked, I stared at him. He pulled away, looking at my face before he kissed my forehead. 

“Wha—What?” I breathed out. 

“I love you,” Arthur said. I reddened, looking away as I fiddled with my cup of coffee. I glanced at him before I leaned against him. Arthur chuckled. 

“I love you too, you jealous idiot,” I mumbled. 

“You just don’t understand your appeal,” Arthur said, almost mourning at that fact. 

“And you,” I said, poking his shoulder. “Don’t understand how many times I wish the bimbos won’t go near you.”

Arthur draped his arm across my shoulders and dragged me close. “I’m sorry,” he said. “I didn’t know they took pictures of me and Emilia discussing the case.”

“I believe you,” I told him with a smile, earning a kiss on my temple. 

“And I believe you too,” he said. “You’re mine and I know you’ll be faithful. I hope you don’t take it to heart when I throw tantrums like—”

“Like telling Stanley he’ll get an invite to our hypothetical wedding?” I asked. He sucked his bottom lip before he shrugged.

“I don’t think I want it to be hypothetical,” he said, slowly. I looked at him, eyes wide. I grinned, knocking his shoulder. 

“Me either,” I told him, softly. Arthur pinked before he grinned back. 

“Soon,” he said.

I nodded. 

He kissed my temple again. 

“Soon,” I agreed. 

We sipped our coffee, quietly, wrapped in each other. 

 

** 2\. Will Loves Leon—A Lot.  **

 

Will loved Leon. _A lot_. 

He was so gone for him, it was hilarious. Because Will was sure he had been straight all his life before Leon came. And he didn’t think there would a time in his life where Leon would be someone who Will wanted to see every morning and every night. All day every day. 

“So, you love him?” Merlin asked, blinking. 

“Yes,” Will said, seriously. 

That was when Merlin started chortling. Will turned red and slammed a pillow against Merlin’s face. 

“Oi!” Merlin said, still laughing. “I’m sorry, it’s just—then tell him you love him!”

“Easy for you to say!” Will groused. “He’s on his footie tour or some shite like that. He won’t be back until next week.”

“Then, fly over to see him,” Merlin said, shrugging. Will crossed his arms against his chest.

“You pay for my flight tickets then,” Will deadpanned. Merlin chuckled. 

“Just tell him, Will,” Merlin said. “He loves you too.”

“He does?” Will perked up at that. 

“Yes,” Merlin said, nodding without hesitation. 

“So, how should I tell him?” Will asked. 

Merlin rolled his eyes. 

“Like this,” Merlin said. “Leo, I love you.”

“Leo?” Will asked. 

“Yeah, or whatever pet names you have for each other,” Merlin said, making a face at that. Will slapped Merlin over his head.

“I just call him Leon,” Will said. “And he calls me Will.”

“You two have been dating almost as long as Arthur and I and you don’t have pet names for each other?” Merlin asked, amused. 

“Why? Do you have one for Arthur?” Will asked, a bit nervously. 

“Yeah,” Merlin said. “I call him prat, idiot, possessive bastard, a pain in my arse—”

“A…normal pet name, Merlin,” Will said. 

“Oh, I call him love sometimes,” Merlin said. “And if I’m feeling annoyed at him, _dear_.”

“Dear?” Will asked. 

“Dear,” Merlin said, nodding. “He calls me babe a lot. And love. And scrawny and a girl. When he wants to become a possessive child, he calls me ‘Mine’ even though he gets guilty saying that afterwards. Sometimes when he thinks I’m being too dramatic, he likes to call me princess.”

“Pr— _Princess_?” Will said, laughing. Merlin kicked his leg.

“He’s a fucking sap, alright?” Merlin said. “Something about us always seemed to make him turn into a sap.”

“You’re happy though, right?” Will asked. 

Merlin nodded. “Yes,” Merlin said, his cheeks staining red. Will smiled. 

“Good,” Will said. “But no, Leon doesn’t…call me anything but Will.”

Will furrowed his eyebrows. “Does that mean he doesn’t love me?”

“No,” Merlin said. “It just means he doesn’t have a pet name for you yet. Stop thinking so much and just tell him you love him, with or without pet names.”

Will bit his bottom lip before he nodded. Merlin patted his shoulder. 

“You’ll be fine, Will,” Merlin said.

 

***

 

Leon had been home for two days and Will was getting more and more unsure on how to tell him he loved him. What if Leon didn’t love him back? What if Leon wasn’t ready to love him yet? 

Will fidgeted as he looked at his bowl of popcorn. Leon sat next to him, his arm draped across his shoulders, tucking Will underneath his arm and against his chest. Will glanced at him once in a while before he shoved popcorn into his mouth, fidgeting more and more until he became too restless and Leon had to pull away. 

“Will?” Leon asked. “You okay?”

“Uh…yeah,” Will said. He bit his bottom lip. Leon hummed. 

“You sure?” Leon asked. 

“Yeah,” Will said, looking at him before giving him a nervous smile. Leon searched his face before he frowned. 

“You look red,” Leon said, touching Will’s cheek. Will held his breath as he subconsciously leaned into the warmth. “And you feel warm.”

“I,” Will said and then he blushed redder. “Nothing’s wrong.”

“Yeah?” Leon said, his voice cautious. “Alright, I believe you.”

Will sucked his bottom lip as he looked at his lap, fingers moving around the rim of the bowl. Maybe, he should tell Leon now. So, he gathered his courage and opened his mouth, looking at Leon in his eyes only for him to say, “I missed you.”

Leon melted at that, grinning as he took the popcorn bowl and placed it on the coffee table. Then, he kissed Will. Will, panicked because that wasn’t what he meant to say, froze before he tentatively kissed him back. He closed his eyes and sighed into the kiss, disappointed at himself as he touched Leon’s face. 

Leon pulled away before he kissed Will’s forehead and settled back. “I missed you too,” Leon said. Will smiled at him. 

Why couldn’t he say it?

 

***

 

There were a few times Will almost said the words out loudbut at the end of the day, all that came out of his mouth was something different. Leon always melted anyway but that wasn’t what Will wanted him to melt at. 

He was getting more and more frustrated. 

“Why don’t you call me anything else but Will?” he blurted out one day. Leon, who had been playing with his phone, stopped to look at him, confused. 

“Uh,” he said. “What…else am I supposed to call you?”

Will licked his lips. “I don’t know,” he said. “Pet names, I guess.”

“Oh,” Leon breathed out. “Do you want one?”

Will glanced at him, reddening before he nodded. 

Leon chuckled before he hummed. “To be honest with you, I don’t know what to call you but Will,” Leon said. Will’s heart sank at that. 

“Oh,” Will said. Leon, unaware of the inner turmoil, simply grinned at him.

“I like Will anyway,” Leon said. “But if I find a pet name I want to use, I’ll let you know about it, alright?”

“Okay,” Will said, trying to hide the disappointment. “Uh, do you want a pet name?”

Leon shrugged, looking back to his phone. “Not really,” he said.

Will kept silent at that. And if that night, he was even more silent than usual and Leon shot concerned looks whenever he thought Will wasn’t looking well, Will made sure to ignore it and continue to sulk under the bedsheets.

 

***

 

Leon interlaced their fingers and pressed it against the sheets. He breathed heavily against Will’s cheek, his lips dragging down to his neck. Will closed his eyes as he took in sharp gasps, his breaths escaping his lips every time Leon moved. 

And through the haze of pleasure, he almost blurted out the thing that he had been desperately trying to say. Only, he didn’t want to say it like this. Not for the first time anyway. Not when they were in the middle of sex. That—No.

And yet, Will almost did. 

“L—Leon, I lo—” and Will bit into Leon’s shoulder to stop himself with a sudden moment of clarity. Leon stopped moving completely, breathing harshly. Will could feel the haze drifting away and suddenly acutely aware of the predicament he was in. His eyes widened and his heart raced for a different reason than just now. Leon tightened their fingers before he pushed himselfup to look at Will in his eyes. 

“W—What?” Leon said, eyebrows furrowing. Will’s eyes landed on his shoulder where he could see his teeth mark on it. Was Leon even aware Will had bit his shoulder? 

“Uhm…what?” Will feigned innocence. “W—Why did you stop?”

Leon searched his face before he huffed his breath. “Sorry, I thought you said something,” he said. Will just leaned up and kissed him. Leon took the bait and kissed him back, pushing him once more against the sheets.

 

***

 

Will now laid curled with Leon draped over his back. Will glanced at the clock. It had been almost an hour since they had sex and Leon was sleeping soundly behind him but Will was still— _awake_. Awake like an owl. And restless. His body ached but he was restless. He sighed and gently pushed himself out of bed, turning to look at Leon to make sure he was asleep and then he searched for his pants and shirt. 

Wearing them, he made his way out of the room, wincing as the sharp pain shoot up his spine. Cheeks reddening, he slowly walked to the sofa and plopped on it. 

He leaned against the arm of the sofa, staring at the ceiling, letting the silence to calm him down. 

How much of an idiot could he be? 

How would Leon even act to him confessing he was in love with him?

Leon froze. There was that. Leon froze. 

Would he freeze when Will finally said it? 

Will frowned and rubbed his face. He closed his eyes and let the cushion hug him. 

Before he knew it, he fell asleep. 

 

***

 

Morgana, that evil witch, saw right through him when he and Leon met her and the rest of their friends at this club. Merlin, like always, was grumbling and whining only this time, Arthur was whining with him. 

“Look,” Gwaine said, chuckling. “Just stay for like a pint or two and then you can leave.”

Merlin sucked his bottom lip and said, “Fine.”

Gwaine then looked at Arthur and raised his eyebrows, “Okay, Princess?”

Arthur rolled his eyes but it was with fondness. It took Arthur and Gwaine a while to become friends again but when they did, they were as close as they had been when they were in school. “Fine,” Arthur said. “Let’s go.”

Morgana grabbed Will’s arm and pulled him aside. Leon looked at them, frowning. 

“You go on first,” Will said, avoiding his eyes. Leon stiffened before he nodded curtly. Then, he walked into the club without a second look. 

Will winced at that. Morgana tightened her grip on his arm, looking at him with a knowing look. Will sighed. 

“I love him,” Will said. “I just don’t know how to tell him.”

“Oh,” Morgana said as she frowned, dropping her hand from his elbow. “Did you both get into a fight?”

“No,” Will said as he rubbed the back of his neck. “But I have been acting a bit weird…”

“He looks upset,” Morgana said. “You should quickly sort this mess out.”

“I will,” Will said. “But I don’t know how to tell him, ‘Gana.”

“Just…tell him?” Morgana said, confused. “It isn’t that hard.”

“I know but I—He’s…the first person I love,” Will said. “And I want…to tell him when it’s the right time.”

Morgana’s look softened before she smiled. “He’ll understand if you tell him,” she said. “As your best friend, don’t do something stupid. Only Merlin’s stupid like that.”

Will laughed. “Don’t let him hear you say that,” Will said. Morgana grinned. 

After that, Will walked into the club, cringing at the generic music playing through the speakers. With a sigh, he walked to his friends, greeting them before he settled next to Leon, who didn’t look that upset anymore. Instead, he kissed Will’s temple and gave him a glass of what seemed to be a mix of—Will didn't know what it was, to be honest. But it tasted sweet and he liked how his head was buzzing after drinking the entire glass. 

“I want more of these,” Will said. 

Leon didn’t hear them though, sucked into a conversation with the rest of his friends. So, he stood up and went to the bar himself. He placed the empty glass on the bar counter, waving a bartender down. The bartender had wavy brown hair and sparkling blue eyes. He grinned when he saw Will.

“How can I help ya, mate?” the man said, his voice friendly. 

“I need whatever the fuck this is,” Will said, already slurring a bit in his words. The bartender blinked as he took the empty glass. 

“Uh, okay,” he said as he sniffed it. “Oh, I made this.”

Will beamed at this. “Great,” he said. “Make me another one please.”

The bartender chuckled, amused. “Sure thing,” he said. “Do you want to watch me make it?”

“Yeah,” Will said, thinking it would be nice to know what the hell the man put in his drink to make it taste so good. Will took the bartender in, watching how his hands moved as he mixed the drinks and then finally filled his glass up. He placed it on the counter with another charming grin. 

“For you,” he said. Will hummed happily as he took the glass, sipping it. Ah, it tasted good. 

“Thanks, mate,” Will said, deciding to just sit close to him in case he needed another refill. 

“So,” the bartender said. “What’s your name?”

“William,” Will said. “Will is what people usually call me, so.”

“Ah, nice,” the bartender said. “I’m Henry.”

“Hullo, Henry,” Will said. “Thanks for the drink. It tastes good.”

“I’m glad you like it, Will,” he said. “Did you come here alone?”

“Hah, no,” Will said. “I came with my friends.”

“And you decided to sit here all by yourself?” the man asked. Will shrugged as he sipped more of the drink. 

“I just want to buy another one of this drink,” Will said, honestly. “And I decided to stay close in case I wanted another one.”

The man chuckled. “You’re cute as fuck, mate,” the bartender said. Will frowned a bit, his cheeks pinking.

“I’m not cute,” he mumbled. Just then he felt a hand touching his back. Startled, he turned to look who it was. He sighed in relief when he realised it was Leon. Leon sat next to him, looking at his face before he looked at the bartender, who was taking both of them in. 

“I’ll have whatever he’s having,” Leon said as he pointed at Will. Will giggled and nodded.

“Let’s match drinks,” Will agreed. Leon gave him a wary smile. 

“What are you doing here?” Leon said. 

“Oh,” Will said. “I wanted another drink.”

“So, you left without a word,” Leon hummed, slightly amused. Will nodded. Leon sighed as he ran his fingers through Will’s hair. “What’s been going on with you lately, hm?”

“Nothing,” Will said. “Nothing. Nope. Nothing.”

Leon didn’t reply but Will could feel his eyes boring into him. 

“Here you go,” Henry said as he placed an identical coloured drink in front of Leon. Will eyed it for a second before he grabbed it from Leon’s grasp. Leon raised his eyebrows at that. 

“Uh…,” Leon said. Will downed his glass and started sipping Leon’s. “Will.”

“What?” Will said, his mind buzzed. “It tastes good.”

Leon chuckled as he gently pried the glass from Will’s fingers. “It’s mine,” he said. Will pouted.

“Hey, I can make another one for you,” Henry said, grinning at Will. Will looked at him and blinked slowly before he grinned. 

“Yes,” Will said. Leon watched him quietly. Will eyed Henry’s hands as he mixed his drink, taking the glass from Henry with a happy smile. “You’re really good at making this. I like you. I’ll hire you to make me this forever.”

Henry laughed, sounding more than amused. “Sure thing, mate,” he said. “You can hire me if you want.”

There was definitely a tone of flirting in his words that grazed Will’s nerves. He gave the bartender a weak smile, realising what had been happening. When he looked at Leon, he had a weird look on his face. Will stood up then, thanked the bartender and started to walk away, Leon following him. 

It was another hour before Will had no choice but to go home. Leon pulled him out of the club while he whined for more of the drinks. Leon wrapped an arm around his waist and tried to get Will to walk straight. 

“Hey, hey, hey,” Will slurred as he stopped, turning to face Leon. He grabbed Leon’s face, grinning giddily. “I really like you.”

Leon chuckled. “Thanks,” he said. “I really like you too.”

“I…I wasn’t, uh, flirting back there with that bartender,” Will continued to say, frowning for a second as words became harder to form. “I only like you.”

Leon hummed. “I know,” he said. He tucked a strand of hair to the back of Will’s ear. “I know.”

“G—Good,” Will said as he hugged Leon tight. “I like you a lot.”

Leon didn’t say anything but he hugged him back. 

And then Will said, “I love you.”

Leon froze. 

Will froze.

Suddenly, he was ten times more sober than before and he pushed Leon away. “Oh fuck,” Will breathed out, panic rushing into his veins. Leon stared at him for a while. “Oh _fuck_! I—I…I wasn’t supposed to say it like that!” He teared up, disappointed in himself again. “I was—It wasn’t supposed to be said like this!”

“Will,” Leon said as he took a step towards him. He touched his face. “It’s alright.”

Will sniffed as more tears gathered in his eyes. “I was supposed to say it when the time is right,” Will mumbled. “When you loved me back.”

Leon froze again before he pulled Will against him, hugging him. “I do,” he said. Will closed his eyes and the tiny moment of soberness washed away. “I do,” Leon said. 

“Okay,” Will mumbled. 

Leon chuckled. “I should get you drunk often,” Leon mumbled. 

“Hm, sounds good,” Will said and he sagged in Leon’s arms.

 

***

 

When Will woke up with a splitting headache and an amused looking Leon, he just knew he had done something stupid again. So, after he had taken his painkiller, eaten his lunch and rolled himself into a burritowith his blanket on the couch, he finally asked, “So…what did I do?”

Leon frowned. “You don’t remember?”

Will frowned back as he tried to recall what he did. And then—he _remembered_. 

His cheeks blazed red and he buried himself in the burrito of blankets he made. Leon grinned. 

“I love you too, Will,” Leon said as he sat in front of Will, pulling the blankets from his grasp. He looked at Will in the eyes. “I love you too.”

Will stared at Leon before he said, “Really?”

Leon chuckled as he ran his fingers through Will’s hair. “Is that why you’ve been acting weird lately? Even sleeping on the sofa after we had sex?”

“Oh, that was an accident,” Will said, blushing. “But…yeah.”

“Will,” Leon breathed out. “I love you too.”

Will grinned then as he hugged Leon tight. “I was supposed to say it at the right time.”

“Yeah, when I loved you back, I remember,” Leon teased.

Will buried his face in Leon’s shoulder and groaned, embarrassed. “Never get me drunk again.”

“Oh, well, you see—” Leon said and was stopped when Will placed a hand over his mouth. Leon took his hand away and smiled. “I love you.”

Will reddened but he was happy. “I love you too.” 

Leon kissed him then. 

 

** 3\. The ‘One Time We Broke Up’ Incident  **

 

“When you said you saw me crying,” I told Arthur as I lied my head on his chest. Arthur dropped his tablet next to him, staring down at me, blinking, confused. 

“You were crying?” Arthur said, slightly alarmed. “When?”

I chuckled. “No, I meant, when we broke up,” I said. Arthur winced at that. I sighed, pecking his clothed chest. “Sorry, I just really wanted to know.”

“Okay,” Arthur said. “What do you want to know?”

“When you said you saw me crying,” I said. “Did you hear me say anything while crying?”

Arthur frowned. “No, all I saw was you crying. I—I didn’t know what to do, to be honest. I just stared at you crying for a long time until I couldn’t stand it anymore and walked away.”

I hummed. A hand touched my head, fingers running through my hair. “Do you want to know what I said to myself while I was crying?”

Arthur stilled. “No,” he said.

I looked at him. “No?”

“No,” Arthur said. “Because it’s in the past and I don’t want to remember that one time I left you crying.”

I smiled. “Okay,” I said. Arthur kissed my head. 

“Okay?” Arthur said. 

I nodded. “I love you,” I said. 

Arthur chuckled. “I love you too.”

 

** 4\. Arthur Meets Hunith Again **

 

Mum stared at Arthur as she sipped her tea. Arthur sat in front of her, fidgeting while gripping my hand tight underneath the table. I smiled at Mum when she looked at me.

“You’re telling me,” Mum said. “You want to marry Merlin and you need my permission to do so?”

“Yes,” Arthur said, nodding. 

Mum then smiled, sighing happily. “Arthur, love, of course it’s a yes. As long as this time you don’t break his heart.”

“Mum,” I said. Arthur shook his head and smiled. 

“I won’t,” Arthur promised. “I…I love him a lot and I want to call him my husband.”

“Look at that,” Mum said, her eyes tearing up. “My son is going to get married!”

I smiled warmly at Mum. 

“So, how did he propose?” Mum asked. 

Arthur and I froze.

“We…we uh,” I said. 

“I didn’t,” Arthur said. “Not yet…anyway.”

Mum blinked. “Oh,” she said. “You are going to be giving Merlin a ring, aren’t you?”

“Yes!” Arthur said, his eyes wide. “Of course.”

“Mum, please,” I said. “I don’t need a ring for me to know he’ll marry me.”

Arthur smiled at that before he smoothed his face out to seriousness. “I’ll get him a ring,” Arthur said. 

Mum nodded, pleased. “Get him a big one.”

“Mum!” I said and Mum laughed. 

“I’m just joking!” Mum said. “But really, I’m happy. I thought I’d never get to see you again, Arthur. I always liked you. Now, now I can be relieved to know my son is in good hands.”

Arthur looked touched at that. “Thank you, Hunith.”

Mum beamed. “So, when do you want your wedding to be?”

“Mum!” 

 

** 5\. Arthur Proposed  **

 

I walked into our shared flat, tired. I closed the front door, frowning when I realised that the lights were dimmed. Toeing off my shoes and taking off my jacket, I walked further into the flat until I reached the dining area. My breath hitched in my throat when I saw Arthur standing near the table, food on it. He was wearing a suit with a gentle smile on his face. 

“Well,” I said, swallowing a lump in my throat. “Someone looks handsome tonight.”

Arthur cracked a grin at that. Arthur stretched out his hand, beckoning me to take it but I only shook my head. Arthur frowned, perplexed. 

“I need to shower,” I told him. “I…Give me twenty minutes and I’ll get cleaned up too.”

Arthur opened his mouth but I cut it off with a peck on his lips. “Okay,” he said. “Go, don’t take too long.”

“I’ll be right back!” I beamed and rushed off to our bedroom and into the bathroom, my heart racing against my chest as I wondered what today’s occasion was that warranted all of this. 

Once I was showered, I looked through my closet and found a pair of skinny jeans and a buttoned up shirt to wear. I looked at myself in the mirror, smiling. I brushed my hair with my fingers, knowing that Arthur liked how it looked. With a nod and a nervous thump in my chest, I walked out of the bedroom to the dining area.

Arthur looked at me, his hands in his trousers pockets and grinned.

“Now you look pretty good too,” Arthur said. I blushed and grinned back. 

“So,” I said, this time allowing Arthur to hold my hand. “What’s the occasion?”

Arthur hummed as he brushed a finger down my cheek before he kissed my forehead. 

“Just for reasons,” Arthur said, cryptically. I frowned a bit before I shrugged. Arthur would tell me soon. 

“You cooked this?” I asked once I was seated in front of him at the dining table, eyeing the food with hunger. 

“I cooked some,” Arthur said. “Morgana cooked the rest.”

I chuckled, happy at the thought that Arthur cooked. 

“Eat,” Arthur said as he hooked our ankles together. 

“Thanks,” I said. “Work was terrible today, so this is nice.”

“Hm, I hope they aren’t asking you to stay overnight again,” Arthur said, his voice dripping in disapproval. I chuckled.

“Not this time,” I said. “What about you? Did you even go to work today?”

“I did,” Arthur said. “But since I don’t take cases anymore, I was just checking some things out.”

“Ah,” I said. “That’s…nice?”

Arthur chuckled. “It will be,” he said, his voice promising. I blinked at that, wondering what he meant. 

When we finished with our dinner, Arthur brought out a bottle of champagne. At least, I thought it was until I realised it was sparkling white grape juice. I laughed. 

“Thanks,” I said, touched that Arthur did these littlest things for me. “Now, are you going to tell me what today is all about?”

Arthur placed the bottle on the cleaned up dining table, his own glass of sparkling juice abandoned as he stood in front of me. I sipped my drink before I placed the glass on the table too, sitting up properly. 

Arthur touched my face before he leaned down and kissed me. 

“I love you,” he breathed out. I nodded and smiled. 

“I love you too,” I said. “But…what does that—”

And—Arthur got down on one knee and that was when everything made sense. I blushed, eyes wide. My heart thumped loudly against my chest and my stomach flipped nervously. 

“A—Arthur?” I asked. Arthur smiled warmly before he took my hands. 

“I love you,” Arthur said as he caressed my palms. “Merlin, when I met you, all those years ago, I didn’t think you’d end up meaning so much to me. As a friend, as a lover. You made me feel things no one else did. You made me question everything about me in the best ways. For a brief moment when we were younger, you made me feel like I was enough, that being myself is enough. Then, I felt lost and unsure when you left. When I saw you in the rain, my heart shattered. I felt like my whole world got turned upside down and I decided that if I couldn’t love you, if I could’t be with you, then I don’t want anyone else. 

To hide all the pain, all the loneliness, everything, I became cold. I became indifferent. And suddenly, you walked into my life again about a year and a half ago and I changed all over again. Only this time, you mended my broken heart with your selflessness. And I vowed right there and then that I will never leave you alone, never let you defend for yourself again. And now, I’m…making true of that vow, that promise. I want to love you for the rest of my life, no matter what happens after this. I want to take care of you and hold you in my arms forever. I just—want you. You complete my life. You complete _me_. You’re the only one who could light up my life without even trying. 

You’re so easy to love. You’re so easy to fall into. You’re beautiful when you’re trying your best, cute when you’re grumpy, sexy when you’re angry or flustered but most of all, you’re magnificent when you love me. And I want you to keep loving me. As selfish as this sounds, I want you to always look at me for support, for encouragement, when you’re down, when you’re happy. Let me be your entire world like you’re mine. Merlin—I love you so much it goddamn hurts sometimes just to think about not being with you for even a second. So, be mine. Let me love you and love me back just as much. Marry me.”

I was stunned at the words as tears ran down my cheeks. I looked at him as he pulled a hand away and took out a ring from his jacket. He smiled, his own eyes shimmering in tears. I couldn’t breathe after his speech. It overwhelmed me in the best way. 

I launched at him once I could get my limbs to work, making him to catch me and topple to the ground with a harsh thud. 

“ _Yes_ ,” I breathed out as I looked at him in his eyes. “Yes, yes, yes.”

Arthur grinned but it came out soft. His eyes were shining in happiness. He grabbed my left hand and pushed the ring onto my ring finger. 

“You’re so sappy,” I choked out, crying. “I love you so much too. Of course, I’ll marry you and love you. I’ll come to you for everything, Arthur. I already do. You’re my whole life. Without you, I was so sad and dull and—you mean a lot to me. You’re _everything_ to me.”

“I love you too,” Arthur breathed out, his voice filled with emotion as he placed a hand on my face. I leaned down and kissed him until we’re both breathless. “Thank you.”

“Don’t thank me,” I said as I sniffed. I touched his face with my shaking fingers and wiped away his tears. “You’ve already got me the minute you came back to me.”

Arthur turned us around, a hand at the back of my head to protect me from hitting the floor. He kissed me again before he pulled away and sat down. I sat down in front of him. 

“Where’s your ring?” I asked. Arthur chuckled wetly as he pulled out another ring from his jacket, identical to mine. I grabbed it and held out my hand. Arthur placed his left hand on mine and I placed the ring on his ring finger. I smiled happily at that. 

Arthur wiped my tears away too, bringing our faces close together, our noses brushing. 

“I can’t wait to marry you,” Arthur said. I laughed, slapping his shoulder. 

“Me too,” I agreed. “Me too.”

“Now,” Arthur said, grinning a bit childishly. “I can send our not-so-hypothetical-wedding-invitation to Stanley.”

I looked at him flatly. “Arthur, _dear_ , you’re never gonna grow up, are you?”

“Merlin, _babe_ ,” Arthur said, knowing exactly how much I hated that pet name but using it anyway. “You’re going to be married to _me_.”

I laughed, amused. “Touché.”

Arthur hummed, pecking my lips. “And I’ll never make your life boring.”

“Arthur,” I said. “You’re never boring to me. You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me.”

Arthur smiled. “You’re the best thing that has ever happened to me too, Merlin,” he said. “Me too.”

After a beat of silence, he said, “So, about sending that invitation to Stanley…”

_ “Arthur!” _

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> Original coding before edit by museaway


End file.
